Life's a bitch until you die

We keep escaping parties to hang out with each other.

i don't trust him

"but you know me, i'm lazy, so." "i don't know that side of you at all."

"is that what we are going to do? relax?" "i hope so. i would like to relax with you. for once."

"because you like to be bad." "hey, that's not what this is. you and me. maybe it was at first but, not now, and not for a long time."

to the point where it even usurps other peoples interpretations of ilya before he gets the chance to internalize them -

"but, you hate him." "no. i mean, i get that. but no. i love him."

I am always thinking about this slow fucking hockey player with beautiful freckles. And a weak backhand. A weak backhand? Yes, very weak. And, he's so boring and he drives this terrible car! It's a normal car! I am always wishing that these women were him.