Samyu

it had been a while since you darkened the doors of the catholic church your parents took you to every sunday of your childhood. 

they would be mortified to learn that you had become a ceo (christmas and easter only) if they had lived long enough to see it. 

recently you been feeling, homesick? in some twisted messed up way?

the church had always felt like another home to you, and you thought perhaps you might be able to find some solace, some peace.

even if you didn’t think you believed in god anymore. 

how could god exist with all of the awful things going on in the world? if he did exist, you thought he certainly couldn’t be that good.

but you put your grievances with the religion aside, stepping through the doors for the first time in a while. 

you sat in your family pew, looking up at the alter. it made you feel especially close to your mother. 

memories filled your mind of how she taught you the bible, reading verses with you, teaching you the lord’s prayer.

you started to run over it in your head when you heard a door open. 

in walked the priest. he was quite young, possibly 30, and you’d never seen him before. 

he acknowledged you with a nod of his head before walking into the confessional booth. 

you hadn’t even planned on taking confession, unsure what sins you wanted to admit to. 

you could admit you indulged in alcohol a bit more than you should of, or that you smoked a few cigarettes. 

but there was one thing plaguing your mind. 

you’d made a promise to yourself to wait until marriage. but you’d broken that promise. first with the guy you thought you would end up marrying. and then again and again after.

your body kept chasing that feeling again and again. 

in the end, he cheated on you, and here you were. stuck in your hometown, with nothing more than a broken promise. 

that pushes you over the edge. you rise from the pew with shaky hands, walking over to the confessional booth. 

“forgive me father. for i have sinned.” you say as you sit down, running through the motions. “it has been… a few years, since my last confessional.”

you looked down at your hands crossed in your hands.

“i have indulged in alcohol. and partying, and similar behaviour.” a tear falls down your cheek.

“i haven’t been going to church, or even including god in my life.” 

tears start to spring from your eyes, you felt so emotional, so connected to your parents. 

the last words were caught in your throat. 

“and i.” your lip starts to waver. 

“it’s alright my child, i am here to help you.” he responds, reassuring you from the other side of the curtain.

“i engaged in premarital sex.” you start sobbing, your head in your hands. 

“now, do not be afraid. i’m glad you came i to see me today. that was the first step. there is no doubt in my mind that you can become pious again.” he starts to reassure you. 

“one lapse of judgement does not define you as a person.” he continues. “you are back on the right path my child.” 

he smiles to himself as your sobs start to subside. you take a deep breath, taking a moment to ground yourself.

“and i can help to guide you.”

“thank you father.” your hands still clasped together. 

“would you like to pray together?” he says, handing you a lifeline. 

“yes father. thank you.” you respond, still in the confessional booth.

“dear father.” he starts. “one of your sheep has been lost. please help me to guide her, helping her to take you back into her life. allow me to show her the right path, the path of piety and love. amen.”

“amen.” you say under your breath, another tear rolls down your cheek.

“go in peace my child. i hope that i will see you again, and that i can continue to guide you. the lord as my shepherd.” 

“thank you father. amen.” you stand up, almost fleeing from him. 

you needed some time to process. some time alone. 

you walk around your neighbourhood until your feet hurt. 

you try to clear your mind but it’s a losing battle. 

something about that priest, you were drawn to him. you felt like going to church this sunday for the first time in a long time. 

you felt like you could trust him. it was almost instant the way you felt reassured under his wing. 

perhaps church wouldn’t be that bad.

-

you thought about him off and on until sunday. 

you put on a nice dress, smoothing the fabric under your fingers. 

your face was done up, not to the point of vanity, but enough to cover the dark circles under your eyes. 

when you walked into the church, it was full of people already. you were grateful that no one was in your pew, so you walked towards it taking a seat. 

it was hard for you to ignore all of the waves and smiles from family friends. 

you felt like a minor celebrity.

but there was another pair of eyes that were watching you. ones that you didn’t notice because he was out of your sight line. 

stood in the wings, he was examining you. contemplating what he would say to you later.

something about your parents surely.

although you didn’t know him, he already knew everything about you. 

when the bells start to ring, he steps out, smiling at the congregation. 

“good morning everyone.” he stops at the podium. 

