a blog for all my lil shits

𝐂𝐥𝐨𝐬𝐞𝐝 𝐬𝐭𝐚𝐫𝐭𝐞𝐫 𝐟𝐨𝐫 @smoslilguys​ 𝐉𝐚𝐬𝐨𝐧 - 𝐉𝐚𝐜𝐤𝐬𝐨𝐧

       Jason crouched over the shoebox, leaning forward onto his haunches as he rifled through the memories that laid within the box. Years of secrets, hidden, locked away in the dark under his bed. They were safe there, away from prying eyes and quizzical inquiries. Resting within his box were the reminiscence of times he rarely cared to recall. Keeping them locked away to haunt him only when he peered within. Most of what laid within the battered walls were tokens, trinkets of missions from his days as Robin, or as an Outlaw, but there was one item among the rest that he searched for. At first glance it was innocent. Nothing more than a young Jax in a cowboy hat - that of course, was until it was completely revealed as he removed it from the box. Replacing the lid, he pushed the shoebox back into its hiding spot, taking another glance at the photo. A smile revealed itself from under his sharp exterior. A blink and it was gone. Standing back up, he walked into the living room, approaching his reason for going down memory lane. “Because you asked so nicely.”  Despite the sarcasm that laced Jason’s voice, a smirk pulled at the corner of his lips as he handed the photograph to its original owner. “Don’t forget you promised to return that.” 

“Is that sarcasm I hear, Jay-bird?” Jax teased him back when he mentioned him asking nicely. His lips parted into a grin the moment he noticed Jason’s smirk, simply unable to help himself when it came to him. Reaching up and taking the picture from his hand, Jax looked it over with a grimace. He was much younger then. It came from a time before his most prominent scar had marred his skin. He’d taken a modelling gig just to get by, back when life was uncomplicated. Before his vengeful streak as the Reaper and before he had both the pleasure and aggravation of rooming with Jason Todd. “Jesus Christ, you really weren’t kidding. You still have it.” He hadn’t believed it when Jason mentioned it earlier. He thought it was just something he was joking about having. “I can’t believe you still want it back. You know, I’m much prettier now. I’d be happy to pose for a few more pics for you but you have to admit this one is terrible.” He said, still holding onto it. Pulling it closer into himself so that Jason wouldn’t be able to snatch it back. “Tell you what. I’ll return it; if, and only if, you agree to going out tonight.” He was well aware that they were keeping things on the down low again. He found himself from time to time as Jason’s dirty little secret. Tucked away like this picture was. Hidden somewhere private and precious for no one else to see. “We can sneak around. Maybe go somewhere private? I’m just going stir crazy here.”  

Bruce/Tim: 

“I’m glad to know you aren’t taking this as a big surprise” Bruce replied looking at the other “That is true I’ve been doing a lot longer than most of you so I’ve learned where to step and how to sneak up on certain people” He mused before chuckling softly, Tim sounded so much like him that it was clear why he enjoyed hanging out with him. “You are right, it’s always good to wait and see what the long game is” Bruce replied turning his gaze towards the suspects that Tim was watching. “You are right I don’t but I’ve noticed a change in my house so to speak and I want to ensure everyone is okay.” He mused looking at the people that the other was staking out “Plus I know this was the perfect location where we could talk for a moment and not automatically swing back to work.”

Tim shot him a quick smile, “I know where my limitations are.” He reminded him. When it came to the other Robins, Tim knew what he wasn’t. He wasn’t as flexible as Dick Grayson, he wasn’t a marksman like Jason Todd and he certainly didn’t have the creepy assassin skills that Damian Wayne possessed. ...but he was good at this part. He was a detective. He’d always been a strategist. And when it came to Batman... he simply didn’t have the years that Bruce had on his belt. “Sometimes I think you scare the commissioner with that just for fun.” He teased him lightly. Trying to keep himself from grinning when Bruce said that he was right. Just a little bit of praise always made him beam. Just like it had when he was still Robin. He felt a little foolish about how he reacted to praise now. “Everyone meaning mostly me? Or are the other’s over-working too?” He questioned, certain that Bruce was only really talking to him about this. “You got me there. I’m sort of stuck at this stake out and they’re not REALLY doing anything interesting.” He said. Spinning on his chair to face Bruce. “Did Steph tell you about this?” 

