Smoljimjim

Another suggestion is made thanks to Rosé. She suggests her boyfriend, Bruno, to help as he's a fisherman and has a boat—a proper one too, not just something small for short trips. He works out at sea, knows the routes, and knows how to navigate safely. If anyone can get Siri where she needs to go without drawing attention or requiring paperwork, it’ll be him. 

“I’m coming with you,” Taehyung tells Siri.

She looks at him from across the dining table with furrowed brows of uncertainty. “Tae… you don’t have to do that, plus you have the farm to take care of.”

He shakes his head, “Jisoo can manage the farming staff, and the guys already know what they’re doing anyway. And besides, I’m the one who found you. I was there since the beginning of you being here, and I wanna be there at the end, too. Plus, I need to know you’ll get there safely. Wanna make sure no one kidnaps you or anything like that on the way there.”

Siri’s heart melts, and she giggles at Tae’s last line since he was obviously trying to make light of the sad situation. She also understands Taehyung’s need to ensure she gets home safely. If roles were reversed, she would want to do the same for him.

What Siri didn’t know though, was that in the back of Taehyung’s mind, there was another reason he wanted to go with her… He wants to see her husband in person and see the man he’s losing her to.

It takes a couple days for Bruno to organise his boat and map out the route he’ll take, but when the day comes and all is ready to go, Siri isn’t ready—not for this part, anyway. She knows she needs to go home, but nothing could prepare her for the pain she feels when it’s time to say goodbye to Jisoo and Rosé.

To Siri, the feeling is similar to when she broke up with Jungkook all those years ago, which was one of the worst feelings she’s ever felt in her life. Her chest just feels heavy and achy at the same time, and her stomach literally feels like it’s twisting.

Jisoo stands in front of Siri with her arms wrapped tightly around her. “I’m going to miss you,” she murmurs into her shoulder.

Siri squeezes her tighter as her eyes sting and prickle with tears. “I’m going to miss you too.”

Rosé is next to them, and she doesn’t even try to hide her tears as she wraps her arms around Siri as well. “This sucks, babes,” she mumbles.

Siri lets out a small, tearful chuckle, hugging her back just as tightly. “Yeah, it does. I’m sorry.”

“Don’t be. You just better text us when you get there, okay? Like straight away. I don’t care what time it is.”

“I will,” Siri promises tearily as she tries to smile.

“Good.” Rosé nods, sniffling a little as she smiles back. 

There’s a moment where the three of them look at one another softly, then Siri reaches out and takes both of their hands, squeezing them gently. “Thank you, you two, for everything. For taking care of me and being my besties when I didn’t know who I was.”

“No need to thank us,” Jisoo replies, squeezing her hand back. “Just make sure to call us sometimes. Don’t disappear on us.”

Siri nods quickly. “For sure I’ll call. And I’ll come visit you guys again. I won’t disappear, I promise.”

The three girls do a group hug for the final time, and when Siri is finally on the boat, waving goodbye to Jisoo and Rosé as it sails away, she tells herself she’s going to keep the promise she made to them. She won’t disappear from anyone who matters to her ever again. 

__________________________________________

It takes four days for Bruno’s boat to get Siri back home. Each day they were getting closer, anxiety and nervousness coursed through both Siri and Taehyung’s veins. 

When they finally arrive at the docks, the first thing Siri does is message Jisoo and Rosé, telling them they arrived safely, and then she orders an Uber. Beside her, Taehyung stands quietly and looks around at all the people moving about, feeling a little out of place.

Siri catches him looking around and smiles. “Pretty different from home, huh?”

Taehyung glances at her with a small nervous smile. “Yeah.”

She chuckles and bumps his shoulder. “Don’t worry. The city life and suburbs aren’t too scary.”

He huffs out a small laugh, but his eyes wander back to everything around him.

Not long later, the Uber arrives and the first place Siri tells the driver to go to… “D&J Enterprises, please.”

It’s just after lunchtime, and if she’s right… Jungkook should be at work.

After about 35 minutes of driving, the Uber pulls up infront of the towering glass building, and that’s when Siri and Taehyung’s nerves go haywire again. Siri is more so excited to see her friends and Jungkook again. Even just thinking his name makes her feel giddy.

Next to her however, Taehyung’s feelings are much more complicated. Part of him is genuinely curious to meet the man Siri loves, but he’s also dreading their meeting. 

Staring up at the building, Tae could already feel the difference between him and Siri’s husband. The building in front of them was enormous and sleek, and there were people in expensive suits moving confidently in and out through the entrance. It looked like a powerful place, and it made Taehyung feel self-conscious and small.

Before they even set sail to bring Siri back home, Tae had done his own research. He remembered reading that Jungkook’s fixation with finding Siri had caused damage to their company, and that profits and stocks had suffered because he refused to stop searching for her. 

Tae didn’t want to admit it, but he was impressed (and a little jealous) that the guy poured that amount of effort into searching for Siri. It really showed how much Jungkook loved her. 

But clearly, her husband’s efforts hadn’t been enough to truly destroy their company since it was still strong enough to own a place like this, and it was still filled with staff and security, and it obviously still had some form of wealth that Taehyung couldn’t even begin to relate to.

And yet here he is… Just a farm boy from a small town…

How the heck was he supposed to compete with someone like that? Someone rich, powerful, successful, and worst of all, someone Siri had loved basically her entire life?

Taehyung’s thoughts had to be put on the back burner for now unfortunately, because it was time for him and Siri to go inside. 

When they get out of the Uber, Taehyung looks around again at the people rushing past on the busy sidewalk where it made him feel more nervous than before. 

"Siri… Stay close to me, please.”

Her expression softens on him as she goes, "Aww, are you worried you might get lost?"

Taehyung glances around once more before looking back at her with a nervous smile. "Yeah. Something like that."

"You'll be fine," Siri laughs. She then loops her arm through his and wraps her hand around his bicep. "There. Now we won’t lose each other."

The tension in Taehyung's shoulders eases slightly and he gives a small nod. "Thanks."

The two walk, rolling their suitcases into the building together, and as soon as the glass doors slide open, cool air rushes over them. Inside, the ground floor is spacious but bustling with people everywhere. Some people carried coffees and laptops, while others chatted amongst themselves as they headed toward what looked like a large cafeteria connected to one side of the lobby.

As Siri moves forward, knowing exactly where to go to find the elevators, she and Taehyung get a few odd and curious looks since they were rolling suitcases behind them. No one seemed to recognise Siri though—or if anyone did, they didn’t think it could actually be thee Serena Jeon since she’s supposed to be dead. 

When they reach the elevators and step inside, Siri presses the button for the second-to-last floor level. 

Taehyung notices, and he raises an eyebrow at her. “Not the top floor?”

She shakes her head slightly with a small smile. “No, you need access to get up there, and I don’t have my key card anymore. We’ll have to go through my friends Jin or Hobi first.”

It takes some time for the elevator to reach the second-to-last floor level, but it eventually gets there. When the ding sounds and the doors open, Siri notices straight away how the reception area looks exactly the same, although right at the front desk, there’s a new face she didn’t recognise. 

The blondish-cottoncandy-like male receptionist is on a phone call as Siri and Taehyung walk in. He has one hand on the phone headset, pushing the earpiece into his ear while his other hand quickly writes down notes.

The receptionist already knows that a woman and a man are walking towards him since he heard the elevator ding and he very briefly glanced its way when the door opened, so he’s hastily trying to finish the phone call. 

“Okay,” the receptionist says to whoever he’s speaking to, “yep, got it—actually no wait! Repeat that for me one more time… Mhm… Mhmm… And is that Steven with a V or a PH?... Ahh, okay, cool cool.” 

Both Siri and Taehyung glance at one another with confused grins, thinking how weirdly unprofessional the receptionist’s tone is.

“And you said a dozen?” the receptionist continues his phone call. “Wait, a dozen means twelve, right?... Oh, good I got something right for once!”

Siri and Taehyung both curl their lips inwards to stop from laughing. To them, the receptionist sounded sort of… dumb?…

“Okay, I’ll let Mr Kim Seokjin know,” the receptionist says into the headset, nodding to himself as if the other person can see him. “Alright. Thank you, byyye!”

The man presses a button to end the call, looks at Siri and Tae’s way with a big eye smile, and starts to stand as he says, “Welcome to D an—hnnngh!” he yelps just as he’s abruptly yanked back down into his seat by the headset still hooked over his ear. 

Siri and Taehyung couldn’t help but giggle as they watch the guy quickly reach up and fumble with the headset, tugging it off with a reddening flustered expression while saying, “Ow—shit—okay—hold on—”

He manages to place the headset on the desk, then he smooths his nice grey suit jacket as he stands up straight, clears his throat, and then he smiles widely as if the last few seconds never happened. He was totally smooth like buttah. 

“Good afternoon!” he greets cheerily. “My name is Jimin, welcome to D&J Enterprises!”

Siri chuckles again, feeling slight secondhand embarrassment for the guy. She had a sense he must be freshly new with the company because surely nobody who has worked in the building for long enough would forget that the headset could literally be cordless and disconnected before standing up.

“Good afternoon,” she replies with an amused smile. She glances down at the receptionist’s name tag and sees Jimin also has ‘assistant’ on it too. “Have you just started working here, Jimin?”

“Nope! Just over four months now!” he answers proudly.

Both Siri and Taehyung’s eyebrows shoot up at that. The guy has been here for four months already? That means this wasn’t his first-day nerves or a rough first week on the job… It means the guy is really just a ditz and a klutz… 

And the fact he looked genuinely proud of himself?? That was the part that really made Siri and Tae speechless. Siri even has a small thought wondering why Hobi would’ve kept this guy working here since he’s the head of human resources. 

“So!” Jimin slips back into job mode. “How can I help you two? Do you have an appointment with anyone here?”

“Uh, no,” Siri says gently. “But can you tell Jin and Hobi that Siri is here?”

Jimin stills for a split second as he was surprised this woman knew his bosses nicknames. Most people who came through this floor referred to them properly as Mr Kim Seokjin or Mr Jung Hoseok. Nobody casually called them Jin and Hobi. And Jimin only knew ‘Hobi’ was Mr Jung’s nickname because he’s heard Mr Kim and Mr Jeon call him that.

Jimin figures the woman must be close to his bosses, so he quickly says, “One moment please,” then takes the phone to his ear and presses one of their direct lines.

Straight away the line clicks through, and the first thing Jimin hears is a deep sigh. 

“Jimin," Jin says to him, already sounding tired and a little done. "Please don’t tell me you need me to come out there and show you how to scan paperwork into the computer again.” 

The receptionist lets out a small, sheepish chuckle, glancing briefly at Siri and the man next to her. 

“Uh no, sir,” he says quickly. “I’ve got that one down now… Mostly…”

Jin sighs again on the other end. “So what is it then?”

“Well, sir… A woman is here, and she asked me to tell you that Siri is here.”

There’s silence for a long second, and Jimin wonders if the line got cut. “Uhh… Sir?”

“…W-What did you just say?” Jin finally says, sounding shocked and confused.

“A woman named Siri is—”

But before Jimin could continue his sentence, a door behind his desk opens, and out comes Mr Jung with his eyes on a bunch of forms in his hands.

“Hey, Jimin-ah, I need you to photocopy thee–eese—AHHHHH!!” Hoseok screams as he throws the papers in the air from being completely shocked.

He freezes in his spot with his eyes wide and his hand clutching his panic-heaving chest, all while the papers he threw fly around him before they land scattered all over the floor.

Siri giggles at Hoseok’s reaction, but all he could do was blink repeatedly and stare at her with disbelief with his jaw dropped.

“Hey, Hobi,” she says softly with a warm smile. “Missed me?”

“J-JIN-HYUUUNG!!!” Hobi shouts suddenly with his voice cracking a little. “COME QUICK! LIKE RIGHT NEOW NOW!” 

Hoseok’s eyes start to brim with tears as he gulps. He doesn’t know if it’s just the amount of caffeine he’s had today, or maybe it was the new vape he tried out earlier causing him to hallucinate his dead best friend, but he’s well and truly freaking the fuck out right now. 

Jimin nearly drops the phone since the shout startled him, but on the other end, Mr Kim has already hung up after hearing Jimin say the name ‘Siri’ for the second time.

Fast and urgent footsteps could be heard coming down the hall, and rounding the corner comes Jin.

He stops dead in his tracks as soon as he sees the woman standing by the reception desk, and his face pales as if he’s just seen a ghost, because to him, she’s meant to be.

Silence takes over the entire reception area where Jimin slowly and carefully lowers the phone while his eyes dart between his two spooked out bosses and the woman standing between them. Taehyung just feels like he’s watching a movie, finding everyone’s reaction weird and interesting.

Hoseok doesn’t move. Jin doesn’t move. Neither of them even seems to breathe. They just stare with awe and disbelief because this woman shouldn’t be here. She’s meant to be dead… Isn’t she?

“Y-You see what I see, right, hyung?” Hoseok finally says. 

“Yeah… I think so,” Jin nods slowly, his eyes never leaving the familiar looking brunette with blue eyes. He takes careful steps forward, slowly moving closer to her as if moving too fast might scare her away.

Siri fully turns her body to face Jin, chuckling at his reaction as well. “Hey, Jinnie. Did ya miss me too?”

His breath hitches and tears well within seconds at the sound of her voice. A voice he’s missed for two and a half years. 

“S-Siri?” he murmurs softly with his heart pounding so hard. “It’s actually you?”

She nods and her smile widens. “Yep, it’s me. In the flesh!”

Jin takes a shaky breath in before he takes the fastest steps he’s ever done to pull Siri into a tight embrace. The second he feels her warmth against him, tears slip down his cheeks.

“Siri…” he breathes out.

Hoseok doesn’t hesitate after that. He rushes forward, wrapping his arms behind Siri, clinging to her like a squirrel would cling to an acorn. “I can’t believe you’re back,” he chokes out. 

Siri laughs softly through her own happy tears, trying to hug them both. “Yeah, I’m back. And I’m here to stay this time.”

The two men pull back from the hug to look at her and those blue eyes they’ve missed, but they each keep their hands on Siri in some way, holding her hands and shoulders, as if touching her is proof she’s actually here and alive.

“Where the hell have you been?” Jin asks her with a sniffle. “We all thought you died from the plane crash.”

Siri smiles apologetically to both of them. “I was in a coma for a few months after the incident, and when I woke up I didn’t have any memories.”

“Are you for real??” Hobi says with disbelief. “Like, no memories at all?”

“Yep, none. Couldn’t even remember my own name or how old I was. Literally nothing.”

“Damn, that’s…” Hobi tries to find the right words, but really there was only one way to describe it. “That’s really shit luck.”

“Yeah, I know,” Siri nods. “It was only a week ago that I fully remembered everything, and as soon as that happened, I had to find my way back home. Back to here, to you guys, and to Jungkook. And here I am finally.”

Jin and Hoseok melt from hearing that Siri tried to come home as soon as she got her memories back, but both their chests get a pinch at hearing the golden maknae’s name and seeing how Siri looked at them with sparkly hopeful eyes. 

“Kookie’s here, right?” she asks them. “I wanna go up and see him.”

Jin and Hobi exchange a quick glance, and with apologetic eyes, Jin says, “Kook is here, but Siri… There’s something you need to kn—”

Ding!  The elevator goes off, catching everyone’s attention. 

As soon as the doors open, a tall, dark haired, doe-eyed brooding man dressed formally in a silvery grey suit and tie comes out with his eyes right on the reception desk since that’s why he came here.

The man, who’s had a constant frown on his face for the last few months, heads straight towards the receptionist, and starts to say, “Hey Jimin, don’t let J—”

But the man completely freezes up and can't finish the rest of his sentence because of what he sees to the side in front of him. Or more like who he sees. 