“welcome, peace of christ be with you,” he says.

“and also with you.” you and the congregation respond. 

“thank you everyone for coming, a special welcome to those of you who are worshiping with us for the first time.” his eyes dart over to you. 

he moves to light the christ candle.

“christ be with you.” he says, arms open.

“and also with you.” you respond. 

you squirm as you sit through the service. 

the priest continues to look at you.

of course his sermon is about finding your way back to christ, and repentance. and it doesn’t help that you found yourself extremely attracted to him. 

you glance at the program. scanning for his information. 

reverend arthur frederick it says at the top. 

arthur. it suited him. 

something about the way he spoke, and the way he looked at you. it left you wondering what it would be like to kiss those soft supple lips. 

but those days were supposed to be behind you. 

you tune back into the service as he continues to talk about how the shepherd welcomes back the sheep who has been missing. 

how it is just as important as the other sheep, if not more. 

you can’t help but feel like it’s targeted.

“believe that god rejoices when his followers return.” he looks at you. “for your sins will be forgiven once you have agreed to follow christ again.” 

you face starts to flush red.

his gaze on you feels almost intimate. it has you feeling like you’re about to come undone.

you stand as arthur delivers the benediction, your head bowed in prayer. 

after the service ends you have many people coming up to you. 

you entertain the conversation, knowing it’s what your parents would have wanted. 

you accept their condolences, answer their questions about your life, asking them about theirs. 

they tell you that it’s good to see you. that you should come back. isn’t the reverend just amazing?

you nod along. at this point you’d have to come back, no matter your opinion on god. it would be expected of you.

eventually arthur himself approaches you.

“hello again.” arthur takes your hand in his own, shaking it.

“hello father arthur.” you smile up at him. 

“this may seem a bit strange, but i wanted to extend my condolences about your parents. they told me so much about you.” his smile is warm, inviting.

“i appreciate it. it’s hard to be here without them.” you look at your shoes.

“well i’m sure they would be very proud of you for coming here, especially your mother.” arthur continues to look at you. “i can tell they are smiling down on us.” his hand still on yours.

“thank you father.” you look back up at him. 

“how are you coping with everything?” he asks sincerely. “if you need any help with the grief process, please know i am always here for you.” 

“i appreciate it reverend. thank you for your service today. i’m sure i will see you soon.” you take your hand back, walking passed him towards the door.

you couldn’t stand that look of pity anymore. you’d dealt with it far to much.

but you knew you’d be back. there was something about him. 

but you didn’t need help with the grief process, it was getting over your sins that bothers you. 

you’d felt like, well, a sinner in church.

you felt like you weren’t meant to be there. you needed to work through your problems and go through the process of reclaiming your faith. 

you felt like you had betrayed god, and in turn, your parents. you knew that meeting with father arthur was the only way you could work through it.

-

it was wednesday evening. you’d finished work, and you walked through the doors of the church again. 

“hello father,” you seek him out immediately.

“i’m glad you’ve come back.” he takes your hand. “why don’t we go to my study, and you can tell me what’s been bothering you.” 

he leads you through the church, taking you to his study. you go willingly, trusting him blindly. 

he sits down at his desk, gesturing to the seat in front of him.

“so, lets start with the beginning. what made you come back to church, and why.” his hands are clasped together in front of you. 

“well father. i’ve been missing my parents, and this had made me feel closer to them. but i don’t know if i, belong here.” you’re fiddling with your thumbs, avoiding eye contact. 

“of course you belong here, everyone is welcome.” he reaches his hand towards you as a gesture of reassurance.

“but i’ve been sinful, in the highest degree.” you shake your head.

“god has already forgiven you.” arthur continues. “you now must forgive yourself.”

“i don’t know how. i feel as though i have violated myself, my parents, and god. i don’t know how to continue in the church if i can’t move passed this.” you make the mistake of looking up. 

arthur is looking at you sincerely. god he looked good. it made you feel disgusted with yourself. how on earth could you think that, while in church?

“it seems like to me like you might need help with this. if you were able to repent, for yourself, would that help you to move on?” it’s like he’s staring into your soul. 

“yeah. that could work. what do you think i should do?” your eyes widen.