Dick didn’t like the look of that injury. He liked even less that Tim was wrapping it himself instead of having Alfred or anyone else do it for him. “Can I take a look at that?” He prompted, hoping Tim would agree. Dick wouldn’t force it of course but if Tim refused his worrying would increase a tenfold. That frown— something was up with Tim. Dick was sure of it, and now well, Tim wasn’t going to like his prodding but little brothers not enjoying the prodding never stopped Dick before (IE: Jason and Damian). Tim was typically more receptive. Or at least, as a tween he had been. Dick missed his tween days. He was still the same amount of secretive, he just wasn’t as skilled at it as he currently was. “Please don’t tell me the date is with a tv show, or your coffee maker. Tim, terrible jokes are my thing.” Dick teased him. At Tim’s affirmation everything was fine, Dick coughed– obviously forced and fake. “Sorry,” He began. “I’m allergic to bullshit, let’s try that again. what’s going on timbo?” 

He was nearly finished wrapping it when Dick asked if he could have a look at it. It wasn’t like Tim didn’t know this was coming. Dick didn’t just leave things be. He wasn’t the type to let someone he loved wrap their own wounds. “Sure,” He said after a long moment of thought. Unwrapping the bandages that he’d just done up to show Dick. “But only to show you how neat this stitch work is. Especially since I did it with my left hand.” He bragged, trying to keep the conversation light. The last thing he needed was a third Batfamily member trying to give him some kind of talk. The exact lecture he always got when he took things a little too far. When he finished unwrapping his wound, he lifted his arm to show his brother the long cut that he’d neatly stitched up. He shot him a lopsided smile at his words, “Unfortunately, no. Not tonight. I kinda... well-” Tim kicked his feet as he sat. “I’m making Atticus go to a Football game with me.” He said that part a little fast, as if running through it would make it easier for him to say. “I know. It’s dumb. I think neither of us are really actually into sports either. He just- he avoids me. Like the plague and I really, really need to know why. It’s bugging me.” When Dick asked him what was going on, he stopped his rambling about Atticus and frowned. “Keep sneezing because I’m not spilling. I can handle this.” 

Lois had been working in bed when she heard the brief knock on her window, and she froze, her finger suspended over the keys. She hesitated for a moment before putting her laptop aside and climbing out of bed, padding over to the window. “Yeah, I would hope so,” she said dryly, lifting her chin and folding her arms across her chest. “We’re on the 12th floor.” She sighed, her jaw setting as she took a step back. “Yes,” she said. “But be careful. The boys are asleep.” She gave him a long look. “It’s too late to wake them up,” she said. Meaning that she wasn’t going to let Clark disrupt the routine she had spent the past year guiding their sons through. Things had changed. “I missed you, too,” she said finally. Another long look, her arms tightening around herself. “It’s been a long time.”

He let in a breath through his teeth, knowing he wasn’t exactly out of hot waters yet. She wasn’t happy with him. She never really was when he was away for too long but he could hardly help it when people needed him. When he heard about the possible destruction of a planet just out of their solar system, he couldn’t live with himself without at least trying to help it. “Yeah,” He let out a short laugh. Reaching a hand through his curly dark locks. “Seems like bad news if it were anyone but me.” He tried to give her a dorky smile but it quickly faded as soon as he remembered the kind of mood she was in. When she gave him permission to come in, he gave her a nod and opened the window the rest of the way. Ducking and carefully squeezing through it. He let out a soft huff as soon as he was in and pulled the rest of his torn up cape in. Giving her a smile again despite himself before closing it back up. “I know, I can hear them... I think Jordan snores.” He joked lightly. “We should get that checked out. ...And I understand. It’s late. I wish I’d been able to get here sooner. I bet they’ve grown a lot.” He reached a hand down and lightly traced his fingers along her cheek. “I’m glad you’re alright.” 