His dark doe eyes take in his two hyungs standing close to a woman who looks scarily similar to the love of his life. 

What the fuck… That’s… No… That’s not… It can’t be her…

As his brain tries to process the scene, his heart is already jumping erratically to the point it wants to break out of his chest and settle in the woman’s chest. It wants to be with its other half, but his body is still frozen in place since this just doesn’t make any sense to him. 

Siri, too excited to contain herself at finally seeing her husband again, smiles widely with tears in her eyes as she runs straight for him with her arms out. 

“Kookieee!” she cries out with delight, practically jumping into him where she hugs him tight and nuzzles into his chest, already trying to take in his scent and cologne since she’s missed him so much.

Jungkook stands there with his heart pounding a million beats per second, looking down at the brunette’s head all stunned, scared, confused, and in complete disbelief. His hands hover over her back, unsure if he should be reciprocating the hug because his brain still hasn’t processed everything. 

But hearing her call him ‘Kookie’ and with her looking and sounding exactly like his wife and bestest friend, Jungkook starts to think…

Siri?

This is her?... She’s actually here?... She’s alive… And she’s holding me right now?...

His heart drums so hard he could hear it in his ears, and his eyes go wide at the thought that this could really be her. To help him be sure, Jungkook looks to Jin and Hobi to see if this is real. His hyungs smile awkwardly and nod at him, telling him that yes, this is real. It’s really her.

“I’ve missed you so much, Kookie,” Siri mumbles into his chest while her arms tighten around him. “I’m so sorry it took me so long to come back to you, but I’m here now. I’m back, and I won’t ever leave you again, I swear!”

Jungkook’s breath is suddenly taken away and his eyes instantly water. Hearing her call him Kookie again, feeling her nuzzle into him the way she used to, and feeling her warmth against his body after spending two and a half years believing he may never hold her again… it sends a rush of emotions through Jungkook that his knees nearly give out, and he didn’t know whether to break apart or burst out with joy.

“Siri…” he murmurs her name, as if saying it aloud will help him accept that this is real and is actually happening. 

When she hears her name, Siri looks up at Jungkook with a sweet, teary smile while resting her chin on his chest cutely, wanting to have no space between them. Her red rimmed blue eyes sparkle like a crystal blue lake, so happy to see him. “It’s me, Kookie. I’m here.”

That gets to him, those eyes of hers. Jungkook has spent the last couple of years searching for those eyes in photographs and in every stranger he comes across. He’s seen them in his dreams so many times, but now those blue eyes are right here, looking directly at him, filled with the same love they’ve always held for him.

Jungkook’s heart practically leaps and bangs hard against his chest, begging and fighting to be in the depths of her.

So he lets his heart take control.

Jungkook envelops Siri without another thought, and smashes his lips with hers, kissing her so hard and deeply as hot tears fall fast down his cheeks.

Feeling her warm, soft lips against his, it made Jungkook think, oh my god, this is actually happening! She’s really here! 

Siri melts into him and kisses him back with the same fervour. God she’s missed his lips. She doesn’t want to stop this at all. She wants to kiss Jungkook as much as she can to make up for all the time they lost, and she knows he would feel the same.

But then Jungkook suddenly lets out a broken sob against her mouth, and it breaks Siri’s heart hearing that shattering sound come from him. 

“You’re actually here,” he croaks through his tears, dropping his face into the crook of her neck, hugging her so tight as if he physically couldn’t handle even an inch of distance between them anymore. “You’re really, truly here.”

Jungkook wasn’t just in disbelief. He feels a relief so intense, it’s like a weight has been lifted off him. But stronger than the disbelief and relief, is love.

Jungkook feels a love so overwhelming and all-consuming that not even time, distance, or loss has managed to weaken it. Even after two and a half years apart, and even after believing Siri would be gone forever, his heart still belongs entirely to her.

His best friend. His wife. The only woman he’s ever loved. And she’s finally back in his arms.

The range of emotions swirling within Jungkook were just too big for him to contain, and he completely breaks down, crying harder than he has done in years as everything he buried inside himself comes pouring out. The pain of losing Siri. The endless frustration of never being able to find her. The exhaustion that comes from carrying the anger, the guilt, the grief, and the hopelessness he tried so hard to suppress every single day. It all unravelled through his tears and sobs.

Siri just holds him, understanding why he’s crying this way, and it makes her cry more too because she just can’t imagine how deep Jungkook’s pain goes. She feels guilty and hates herself for unintentionally causing him this much hurt.

“Shh, shh, it’s alright. I’m here, Koo, I’m here,” she coos at him as her hands rub gently over his back. 

To those watching, the moment feels bittersweet. 

While Jimin thinks the scene in front of him is lovely, he’s also majorly confused with why the CEO kissed this woman and is now bawling like a baby. Never in his life did he ever think he’d see the grumpy CEO cry like this. And to add to that, Jimin’s also a little sour because he now has a bunch of paperwork on the floor to pick up thanks to Mr Jung’s jump scare. 

Taehyung, while he didn’t want to lose Siri, he feels appeased to know that the man he’s losing her to clearly loves her more than anything going by his emotional crying. 

And Jin and Hoseok… They love that their two maknaes are reunited, and of course they love the fact that Siri is back, however… they know that her being back is going to cause some serious problems…

When it seems Jungkook’s crying has settled down a bit, he pulls away from Siri’s neck and their hug to cup her face, his thumbs caressing her wet cheeks as he pouts and his lower lip quivers. “I thought I lost you. Thought I’d never see you again.”

Siri places her hands on his wrists tenderly, giving him a soft, sad smile. “You could never lose me. I’m super sorry I took so long.”

Jungkook shakes his head and tearily smiles, “Doesn’t matter now. You’re here, and—”

“Uh sorry, but Mr Jeon, sir?” Jimin cuts him off as politely as he can.

Everyone looks at the receptionist where they see him standing at his desk looking very apologetic about interrupting.

“Jimin,” Jin says firmly while frowning at him, “can’t this wait? You can obviously see this is a very important moment for them.”

Jimin scratches the side of neck awkwardly, “Well yeah, but a notification came up on the computer and I thought Mr Jeon would want to know about this straight away…”

Jungkook clears his throat and sniffles, but he doesn’t move from his position with Siri. “What is it, Jimin?”

The receptionist glances at Siri uneasily before he looks at Jungkook again with even more unease. “Well uh… Your wife just arrived and is making her way up…”

Four hearts drop instantly hearing that, but one drops especially low. So low, he wants the ground to swallow him up and make him disappear.

Siri furrows her brows and looks at Jungkook with nothing but total confusion. “Your wife?... But I am your wife…”

Jungkook gulps and is speechless for a moment because he had forgotten about this one very important detail. He was just so stunned and overwhelmed with seeing Siri again that he forgot the reason why he came down to talk to Jimin in the first place… To tell him to not let his wife up to his floor level as he didn’t want to deal with her again.

Jungkook’s heart rate spikes and guilt swirls within him when Siri pulls his hands away from her face, turning his left one over to find a certain band on his ring finger. He starts to tear up all over again because he knows she’s not going to like what she sees.

And he’s right. The look on Siri’s face when she finds it’s not their matching gold daisy-chain band on his finger, but a plain white gold band instead, it absolutely guts Jungkook. He feels like someone has slashed open his stomach and chest and just ripped all his insides out.

“Y-you remarried…” Siri says that as a statement, not as a question, because this ring is definitely not their ring. It’s not the one she put on his finger. Someone else put this ring on his finger.

At that realisation, Siri snaps her hands and herself away from Jungkook, taking a step back to look at him like he was a stranger she didn’t want to get close to.

Jungkook’s heart drops again, as do his tears. 

“N-No—wait—baby,” he stammers as he reaches for her again, his hands desperately trying to grasp for hers as he’s not ready and not willing to let her go. “J-Just let me explain, please!”

Siri’s chest hurts so bad, it feels like someone had placed a piping hot iron ball right on her chest, making it hard for her to breathe. She’s torn with how she wants Jungkook to hold her again, but she also feels like she needs to get away from him because he’s not hers anymore. 

She shakes her head in denial as new tears start to fall again, but then everyone hears a Ding!

All heads turn to the elevator, and this time, a woman in red with dark long hair steps out. Siri's eyes widen instantly since she knows who it is.

“Jennie?” Siri murmurs the name lowly, feeling so puzzled. Why is she here? She has no reason to be since she doesn’t even work with us.

“Oh, Jungkookie!” Jennie chirps, only being able to see his backside while having a partial view of a brunette near him. “You’re already here for me!” 

Siri furrows her eyebrows as her confusion deepens. Why would she say something like that? Why would Jungkook be here for her?

“Uh, hel-looo?” Jennie says sassily when Jungkook doesn’t turn to look at her, clearly too focused on the woman standing in front of him—which Jennie did not like at all as she thinks his focus should be on her.

With a frowny pout, Jennie stomps closer to Jungkook, wanting to get a look at the woman who has his attention, but when she sees who it is, she freezes up as a gasp leaves her lips, and her eyes double in size. 

“Oh my god,” is all she could say, because she was stunned for the same reason everyone else was when they first saw the brunette.

With her blue eyes flicking between the man she loves and the woman she’s always hated, Siri’s mind clicks things into place. Thanks to Jimin’s words, “Your wife just arrived and is making her way up…” and now with Jennie here for Jungkook… The confusion drains away from Siri, just like it feels like her blood has drained out of her, leaving her feeling pale and empty. All that happiness she felt a moment ago is gone; there’s none left inside of her. 

Her teary, stunned gaze lands back on Jungkook, and all she sees are his tearful doe eyes full of guilt with a thousand apologies behind them. 

That’s when her heart collapses, and the only thing pumping into Siri’s veins is betrayal. 

She couldn’t understand why Jungkook would do this, especially when he knows how she feels about Jennie.

Siri suddenly wishes she hadn’t come back. She feels that being here is a mistake now. She shouldn’t have come back because coming back to this—to the betrayal of all betrayals… it’s a punch to the gut. It’s a slap in the face. It’s a stab in the back and heart. 

She never imagined something like this could happen. She never imagined Jungkook could do this to her.

What an awfully shitty thing to come home to.

“You married Jennie?”

__________________________________________ <- Previous Chapter ----- Next Chapter -> __________________________________________ Permanent taglist: @runariya @kelsyx33 @butterymin @captainengineer-trixie @eternalwarlockprototype @cariella214 @granataepfelchen @whoa-jo @sheelhen @mar-lo-pap @nikkinikj @blackswan18 @jkgivinsleeplessnite @jksusawife @junecat18 @kissintae

After that kiss with Taehyung, he asked her out on a date for a week later. Because he’s a simple farm boy, he planned something nice and simple, just a dinner at one of the restaurants in the small town. 

The date was lovely and Taehyung was every bit the gentleman Jane Doe knew him to be. He shyly handed her a single rose from his family’s garden, but it made her think he was adorable. He opened the passenger door for her before they drove off, and he even pulled her chair out for her at the restaurant and paid for dinner.

Once dinner was done, the couple didn’t want their date to end, so they walked through the small town, heading to a park that has a little pond nearby while they held hands under the starry night sky. 

As they walk, Taehyung notices a small ball of fluff bouncing in front of them.  

“Oh hey, look! A bunny!” he says, pointing to the rabbit as it hops towards the bushes.

Jane’s face softens as she says, “Aww, it’s so cute.” But then she feels her heart pound harder for two beats before a small jolt hits the side of her head near her temple, and it makes her go lightheaded. 

Squeezing Taehyung’s hand to stop them both walking, Jane closes her eyes tight to try shake the dizziness away, but doing so makes images flash in her mind where it plays like a movie. 

She sees herself sitting on a man’s lap where her hands are cupping his face, but she couldn’t see all of him clearly as it’s too blurry. 

She hears herself giggling while squishing his cheeks together, making his lips pucker like a fish while she playfully says to him, "My sweet bunny boy, my bambi, my muscly-pig, my silly K—"

But then that moment is suddenly replaced by another. 

This time, Jane sees herself lying beneath the same man, and she only knew it was him because she could see his mouth and noticed there was a cute choco-chip looking mole under his lower lip like in the first flashback. The rest of the man’s face is blurry again, but Jane notices how close they are. Intimately close. 

He’s on top of her, and she hears herself say, “You crazy bunny boy…” and he replies to her with a soft smile on his lips as he says, “Crazy for you.”

The flashes are then gone, just like that. 

“Janey?” Taehyung calls her name softly with concern, noticing she was scrunching up her eyes as if she had a headache. “You okay?”

She opens her eyes, blinking a couple of times as she comes back to the present. She looks at Tae a little startled and slightly dazed.

“What’s wrong?” he asks with more worry.

“I uh… I think I just remembered some things from my past…”

Tae’s eyes widens and his heart drops, although he tries not to show how that made him uneasy. “Wow, really? What was it?”

It’s not that Taehyung didn’t want Jane to get her memories back because he knew she deserved them and he knew it mattered to her, but he couldn’t ignore what those memories might bring. If Jane starts remembering her husband, Taehyung feels like she won’t want to be with him anymore. 

Jane hesitates to answer because the flashbacks she saw were sort of intimate, and she didn’t want Tae to feel jealous or uncomfortable (too late!). But then again, she, Tae, Jisoo and Rosé knew something like this could happen, and they know she has a husband.

“It was flashes of two moments,” she finally answers. “And I think they were moments with my husband, but when we were younger…”

Shit. Taehyung’s heart sinks again hearing husband, however he keeps his expression neutral and nods as if it didn’t affect him. 

“Okay… What did you see?”

Jane swallows thickly. “I couldn’t see his face fully coz he was all blurry…”

Thank fuck for that. Taehyung feels a little bit better after hearing that. Just a little.

“But I could hear his voice,” she continues, “and I remember—” Jane wavers to say more as she feels almost embarrassed, but she carries on anyway. “I remember his lips… and the scenes that came to me were of me calling him bunny boy. I guess seeing that rabbit just before and hearing you say the word ‘bunny’ triggered those memories to come back.”

Taehyung nods slowly, taking in her words. He didn’t particularly like it, and in that moment, instead of thinking how cute that rabbit was, he thinks it’s a little shit. He finds himself irrationally irritated by the animal as the thought crosses his mind that none of this would’ve happened if he hadn’t pointed it out. 

But what could he do? What’s done is done, and now Jane has some of her memories back.

Wanting to be supportive in the hopes of keeping her heart on him, Taehyung forces himself to push past the unease and focus on Jane instead.

“That’s good though, right?” he says casually. “That something is coming back?”

“Yeah, I guess so… It’s just kinda random it happened now… after so long…”

Jane’s thoughts go back to those flashbacks, thinking about how she sounded so affectionate to the man in her memory, and when she thinks of how the man said he was crazy for her, it makes her heart skip a beat and warms her cheeks.

It was strange to her that something she couldn’t fully remember could still make her feel like that.

Jane then suddenly feels Taehyung’s hand tighten gently around hers, and the sensation pulls her back to him. She looks at him where he’s giving her a smile that’s soft and reassuring, but it didn’t quite reach his eyes. The sight of him makes guilt hit her chest. She feels bad for Tae because she knows he would be worrying about what those memories would do to her feelings for him.

But to her, those memories are only very small glimpses into her past, and they aren’t enough to change how she feels for Taehyung. Sure, the flashbacks made her heart skip and warmed her cheeks for a moment, but those feelings passed just as quickly as they came.

What didn’t pass was this and him. Kim Taehyung and how he’s made her feel over the last two years. 

To reassure him, Jane squeezes his hand back a little more firmly before she moves closer to him and gently leans her head against his shoulder. “This doesn’t change anything, Tae. I still want to be with you.”