“you need to open up more. to understand why you sinned, will help you move passed it.” arthur looks at you. “once you understand yourself, and why you know you won’t do it again, that should help you move on.” 

you nod at him. 

“can we start now? i really enjoyed your service and i hope that i can focus on it on sunday rather than myself.” you look down again.

“that is what i’m here for. so, why was god no longer a part of your life.” his head is tilted. 

“i. i’m not sure. i think it was a rebellion against my parents. a way for me to push back against authority.” you shrug. 

“that’s very good. do you realise now that god is there to help you? that this is about your relationship with the lord, rather than your parents?” he speaks with his hands, outstretched as he talks. 

“i think so.” you look at your lap. there was something else on your mind. something that left you feeling uncomfortable at the very least. 

“what else is upsetting you?” his head is askew, an eyebrow raised. 

arthur knew what else was on your mind. he wanted you to talk about it. 

he needed you to.

the way that you looked at him through your lashes. to get you to talk about your body was just what he wanted.

“i suppose my broken promise of chastity.” you are squirming under arthur’s gaze. if anything, he makes you want to break that vow of chastity again.

“right. and why did you break that promise to god?” he can’t help but lick his lips. maybe that made him sick. but he desperately wanted you to talk about sex. 

“i thought he was the one. that we would get married.” you shrugged, but there was something more.

“i see. and this was the only time?” he looked over at you. 

“well. not quite.” your cheeks flush red.

“i succumbed to pleasure, even after he left, with other men.” you’re fidgeting with your hands again. 

“and why won’t you forgive yourself for this?” arthur looks sincere.

“i guess because i still crave it.” you feel so embarrassed. “i still crave temporary pleasure when i know i shouldn’t. if i went out tonight and someone offered to take me home, i doubt i could resist the temptation.” 

“i see. well what can i do to help you get over this temptation? perhaps you could find pleasure in other things, things that aren’t as sinful.” 

“i think i would still crave it. i’ve been trying, but i can’t help myself.” you can’t even look at him. you couldn’t believe you were opening up about this, to your priest no less.

“well. you could perhaps occasionally indulge in self pleasure.” arthur taps the table.

“oh?” you finally meet his gaze, blushing profusely. “i thought that was just as bad.” 

“not quite as bad.” arthur shrugged. he was just making it up as he went along at this point. “at least you would not be giving your body to someone who didn’t deserve it.” 

“but i’ve never. i mean i don’t know how to.” again your face is bright red. 

“i see. well perhaps i could help you.” arthur started. 

“oh?” you look up at him again. there’s something else in his eyes, a glint of hunger.

“i could help you find pleasure.” 

you were about to ask if that was sinful. but how could you question a priest? surely he knew what he was doing.

or maybe you were just feigning ignorance.

“come here.” arthur says as he stands up, pushing his chair back.

you stand up walking over to him. 

“kneel.” he says and you get on your knees in front of him. “praise be.” he muttered under his breath. 

“forgive me father. for i have sinned.” you say, looking up at him, your hands pressed together. 

“it has been one week since my last confessional.” you bite your lip.

“i have been struggling with impure thoughts. thoughts about you, father.” 

arthur peers down at you, his cock growing hard in his trousers. 

“rise. for you are forgiven.” he says, helping you to your feet. 

his hands wrap around your waist. 

“how can i absolve myself from this sin father?” you tilt your head. 

“oh but this isn’t a sin at all.” he chuckles warmly. “do you trust me? as your priest?” 

his nose is mere centimetres from yours.

“of course i do.” saliva is pooling in your mouth. 

“let me guide you. pleasure isn’t always something you should be ashamed of.” his lips brush against yours as he speaks. 

you close your eyes, waiting for further contact. 

and arthur doesn’t disappoint, his lips melt into yours, kissing you deeply. 

you accept it gratefully, hungry for him. 

he brings your hips closer, pressing your body up against his own. 

you can feel his bulge pressed up against you. 

you craved anything that he could offer you. 

“let me show you.” arthur breaks up your kiss. he lifts you up onto his desk after pushing the papers to the side.

he’s pulling your shirt up over your head, exposing your bare chest.

