Spazz Hands

“Sucks we only have, what, four days to 100% this game? But at least we got it before you gotta go under the knife,” Spinner said as he and Tomura Shigaraki completed their purchase and walked away from the game store counter.

“That’s plenty of time as long as we pull some all-nighters,” Shigaraki replied, “Let’s stop by the convenience store and grab a couple energy drinks before we head ba- what the fuck?”

“Everybody get down, this is a robbery,” screamed a man in a ski mask and black sweatshirt. “Hand over your belongings or else!”

“Yeah, or what?” Shigaraki asked, preparing to dust the man for daring to get in the way of his gaming session with Spinner. But the man quickly fired what looked like a beam of pointed light from his finger. The last thing Shigaraki saw before being overtaken by the bright light was Spinner trying to shield him from the blow.

~

When the robbery was called in, it just so happened that a couple of students from Class 1A were in the area, and it didn’t take long for them to arrive and apprehend the prospective thief. Unfortunately, they were too late to stop him from activating his quirk on a couple of the store’s customers.

“So, we talked to the villain,” said Izuku Midoriya as he knelt down to talk to the children, “and his quirk is that he can de-age a person back by five to fifteen years. He said he used his maximum output, and since you two admitted you’re both a little over five years old as far as you know, that would mean you were originally in your early twenties. Luckily, it should only last an hour or two. Now I know you two must be confused, but we’re here to help you reunite with your families in the meantime. Do you mind telling us your names?”

“Well my name is Tenko Shimura,” answered the black-haired boy with tiny scratches around his eyes and a mole below his right lip. “I’m Shuichi Iguchi,” said the other child, hiding his reptilian face beneath long pink bangs.

“Okay that’s a good start,” said Midoriya, flashing a warm smile, “Would you like to come back with us to UA? We’ll give you a little tour while we call your folks and have them pick you up until the quirk wears off.”

“That sounds great!” Tenko exclaimed. “Hear that Shuichi? We get to possibly meet a ton of heroes and see where the best of the best train the next generation! My sister’s gonna be so jealous.”

“That does sound exciting,” Shuichi said, smiling softly.

“You two seem close for having just met ten minutes ago,” Shouto Todoroki deadpanned, “Do you somehow remember being friends?”

“No, but we were definitely friends before the quirk! This game I’ve got is in the simulation genre, which we both like a lot. Plus, we were right next to each other when we came to, so we must’ve come to the store together. I bet one of us got attacked by the villain and the other one got in the way trying to protect them, so we both got hit.”

“Wow Tenko, you’re brilliant!” praised Shuichi. “I’m lucky to have someone so smart as my friend.” Tenko flushed red as he smiled brightly at Shuichi.

Satisfied with the answer, Todoroki and Midoriya led the way to UA.

~

When they arrived at UA, the children were greeted by Ochaco Uraraka, Tenya Iida, and a few more students from Class 1A who heard about the situation. All were more than happy to help give a tour of the campus to the kids, who were excited to meet both the students learning and the teachers who were heroes on the side.

“Oh my gosh Shuichi look,” Tenko whispered, pointing at a tall, thin blond man exiting the main building, “It’s All Might.”

“Is it? That just looks like a skinny middle-aged man. How can you tell?”

“He’s as tall as All Might is, and he’s got his front hair thingies down instead of up. I’m gonna go talk to him, I’ll be right back,” Tenko said before bolting over to the man shouting, “Excuse me, Mr. All Might?”

“Yes, oh. Are you a little fan?” All Might asked the fast-approaching child.

“Yeah! My name is Tenko Shimura. My father really hates heroes, but I don’t. In fact, you’re my favorite!”

“I… what?” All Might said, dumbfounded.

“And someday, I’m gonna be a hero too, no matter what my father says. I’ve got these friends, Tomo and Mikkun, and no one played with them so they called me a hero when I did. So that’s the kind of hero I’m gonna be: a hero that helps the people who get left behind! And maybe I’ll be number one just like you!”

All Might stood there absolutely stunned, then knelt down and said, “That’s an incredibly noble goal you’ve set for yourself. I’m sure if you pursue that as best you can, then you will be a great help to all those people.”

“You really think so?”

“Of course. Will you excuse me for a moment, I just need to make a phone call to an old friend of mine.”

“Okay, and thank you All Might!”

As All Might hurriedly away, keeping his tears at bay, Shuichi ran up to Tenko. “Holy smokes! You were able to recognize All Might and talk to him? You’re smart and brave! I don’t think I’d have the courage to utter a peep in front of him.”

“Huh, why not?”

“I don’t know if he’ll be okay with me, being a heteromorph and all.”

“Well maybe if he comes back, I’ll ask him to give you an autograph, and if he doesn’t then I’ll kick him in the shin as hard as I can.”

“You’d kick All Might for not liking me?”

“I’d kick anyone for not liking you. You’re my friend!”

Hearing that warmed Midoriya’s heart. After all, if this was how he was acting at age five, then Tenko must’ve grown up to be quite the compassionate man, maybe even became a hero himself.