There was no hesitation in her voice and no uncertainty in her eyes, and it makes Taehyung relax a little more. However, deep within him, he wasn’t one-hundred percent relaxed because there will always be some worry that more of Jane’s memories could come back. 

He tells himself to be grateful though, because at least for now, she’s still here and she’s still choosing him. 

__________________________________________

Over the next two weeks, things go well for Jane Doe and Taehyung. They’re practically a couple but just haven’t put a label on it, and while they’ve kissed and made-out plenty of times, they haven’t done anything more than that. 

Taehyung’s been holding back because he’s too aware that Jane had not long ago decided to let go of her past, and he didn’t want to rush her. Plus, ever since she got those ‘bunny’ memories back, he just wants to take things slow to ensure she really wants him. 

Jane never questioned why Tae held back as she had an inkling why, and actually, she appreciated him more for taking things slow with her. 

However, Taehyung will end up regretting doing that because Jane had more memories come back to her. 

It’s a Saturday when the couple come home from a lunch date, and as they enter the Kim family home, there’s a sweet smell in the air.

“Oh, you guys are back!” Jisoo calls out from the kitchen. “Great!”

Jane and Taehyung spot her behind the kitchen counter with flour lightly dusted across her hands and the counter was covered in baking mess.

Jisoo smiles at them brightly as she places a tray of cookies on the bench. “I need you both to try the cookies I just baked and tell me what you think.”

The couple have eager smiles on their faces as they walk toward the kitchen, but when Jane lifts her hand to grab a cookie, she stops just before touching it.

Just like the first time, Jane’s heart pounds hard for a couple beats, and she feels a small jolt at her temples, making her feel lightheaded again to the point that she sways to the side, but thankfully Taehyung is there to catch her. 

As she closes her eyes to steady herself, a flashback comes to Jane.

She sees herself as a child, maybe around four years old. She’s in a white dress sitting on some grass in what feels like a bright, open space. Her hair is tied into cute little pigtails, swaying slightly as she tilts her head at the little boy standing in front of her. He had big doe eyes and a shy expression.

“...Kook… Can you cook?” her little self asks him.

He shakes his head. “No…”

“Then do you taste like cookies?”

“No… but my Eomma says I smell like cookies sometimes after we bake some.”

“Noice! I love cookies!” she smiles at him and he smiles back.

The scene then quickly changes to something that looked like it happened on the same day. Jane notices how her mini-me is dressed the same as before, but this time, she sees herself placing a daisy chain crown onto the little boy’s head as she says, “Here! Dis for you for helping me.”

She then sees herself clapping her hands together while proudly saying, “Aww, you look so pwetty, Kookie!”

“Fank you,” the boy says while blushing.

Suddenly, another scene follows straight after, but it’s different from the two just before. 

This time, Jane’s mini-me is in what looked to be a classroom. She’s on the floor with tears in her eyes, looking all sad and pouty until she sees him—that same little boy with doe eyes. He’s crawling across the room like a little ninja, and the moment he reaches her, Jane’s little self wraps her arms around him tightly.

“Kookie! I missed you!” she says to him. “I don’t like dis place already. Don’t like being away from you.”

“Me too,” he says, hugging her back just as tightly.

When they pull away, he holds something out to her. “Here. I got dis for you to make you happy.”

Jane’s heart skips with delight, just like her younger self does when she sees what it is he was handing to her. A CookieTime cookie which Jane could feel was, and still is, her favourite type of cookie.

“Wow! You’re my hero!” her mini-me says to the boy. “Fank you, Kookie.”

She’s then opening the packet quickly where she takes one bite before holding it out to the boy so he could have some too.

The memory fades after that, slipping away till Jane opens her eyes to find Taehyung and Jisoo looking at her with worry, but she’s not really focused on them still. 

“Janey?” Jisoo says as she furrows her eyebrows with concern.

Jane blinks a few times while her chest starts to feel tight and achy, and her eyes start to sting. Still in a slight daze from the flashback, her hand moves to the chain around her neck, pulling her engagement and wedding rings forward because that’s where she keeps them now. She didn’t want them on her ring finger anymore since she was trying to move on from the man who gave her them, but she still wanted to keep them close.

As Jane thinks about what she saw, tears brim her eyes as her fingers go to the wedding ring specifically. She just knows that the little boy in those memories was her husband, and it was all because of the daisy chain crown she saw her younger self place on his head. Now the engraving on her gold wedding band makes sense. 

When Jane didn’t really respond to Jisoo, Taehyung glances at his sister quickly, biting his bottom lip nervously because he’s seen Jane be like this before. It also didn’t help that she grabbed her rings and is holding onto them for dear life. He sensed it was a memory related to her husband that came back to her, and obviously he didn’t like that.

Tae looks back at Jane as he asks, “Did… Did you get some of your memories back again?”

Hearing his voice snaps Jane out of her daze, and she nods to answer—which in turn, makes both Jisoo and Taehyung’s heart drop.

“I was really young,” Jane starts to explain while still holding her wedding band. “Maybe four? And there was a boy about the same age as me… He had these sweet, big doe eyes, and he was really shy… And I think—no, I’m sure, that he became my husband.”

Taehyung and Jisoo glance at each other again at that.

“I called him Kookie…” Jane looks down at the gold ring, her thumb tracing over the daisy chain engraving. “Kookie with a K… I think.”

The siblings exchange another glance at each other where the expressions on both their faces are filled with disbelief and worry. It was only two weeks ago that a rabbit triggered Jane’s memories, and now it’s happening again with cookies, of all things? 

Clearly the memories aren’t staying buried anymore. They’re coming faster than what the siblings would like, and each memory seems to be more detailed and more emotional as they come. 

Jane looks up due to the silence, and her heart sinks when she sees Taehyung and Jisoo’s expressions. She sees how neither of them look fully relieved or happy about what she just said, even though it’s a good thing she’s getting more of her memories back. 

But Jane understands them. If she keeps remembering things, she might not want to stay here with them anymore and be part of their family—which Jane does feel they are to her. They’re her new family. 

But what happens if—or when—she remembers everything?

Feeling a little lost and overwhelmed, Jane apologises to Jisoo and Taehyung, leaving them for a moment to sit on the back porch of the Kim family house so she can breathe and have some time to think.

She fiddles with her wedding ring on her necklace as she sits there, thinking about how weird it is that she’s gotten back some of her memories in only two weeks. 

For two years there was nothing. No matter how hard she tried, she couldn’t remember anything about herself, but now it’s like the universe has decided it’s time that she does remember. 

Kookie. 

The nickname still feels distant to Jane, but going off her memories, she now realises that her husband has been in her life for much longer than she thought. They weren’t just highschool sweethearts or university sweethearts like she assumed, they were childhood sweethearts. He’s been in her life for about twenty years. That's the majority of her life, and that fact changes everything.

Jane sighs softly as her chest feels a little heavy. Her memories didn’t start coming back until she told herself she was going to choose Taehyung. Now it feels like something in her is pushing back against that choice. It’s like her heart didn’t like the thought of letting go of her past, and it wanted to finally start reminding her of who she is and where she belongs. 

With Kookie.

Jane’s fingers tighten slightly around her wedding ring while her heart aches. She’s starting to remember her husband and her past, and she’s not sure how she feels about it because part of her really wants to be with Taehyung.

That’s what makes things so complicated now, because her feelings for Tae are still there. 

Jane closes her eyes and sighs again, feeling quite conflicted. How is she supposed to choose between something she’s only just starting to remember, and something she’s actively feeling?

How is she supposed to understand a love that spans years when she can’t even remember all of it?

And how is she supposed to walk away from someone who’s right here, who cares for her right now, and who makes her feel so loved?

She doesn’t want to choose.

A sense of frustration builds in Jane as she leans back slightly with her gaze lifting to the blue sky above her. Part of her wants to keep choosing Taehyung. She wants to stay here, in this life she’s been building with him, Jisoo, and Rosé, where things feel calm and carefree.

But another part of her keeps pulling her back towards someone else. To someone who was there first.

Suddenly, the wooden porch creaks softly behind her, and Taehyung is there, lowering himself to sit beside Jane on the steps. For a while, neither of them say anything as they look out at the farm. 

Eventually, Taehyung lets out a sigh. “I get the feeling that more of your memories might come back,” he says solemnly, feeling disheartened by this.

Jane’s fingers tighten again around her rings, and she doesn’t disagree because she feels it too.

“I’ll be honest,” Tae continues, “I’m worried about what that means… For you. And for me… For us…”

Jane swallows thickly as tears brim her eyes from the honesty in his voice.

“I don’t know what it’ll mean,” she admits softly, looking down at her rings. “I’m just really confused now, Tae…”

He looks at her, feeling his heart ache because he can see she’s stuck.

“I have been falling for you,” Jane tells him. “And part of me still wants to be with you…”

Taehyung habitually licks his lips and nods, knowing there’s another part of her she needs to express.

“But the other part…” Jane sniffles, wiping at the corner of her eye as she could feel a tear about to fall. “The other part of me wants to wait and see what my memories will bring… Part of me doesn’t want to let my husband go just yet…”

Taehyung exhales with his heart feeling heavy. “Yeah… I figured that might be the case.”

“I’m really sorry,” Jane murmurs as a tear does end up falling.

Tae shakes his head and reaches for her hand while the other wipes away at her tear. “Hey, you don’t need to apologise. Getting your memories back isn’t something you can control.”

“I know, but—”

“But nothing,” he interrupts softly. His eyes are warm on her, but there is some sadness behind them too. “You’re trying to figure out your life, and we knew something like this could happen.”

Jane squeezes his hand and pouts as more tears slip from her eyes. “I still feel bad though…”

Taehyung keeps wiping at her tears. “Don’t. We’ll just take each day as it comes, okay?”

Jane nods and hugs him to try make him and herself feel a little bit better about the situation. However, she knows he’s not really happy about this, but neither is she since she doesn’t know what to do, and she doesn’t know which feeling she’s meant to follow. __________________________________________

The next time Jane gets another memory is two weeks later.

She’s out with Jisoo and Rosé for their girly brunch catch-up, and at one point, she excuses herself to go to the bathroom. As she makes her way through the café, weaving between tables, something catches her eye.

A baby in a carriage.

The stroller is parked beside a table, and the baby inside is lying on its back with its feet kicked up into the air, and on their cute little feetsies… are tiny white knitted booties.

Jane slows down as her gaze lingers on the booties, and that’s when she feels lightheaded as a memory comes back to her.

She’s standing next to a man who’s seated at a dining table. She sees a blurry profile of him opening a box, and then she hears herself say, “Happy birthday, my Kookie!”

The man lets out a shaky laugh as he lifts what’s inside—a pair of little white knitted baby booties.

Jane still can’t see all of him again, just his eyes this time that are all big and doe-like, and they were glistening with tears. “This for real?” she hears him say to her. “My baby’s having a baby?”

Jane feels her own lips curve and her heart swells at such an affectionate sentence.

“Our baby,” she corrects him gently. “I’m having our baby.”

The memory is then gone and Jane is snapped back to reality. She gasps softly as her hand flies to the wall to steady herself. Her other hand comes up to her head as her heart starts racing.

That memory… It felt recent. Recent as in it was something that happened close to the time when she had the accident, and she only figured that because the doctor told her she was pregnant when she was brought to the town hospital. It makes her heart ache because it means that she and her husband were in a good, loving place before she had her accident.

Jane presses her lips together to stop them from quivering, and she practically runs into the women’s bathroom. The moment she’s alone, she grips the edge of the sink and stares at her reflection, seeing her blue eyes look wide and shaken.

“It’s okay,” she murmurs to herself. “You’re okay.”

But her chest still hurts. Her gaze drops to her hand that reaches for the necklace resting against her collarbone so she could feel her rings.

Our baby.

Jane’s throat tightens with a thick lump and her eyes start prickling. She turns the tap on quickly and splashes her face a couple times, and as she looks at her wet reflection again, she tells herself, don’t cry. Not here and not right now.

She inhales slowly, forcing the ache in her chest to go away, then she reaches for a paper towel and gently dries her face. Afterwards, she goes to the toilet, does her tinkly business, and washes her hands, going through the motions until she can breathe properly, and her expression and heart is steadier.

Once she looks at herself again, Jane’s more composed. She plans to hide this memory from Rosé and Jisoo (and Taehyung) because she knows that they wouldn't exactly be thrilled to hear about it, especially when this memory involves her husband again.

Jane knows Jisoo wants her and Taehyung to be together, so telling Jisoo would just make her worry more that it won’t happen, and Jane didn’t want that for her friend. She didn’t want more worries in the house and she didn’t want to cause drama. 

She ends up leaving the bathroom looking extra perky, and she tries to forget about the memory… At least until she’s alone. 

However, later that night, when Jane is finally alone in bed… She lies there, staring up at the ceiling as she thinks about the baby memory. It doesn’t take long for her eyes to sting and get watery once again, and the ache she pushed down earlier comes back in, but it feels a lot more painful than before.

She sniffles as tears slowly slip from the corner of her eyes, sliding into her hair, while her hand lifts to her necklace again where her fingers hold onto those rings. Then, a soft sob slips out, and Jane ends up turning onto her side, curling into a ball.

“I’m s-sorry…” she whispers brokenly, apologising to both her baby and her husband. She feels absolutely terrible she lost their little one, especially when he seemed so excited about it. 

Jane squeezes her eyes shut as guilt twists painfully inside her, making another sob come out.

Her husband, the man she still can’t fully remember… She knows now, without a doubt, that she loved him more than anything. That they were happy and they were building a family together.

But it was all taken away from them—actually no, it was taken away from him. She and their baby were taken away from him.

Jane’s breathing turns uneven as her grip on the rings tightens even more. “I don’t even remember you…” she croaks out.

That fact makes her hurt even more, because he will remember her. He’s the one who lost her.

She hates that she still can’t remember all of his face. Sure, she saw the face of the little boy, but it’s hard to picture what he could look like as a man. All Jane can remember is his voice, his black hair, his lips, and his doe eyes. It totally frustrates and guts her that she can’t remember anything else. 

She buries her face into the pillow, trying to muffle the sound of her crying as she lets herself feel the grief, the guilt, and the loss all over again. 

__________________________________________

Over the next two weeks, Taehyung, Jisoo and Rosé can feel a change in Jane Doe. She still smiles, but it doesn’t quite reach her eyes the same way anymore, and she doesn't seem as present as she used to be, often looking away in thought. 

They all could only assume that she got more of her memories back, but she just hadn't told them—and they weren't wrong to think that.

To try and pull her back to them, Jisoo comes up with an idea of doing a potluck dinner, where they’ll then play some board games in their living room. It was meant to be something easy and fun. Just four of them, plus one more. Rosé’s new boyfriend, Bruno, was invited too.

Things go well and Jane is actually present and having a good time, but then there’s a moment before starting a new game where Rosé talks about how she loves her new iphone.

“Ughhh, I love this new phooone!” she says while holding it, using her face to unlock it. “Like, I didn’t think I’d care this much, but it’s actually amazing.”

Taehyung rolls his eyes with a grin, “Dude, it’s just a phone.”

“It’s not just a phone!” Rosé replies, feigning offence. “It’s a smart phone. It’s way better than that other brand I had. This thing can literally answer you like a person.”

The thing is, everyone in the house doesn’t have any Apple products. They’ve all got other brands. Even Jane, who was given a phone from Taehyung after moving into his home, didn’t have an iphone but a Samsung.

Bruno chuckles. “All smart phones can basically answer you like a person, babe,” he says to his girlfriend.

“Yeah, but this one’s cooler! Watch this,” Rosé says proudly as she holds her phone up.

“Hey Siri—”

Schoooong!  A jolt hits Jane’s head again, and even with her eyes open this time, she sees this memory play out clearly. 