​Normally he would have flown down and found a spot to quickly change out of his suit before he went to find Lois, but he could hardly wait a second longer. As soon as he was back on Earth, he followed the familiar sound of her heartbeat to her apartment window and gave it a brisk knock. Deciding not to wait before opening it up himself, even as he heard her foot steps as she approached the window. “Lois! Don’t worry, it’s just me.” He didn’t have the faintest idea how long it had been on Earth. Saving planets off-world always had that risk but she looked the same as she did the day that he left. Just as beautiful and angry as she’d been when he told her. “I missed you. So much.” He said to her as though it helped at all. “Can I come in?” 

𝐁𝐢𝐥𝐥𝐲 - 𝐃𝐚𝐢𝐬𝐲

         Billy stood in front of Daisy, planted against the ground unwilling to leave despite the logical side of his brain telling him that he shouldn’t be there. He had to be. It wasn’t about Camila, it was about Daisy. He had been the only one who had watched as the red head spiraled into near death, the rest of the band too high to notice the drastic changes happening right in front of them that had led to the night before. It wasn’t their fault, at least Billy didn’t blame them for being unaware. If it wasn’t for rehab he would have been the same, unable to spot the obvious signs of self destruction. Billy knew them well. He himself had been there not so long before. The memory sent a wave of discomfort through him shown in the way he rolled his shoulders, readjusting his stance to something more comfortable. 

        Billy’s eyes shifted to meet the spot where her hand had moved to rest on the bed beside her, beckoning him closer. Again his head screamed, desperate for him to retreat back into his suite where he was in no danger of crossing lines and boundaries, but he remained. His body knew what his heart desired. It was an everlasting struggle between what he wanted and what he needed. He felt himself let out a faint sigh, one that he was unaware he had been holding in as she confirmed that she was okay. Captured between his lungs and his lips had been suspense. He needed to hear her say it. To tell him that she was okay even if she wasn’t because it meant they could both be okay. He didn’t have to worry about losing her again if she doing better and even if it was a lie, he had his own prepared ready to tell her that he was okay too. That the night before had simply no effect on him as if it had never happened at all. It was a bold lie, one that he was sure she would be able to see right through if pushed. Daisy had always been able to see him in ways than no one else could from the very moment they met. It was a thrilling as it was frustrating. 

           All Daisy had to do was ask him to stay and he could no longer fight his desire to do so. “Yeah, of course.” He breathed, moving to sit down on the edge of the bed next to her. Arms length away, Billy wondered if it would be so bad to reach out and pull her into his embrace once again. “Have you eaten yet?” He asked, hoping to find an excuse to not be left alone in a room full of longing together. The urge to hold her only swelling the longer he sat in her presence, the image of her in his arms glazing over his eyes as he stared into hers. “We could go down to that diner across the street and get you some food.” 

.

She felt the weight of him shift the mattress and the familiar scent of his cologne washed over her. Would it be pathetic to bask in it a little? His presence. Where did all of that righteous rage for him go? One day it was there, burning brighter than any fire she could think to set and the next it was in a puff of smoke. Whisked away by a gentle breeze. It was as though she’d never been angry with him in the first place. Despite having every right to be. How could he tell her this was all fake? That the audience just wanted to see them in some false romance, played up in front of cameras? Like it wasn’t just them and their impossible magnetic pull. The invisible, untouchable bond they shared. He asked if she ate yet and she shrugged. 

“I’m not hungry.” She told him, even if she hadn’t eaten in a while. She wasn’t really in the mood to do anything but be there in this moment with him. He was staring into deep into her eyes like he was seeing through through her but she should have been used to that by now. She leaned a little closer to him, enough where she could feel his breath against her lips. “Billy, I should really...” Thank you. The words fell quiet as she realized how close she was to him and how stupid it was to be. He was married and he made it clear time and time again that he wasn’t interested in anything but falsities between them. She just couldn’t help but be pulled in by the way he’d been looking at her. As though he was daring her to come in closer. She swallowed the lump closing up her throat before finally falling against him. Placing her head on his shoulder. Her loose red curls falling over him like cascading waterfalls. 