~

About an hour had passed, and Shuichi and Tenko had met many of the teachers and had seen most of the grounds. However, it became clear to at least one of the students that the children had more of an interest in each other than the school they were touring. Mina Ashido had caught Shuichi sneaking glances at Tenko whenever he could, and Tenko in return stayed as physically close to Shuichi as possible, and kept trying to impress him with facts he knew about apparently anything he could think of.

“Wow, you sure are putting on the charm with that fun fact about aye-ayes,” Ashido told Tenko while Shuichi was being shown the entrance to Ground Beta.

“I read about it in my sister’s book about endangered animals once. Hopefully Shuichi thought it was awesome.”

“You don’t want him to just like you, huh. You want him to like like you don’t you.”

Tenko sputtered for a few seconds but conceded. “I mean, look at him,” Tenko said exasperatedly, “He’s got rosy eyes and cherry blossom hair. Also, his scales shine all rainbowy when the sun hits them right, and they’re also cool so when my face gets itchy and hot and I press my face to his it feels soothing. And he likes video games, and he listens to me, and he’s got a pretty smile, and he thinks I’m amazing. He’s the sweetest and most beautiful boy in the whole world. How do you not get a crush on someone like that?”

“You know what, when you put it that way, you’re right,” Ashido placated, “So do you want to be his boyfriend?”

“Well, I think it would be nice. I do have to tell him soon because that’s something he should know, he deserves to know he’s so great. But I’m too little to know what to do now. And what if I chicken out when the quirk wears off and I get back to my normal age?”

“Don’t worry, just let me work my magic.” She whispered deviously, before turning to the other kid and shouting, “Hey Shuichi, besides being friends before the quirk, have you considered you two may have been boyfriends?”

“Ashido!”

“What?! I mean- that can’t be right,” Shuichi cried, hiding his face in his hands with embarrassment and shame, “I’m too ugly and unkissable to have a boyfriend!”

“No you’re not, and I can prove it!” Tenko proclaimed, then he rushed over, grabbed Shuichi, and planted the biggest kiss a five-year-old could muster on his lips.

“Wow, what a first kiss!” Tenko said dazedly as he pulled back.

“Why would you do that?! You just wasted your first kiss on me!”

“I just had my first kiss with the prettiest boy I’ve ever seen! How is that a waste?”

Shuichi fell silent and his cheeks turned bright pink in spite of his green scales.

“Look this is gonna sound weird,” he bashfully admitted, “but I kinda want to bite your head and lock my jaw in place so I never get separated from you.”

“Cool,” Tenko answered, “and you make me want to throw up but without the feeling like absolute garbage part, and I also maybe wanna squeeze you until you pop.”

“Wow, thankies,” Spinner said, as he shyly held his hand out for Tenko to take, which he gladly did with a grin.

“My work here is done,” Ashido declared as she wandered off to brag about her match-making skills to Denki Kaminari.

~

With Ground Beta explored, the tour was over and now all the kids had to do was wait for their families to come grab them.

“I don’t understand,” Iida whispered to the others, out of range of the children. “I tried calling the Iguchi family, but when I mentioned it concerned Shuichi, the hung up and wouldn’t take my calls!”

“Maybe the family just sucks,” said Katsuki Bakugou.

“Better than my results at least,” said Midoriya, “I couldn’t find a single Shimura family missing anyone named Tenko! Oh, is that Gran Torino coming this way?”

It was, in fact, Gran Torino arriving at UA. Midoriya ran out to greet him, but Torino shot past him… aiming directly for Tenko.

Torino bulldozed into Tenko at a great speed, knocking the boy off of his feet, along with Shuichi who was still holding his hand.

“Get off of me,” Tenko shouted, biting and kicking at anything within range, and both gnawing on Gran Torino’s hand and kneeing him in the balls as a consequence. Torino was having none of it, and finally got Tenko trapped underneath his boot.

“Torino what are you doing?” yelled Midoriya, “That’s a child!”

“That all you got? My father beats me harder than you,” Tenko screamed, squirming as hard as he could from under Gran Torino’s boot.

“What the- Nice try kid but I’m not letting you go,” the older hero recovered, squeezing his boot harder on Tenko’s stomach as he turned to the other child.

“I know your friend might be harder to recognize, but how in the heck did no one catch that you’re part of the League of Villains? You stay right there, lizard!”

“The League of Villains?!” Bakugou shouted, suddenly understanding what Torino meant.

“Don’t you touch him!” Tenko yelled grabbing onto Torino’s boot… which turned into dust. Gran Torino attempted to jet away, but with one of his boots lost to the wind, he over compensated and shot himself into the side of the dormitories. The confusion gave the two five-year-olds just enough time to run into Ground Beta and hide.

“What was he talking about?” Tenko hissed, “Calling us villains, we’re five-year-olds! I’m not thinking about world domination, are you?”

“Not really,” Spinner muttered, “though I’d like it if I didn’t have to worry about being sprayed by pesticides every time I left the house.”

“Don’t worry, when I grow up, I’ll make sure you never have to deal with people like that ever again. I’ll be your hero.”