She’s small again, sitting on grass and wearing that white dress with her hair in pigtails. She’s making that daisy chain crown she remembers, and the little boy with the doe eyes is standing in front of her. 

The memory seems to be a continuation from a previous one. She’s smiling at the Kookie boy as she says, “Noice! I love cookies!”

He smiles softly at her, and then he asks, “What’s your name?” 

Jane feels her heart beating hard in that moment. She’s been wanting to know her real name ever since she woke up from her coma. 

“Sereeena!” her younger self answers cheerfully. “But my mummy and daddy call me Siri, so you can call me that too if you want.”

Jane gasps, and the memory is gone, but she doesn’t stay quiet about it this time. Her hand flies to her chest as she looks around at everyone with her eyes wide and tears already filling them.

“Oh my gosh, guys!” she says with excitement. “I just got another memory back!”

Three hearts drop as everyone turns to her.

Taehyung straightens up beside her, trying to hide the worry on his face. “Janey—what—”

“Siri!” she blurts out, almost laughing through her tears. “My name is Siri—well, it’s actually Serena, but apparently my nickname is Siri! Can you guys believe it?!”

Jisoo’s face lights up because this isn’t such bad news. “Wahh, this is so great!”

Rosé lowers her phone with her mouth ajar from shock. “Holy crap! You remembered that just from me talking to my phone?! Ahh! This phone just got so much better!”

Taehyung stares at Jane—no, Siri—for a moment as he takes in this new news. He supposes it’s better than hearing something to do with her husband. 

A smile curls onto his lips as he places his hand on hers and says, “I’m really happy for you, darl. This is very good news.”

Warmth and butterflies go off in Siri’s chest, and she squeezes his hand to say thanks.

Rosé gets up from her seat, rushing over to Siri to pull her into a tight hug. “This is so huge, babes! You finally have your name back!”

Jisoo joins in right after, wrapping her arms around both of them, and the girls all jump together happily. 

Siri laughs as happy tears slips down her cheeks. She feels so good that everyone is happy for her regarding this. She also feels like this is the first step to actually finding out more about herself and her past because now she has an actual name she can search for. Might not be her full name, but at least it’s better than no name.

The two men chuckle at the girls, and Bruno even makes a comment that Serena is a beautiful name. 

Taehyung nods in agreement before he looks back at the joyful girls—although he’s really only looking at one of them… The one with the blue eyes who makes his heart feel all warm and light, but she also makes it feel heavy and sink sometimes… especially lately…

Jisoo lets out a chuckle as she pulls from the hug. “Wow. This is going to take us some time to get used to calling you Serena or Siri.”

Siri huffs out a small laugh as she wipes the tears away from her eyes. “Yeah,” she murmurs with a smile. “It’s definitely gonna take me some time to get used to it as well.”

“We need to celebrate!” Rosé says enthusiastically. “Jane Doe is no mooore!”

__________________________________________

Finally remembering her name brought so much joy to Siri. She couldn’t believe it took two years for it to happen, but now that she’s got her name, it’s time for her to utilise it. 

After the game night and celebrating, Siri lies awake in bed, searching on her phone for any articles containing the name ‘Serena’ since that’s all she’s got to go on.

‘Serena missing within the last two years’ is what she types in, and voila! There are actual search results this time!

‘Dawson family gone in plane accident.’ ‘Could Serena be the only survivor?’ 'Serena Jeon’s body still missing.’

Siri’s heart races at the amount of results there are. She clicks on the first article she sees, and the first thing to pop up is a family photo. It’s as clear as day that it’s her in it, standing between her mother and father.

The article introduces her as the daughter of a prominent business mogul, Jack Dawson, and his wife, Rose Dawson.

Siri’s heart jumps and she feels goosebumps at reading the name Rose Dawson. She’s seen that name before somewhere, a long time ago. She closes her eyes to think back on where she saw that name, and after some time, she remembers. 

She was in the physio rehab facility, learning how to walk again. She heard something on the TV that was on the wall, and that woman’s face and name appeared on the screen. Siri remembers thinking that the woman looked pretty and kind, but she also remembers that the news was about Rose’s body being found in a fisherman’s net.

Siri’s heart sinks to the pit of her stomach when she realises that the woman had been her mother.

“No…” she whispers as her hand rises to her mouth as tears immediately fill her eyes. 

She keeps on scrolling, her heart pounding hard as she reads the rest of the article, hoping—no, needing—to be wrong that her parents are gone. 

Please, please don't have both of them be dead...

But her hope dies when she continues reading. Her father’s body had been found months before her mother’s.

A broken sob escapes from Siri’s lips. She may not remember them, but the grief is there. Her father and mother are both gone. Both taken from her life while she didn’t even know who she was.

Siri takes some minutes to cry it out, and after she calms herself down, she keeps reading even though her chest aches and her eyes are heavy. She needed to know more, so she takes in every detail she can find about the incident and the search efforts.

She notices one name that keeps appearing… Jeon Jungkook.

Her heart stutters and she gets goosebumps again because she could figure out easily that the man must be her husband. He has ‘Kook’ in his name, therefore… He must be my Kookie.

It also helped that a few articles named her as Serena Jeon rather than Dawson. Clearly she took the last name of this man.

When Siri clicks on a different article, a photo loads up of her husband and she stares at him intently. She takes in his face and his features, recognising those doe eyes and his lips from the memories that came back to her. 

She continues reading, learning about how he’s been searching for her ever since the plane accident, how he never stopped looking, and how he put in almost everything into finding her. There are even mentions of financial losses and of their company taking hits because his focus never wavered from his search for her.

Tears gather in Siri’s eyes again as she’s stunned by what she reads. 

“He’s been looking for me all this time… and he didn’t stop…” 

Siri cries again with overwhelming relief as she clutches the rings on her necklace. Her heart just feels so much warmth knowing now that her husband had been trying to look for her.

But alongside that relief comes guilt and frustration. Guilt because she feels terrible for the fact that he hasn’t been able to find her, and her losing her memories definitely didn’t help that. She’s also frustrated because she can read about Jungkook and understand what he’s tried doing for her, and yet she still can’t fully remember him.

“God, I wish I could remember you…” she murmurs as she zooms in on her husband’s face. 

Now that I can fully see you… damn, you’re so handsome… I was so lucky to have you…

Eventually, exhaustion takes over Siri due to the emotional weight of everything she learned. She tells herself she’ll do more research tomorrow, but for now, she wants to sleep with the comfort of knowing her husband had kept looking for her. 

However, when she sleeps, her mind continues working. It works so hard giving her dreams where everything comes back to her. Everything.

Siri fully sees how she and Jungkook met as children. She remembers their games, pretending to be a prince and princess, and how he gave her a tiara for her seventh birthday. She remembers their best friends, Jin, Yoongi, Hobi and Namjoon, as well as her girlies, Jessi and Hwasa, and she even remembers her enemy, Jennie. 

Siri sees all her firsts with Jungkook in her dream. Their first kiss, their dates, their sexual experiences, and even the small breakup they had that lasted less than a day.

She sees Jungkook’s proposal, and the way he looked so in love with her on her 21st birthday. She remembers saying yes, and where their wedding happened in New Zealand. And then she fully remembers telling Jungkook she was pregnant on his 24th birthday. 

Every moment comes back to Siri. Every feeling. Every piece of her life.

Her dreams even showed her what happened when her father’s private plane malfunctioned. 

There was a shudder beneath her feet just before warning alarms went off. Smoke came through from somewhere, and as the plane started to shake, the pilot yelled there was something wrong. It all happened so fast, Siri and her parents panicked, but her father managed to put a safety parachute on her. She tried to tell him to save her mother, but her father didn’t listen. Then at some point, she sees and hears a loud fiery bang that must’ve knocked her out and blew her away.

When Siri wakes up in the morning, back to her present, her room comes into focus slowly, and her mind is completely clear.

She’s back. The real Siri is back.

Now that she remembers everything though, her heart feels a painful burn as tears fill her eyes once again. Thinking back on it now, Siri thinks that maybe her father knew he and her mother wouldn’t make it, and he chose to save her first so she and her baby could live.

But unfortunately, only she lived…

Siri brings a hand to her chest, clutching the rings on her necklace as there’s only one person on her mind now.

Jeon Jungkook. Her husband. The man she loves. The man who has been searching for her all this time.

I almost let you go, Kookie—no, I did let you go!  I… I can’t believe I wanted to move on… God, I’m so sorry! 

Siri hastily takes the necklace off and slides her engagement and wedding rings back onto her finger, back to where they belong. She then looks at her hand, her heart feeling a little calmer now that she has part of Jungkook back. 

Never again. Won’t let you go ever again, Koo.

Suddenly, Siri hears voices drifting from downstairs, and she remembers where she is. Her heart sinks and guilt fills her chest as her thoughts go to Taehyung.

She still cares about him, and yeah, she was falling for him, but now that she remembers everything, Siri knows where her heart truly lies, and she knows who she loves the most.

Her heart then pounds a little faster as another thought comes to her… She needs to go home. Back to Jungkook, and back to her true life. 

As much as it’ll hurt to leave Taehyung, Jisoo and Rosé, Siri can’t stay here pretending that this is her life. She just can’t do that when she knows the man she loves most in this world is missing her.

As she sits in bed, Siri is dreading the conversation she needs to have with the siblings downstairs. She knows Tae and Jisoo will both be devastated to hear she has all of her memories back, but unfortunately for them, her priority is now on the life she had before she met them. Siri’s priority now is to find a way back home, back to the man who’s had her heart since she was four years old. She needs to go back to Jungkook.

Getting out of bed with her chest filled with anxiousness, Siri slips her feet into her slippers, then she heads downstairs in her PJ’s. When she reaches the kitchen, she finds Taehyung sitting at the kitchen bench with a bowl of Coco Pops in front of him, while Jisoo stands by the fridge, pulling out a carton of eggs.

Jisoo notices her first and she smiles brightly, “Well good morning, Miss Serena.”

Siri’s lips curve into a small, polite smile, but it doesn’t reach her eyes. “Morning,” she replies, walking closer as her stomach twists into knots.

“Morning, darl,” Taehyung says with a soft smile, and as Siri gets closer to him, he reaches for her hand and gently pulls her towards him where he then brings her hand to his lips and he kisses the back of it. As always, he’s a gentleman with her. 

The gesture sends butterflies through Siri. She loves that he’s so sweet with her, but sadly, it all feels wrong now. 

In that split second of a moment, her chest aches at the memories of her kissing Tae because she feels like she cheated on Jungkook, even though that wasn’t really the case since she couldn’t remember him at the time. 

Taehyung notices Siri’s blush, but he also notices how her smile drops faintly. His brows knit slightly while he’s still holding her hand. “Everything okay?”

Her hands tighten around his before she intertwines their fingers. She wants to hold his hand for comfort. Part of it is for her, and part of it is for him, because she knows what she’s about to say is going to hurt.

Siri swallows thickly as her gaze flicks to Jisoo before settling back on Taehyung. Her heart pounds hard as she inhales then exhales.

“I um… I got my memories back last night… All of them…”

The kitchen goes so quiet, you could hear a pin drop if it happened.

Jisoo is frozen where she stands, while Taehyung’s face drops, and the spoon in his other hand lowers slowly back into the cereal bowl. They both go pale and are speechless as they try to process Siri’s words.

“… A-All of them?” Jisoo eventually repeats hesitantly. It almost sounded like she was scared of the words, which in a way, she was. Jane/Siri felt like a sister to her, and Jisoo felt like she was about to lose a family member. 

Siri nods as her hands grip tighter to Taehyung’s hand. “Yeah…” she says softly. “I remember everything… who I am, where I’m from… who my family is… and who my husband is…”

It’s deafeningly quiet again, and it feels totally suffocating. 

Siri looks at Taehyung, and god, the sight of him… It breaks her heart. He looks so defeated. 

Tears well in her eyes as she steps closer to him, bringing his hand up to hold it close to her chest. “Tae, I’m so sorry.”

He looks at her, but his gaze drops instantly when he notices something sparkling on her left hand… Her engagement and wedding rings are there. 

Knowing she put them back on makes Tae’s heart sink even more, and tears brim his eyes. He now knows he’s got no chance with Siri anymore. 

Despite this, he tries to force a small smile, even though it’s a shaky one. “It’s okay. Really. I’m happy for you.”

Siri shakes her head, making her tears fall. “No,” she says as she squeezes his hand tighter while stepping closer to him. “It’s not okay. I know this is breaking your heart… and yours too, Jisoo…” Siri glances towards her dear friend, “I’m so, so sorry this has happened.”

Jisoo sniffles as her own eyes go glossy when everything sinks in. She sets the eggs down on the counter and walks around until she reaches Siri and hugs her from the side.

“It’s not your fault.” Jisoo exhales shakily and hugs her tighter. “We knew this could happen anyway.”

Taehyung sniffles next, quickly wiping away a tear as he stands up from his chair to wrap his arms around both girls, but mostly around Siri. She turns into him, and her composure breaks as she buries her face into his chest. She just felt absolutely terrible because she really does care for these two people.

Tae just holds Siri close with his chin resting lightly against her head while another tear manages to slip down his cheek. His eyes then meet his sister’s over Siri’s shoulder, and he sees she’s crying too. 

In that moment, the siblings share a look; Jisoo gives a sad smile with a shrug, basically saying, Well… It’s happened. 

Taehyung nods lightly as if he understood his sister, his eyes saying to her. Yeah… There’s nothing we can do now…

__________________________________________ <- Previous Chapter ----- Next Chapter -> __________________________________________ Permanent taglist: @runariya @kelsyx33 @butterymin @captainengineer-trixie @eternalwarlockprototype @cariella214 @granataepfelchen @whoa-jo @sheelhen @mar-lo-pap @nikkinikj @blackswan18 @jkgivinsleeplessnite @jksusawife @junecat18 @kissintae

This is how the brunette with blue eyes feels. She feels completely lost in her own head, confused about what’s around her, and she’s so frustrated that she can’t even remember her own damn name. 

Unfortunately, in this small town, no one knows who she is either. Because of this, Jane Doe (or Jane) is her name for now since it’s the name given to unknown and unidentified females. 

After Jane Doe wakes up, she has many questions, but sadly, no one knows any answers—although the doctor was able to tell her that she appeared to be in her early to mid-twenties, she’s apparently married going off the rings on her finger, and she was, quite clearly, suffering from amnesia.

Well no fuckin’ shit, Sherlock.

The only other things Jane knew was what Taehyung and the staff at the hospital told her. 

While she gets a routine blood pressure taken by Dr Park Seojoon, Taehyung tells Jane Doe that he found her five months ago amongst some thick bushes surrounded by trees not far from his family’s farm. She was bruised, bloodied, and completely unconscious, and there was no sign of what had happened to her as he couldn’t see any wreckage. It was just her alone.

“So… no one’s been able to find out who I am?” she asks him and the doctor.

“We’ve done what we can locally,” Dr Park answers gently, “but without anything to go on—since you have no identification and the police couldn’t search for your fingerprints in any database, it makes things difficult.”

Jane’s heart sinks as she knits her eyebrows together, and a small pout forms on her lips. “And… no one came looking for me over these last few months?” she asks softly with sadness laced in her voice.

Taehyung glances at the doctor for a split second, who gives him a small, sympathetic look while very subtly shaking his head, then he looks back at Jane. 

“Sorry, but no,” Tae replies with apologetic eyes.

“But it’s been five months…” she murmurs, more so to herself than to them. Her stomach twists and she feels like her chest has a heavy stone sitting on it. It was just hard for her to take in those answers.

No one knows who I am, and no one is looking for me…

Her gaze then drops to her left hand. But I have an engagement and wedding ring on my finger… surely that means there’s someone out there is missing me?...