Daisy’s eyes fluttered shut and she let out a sigh. “Thanks for looking out for me. You know you don’t need to.” 

𝐁𝐢𝐥𝐥𝐲 - 𝐃𝐚𝐢𝐬𝐲

           Billy had tried his best to keep the magnetizing pull of Daisy out of arms reach, just far enough away that he could admire her without putting himself in a dangerous spot. She was temptation incarnate, the universe’s most devious trick on him yet. She was a spitfire who made the world burn just the way he had imagined late at night laying beside his wife. Daisy Jones was the worst parts of Billy found in another person. She was the other half of him - and that was exactly what made him want her gone. That was before, though. Before he had almost lost her in his arms. Looking down at death, the grim reaper approaching to collect what was his - it was there in that moment, the soft sound of the breath that had once occupied Daisy’s lungs now silent, the drumming of his wildly beating heart thrashing desperately against his ribs that things had changed. He no longer wanted Daisy gone. He wanted her there with him.

          Pushing the memory away, he timidly approached the doorway of her suite. She called him out and his heart sang in response although he showed no sign of it as his eyes took in her visage. The invitation was enough to draw him into the room, despite the nagging voice in the back of his head that told him to go. He knew he shouldn’t have crossed the threshold and yet there he was doing exactly the opposite. The tension that permeated the air only grew thicker as he drew closer to the red head. Hatred had melted away leaving only desire behind. What that desire was exactly? That Billy didn’t know. He just wanted to be close. 

          “It’s not.” That much he knew to be true. “I just-” Billy stopped short, his eyes searching for the answers his tongue didn’t hold. “I just wanted to check on you. Rod said you were doing better.” 

.

He approached her slowly. Like she were a wild animal that he could scare away and all she could think to do was watch him with expecting eyes. Daisy hated the implication that came with his reaction to her. She was being treated like she was some fragile little thing. If he’d come only to ensure she wasn’t doing anything, it implied she couldn’t take care of herself. Which couldn’t be further from the truth. For as long as she could remember, she had been taking care of herself. She wasn’t so out of control that she couldn’t rein herself in. As much as she was craving another hit to try and forget about her feelings, she knew better than to take anything after the events of last night. She hated the idea alone, that he might think she would. But as he grew closer to her, and her lungs closed up with the thickness of the air- he clarified that he wasn’t worried about that. She drew out an, “Oh.” In one gentle breath. “Good.”

Daisy glanced him over, silent for a moment. Letting him explain that he just wanted to check on her and despite all her notions that she could take care of herself and that she was fine... she craved him. The arms she’d been tucked into last night. The feeling of him comforting her. She wanted nothing more than to fall into him the way she’d fallen into Karen a couple hours ago. Well, maybe not exactly like with Karen. Her connection with Billy had always felt deeper and more intimate than her connection with anyone else. It was what made their fighting so explosive and what drew her to him- like a moth to flame. She felt herself reach out to the spot on the bed beside her and patted it. Beckoning him to come and sit with her. Needing him a little closer and not having it in her to stand and force the space between them closed, herself. 

“I’m okay.” Her voice came out cracked and strained. Forcing out a lie. “But... could you sit with me for a little bit? You know... just in case I’m not.” What a foolish excuse to get him closer to her.

“Don’t just stand lurking in the doorway, Billy Dunne.” She finally announced, trying her best to cut through the thick tension with her words. Like always, she couldn’t quite manage to. There wasn’t a thing she could say to stop it. Her tongue had always been sharp but never sharp enough for that. “He’s long gone... just come in or go.” Nicky had packed his bags like she’d screamed at him to do and had been gone for a few hours now. Leaving her in the aftermath of all their wreckage. She spent a couple of hours with Karen and then the boys before slinking off to her own hotel room to be alone for a while. Maybe she should have guessed that Billy would want to check in on her. After all, it had been his arms that she’d nearly died in. Not that she remembered much. Most of it was a haze. She could only conjure up an image of Billy holding her in his arms. Like she’d ached for him to for far too long. What’s wrong with me? 