“so sinful.” he shakes his head, looking at you. “do you even try to fight temptation?” he asks.

your nipples peak in the cool air. you don’t know why you decided not to wear a bra, maybe it was wishful thinking. 

maybe you just wanted him to look at your chest. 

well whatever it was, it seemed to have worked. 

“i’m sorry reverend.” you look up at him.

“i doubt it.” he says before taking one of your nipples in between his lips.

and he was right. you weren’t sorry. certainly not in that moment when your head was thrown back, his lips attached to you. 

“oh arthur.” you throw your head back, baring your neck to him. 

“let me set you free.” arthur says, grabbing your waist. you wrap your legs around his waist, letting him pick you up.

he takes you into his bedroom, setting you on his single bed. 

“kneel.” he says again, unbuckling his belt. 

you get on your knees in front of him, looking up at him. 

he drops his trousers, leaving him in his boxers. 

you watch as he unbuttons his shirt, revealing his toned chest. he was in such incredible shape it has you salivating.

his shirt hits the floor as your attention turns to his erection. you tongue darts out of your mouth, licking your lips. 

“eager?” he says, smiling down at you. 

you nod, watching as he drags his boxers down his thighs. 

his cock hits his stomach. 

you grab his thigh with your hand, your nails digging into his plush skin. 

you wondered if he’d ever had his dick sucked before. maybe he’d just seen it in pornos. 

maybe he was a virgin. 

you lick the underside of his cock, watching for his response. he throws his head back. 

you take his cock in your mouth. 

a groan leaves arthur’s mouth. your mouth felt amazing. it had been a long time since he’d had his cock in something other than his hand. 

your tongue runs down his shaft as you bob your head up and down. 

he can’t help but look at you. the height of sin. he had been thinking about this since he’s seen you last week. 

there was something different about you. 

he has the sudden urge to grip your hair, dictating your speed for himself. 

but he refrains, watching as you hold onto his thigh. 

he was in such amazing shape you couldn’t help yourself.

tears start to well in your eyes as you gag around him. 

without warning, he takes a step back. looking down at you.

you sit there on your knees, looking up at him, wondering what he wanted from you. 

“this is about you.” arthur says, bending over to pick you up.

he gets you to lie down on his bed. 

“what do you want?” his head is cock as his eyes rake down your body. eyes ok your chest. 

“i want you to fuck me.” you lick your lips, maintaining eye contact. 

arthur smirks, moving to undo your pants, dragging them and your panties down your legs. 

he scrambles in between your legs, leaning down to kiss your lips. 

he runs one of his slender fingers through your slick folds, finding you to be dripping wet. 

he pushes his finger into you, drawing a moan from your lips. but you wanted more.

arthur was going to give it to you.

he breaks up the kiss, lining himself up with your entrance. 

he slowly slides into you, your eyes rolling back at the contact. 

“oh god.” you whine as arthur pulls back out before pushing into you again.

he maintains a steady pace, rocking you against his single mattress. 

arthur is savouring it. this was the first time he’d had sex since joining the priesthood. he didn’t know how he’d went this long without it. without you. 

he tries hard not to cum, but it’s a losing battle. 

he makes it a few more strokes before finishing inside of you. 

“shit. sorry.” he says, emptying himself inside of you. 

“s’ok.” you look up at him. “first time?” 

“in a while.” he chuckles, slowly pulling out of you. 

he watches as his cum drips out of you. he coats his fingers in it, bringing them up for you to suck on. 

you take them into your mouth, lips wrapped around the digits seductively.

before you know it arthur is in between your legs, lapping at your pussy. 

is lips wrapped around your clit, sucking hard. 

you grab his hair, holding onto him. 

he looks up at you through his lashes, gauging your reaction. 

your eyes are tightly shut, trying to focus on the sensation. 

he eats you out like a man starved. which to be fair, he kind of was. 

he couldn’t remember the last time he’d done something like this, not that it mattered. 

he gave you more attention than your ex boyfriend ever did. 

he adds his fingers, curling them into you. 

it’s not long before he has you coming undone, finishing on his tongue. 

but arthur doesn’t stop, you grip his head trying to move him away.

“too much.” you whine, quickly finding yourself overwhelmed.

“you can give me more.” arthur says, fingers still inside of you. 

he adds a third finger, stretching you out around him. 