Dr Park Seojoon suddenly clears his throat as he removes the blood pressure arm band from her. “There’s something else you need to know, Miss Jane Doe…”

She looks at him with her eyes already teary from the situation.

“This is hard for me to say, and it will be much harder for you to accept, but… but with you being my patient, I must inform you of this…”

Jane nods once and waits.

The doctor exhales heavily, guilt filling his every word. “When Taehyung brought you here, you were in very bad shape, however… you were also… pregnant.”

Jane’s heart drops. “I was pregnant??” Her eyes go wide and a tear falls as she realises something. “Wait… Y-You said ‘were’? As in… past tense?...”

Dr Park nods with remorse all over his face, “Sadly, yes. I’m so sorry, Miss Jane Doe… but your baby didn’t make it.”

“O-oh my god,” she says with disbelief as even more hot tears fell down her cheeks. “I-I had a baby?! Oh my god—how far along was I?”

“About 14 weeks… We had to do a D&C. I’m truly, very sorry.”

Jane’s face distorts into a painful grimace as she starts to sob. She couldn’t believe it. Not only did she lose her memories, but she also lost her baby.

Because she couldn’t really move her arms due to her muscles having been asleep for five months, Taehyung quickly grabs some tissues and tries to catch Jane’s tears. 

But she keeps crying. She cries long, and she cries hard, hating that she can’t remember anything, hating that she’s already ruined a life. 

She cries so much, the regretful doctor had to sedate her. 

The two men in the room felt terrible as they watched Jane Doe sleep, with slow tears still slipping out the corner of her eyes.

There was nothing they could do, but Taehyung made a silent promise to Jane that he’d be there for her for as long as it takes to help her heal. To him, it’s the least he could do.

__________________________________________

“You're doing great, Janey!” Rosé says the nickname brightly as she keeps herself positioned just behind the woman. Her hands hover near Jane Doe’s waist in case she stumbles. “You’ve been taking a lot more steps this week! So proud of you, babes!”

It’s been only two months since Jane woke up, and right now she’s in the physiotherapy part of the small hospital building. Rosé is her physiotherapist who has been helping her learn how to move again, but she’s also quickly become one of the few people Jane Doe feels is a real friend.

And of course there’s Taehyung, too. How could she not become friends with the man who basically saved her life?

Jane’s breath comes out shaky as she grips the two vertical bars on either side of her. Her palms are sweaty against the bar, but she doesn’t let go.

“I feel like my legs are gonna give out any second already,” she mutters, focusing hard on keeping her balance.

“You won’t,” Rosé says reassuringly. “I’ve got you, okay? Worst case, I’ll catch you. Best case, you surprise yourself again.”

Jane lets out a hiss and a wince as she tries to shift her weight forward again. Her arms shake as she holds onto the bars, and her legs tremble and ache a bit, almost like they want to stay asleep for a little bit longer, but she pushes through the pain, taking another small step forward. Then another, and another.

Suddenly, a colleague, Jisoo—who also happens to be Taehyung’s slightly older sister, and another good friend to Jane Doe—calls out for Rosé, needing her help on a treatment plan for another client.

“I’ll be there soon!” Rosé shouts back before she focuses on her friend. “You can do it, Janey,” she encourages warmly. “Keep going. You’re pacing yourself really well today.”

Jane swallows and nods even though her throat feels dry. She manages two more steps before her knees begin to shake harder than before.

“Ah—okay, okay! I think that’s my limit!” she says quickly with a strained voice.

Rosé immediately moves forward to help hold her up, “Alright, alright, we can stop here for now.”

Jane exhales in relief as Rosé helps slide the wheelchair closer, positioning it just behind her. The moment she sits, Jane’s legs feel like they’ve turned to jelly, and exhaustion washes over her, making her close her eyes for a moment to relax—and she only took sixteen steps! 

“I’ll be right back, okay?” Rosé says to her. Jane nods with a small smile, puffing slightly from the very short, but strenuous walk. 

When Rosé is out of sight, Jane presses her fingertips into her knees and down her calves to massage them. She frowns with a pout, hating how weak she is and how far away she is from being ‘normal’ again. She feels like a total failure with her memories, as a mother, and with her body. 

However, before she could delve deeper into her sad thoughts, a movement catches her eye. Jane glances up and sees the TV mounted on the wall that has been playing lowly in the background this entire time. The volume was low enough to not be a distraction, but was still loud enough that she could hear what was being said.

“Breaking news! The body that was caught in a fishermen’s net a week ago near Mikrokosmos coast has now been identified. DNA testing has confirmed it to be Rose Dawson—”

Jane’s brows knit together as a pretty picture of a smiling Rose Dawson appears on the screen. There was something about the woman that looked familiar, but Jane couldn’t put her finger on what it was. The woman looked beautiful though, she thought, and she had kind eyes. 

“She was the wife of business mogul, Jack Dawson, whose body was found several months ago along Butterfly beach, and she was the mother of Sere—”

“Hey, you’re not giving up already, are you?”

Jane startles at the voice, and her head snaps to the doorway where she sees Taehyung coming through with that sweet boxy smile already on his face. 

He has a small plastic bag in his hand which carries a punnet filled with the best red fruit there is from his family’s farm. Strawberries!

Forgetting whatever was on the TV, Jane smiles seeing the bag of fruit (and Taehyung), feeling grateful he had brought them in for her once again. Strawberries are one thing she likes very much, and she's sure the old her loved them too. 

She chuckles lightly and shakes her head to Tae’s teasing question. “I was just resting for a bit while Rosé had to help Jisoo with something.”

Taehyung nods before he sits the bag of strawberries down and slips under the bars so he’s standing in front of Jane. 

“Well then, let’s get you back up and running, Janey!—or, well, it’s more like walking, isn’t it?” He grins sheepishly at his little mistake. 

Jane rolls her eyes as she chuckles. “You don’t have to do that, Tae. Rosé will be back in a minute.”

He ignores that completely and steps forward, already holding out his hands for her to take. “Nah, come on. You can practice with me, too.”

“But I'm still a bit tired…”

“Alright then, let’s make a deal.”

Jane raises an eyebrow, “A deal?”

“Yep. If you can give me ten steps, you get the strawberries right now and you won’t have to share them with my sister and Rosé.”

“But that’s more like blackmail, not a deal!”

“Nooo, it’s motivation,” Tae grins cheekily as he bounces his eyebrows up and down.

Jane scoffs lightly while Tae gently takes her hands. 

“Come on, darl. Just ten steps.”

Instantly, Jane’s heart skips a little beat at the shortened nickname of darling. Taehyung’s called her that a few times already, and each time it gives her this happy little skippy feeling.

Shaking that feeling away because she needs to focus on getting better, Jane huffs while glancing at the parallel bars. She then exhales heavily and forces herself to slowly stand, but she does so with a bit of a wobble.

“Hey eeeasy there, princess,” Taehyung says softly as he helps her up. 

Suddenly a little light bulb goes off in Jane’s head, and her heart feels like it’s been pinched. Princess??… Why does that sound so familiar?

With her thoughts now distracted from the task, Jane loses focus and her knees go weak. Her body starts to drop, but Taehyung is quick to catch her. His arms end up pulling her close against his chest, and the abrupt closeness makes both of their breaths hitch and they freeze up while staring at each other with wide eyes.

Neither of them move for a moment, and gone is the thought about the ‘princess’ nickname. 

Their faces are close enough now that Jane can see a faint blush creeping into Taehyung’s cheeks, just like he could see a blush slowly appearing on her cheeks too.

Both their hearts skip a beat, but it’s Jane who looks away first, clearing her throat awkwardly when she realises the position they’re in. 

“I-I’m sorry,” she mumbles. “I’m just really weak still.”

Taehyung blinks to snap himself out of whatever that moment was, and he gently helps her straighten again, still holding her waist tightly to steady her. “Hey, you’re doing fine.”

Jane frowns slightly. “I feel like I’m failing at this.”

“Aw, come on, it’s been what? Two months since you woke up?” She nods and Tae continues. “Well Dr Park said it can take a few months, sometimes even six months or more before you can fully walk again. So don’t give up just yet since it’s still early days.”

“But it just feels like it’s gonna take forever,” Jane pouts.

Taehyung smiles softly at her as he brings his hand up to lightly tap at her pouty lip. “Well, good things take time, darl.”

At that endearing nickname, Jane has to look away from him since she could feel herself blushing again while her heart skips another beat. 

Taehyung grins widely, liking the effect he has on her, but he decides to switch into playful mode to help distract her.

“Alright, let’s do this, Janey. You want those strawberries, yeah?” 

She’s able to look at him again and nods with a sheepish smile. Tae nods in return as he takes a step back from her and moves his hands to hover near her waist. His eyes are focused on her as he says, “Okay. Take a step for me.”

Jane takes a deep breath and shifts one foot forward… “Good,” Tae says. “That’s one.”

Another step is taken… “That’s two.”

When she’s done the eighth step, Jane’s muscles are burning, a small sheen of sweat forms near her temples, and her knuckles are whitening as she grips the bars tight.

“T-Tae, I don’t think I can do any more.”

“No, don’t give up! There’s only two more steps to take.”

Jane winces, “But it hurts…”

“It’s just two more. Come on, give me step nine.”

“Ughhh, I hate you.”

Taehyung grins softly and he watches as Jane takes her ninth step. “Yes! That’s nine! One more!”

Jane closes her eyes as the feeling in her legs threaten to give out again, but she won’t stop now when it’s just one more to go. She exhales hard before she grits her teeth and takes the final step.

“Ten! You did it! I knew you could do it!” Taehyung cheers for her, but as soon as she’s done it, Jane’s knees finally give up.

Tae catches her again quickly before she collapses, and this time, instead of blushing with shock, there’s laughter and big smiles between them.

__________________________________________

Two months later…

Jane Doe is no longer confined to the hospital anymore, and is now living with Taehyung and his sister, Jisoo, at their family home on a farm. 

In their open plan home, the siblings stand by the kitchen counter chopping up veggies, while Jane sits curled up on the couch with a mink blanket draped over her lap. She’s been eyeing up the tablet sitting on the coffee table in front of her as her mind has been gnawing at her to do more research. 

“Jisoo?…” Jane calls her name softly.

“Yeah?”

“Could I borrow your tablet? I just want to try searching for things again… see if there’s anything new.”

“Of course you can,” Jisoo replies with a smile. “You remember the password to unlock it?”

Jane nods as she leans over and takes the tablet. She opens it up and goes straight to the web where she types in whatever comes to her mind that could be related to her accident. 

‘Missing females in the area.’ ‘Hunt for missing pregnant woman in her twenties.’ ‘Missing women over the last year.’ ‘Brunette in accident during the last year.’ ‘Major accidents within the last year.’

Jane scrolls and scrolls, but once again, there are no new articles or new pages from when she last checked a week ago. Just the same results of women who weren’t her, and it makes her frustration build. She isn’t finding anything, but it feels like she should be finding something.

After a while, she stops scrolling, and Jane just stares at the empty search bar as her eyes start to prickle and water slightly. She feels like a failure again. She feels like she’s getting nowhere, like she’s going nowhere, and like she’ll never be able to figure out who she is.

She exhales shakily and places the tablet on the couch beside her, and then her gaze drops down to her left hand where she stares at her engagement and wedding rings. Her left thumb fiddles with the underside of the rings before her other hand moves to slide them off her finger so she can look at them closely again. 

As she does so, a painful, anxious ache comes into her chest. It’s a feeling that happens every time she looks at the rings.

The engagement ring is gorgeous, and it’s obvious someone put a lot of thought into choosing this for her. When she looks at the gold wedding band next, she sees the engraving along the outside of what appears to be a daisy chain. 

Jane thought it was really pretty the first time she noticed it a few months back, but at the time, she couldn’t think of the significance or the meaning behind the daisy chain, and even now… still nothing…

“I don’t understand…” she whispers to herself as her eyes really start to sting and her vision blurs.

She closes her fingers over the rings and shuts her eyes, making her hot tears spill over as she thinks about how she obviously meant something to someone, but then where the hell were they?? 

It’s been four months already since she woke up from her coma (around nine months since the accident), so if there was someone out there wearing a gold band that matches hers, then why haven’t they found me by now?

Do they not love or care for me anymore?? Do they not want to find me?

Jane hates that her mind even goes to this next thought, but… Did the person who married me maybe want me gone? Was it coz I was pregnant? Is that why they haven’t come to find me?

Or maybe it was something worse… Tae said he found me bruised and bloodied… What if whoever I was married to was worse off? What if they were dead somewhere? 

Jane squeezes her eyes shut tighter and shakes her head so she can push those thoughts away, but they don’t really leave. They stay in her mind and make her whole body ache. The thoughts make her yearn for something and someone she doesn’t remember. 

Why? she thinks to herself.

A light whimper escapes from her as she clutches the rings against her heart. They’re the only proof that her life—her real life—had ever existed at all. She both loved the rings, but hated them at the same time, because she hated that she couldn’t remember anything.

“Why-y?…” she says aloud this time in a whisper with a crack in her voice as more tears fall down her face.

Her chest aches so bad, it feels like really bad heart burn. Feels like she’s being scorched from the inside.

“Why?” she says again a little more loudly, but not enough to catch attention.

Her breathing shakes as the hurt, the frustration, and the confusion all come together to create a pain she’s never felt before.

“WHYYYY?!” She shouts louder as she cries.

“Darl—??” Taehyung says with alarm as he drops everything he’s doing. He and Jisoo look at each other quickly before they rush towards Jane.

“Janey, what’s wrong?” Jisoo asks, sitting beside her on the couch while Tae kneels in front of her.

Jane can’t even answer properly because she’s crying too hard. Her left hand covers her mouth as she bawls, while her right hand keeps the rings clutched tightly to her heart.

“W-Why isn’t anyone looking for me?!” she eventually cries out. “I’m… I’m freaking married and I was pregnant, so where the hell is my husband?!”

Jisoo’s worry softens into pity, and her hand comes up to gently rub Jane’s back. “Hey… hey, it’s okay,” she murmurs softly, even though things are clearly not okay.

“I just don’t understand!” Jane chokes out between her crying. “I hate that I can’t find anything! I hate that I can’t remember anything!”

Taehyung glances at his sister with his eyes heavy with sadness. He then looks back at the crying Jane Doe, placing his hands on her knees where he gently moves his thumbs back and forth.

“We’re here for you,” he says quietly, because that’s all he can say. 

He and his sister can’t really say much else, and sadly, there’s only so much they can do to help her.

__________________________________________

Timeline: One year 11 months since waking up from the coma (2 yrs 4 months since the plane incident, Jungkook’s parents have had that talk of letting Siri go by this point, and her funeral has already been and gone…)

__________________________________________

On a Saturday morning, at a café right in the centre of the small town, Jane Doe sits at a round table with her two close friends, Rosé and Jisoo. It’s become their thing now to do a girly brunch at the café every two to three weeks to catch up. 

Jisoo sits back in her chair, watching Jane with a small smirk because she’s been thinking about asking her something for a while now. She looks at Rosé first who bites her bottom lip with a smile and nods, indicating for Jisoo to go ahead and say whatever it is, and it makes Jisoo’s smirk curl up more.

Just as Jane starts to stir the sugar in her tea, Jisoo finally speaks. 

“Hey, Janeyyy,” she says a little too sweetly, making the woman glance up from her cup to look at her friend. “I have something to ask because it’s been on my mind lately.”

“What’s that?” Jane replies, lifting her tea to her lips, about to take a sip. 

Jisoo grins, “When are you and my brother finally going to get together?”

“Pffffft~!” Jane chokes on her tea and starts coughing. Patting her chest, she stutters out, “W-what??” with a surprised high-pitched voice. “Why would you ask that??” she says as heat rises to her face.

Both Jisoo and Rosé laugh at her reaction. 