“I wasn’t doing anything. If that’s why you’re here.” 

“It’s so bloody cold out here today I don’t know how you’re just wearing that flimsy shirt.” Karen said pulling the oversized coat she wore closer to her. She involuntarily shivered. “Do you think they’ll let me bring my coat out on stage?” @smoslilguys​ 

“Come on Karen, who’s going to tell you no? We own that stage. Everyone is here because of us. Fuck wardrobe. Wear what you want.” Daisy said, giving her friend a shrug. “Besides, you look hot in that coat.” She looked hot in everything, but she was sure that she knew that. “The only reason I’m not wearing one is- well... I don’t really remember where it went. I put it down somewhere, then it grew legs and walked away. Never to be seen again.”

Kate frowned softly as Tim spoke. “Hmm,” she said. “I bet you have absolutely no idea where they are, do you?” She paused, considering. “Alfred probably knows, though. Alfred knows where everything is. I bet he knows about everything in the world.” Her eyes narrowed a little as he spoke, like she was concentrating deeply. “Yes,” she said. “Okay.” She held out her pinky in order to seal it with a pinky promise. Kate looked at him for a moment, tilting her head as she realized he was blushing. If she’d been sober, she probably could have guessed where this was heading. She knew what it was like to divulge this type of secret, after all. How heavy it felt on your tongue, how it only wanted to fall back down the well of your throat and stay buried in the pit of your stomach. The effort it took to bring it out, exertion that brought heat to your cheeks. “Oh,” she said. “So you like…” She held up two fingers. “Both? Okay. That’s cool.” She patted his shoulder, gently but clumsily. “Okay. Thank you for telling me. That’s cool too.”

“I have a couple of ideas.” He said with a shrug and a gentle laugh when she continued on about Alfred. His smile brightening with amusement. It was sweet to see how highly she thought of Alfred, especially knowing that everyone in their family shared the same sentiment. “Yeah, he’s the best.” Tim agreed, keeping her close to him as he walked with her out of the cave and towards the service elevator. A hand on her arm to steady her as the two of them walked. Telling her had been difficult and he could tell by the way her eyes softened as she gazed at him that Kate completely understood why. She should have been easy to tell, but it had been hard for him to even say it to himself. It wasn’t even that it was a shameful secret, it was more that it had been hard to admit to himself after gaslighting himself into thinking he was straight for so long. He felt a great sense of relief as soon as she patted him on the shoulder. As if she was actively pushing a few weights off of him. He nodded his head a bit. “Yeah. Uh- I guess you’re welcome. Thanks for listening... you’re only the second person I told.” He said with a soft smile. “Now you have to tell me something that’s been weighing on you.” He reminded her as they got into the elevator.

He wasn’t expecting to actually feel a little nervous about hanging out with Atticus. Sure, he hadn’t made a friend in a while or gone out with anyone in a bit but this felt more nerve wracking than dealing with Zsasz last night. He was pretty certain that Atticus only ever agreed to this because he couldn’t find a reason to say no and Tim hadn’t given him any chance to anyway. He already knew his schedule (since he kept tabs on everyone Bat-Fam adjacent) so he picked a date he knew would work for him. Pretty much forcing him into this silly scenario. A sports date when neither of them seemed particularly into sports... all because Tim selfishly wanted to get to know Atticus. Opening the door to the Red Bird, he was on his way out of the car and towards the house when he noticed Atti outside already. “Oh! Uh, hey!” He called, lifting his hand and giving him a quick wave. Instantly finding himself embarrassing but pushing through it. “I hope you don’t mind, I decided to pick you up. Since we’re going to the same spot and all...” and I wanted to make sure you didn’t bail on me. He thought the last part.