“please arthur. i can’t take anymore” you’re whimpering, shaking under him. 

his lips leave your skin. but he kisses your thighs. 

you’re still shaking as he takes his slender fingers out of you. 

as soon as he looks up at you, you’re hit with clarity. hard. 

you’d just had sex. with your priest. 

“shit.” you say before covering your mouth, like swearing was the worst sin you committed.

“what?” arthur titles his head, looking up at you.

“we shouldn’t have done this.” you stand up, searching for your clothes, remembering your shirt is in ten other room.

“don’t you trust me?” arthur says, still

shamelessly ogling your bare chest. 

“of course i do! but we can’t. you of all people should know that what we did was wrong.” your arms are outstretched. 

“maybe.” arthur shrugs. it’s hard for you to take him seriously while he’s still naked. “but maybe it was so so right.” he smirks.

“i have to go.” you shake your head, leaving his room to find your top in his study. 

“you’ll be back.” arthur calls to you as he puts on his boxers. 

a bit presumptuous of him. 

but you knew he was right, now that you had a taste, you would never be able to get enough. 

something about the situation. the fact that it felt so wrong. the way he looked at you. it was inevitable. 

but you leg yourself believe the lie you told yourself, that you’d never do it again.

-

you sit in the garden in your backyard, sipping a glass of water.

“how are you doing?” arthur comes out, kissing you in the forehead before reaching around you to rub your swelling belly. 

he’d switched denominations a while ago, joining another sector of the church. one where the priests don’t have to be celibate.

eventually you’d gotten married, settled down and were expecting your first child together. 

His eyes widen, his ribs feeling tight around his lungs as his breathing suddenly comes a little labored. He blinks a couple of times, as if to clear his eyesight, but he's not deceived. It's you, with a little smirk on your mouth, the red lipstick you've got on matching the color of your see-through lingerie.

It's a babydoll, complete with stockings and a garter belt, and it leaves nothing to the imagination.

Clark knows he should scroll away, just ignore the ad and pretend he never saw anything. He knows he should start practicing how to not struggle to meet your gaze the next time he sees you at the office. But he knows, above all, that he should not access the site.

His thumb is hovering over the x to close the ad when he pauses.

It's like something comes over him, an impulsive, needy drive that’s impossible to ignore, and suddenly he's tapping on the ad.

It leads him to a video of you kneeling on a bed, that red babydoll completely see-through. He can see your breasts, your nipples already hard beneath the lace. He can see the shape of your body, and his eyes follow the contour of your hips, your thighs, the outline of your pussy…

He can feel heat spreading through his lower abdomen, his cock twitching as blood rushes south. Before he knows it, he’s hard in his sweats.

And, God, he shouldn’t be. He should be better than this, better than the base instinct that flares hot under his skin.

His eyes are glued to his screen, where you’re busy making a show of picking up a pretty pink vibrator and turning it on. You lay back on the bed, dragging the buzzing item over your skin. Your breathing grows heavy, and Clark can see the goosebumps that form as the toy goes over your breasts, your chest heaving with each labored breath you take. Your free hand tugs the red lace of your bra down, exposing your tits. Clark’s heart feels like it’s stopped.

He can’t look away from your breasts as you brush the vibrator over your hard nipples that are eager for attention. Your lips part to let out a soft, sweet moan, and Clark grunts, his hard cock twitching again. He reaches down, trying to adjust himself, and instead finds out that there’s a wet spot at the front of his sweats from his precum that’s started leaking.

The feel of it embarrasses him immensely. His face heats up, from the base of his neck to the tip of his ears, and he wishes he could control his body. He wants nothing but to get rid of the hard-on, click away from the video and forget he ever saw anything.

But now, you’re spreading your legs on the screen, pushing your panties to the side, and the moment Clark sees your pussy, whatever little wisps of decency were left are forgotten. He watches, awed, as your fingers spread your folds, showing your entrance, already wet and clenching around nothing.

His blood is hot as it rushes through his ears. He can feel his heart racing in his chest, his breath coming out in hard puffs as he watches you run your fingers up your slit. You hold them right up to the camera, showing your sticky arousal on your digits.