“Ohh, come onnn,” Jisoo says with adoration. “It’s so obvious you and Tae are really into one another. I’ve seen you both blushing around each other more times than I can count. He’s always watching you, and you’re always watching him whenever he’s in the paddock—especially when he has his shirt off.”

Jisoo bounces her eyebrows and smirks at the last part, Rosé makes another giggle, while Jane’s face turns even redder.

“Wow,” she says, chuckling a little in disbelief and embarrassment. “Didn’t know I was that obvious.”

“So when’s it going to happen?” Jisoo bounces her eyebrows up and down again.

The question goes unanswered as Jane lets out a nervous laugh. She looks down at her cup of tea, thinking about how to answer. It’s not like she hasn’t thought about Taehyung before, because she definitely has, it’s just that hearing Jisoo say out loud that he also likes her makes her feel a little flustered.

“Well um… I don’t know,” Jane says shyly. “Is it even okay for me to be with him?”

Jisoo tilts her head with slight confusion, “Why wouldn’t it be okay? Oh, are you worried about how I’d feel about it? Coz as his big sister, you totally have my blessing to date him,” she gives Jane a cheeky wink.

Jane chuckles awkwardly as she shakes her head. “No, it’s not that…” She then lifts her left hand where her beautiful engagement ring still sparkles, and her wedding ring is still a shiny gold.

“It’s because of these,” Jane says, twinkling her fingers. “I’m technically already with someone.”

The table goes a little quiet after that. It wasn’t in an awkward way or uncomfortable, but more so understanding and thoughtful. Jisoo and Rosé’s grins turn into soft ones. It seems it’s time they all acknowledge something that’s always been there in the background.

Even though she doesn’t remember her life before, Jane Doe is clearly married. That fact has always been in the back of her mind no matter what she does, making her feel conflicted with her feelings for Taehyung. 

Jane thinks over the last almost two years, where her feelings for Tae have built up slowly. Of course him finding her and basically saving her life automatically made her feel indebted to him, but he’s done so many other things ever since.

The first few weeks after Jane woke from her coma, Taehyung was the person who helped feed her when her hands weren't strong or steady enough to hold anything properly.

He also gently cleaned her with a warm washcloth most nights so she could feel at least a little clean again. He never touched her anywhere he shouldn’t though as he was always careful to respect her. And unbeknownst to Jane, Taehyung had actually been doing that even while she was in her coma.

There were the strawberries he’d always bring for her while she was rehabilitating, and when Jane was finally able to walk again, every time she and Taehyung went out and walked through crowded places in this small town, he would always take her hand and link it through his arm, keeping his hand on hers to have her close to his side. He did that so she could feel safe and secure with him, and so she would feel like she wouldn’t get lost again—and he still does that even now.

When they watch movies together, Tae always makes sure Jane has a blanket on her legs, and it’s during some of those movie nights when she would absentmindedly lean into him, and he would let her. Sometimes he would even adjust himself slightly or put his arm around her shoulders so she would be more comfortable.

Jane then thinks about the moments that make her and Taehyung very aware of each other, like when they pass one another coming out of the shower. They’re always so surprised for a second before they quickly look away, giggle awkwardly, and then blush red like crazy, pretending the little moment didn’t affect them, but obviously it did.

Jane also noticed how her mind and body wants him. There are some days when she just wants to go up to Taehyung, cup his handsome face, and kiss him so hard to thank him for all he’s done for her, for helping her rebuild a new life, and also to say, I wanna be with you.

But then there are days when everything feels a little more heavy to her. Days when she looks at her rings for too long and she gets this tight burning ache in her chest. An ache caused by a mixture of feelings such as sorrow, dejection, confusion, grief, anger, and even guilt for having developed feelings for someone who doesn’t have the other gold band. 

“Babes,” Rosé says gently, snapping Jane out of her thoughts. “It’s been almost two years since you woke up… I would say you’re practically single now, and you should move on from whoever gave you those rings. You’ve started a new life here with all of us, and it’s not fair on you to be putting this life on hold for something that hasn’t come back to you.”

Part of Jane does agree, but she doesn’t say that. She just looks down at her rings, and thinks about the idea of moving on, however, something in her resists it. 

She feels attached to the person she’s married to, even though she can’t remember who he is. Letting go and moving on means she’d be giving up on him, but it also feels like she’d be giving up a part of herself as well, losing whoever she was before the accident.

But at the same time… there’s Taehyung… and Jane knows she’s falling for him.

Right now, she sits between her past and her present, and she has no idea what to do.

__________________________________________

After her breakfast with the girls, Jane decides she needs to talk to Taehyung to see how he feels about things. 

Since Jisoo needed to tend to a client after their brunch, it was just Jane and Taehyung at home. She walks around the house looking for him, and when she reaches upstairs, she sees his bedroom door is ajar. 

As she gets closer to his room, she can hear the TV is on and she has a partial view of Taehyung sitting on his bed with a small pile of laundry in front of him where he’s folding it calmly. There’s also a news broadcast at a low volume that seems more like background noise than anything else, although Tae’s eyes do flick to it occasionally.

Jane ends up catching a fragment of the news as she nears the doorway. 

“Dawson & Jeon Enterprises, also known as D&J Enterprises, have reportedly seen a notable rise in stocks ever since the head CEO finally suspended his search for—”

Jane doesn’t hear the rest of the news as her mind zones it out. It just sounded like something financial and boring, so her focus just goes straight to Taehyung.

~Knock knock~  she taps on his bedroom door lightly. “Hey Tae, can we chat?”

He’s startled for a second with his hands stopping mid-fold, and his head lifts quickly toward her voice. He has a look of surprise since he wasn’t expecting her to be standing there suddenly.

“Hey, yeah, sure,” he says, reaching for the remote quickly to turn the TV off with one hand, while the other just sweeps his laundry back into the basket he had placed on the floor.

He smiles and nods to the edge of his bed for her to sit on, and Jane nervously sits there with an awkward smile. Her fingers get busy turning the rings on her finger, sliding them back and forth as her thoughts go a little haywire. 

“What’s up?” Tae asks with a slight furrow of concern on his face. “You seem… nervous?”

“Yeah… I guess I am sort of nervous?” 

“How come? Have I done something or—”

“No, no!” Jane shakes her head and her hands quickly to reassure him. “You haven’t done anything wrong at all!  I um… well…” she drops her hands and fiddles with her rings again. “I wanted to know—well, do you think… do you think because no one’s come looking for me… and because I can’t remember anything…”

She swallows thickly as she lifts her eyes back to Tae, “Do you think it would be okay if I moved on? Like… moved on from whoever I married?” 

Taehyung’s eyes go wide again and he freezes up for a moment since he wasn’t expecting this at all. But truthfully… if this conversation is going to go the way he thinks (and hopes) it goes… he’d like her to move on…

Because he’s fallen for her already.

It didn’t take long for that to happen. One look into her pretty blue eyes… Seeing her determined to move and walk… Hearing and seeing her with a real smile while laughing… and just her presence in general makes Taehyung want to protect Jane and keep her safe. It was hard to not fall for her, even if the name he calls her isn’t her real one. 

However, due to Jane’s predicament, Taehyung understands why she’s nervous and conflicted, and so he says to her, “I think you should do what feels right to you.” 

Jane looks at him with her heart beating a little faster. “What if I… well, what if being with you feels right?”

Taehyung freezes up again while he can feel his chest thrumming so fast. He’s just stunned again but also happy to hear Jane say something like that. 

“And like…” she continues, feeling all vulnerable and unsure, “what if I want more than what we are now?”

Taehyung licks his lips in that habitual way he always does. “Well… I’d be lying if I said I didn’t want the same,” he admits. “I don’t want to make things harder for you than it already is, but I also don’t like pretending that there’s nothing between us when we can both feel there is.”

Jane’s heart skips a beat, nervously, happily, and a little frightenedly. She’s scared because she’s made vows to a man she can’t remember, and she feels like she’s betraying him for feeling happy that another man wants to be with her. 

But what is she supposed to do? What should she do when part of her heart also wants the man right in front of her? The man who’s been by her side every day for almost two years.

If only she could remember that the man she made vows to had basically been by her side every day for over twenty years. A measly two years definitely didn’t compare. 

“There’s been no new developments and no new answers,” Taehyung continues, “so maybe it could be okay to stop waiting and just move on… I know that’s selfish of me to say that, but honestly, darl… I’ve fallen for you, so I’m gonna be a little selfish and ask you to choose me.”

Tears swell up in Jane’s eyes while a slightly pained, but also slightly happy smile curls onto her lips. Her emotions are pulling her in opposite directions and it feels like her heart is being torn in two. 

“God, Tae… I don’t know what to do…” she whimpers.

He moves closer and gently pulls Jane into him. One hand comes up to cradle the back of her head, and the other hugs around her. “It’s okay. You don’t have to decide anything right now.”

Jane wraps her arms around him and cries into the crook of his neck. Taehyung is just so lovely and so supportive, and he’s always there for her. She should choose him, shouldn’t she? 

But the rings and the man who gave them to her… The man who made a baby with her… Who the hell is he and where is he?!

“You can take your time, darl,” Taehyung says softly. “I’m not going anywhere.”

His steadiness and reassurance only made Jane’s chest ache more. She pulls back slightly with her teary eyes looking at his face, and when she locks onto his sweet, dark eyes, something in her tells her to do this… that urge to just… kiss him. 

So she leans in and does it without a second thought.

Her salty, tear stained lips meet Taehyung’s, making him still for a split second before he kisses her back. He tilts his head to deepen their kiss, and Jane willingly takes it. She really wants more of it and more of him. 

Even though her heart yearns for someone she can’t remember, there’s also a part of Jane that wants this new love. She feels like this makes sense. That being with Taehyung makes sense at this point in her life. 

No one has come for her, no one has claimed her, and she can’t remember anything. She should be allowed to move on.

And so… in this moment, while Jane Doe is kissing the man in front of her, she finally decides she’s going to live in the present, and let go of whoever the man is in her past. 

__________________________________________ <- Previous Chapter ----- Next Chapter -> __________________________________________ Permanent taglist: @runariya @kelsyx33 @butterymin @captainengineer-trixie @eternalwarlockprototype @cariella214 @granataepfelchen @whoa-jo @sheelhen @mar-lo-pap @nikkinikj @blackswan18 @jkgivinsleeplessnite @jksusawife @junecat18 @kissintae

Jungkook is in his office at D&J Enterprises—the office that he and Siri share since they’re both the CEOs—and all he could do is stare at the TV, trying to process what the news anchor said. 

Private plane… Malfunctioned… Carrying Serena Jeon… Unlikely anyone could have survived…

Jungkook feels his chest pounding loudly like drums, and his entire body is filled with a sense of dread. He starts heaving quickly, his breathing almost going the same pace as his heart, and his fingers curl into fists, turning his skin almost totally white as he tries to stop them from shaking, but it was of no use.

Plane… Burst… Serena Jeon…

That’s… Th-That’s my wife… That’s my best friend… That’s the woman who’s going to make me a father soon…

Jungkook’s vision gets blurry as tears brim his eyes, and he finds it’s hard to breathe now. He didn’t think his intuition would be correct. He couldn’t believe this was happening.

But I saw her this morning… I gave her a kiss and waved at her as the taxi drove off… 

She said she’d be back in three days…

Suddenly, his office doors fly open with a panicked Jin and Hoseok coming through. Jin is the lawyer for Siri and Jungkook’s company, while Hoseok works as their chief of finance and human resources. 

“Jungkook-ah!” Jin says with urgency. “Have you seen—”

But Jin cuts himself off because he could see the shock and devastation on Jungkook’s face. The maknae is standing there staring at the TV with his body shaking like a leaf, skin as pale as a ghost, and his doe eyes are watery and wide with disbelief. 

Jungkook gulps before his teary eyes glances at his friends, then he whimpers in an almost pleading way as he says, “Hyung…”

“This isn’t happening, right?” he asks with a small, shaky voice as tears start to slip down his cheeks. “She’s… She’s not… Sh-She can’t be…” 

Neither Jin nor Hoseok could answer due to the thick lump in their throats, but the look on their faces said it all. Both of them were trying hard to purse their lips together to stop their chins from trembling, and their eyes were teary just like Jungkook’s.

Seeing his hyung’s reactions, Jungkook’s chest starts heaving even more with panic coursing through him. Oh god. No… No…

With wide eyes and a gasp, Jin quickly runs over with his arms out as soon as he sees Jungkook’s face contort with pain and he starts to slump over. Hobi is right there with Jin, and they manage to catch Jungkook just before his knees give out, but they all still end up hitting the floor.

Jungkook clutches at Jin’s shirt as he drops his head to his chest, and a broken sob erupts from him. His whole body shakes as he cries a cry so heartbroken and loud. 

Every breath he takes fucking hurts as if someone is stabbing his chest over and over. Every sound from his throat freaking burns as if he was swallowing a hot piece of metal. Every tear falling from his eyes stings as if he had been peppersprayed. Every beat of his heart feels like it’s writhing in pain. Jungkook has never felt anything like this before. It was utterly excruciating; everything just makes him want to die rather than live to endure it.

“Sh-she can’t—!” he croaks through his tears. “Sh-she can’t be gone!—Oh god, our babyyyy!!”

Jungkook’s gut-wrenching sobs reverberate through the office and through the walls. His cries were loud enough that staff outside could hear him. They were also in shock since the news was spreading quickly.

All Jin and Hobi could do is hug their maknae tight as their own faces crumple with hot tears falling down their faces. Siri was one of their best friends too, she was their little sis. How could this be happening? Did they really lose her?

“Noooooo!!!”  was all anyone could hear from their CEO’s office. "It's not true! It's not truuuuue!!!"

It was a cry that would haunt a few people… and it was a day that would haunt Jungkook forever. 

__________________________________________

“I don’t care what you have to do!” Jungkook’s father, Seokho, growls into his phone as he paces around the living room in the Jeon family mansion. “Don’t tell me their chances are low! Just find them!”

It’s been five days since the dreadful incident, and everyone is still on edge, and some were even losing hope.

“If there’s even a one-percent chance any one of them could be alive, we’ll keep searching!” Seokho barks at the person on the other end. 

He listens to the person’s reply, then drags his hand through his aging grey hair in frustration, “Don’t give me excuses! Send every qualified person out there! I want divers! I want helicopters! I want ships! I want everyone! You have to find something for us! And someone better be looking at how the crash happened in the first place!!”

While his father is trying to make sure there’s a search party, Jungkook is on the couch as still as a statue. His eyes are sunken in with tiredness, as well as swollen and red, but they’re dry now. He’s all cried out to the point he feels empty and numb inside, and his gaze is fixed somewhere ahead, staring blankly at nothing. 

All his best friends are here surrounding him, including Hwasa and Jessi, and even Jennie and her father were here. Her father is in the kitchen area, also on the phone trying to call people, while she’s sitting by a window near the dining area, keeping to herself as she knows she’s not particularly liked by Jungkook and his friends. 

However, there is a faint sadness in Jennie’s expression even though it doesn’t really match everyone else’s in the room since she wasn’t especially fond of Siri herself. Still, the situation is very saddening and Jennie understands that. 

On the couch with Jungkook is his mother, Haneul. She sits beside him with her hand wrapped tightly around his. Her thumb keeps rubbing over his knuckles as a form of desperate comfort because she’s afraid of whatever is running through his mind.

Part of Jungkook is so numb and hollow that he can’t even really feel his mother holding his hand. His mind is only on her. His first and only love. And he’s blaming himself for what happened. 

Jungkook had a feeling something could go wrong, and he didn’t stop Siri from leaving. He feels he should’ve followed his gut and thinks he could’ve prevented her from going. He thinks that if maybe he had just pushed harder for her to not go, then maybe she wouldn’t have. He thinks that he could’ve suggested she go another day—a day when they could’ve gone together.