“You really will?”

“Sure, we just need to get out of here first."

“Well,” Shuichi pondered, “you’ve got a quirk that turns things to dust now, so maybe we can destabilize the buildings as a cover? Wait no, they’ll fall on top of us and give away our location.”

“Wait Shuichi, that’s actually a good idea!” Tenko gleamed, “I can destroy a corner of each of the buildings around here so they fall over in random directions, but slowly enough that they don’t fall until we’re a good distance away, then when they fall down everyone will run toward them while we cross the street into further cover.”

“So smart!”

“Please it was your idea,” Tenko said as he began decaying the buildings closets to him. When he figured he had done enough, the two ran further into Ground Beta, but closer to the street, ad waited for the buildings to collapse. The plan worked, and they were able to cross over as the students and one very mad Gran Torino raced into the fray of the falling city structures.

When they stopped to catch their breath, Shuichi realized he was taller and that Tenko now had gray hair. “Hey, did we just age up?”

“Well seeing as I can recall everything up to age ten, I’d say so.”

“Are you okay? You’re not looking so good.”

“I got memories back that are… traumatizing to say the least.”

“Do you need a minute?”

“We don’t have a minute. We need a vantage point, a way to see the exit so we can plan our breakou-”

*Beep beep*

The two ten-year-olds startled as a phone went off, and Shuichi reached into his pocket to find a message displayed on his phone screen.

‘Van parked outside UA gate. Get over here.’

“Well, there’s our end goal,” Shuichi said, “and I bet I can get a better view at the top of this building. Here, get on my back and I’ll use my quirk to climb us up! Take your time resting and do some deep breaths, I’ll do the heavy-lifting”

Tomura carefully held on, not wanting to decay his friend? boyfriend? partner as he trekked up the shadowed side of the office, and took Shuichi’s advice to breathe deeply in an attempt to calm down.

Once they reached the roof, they could see the gate off to the south, and a wall that stretched outwards from that gate bordering Ground Beta.

“Okay, so what’s next?” asked Shuichi, huddled next to Tomura as he finally soothed himself back to sanity.

“Now we’ve gotta get to that wall. Once we get there, we can dust ourselves out and run along the side of it until we get to the gate and the mystery van. I’m just not sure if we can parkour effectively with these short and stubby limbs.”

Suddenly, the kids shot up like bean sprouts, becoming lanky and more agile 15-year-olds.

“Will these limbs do? Are you alright?”

“They’ll do fine and I’m fine,” replied Tomura, “Let’s do this.”

Over the roofs and walls they leaped, and with only a couple close calls they managed to reach the end of the buildings, climb back down with Shuichi’s help, and make it to the border. But as Tomura began to decay the wall, he heard a startled cry from Shuichi. Turning quickly, he found Shuichi pinned on his stomach with a pissed off Bakugou shoving his face into the dirt.

“Who’s the hostage now, huh?” he gloated, until he felt an adult hand grip his neck with only four fingers.

“Still you apparently,” said Tomura Shigaraki, returned to his current age. As he yanked Bakugou away, Spinner reverted to his regular self too.

“Spinner, you okay?”

“I’ll live. Let’s get moving, you focus on keeping the hero in your grasp, I’ll disarm him for when we get in the van.”

They moved as quickly as they could, with Bakugou trying his best to stall them. By the time they found the suspicious white van, Spinner had tossed one arm grenade into the woods and held the second in his hands. The back doors opened and Dabi popped out yelling, “Let’s go already! All this over a video game, I can’t believe you guys!”

The two villains tossed Bakugou towards the gate and hopped into the van, nearly falling back out as it peeled out of the vicinity of UA.

“Why’d you toss him?” Spinner asked.

“Because the rest of the students are gonna be more concerned with their friend being okay than with us getting away. Ah shit.”

Spinner glanced back as Bakugou had evidently wanted another round and was blasting towards the van with his quirk. And it looked like he was going to reach the back of the van…

Until Spinner slid in front of Shigaraki, aimed the remaining gauntlet, and fired at point blank range into Bakugou’s face.

“That will give the students something to check on!”

“That was quite the fucking timed event!” Shigaraki rejoiced.

“Hell yeah! And there’s only one more thing we need to 100% this level. Please tell me you have the copy we bought.”

Shigaraki stared at Spinner, then grinned maniacally as he slowly pulled out the game from his trench coat pocket.

“Whoo-hoo,” Spinner cried excitedly as he jumped into Shigaraki’s arms. Shigaraki swung him around before setting back down as they made their way to the van seats for the ride back to the mansion.

“What a weird side quest huh?” Spinner sighed.

“I guess,” Shigaraki agreed, “but we did unlock the especially rare romance route. Do you still wanna bite my head?”

Giggling, Spinner replied, “Yeah, as long as you still wanna throw up but in a good way with our proximity.”

Smiling, Shigaraki slid one of his pinky fingers around Spinner’s, who returned the gesture and gave him a peck on the cheek.

“Whoa, poggers… oh no that’s way worse than ‘wow thankies’.”