Clark pictures what it would be like to touch you, what it would feel like if it were his fingers gathering your wetness and then tasting it…

His hand makes its way into his pants to find his hard, engorged cock standing to attention. He is struggling to behave, trying his best to force his hand out of his sweats, but the ache of desire is stronger.

He wraps his fingers around himself and squeezes, his eyes fluttering at the immediate jolt of pleasure. Through heavy eyelids, Clark watches you dip your fingers into yourself and then pull them back out, giggling and mewling sweetly.

You lift your hips off the mattress to push the flimsy lace panties off and toss them aside. You spread your legs and finally push the toy in, and Clark has to make a conscious effort to keep himself from jizzing his pants on the spot.

Your moans come loud from his phone as you gently fuck yourself with the buzzing toy. Clark’s eyes are trained on your pussy, your hole dribbling and stretched out around the vibrator. Your gorgeous cunt is squelching loudly, needily, and Clark just wishes it was him in you, fucking you slow and deep.

He matches the strokes of his hand to the rhythm you set for the toy, tempted to close his eyes and imagine himself in you, but he doesn’t want to miss the sight of your squirming, sweaty body on the screen.

“Feels so good,” your breathless voice echoes from his phone, your head lolled back as you turn up the vibrations, the steady buzz of the toy growing more audible. He watches your arousal drip around the base of the vibrator, slithering down your skin, between your asscheeks.

He can almost feel it on his cock, trickling down to his balls, and he twitches again as his thumb soothes at his leaking tip. He watches raptly as you start fucking yourself faster, harder, pulling the toy out quick only to push it in deeper with slick, obscene squelches.

The sound of it, combined with the way you’re gasping and whining, has Clark’s mind spinning.

What noises would you make if he were to fuck you? How would you sound while he tasted you? Would you cry his name or gasp it when you come?

He grunts, pushing his pants hastily down his hips before returning to jerking himself off. He squeezes his cock roughly, the thick head an angry red from how hard he is. The vein along his shaft is bulging, and a little trail of precum glistens on his skin from where it’s dribbled down his length.

“Oh, fuck. Oh, fuck. Oh, fuck,” you whine on screen, your thighs trembling. Clark feels hazy as he watches you struggle to thrust the toy now from how tight your gummy walls are clenching it.

Your curses dissolve into incoherent whines and moans as you start canting your hips against the toy. Clark watches you get closer and closer, until you inhale sharply and pause for a second…

“Oh, fuck!”

…and then you come, your beautiful body quivering, arousal glistening all over your needy cunt as you fall over the edge.

Clark just can’t look away, and he can’t stop his hand from jerking faster and squeezing tighter, until he comes too.

“Aw, shit,” he mumbles, throwing his head back against the headboard as his orgasm washes over him. Rope after rope of thick, milky cum spills onto his abdomen and hand, hot and sticky where it lands. His mind has gone completely blank, save for the image of you finding your climax with that toy stuffed in your perfect hole.

As he slowly comes down, he realizes what he’s done and quickly closes the video. He sits on his bed for a long while, feeling like shit.

What the fuck is wrong with me? Why would I watch that? Why would I get off to it? Jesus.

He tries to go about his night as he normally would, but the thought of you haunts him. The way you’d looked, the way you’d sounded…

It haunts him all night, and well into the next day. He’s barely had any sleep by the time his alarm rings. And even once he’s in the office, he can’t stop thinking about it.

He’s early for once, the bullpen just about empty, and he sits himself down at his desk, reluctant to even glance at his phone. He knows he’ll go right back to your content if he does, and the temptation is so strong…

Just one more look couldn’t hurt.

He goes back into the site and clicks on your profile, merely checking out the videos you have. He promises himself he won’t subscribe, and promises himself he won’t actually watch any of the others.

He’s so caught up in going through your profile that he basically jumps out of his skin when your voice, high-pitched with alarm, comes from right beside him as you glance over his shoulder.

“Clark, what are you doing?!”

a/n 2: sorry about the delay! life got me down and has been kicking me while i'm down, but i'm pushing through. the summer always cheers me up a little, and now that i'm on vacation, i'm doing better <3 i love you all and i hope you enjoyed this!! :)

♡ please comment and reblog my work, it means so much to me and inspires me to keep writing

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