Part of him also thinks that he should’ve gotten on that plane with her because then at least he could’ve died with her and their unborn baby. Life isn’t worth living anymore if Siri’s not in it. What’s the point in anything now?

As if she could sense Jungkook’s thoughts going into a dark place, his mother squeezes his hand. “Jungkook-ah?”

He blinks at his name, but his face stays sullen as he turns his head slightly to look at his mother.

“She’s still alive, okay? Have some faith. Remember how strong our Siri is.” Haneul smiles to reassure him, but it didn’t reach her eyes. 

Jungkook feels a pinch to his hollow chest because he knows his mother is just trying to stay positive for him. He swallows thickly and does a small nod to appease her, but his eyes don’t stay on her for long. His gaze goes back to staring blankly straight ahead instead. 

As much as he wants Siri to be alive, the chances are near impossible, and deep down Jungkook’s not sure he can believe it. 

__________________________________________

A month passes and nothing gets better as there’s still no sign of Siri, or even her parents. No bodies have been found at all, only broken parts of the private plane in the ocean. 

Jungkook hasn’t been to work ever since the incident which all his staff understood. But not going to work made him resort to trying to take the pain away. 

Liquor bottles started to pile up in his and Siri’s home. It was just something to take the edge off, something to stop the flashbacks of that day recurring in his head, but the alcohol didn’t really work since pieces of Siri were everywhere in photos and her clothes. 

Jungkook could still hear her and see her when he was drunk. Every time it happened he would sob loudly and apologise to her ghost that he should’ve stopped her from leaving, and he should’ve held onto her tighter. He should’ve done more. 

That’s what he’s doing now while standing on the edge of his and Siri’s apartment building.

It’s late at night, it’s cold, and Jungkook has drunk a few bottles of liquor already today—shit, he’s still holding a bottle now.

He sways slightly in his drunken state, looking out at the city lights below him as he takes a sip of the alcohol.

“I should’ve—” he slurs to himself. “I sh-should’ve made her stay…” 

His chest heaves as tears streak down his face once again. “Sh-Should’ve told her… b-but I didn’t… I didn’t s-stop her…”

Behind him, multiple footsteps approach slowly and carefully.

“Kook…” Namjoon says his name calmly even though he and the others are internally freaking out that Jungkook might actually jump. “Come on, man. Let’s not get too close to the edge now.”

Jin, Hobi, and Yoongi side-eye each other as they spread out, trying to get as close as they can to Jungkook without startling him.

“We got you some samgyeopsal,” Hobi tells him. “It’s your favourite, Kookie. How about we head back down and fill your belly with some food?” 

Jungkook ignores their words and lets out a broken, humourless laugh, shaking his head as tears continue to fall. “She’s gone because of me! Both of them!”

He sways a little more and takes another sip from his bottle.

“I sh-should’ve done more… I should’ve—” His voice breaks as his hand comes up to his face as if to hide from the shame and regret he was feeling. “I sh-should’ve p-protected them…”

“You couldn’t have known,” Jin says softly, taking a small step closer to him. “None of this is your fault.”

Jungkook listens this time and shakes his head. “No! No, it is my fault! I let her go… What k-kind of—” He chokes a little between his crying. “What kind of husband does that?!”

Hobi’s eyes glisten as his hands clench at his sides. “Jungkook-ah…” he says through gritted teeth, trying to control how frightened he is. “Please come down from there. We don’t want to lose you too.”

But Jungkook doesn’t listen, shifting his foot slightly closer to the edge instead. He looks down and sniffles, feeling his tears sliding down his cheeks and off the tip of his nose. 

“If I just… If I just go… then I can see her again…”

“Jungkook,” Namjoon says his name more firmly as his heart hammers harder. “Don’t. Don’t you dare take another step.”

There’s silence for a moment as it appears Jungkook is actually contemplating it when he keeps looking down over the edge.

But that little moment was their chance! Yoongi, who had been as silent and as slinky as a cat, gradually crept up behind Jungkook, managing to swiftly lunge forward and grab him by the shirt, yanking him back from the edge.

“Yahhhh!” Jungkook stumbles back as the bottle slips from his hand and shatters on the ground. 

Yoongi doesn’t let him go though. He keeps pulling Jungkook back till he’s close enough to hug him tight from behind, and then Yoongi keeps walking back until they’re at a safe distance away from the edge. 

Jin, Namjoon and Hoseok rush in straight away to help steady Jungkook as he struggles weakly since his movements are slightly slow and clumsy from the alcohol.

“Yaahhhh, let gooo!” Jungkook cries as he reaches out in front of him, wanting to get back on the ledge. “I need to go! I need to see her! I need to be with her!”

“Sorry, Kook!” Yoongi says from behind him. “But you’re not going anywhere!”

Jungkook’s strength gives out and his body sags in his friend’s hold. He sobs with defeat and exhaustion as he says, “I c-can’t… I can’t do this anymore… I can’t live without her…”

Hobi hugs him from the front, crying while holding him tightly as Jungkook completely breaks down like he did the first time a month ago. Jin comes closer, placing one hand on Jungkook’s shoulder as his own tears fall. Yoongi keeps hugging Jungkook from behind as he tries to blink away the water in his eyes, and Namjoon exhales shakily with relief, placing his hand on his heart that was trying to calm down before he stepped closer too.

Jungkook just bawls for a while, and his friends are there throughout it all, also crying.

__________________________________________

Two weeks later…

“…a body has been recovered along the coastline earlier this week. Authorities have now confirmed the identity as Jack Dawson who was a passenger and owner of the private plane crash seven weeks ago—”

As soon as Jungkook hears this news, hope lights up within him. If Jack’s body was close enough to the shore to be found, then that means Siri could be close too. 

This time, rather than cry and mourn, Jungkook gets himself out of his alcoholic depression and goes into action, getting who he can to help. He organises expanding the search of the ocean where the plane broke up, as well as along the beaches and coastlines near where Jack’s body was found. No expense is spared, and no effort is held back. 

Over the next few months, boats are deployed all over again, divers swim in and out of the sea, and helicopters sweep across the ocean and coastlines, scanning every piece of land where something could have washed ashore. 

Jungkook is involved in all of it, hardly ever eating or sleeping, but he’s fully present and much more active compared to when the plane incident initially happened. He watches all the footage and listens in on every update, and every time a team checks in and a location is cleared, his heart sinks, but he doesn’t stop looking for Siri. He can’t stop.

Sure, the chances were low, but Jungkook was determined to find her body. Dead or alive, it didn’t matter. He just needed to find her so he could put his mind at ease, and so his heart wouldn’t feel as broken as it had been. He also wants to be able to put his lover and their unborn baby to rest, as well as have a place to go to when he needs her.

Since the day she left, Jungkook’s had Siri’s clothes to go to whenever he misses her. He even lays out his shirt she usually wears next to him when he sleeps. It doesn’t smell like her anymore—and of course it doesn’t because it’s been six months already—but he likes to pretend it does.

When a year passes, Jungkook still hasn’t planned a funeral for Siri as he refuses to accept she’s gone. He also hasn’t moved or changed a thing in their home, just in case by some miracle, she comes back to him alive. 

But as more weeks and months pass by with no sign of her, Jungkook’s hope slowly withers, just like his heart does. However, there is always a little sliver of hope he just can’t get rid of, and that’s what keeps him wanting to search for Siri.

To help with the ache and emptiness he feels though, rather than resorting to alcohol like he did at the beginning, Jungkook goes to the gym frequently, and gets piercings and tattoos to make him feel something, but they were also to commemorate her and their past.

When it’s around two years since the incident, Jungkook’s parents decide they need to talk to him. As much as they don't want to do this, they don’t want to see their son withering away like he has been for these past couple of years.

“Jungkook-ah,” his mother says to him softly one day, reaching for his hand to hold it gently, the same way she held it since the beginning of the incident. “Your father and I have been putting this off for as long as we can because we don’t want to do this either, but… We think it’s time.”

“Time for what?” he asks curiously.

“It’s time to let Siri go, son,” his father answers. “It’s time to move on.”

Jungkook’s heart drops and he frowns as he just sits there. He feels betrayed by his parents for suggesting such an outrageous thing. How could they give up on her? On their daughter-in-law? On a member of their family? On the love of his life?

But then his mother says with concern, “We just can’t keep watching you like this. You’re losing yourself, Jungkook-ah…”

His father then pats his knee, looking at him solemnly, “It’s been two years… We don’t want to accept it either, but…” Seokho exhales with a heavy heart. “It’s just been too long…”

Jungkook really looks at his parents in that moment, and he can feel his mother’s hand tightening around his. He sees the way his father looks older than usual, and he can hear the regret and sadness in their voices. It’s obvious they don’t want to do this, but they feel like they have to do this. Because life is meant to go on, isn’t it?

The feeling of betrayal in Jungkook’s chest melts away, leaving a heavy and achy feeling. His eyes start prickling as tears begin to gather, his lips press together while his chin quivers, and he just feels so defeated and disheartened. 

He hates the thought of letting Siri go, and he hates that this will mean he’s giving up on her. 

But it’s been two years already… 

There’s been no sign of Siri, and now with his parent’s words of worry, Jungkook’s hope dwindles to a piece of string stretched to its limit.

A tear slips down his cheek as his gaze drops to the gold wedding band on his left ring finger. He doesn’t want to stop looking for Siri, but at what point do you draw the line and stop searching? Especially when everything he’s done so far has produced no results.

All Jungkook feels is pain and sickness in the pit of his stomach as he starts to think that maybe it’s time for that string to snap. 

Siri… I love you…

I’m so sorry…

But I tried…

__________________________________________

A few weeks later…

“Are you fucking serious right now?!” Jungkook yells angrily at his father while in his work office. “It’s only been three DAYS since we had Siri’s funeral, and you’re telling me I have to marry someone so our company doesn’t collapse?!”

Jin, who stands off to the side with a stack of documents in hand, immediately frowns. “Yah, Jungkook-ah, watch your tone. That’s your father—”

“It’s alright, Seokjin,” Seokho says, lifting a hand slightly to stop him while his eyes never leave his son. “I understand why he’s upset.”

Jin presses his lips together and says nothing more, although concern is still all over his face. He knew Jungkook would hate this conversation, and he even warned Jungkook’s father it wasn’t going to go down well, but the father had to do this.

Seokho exhales slowly before speaking again. “Son… I know this is sudden, but you need to—”

“NO!” Jungkook cuts in. “I couldn’t give two shits about the company right now—”

“You have to care,” his father interrupts with a firmer voice.

“Well screw the goddamn company!” Jungkook shouts back. “I don’t want it if I don’t have Siri working alongside me, and I don’t want it if I have to marry someone else!”

Seokho’s expression hardens at his son. “Don’t you dare. Don’t you put all my hard work down the drain just because your heart isn’t in it.”

Jungkook could only clench his jaw and give his father a glare.

“I worked my entire life to build what we have,” Seokho continues, “and I understand you don’t want to do this without her. Trust me, I…” He exhales with regret. “I’ve loved that girl like she was my own daughter, Jungkook-ah.”

Said man could see his father meant it, but it didn’t really soften his anger. 

“But life doesn’t stop,” Seokho goes on. “These last two years with the searching, the resources used, and with everything we’ve poured into finding her, it’s all taken a serious toll on the company. In order to recover and stabilise, we need a strong alliance—and I’m sorry son, truly I am—but you need to marry someone. If we don’t act soon, we risk losing everything—including the Dawson’s side of the company.”

That last line makes Jungkook’s expression waver. 

“Don’t let Jack and Siri’s hard work go to waste,” his father adds softly. “Let’s keep their legacy alive. And to do that… we need you to do this.”

The room goes quiet as Jungkook looks away from his father, down to the photoframe of him and Siri on their wedding day sitting on his desk. He also has a few other small photoframes of them together, as well as photos of just her. He looks at each one with his jaw still clenched, his hands tight in fists, his breathing is heavier, and his eyes are stinging.

Jungkook hates this. All of it. The timing, the situation, the thought of marrying anyone else. He doesn’t want to do it. He doesn’t want to call someone else his wife. He doesn't want to be intimate with anyone else. Heck, he’s still grieving and mourning for fuck sake!

But the thought of losing her side of the company, and of letting everything Siri and her father worked for disappear… It was a low fucking blow for his father to mention them like that, but it hits Jungkook right in the heart.

He squeezes his eyes shut for a long second, swallows the thick lump in his throat down, and he takes deep breaths to try to calm the ache in his chest, urging his tears to go away.

“...Fine,” Jungkook says reluctantly through gritted teeth.

Seokho exhales, releasing some of the tension within him. “Thank you, son. Woobin and I have spoken, and Jennie will—”

“OH HELL NO!” Jungkook snaps instantly, his head whipping back towards his father with wide unbelieving and betrayed eyes. “I will NOT marry Jennie! No fuckin’ way!”

His father’s expression hardens again. “Jungkook, she’s the best fit for—”

“NO!” Jungkook shakes his head firmly. “I won’t do it! I can’t do that to Siri!”

“Son, it’s just for the comp—”

“FUCK the company!” Jungkook cuts his father off again as his anger is back in full force. “It can go down! It can collapse! I don’t care! I’m not marrying her! I don’t even like her!”

“Jungkook-ah—”

“I will NOT marry Jennie!” he shouts as his tears finally slip down while he shakes his head in refusal, trying to stand his ground. “Anyone but her!”

__________________________________________

Back to the past…

When life gives you lemons, you make lemonade. That’s what people say, right?

Make something good out of something sour. Turn misfortune into opportunity. Find a way forward, no matter what you’re handed. And if life closes one door, it opens another, yes?

But what about when life drops someone into your path? Someone who wasn’t meant to be there. Someone who changes everything just by existing in your space. What do you do then?

In a quiet, rural country, the steady beeping of a machine fills a small room. A hand could be felt squeezing another hand, and eyelids could be seen fluttering open. 

A deep, masculine gasp is made next, and that person’s heart races.

A brunette with blue eyes blinks up at the ceiling, feeling disoriented as her brows knit together in confusion. Something already doesn’t feel right, and this place doesn’t feel familiar.

Her eyes lazily wanders, taking in the white sterile-looking room where she then sees him. 

A man stands by her bedside, tall, dark hair, and handsome. His warm hand is wrapped around hers, but the second her eyes drop to where they’re joined, he quickly lets her go, almost like he shouldn’t have been holding her hand in the first place.

Her blue eyes flick back up to his face with her confusion deepening. He gives her an awkward smile—a boxy one, which she strangely found to be cute.

The woman parts her lips to say something, but she could only croak a sound as her throat is dry. The man quickly realises she wants to speak, and so he gets a cup of water with a straw to help.

The woman looks at him curiously as she takes slow sips, and when she’s had enough water, her voice comes out weak and slightly croaky. “W-where a-am I?”

“You’re at our town hospital,” the man answers gently. “I found you and you were in pretty bad shape. You must have been in some kind of accident.” 

“An… acci…dent…?” she repeats, feeling quite befuddled as to how she came to be here. She looks around slowly, taking in the IV drip, the cords connected to her, and the machine matching her heart beat.

Her brows then furrow deeper as she looks at the man again. “W-who… who are you?”

“I’m Taehyung,” he says softly with a smile.

“T-Tae… Tae…hyung…” she murmurs, trying to see if she can remember that name, but nothing comes to her.

“I’ll go call the doctor,” he says after a moment, taking a step back to go. “You’ve been in a coma for about five months, so they’ll want to know you’re awake.”

She watches him, still puzzled, and as he turns to leave, she starts to panic.

“W-Wait! T-Taehyung?”

