Hips Don't Lie

182nd day of the year.

It’s 12pm.

Take Eduard von Grützner, for example. German painter back in the early 1900s. He tried a whole bunch of stuff over the course of his career, but eventually he settled into doing paintings of fat, sassy monks drinking booze.

Just tubby old priests getting plastered.

He did dozens of these things.

Today it’s literally all he’s known for.

You do your thing, Eddie. You do your thing.

Why stop at capitalism? Destroy everything.

Guys it’s been three weeks since I’ve eaten a vegetable

At least we have memes to dull the pain of existence

An AP student: Oh my god I thought seven was less than six 

(while filling the cap of their water bottle with water) SHOTS SHOTS SHOTS SHOTS SHOTS SHOTS SHOTS SHOTS SHOTS SHOTS 

friend one: If all your friends jumped off a bridge wou- friend two: probably

I’M GONNA GO HOME AND DRINK A WHOLE GLASS OF WEED

If cows ruled the world would they drink human milk?

student: my calculator is broken teacher: your calculator isn’t broken, you’re broken

no actually I think you have to be of age to be considered a cougar

(during math class on the second floor) student 1: so like how far do you think the distance is from that window to the ground?   student 2: enough

teacher: has anyone ever been to New Orleans? Student: does Popeyes count?

my word count on this paper isn’t very high but I certainly am

we’re in adult limbo. I’m not a teen and I’m not an adult. I’M SUFFERING, THAT’S WHAT I AM!