He freezes and glances back at the woman before stepping closer to her again, giving her his full attention.

She takes a moment as her eyes look around the room again, then she looks down to her own hands. She sees a gold band on her left ring finger, as well as a beautiful, sparkly diamond ring right next to it. However, while looking at them, she frowns because she doesn’t feel anything except more confusion.

She then looks back up at Taehyung, her eyes filled with uncertainty.

“…Who am I?”

He had no doubts in his mind, and it wasn’t like he was rushing into something unknown since he’s basically known Siri his whole life. He’s one-billion percent certain that she is who he wants forever and always, especially after that very short breakup they had (the one that didn’t even last a full day).

That day made Jungkook realise he didn’t want to lose Siri ever again. When they got back together, his mind was already made up. He wanted their forever to start sooner rather than later.

Originally, Jungkook was going to propose to Siri on their graduation day in December, but instead, he wanted it earlier on her 21st birthday in July, just two months before his own 21st birthday.

Even though the couple were nepo-babies and were born into wealth, Jungkook kept things simple for Siri’s birthday—well… their version of simple, anyway. 

With the help of both their parents, Jungkook arranged for Siri’s birthday party to be held on one of their yachts. Doing this meant the guest list could stay small and intimate, where only the people who mattered to them would be invited. 

Unfortunately… that still included Jennie. 

Jungkook knew Siri wouldn’t want her there (neither did he or their friends), but it couldn’t be helped since Jennie’s father was friends with their fathers. This meant Jennie had to be there no matter how much Jungkook and Siri would’ve preferred otherwise. 

But no worries! Thanks to the couple’s best friends, Jin, Yoongi, Hoseok, and Namjoon, as well as Siri’s girlies, Hwasa and Jessi, they had taken it upon themselves to act as bodyguards. They all kept a watchful eye on Jennie, making sure she was nowhere near where she shouldn’t be—far, far, faaar away from wherever Jungkook and Siri were. Nothing was going to ruin the couple’s night, and their friends made sure of it.

When the time came, Siri was completely gobsmacked by the proposal. She hadn’t expected it at all. She thought that step of their lives would happen after they graduated university, or maybe even after they’ve worked for a year or two together at their father’s companies. 

But when Jungkook got down on one knee, right there in front of her while holding the prettiest sparkling diamond ring with his doe eyes so sure of her and of this, Siri knew she wanted it too. She didn’t care if it was too soon, if anything, she actually loved it. She loved how unexpected it was, and loved that it meant Jungkook couldn’t wait. 

She also loved that it meant she got to call him her fiancé now rather than later, and Jungkook felt the exact same way. They both had the same thought that calling each other fiancé/fiancée around uni was way better than saying boyfriend/girlfriend. 

Obviously Siri said yes, and almost everyone cheered. One particular girl and her father weren't exactly ecstatic though.

Jennie stood jealous with her arms crossed and her smile a little too tight as she watched the proposal unfold. Her father next to her didn’t even bother pretending to be happy for the couple either. 

The older man was still bitter about what happened 17 years ago. He still hated the fact that all of this was the result of a silly little four year old boy making the wrong choice—well, wrong in his opinion, anyway.

But who cares about them!

After all the congratulations were said and done, the best friends of the couple were in their own little corner with their drinks in hand while they watched their newly engaged friends chatting away enthusiastically with their parents. 

“Who d’ya reckon will be Kookie’s best man?” Hoseok asked the others with a sunny grin. 

“Bags not!” Yoongi said instantly as he lifted his hand to press his thumb to his forehead.

“Aww, why not?” Hwasa teased with a smirk (although she and everyone else knew Yoongi was the most introverted one here and didn’t really like having attention on him).

“I don’t wanna be planning anything,” he answered honestly. “Just wanna drink a shit tonne of alcohol, and hopefully root a chick on the day.”

Jin looked at him with wide eyes, “Yaahh, Yoongi, you can’t be saying that!”

“What?” Yoongi grinned cheekily. “Of course I’ll be there for our two favourite maknaes as well. I’ll chip in with ideas and help pay for the bachelor party, but I don't want any major responsibilities. Fuck that.”

“Well, whoever Kook chooses,” Namjoon started, “let’s not get shitty with each other over it, yeah?”

“Of course not,” Hoseok said it like it was so obvious. He then looked to Jessi and Hwasa, “Who do you ladies reckon Siri will pick as maid of honour out of you two?”

“Oh, Hwasa can take that title!” Jessi said straight away. “I ain’t good at planning shit.”

The group laughed and nodded because yes, they knew Jessi to be the one that went with the flow, did spontaneous things, and always arrived at an event fabulously at the last minute—but she’s never actually late, though!

Jin’s smile dropped just a smidge as he glanced off toward the rest of the party. He then said lowly to the group, “We all know what we’ve gotta do if Jennie’s at the wedding, right?”

Namjoon let out a quiet chuckle as he nodded. “Yep.”

Hwasa snorted, “Obviously. Do exactly what we did tonight.”

Jessi lifted her champagne to her lips while her eyes held a hint of mischievousness. “I’ll keep a glass of red wine handy. Just in case that little hoe shows up in white.”

“Oh god,” Hoseok laughed. “I can actually see her doing that.”

“Exactly.” Jessi nodded after taking a sip. “We definitely can’t let her get away with that. And actually… might be a good idea if we all keep a glass of red handy.”

Yoongi snickered at that. “Sounds like a good plan. I’d love to see her face if we had to ‘accidentally’ spill it on her.”

Laughter passed through the group, and they all felt good knowing that they would always be there for their maknaes.

Fortunately, when the couple’s wedding day arrived (three months after Siri and Jungkook graduated), none of their friends had to spill any red wine because Jennie showed up in a deep green dress.

While green was the colour of envy, it seemed like Jennie had finally given up on trying to get Jungkook. He had always expressed he never wanted her, and every attempt she made to wedge herself between the couple never really worked. Now he was literally about to get married which meant there was no room for denial anymore. Even Jennie’s father, who was still far from pleased, had to accept it all.

Even though Siri and Jungkook didn’t want anything too extravagant for their wedding day, their mothers had other plans. It would be the couple's one and only wedding, so it had to be big. Plus, it wasn’t like they couldn’t afford it.

Ever since the couple were four years old, the whole prince and princess thing had been a sweet little roleplay their mothers adored. Because of this, they took it upon themselves to bring that childhood dream to life and give the couple a fairytale wedding, ensuring the two of them would be married in an actual castle in New Zealand, with both families going halves to make it happen.

When the couple were getting ready with their respective bridesmaids and groomsmen, neither Jungkook nor Siri were nervous or got cold feet. It was the total opposite to that. They were impatient. Of course they've enjoyed calling each other fiancé/fiancée for the past year, but now they were more excited to call each other husband and wife (or more like hubby and wifey).

The moment Jungkook saw Siri at the end of the aisle with her father, she took his breath away. She was the most beautiful he had ever seen her, so much so that his eyes welled with tears.

Just like their mothers, Jungkook had pictured this day since he was four years old—although it’s a little different from when he first imagined it. He wasn’t dressed like some fairytale prince with a wooden sword on his belt, Siri didn’t have her hair in pigtails, she wasn’t dressed in a bright sparkly yellow dress with glittery wings on her back, and neither of them had jewelled crowns on their heads.

No, this reality was so much better than his four year old self’s imagination.

What made it even better, and what made it even harder for Jungkook to keep his composure and not bawl like a baby, was when Siri got closer to him down the aisle, he noticed a particular accessory on her.

A crown of daisies sat prettily on her head.

Seeing that on her made Jungkook think back to the first day they met, when he found her making a daisy chain crown which she ended up giving to him to wear.

Back then their daisy chain crowns had been uneven and very flimsy since the stems could easily break. But this crown Siri wore was much more sturdier, more intricate and professionally made, and much prettier with small bits of baby's breath woven in between.

The crown may be different from when they were four years old, but the feelings it brought to Jungkook were exactly the same. A burst of happiness, total warmth, butterflies, and joy.

It’s also why he had a daisy chain engraved onto his and Siri’s wedding bands.

Jungkook couldn't help but tear up and let out a shaky breath as a smile slid onto his lips, because even after all these years, it seems they’re still the same two kids at heart. He finally felt like a real prince because Siri looked like a real princess walking towards him.

When she saw Jungkook crying, it made her tear up too. But when Siri started to tear up, it created a domino effect of tears for their friends and family.

Their mothers were obviously blubbering messes seeing how happy their children were. Jungkook’s father smiled with tears brimming his eyes. Hwasa and Jessi were blinking repeatedly, trying (and failing) to keep their own tears in. Jin pressed his lips together while his eyes were glossy. Hobi wiped at his cheeks without a care. Namjoon (the best man!) had to take in deep breaths and exhale softly to compose himself, although he did let out a sniffle. And even Yoongi had to clear his throat and turn his head to rub at his eyes, pretending something was in them. 

When Siri finally reached the end of the aisle, her father gently placed her hand into Jungkook’s where neither of them could stop smiling tearily. And then, standing in front of them, was one of their best friends. Kim Seokjin.

For most of his life, Jin has watched Siri and Jungkook grow from being those annoying little shits who always wanted to play with him, to becoming adults who he (and their other friends) couldn’t live without. The couple were like his little brother and sister. 

Even though he was a lawyer, Jin had gone out of his way to get himself ordained, just so he could be the one to marry his two youngest best friends—just like he did when they all played together when they were younger. It was his wedding gift to them.

Yes, Siri and Jungkook’s wedding was truly one of the best days of their lives, but there was an even better day coming for them after their wedding.

It wasn’t their honeymoon in Bora Bora, and it wasn’t the day their fathers’ companies finally merged, placing both Siri and Jungkook, side by side as joint CEOs. Their next ‘best’ day came two and a half years later, on Jungkook’s 24th birthday.

It was a Saturday morning when Siri got up early to make her husband a yummy breakfast. She cooked all his favourites and placed a medium sized box wrapped in blue and pink ribbons next to his plate. 

Jungkook had pouted playfully, telling Siri she didn’t need to get him a gift, and that all he wanted was to go somewhere quiet where no one knew their high-profile status, be together, and eat cake.

Siri had smirked and told him he was going to love the gift, and she even said that it was something she couldn’t take back or get a refund on, so he had to open the present. 

Jungkook, clearly missing the hints regarding the gift, rolled his eyes with a grin as he took the box and undid the ribbons. 

When he finally opened it, he just stared at the two objects inside with his doe eyes wide with confusion. Siri chuckled as she could tell his brain needed a moment to piece together the long stick saying the word ‘positive’ on it, alongside the white knitted little baby booties.

“Happy birthday, my Kookie,” she said softly to him, her heart pounding hard with excitement when she heard Jungkook mumble a ‘holy shit.’

A shaky laugh escaped him as he went to pick up the adorable little baby booties. When he looked back up at his wife, just like on their wedding day, his eyes were brimmed with happy tears. 

“This for real?” he asked with a hopeful smile. “My baby’s having a baby?”

Siri laughed lightly, already tearing up as she nodded. “Our baby, baby. I’m having our baby.”

As soon as Jungkook blinked, his tears of joy fell. He put the little baby booties down on the table before he pulled Siri onto his lap, wrapping his arms tightly around her while he stuffed his face into the crook of her neck. She could hear him laughing and sniffling from crying, but she could also hear him say, “Thank you. Holy shit. I love you. Oh my god, this is the best birthday gift ever.”

Siri giggled, running her hand through his dark hair as she said to him, “Told you it was something I couldn’t take back.”

Jungkook chuckled as he pulled his face away to look at her again. His hands came up to cradle her face, and with no words needed to be said, they both leaned in for a deep, long kiss. 

“How far along?” Jungkook asked once their lips parted.

“Nine weeks,” Siri answered, smiling sheepishly. “I’ve known for three weeks and it was so frickin hard keeping it a secret from you.”

Jungkook chuckled, “It’s okay. Definitely worth the wait getting this news on my birthday.”

His hand drifted down from Siri’s face, resting carefully over her stomach where he gently rubbed her tummy. “Our baby…” he said softly with a smile and awe in his voice.

Siri’s heart swelled at the sound of his dreamy, lovey-dovey tone, and the way he looked at her next… with love and excitement inside his galaxy-like doe eyes, she couldn’t be happier.

“We should celebrate properly!” Jungkook suddenly insisted with a big grin.

“What do you mean?” Siri chuckled. “Is this yummy breakfast I made for you not good enough?”

“Of course it is, and I appreciate it,” Jungkook pecked his wife’s lips quickly. Then his grin widened and turned mischievous. “But what I mean by ‘celebrate’... is by making more babies.” 

Siri laughed loudly and lightly hit his chest. “You do realise that’s not really how it works right now, right?” 

“Well, duhh~ I know you can’t get more pregnant, but it doesn’t mean I can’t try.” He bounced his eyebrows up and down.

Just as Siri started to laugh again, Jungkook was lifting her bridal style where he carried her to their bedroom to apparently ‘make more babies.’

There was a difference in him now, though. He was softer and more careful. Siri could feel it in his touch, even with how he pulled her clothes off. 

When they were one, Jungkook was so overwhelmed with love and happiness that he couldn’t help but say sweet words to his wife.

“Fuck, I love you so much,” he said before kissing her while rocking his hips into her.

“Best birthday gift ever,” he mumbled as he kissed along her chest and massaged her breasts.

“I’ll give you anything and everything you want, baby,” he husked against her ear while his cock stroked her walls and her pussy tightened around him.

Siri giggled at the last line as she wrapped her legs around Jungkook’s waist, cupped his handsome face, then looked into his doe eyes as she said, “Only you, Kookie. I only want and need you.”

Her words made Jungkook’s thrusts a little slower as he pressed his forehead to hers. His hand slipped down to rest on her stomach, and with a soft smile on his lips, he whispered, “Until our little one is here.”

Siri nodded, smiling the same way as him. “Until our little one is here,” she repeated.

With that, they kissed, making-out so passionately while Jungkook’s pace gradually quickened to the point where he was fucking his wife so good, she couldn’t say anything, just moans, mewls and whimpers left her lips. 

After their love-making was done, and after they were both clothed again and ready to eat breakfast, the couple chatted about when they should tell their loved ones the exciting news.

As much as Jungkook was eager to tell everyone straight away, he and Siri agreed to hold off until after the 13 week scan since the first trimester is where a lot could go wrong.

When that scan finally came, Jungkook sat beside Siri with his hand holding tightly to hers because it was going to be his first time seeing their little Kookoo.

As soon as the ultrasound started, Jungkook's eyes never left the screen in fear he would miss something. But just like every other big moment in his life with Siri, he teared up once he could see and hear the little heartbeat.

Siri squeezed his hand, smiling softly as she watched her husband more than the screen, where her own eyes became watery over his reaction alone.

Once the ultrasound was done, the couple didn't wait any longer to tell their friends and family—well, it was more like they couldn’t wait any longer. They decided to have a BBQ at the Jeon family mansion that weekend where only those they trusted and loved were invited. 

At the request of the couple, this also meant no Jennie or her father.

When Siri and Jungkook finally shared the news with their friends and family, tears, laughter and tight hugs were given all around. Then, it didn’t take long before Jin decided to make things a little fun.

“Alright,” he said to their friends, “place your bets. Boy or girl?”

Yoongi snickered, “Easy. It’ll be a boy.”

Namjoon chuckled, “What makes you say that?”

“Coz Kook is a strong and fast guy. He’s the golden maknae for a reason. I’m sure his golden male swimmers would’ve won the race.”

“That does make sense,” Hobi agreed. “A mini-Kookie is probably in there.”

“I’m goin’ with a girl,” Jessi said to them.

“Same,” Hwasa nodded. “A little Siri would be so adorable. Think about all the cute dresses we could dress her up in! She’ll be such a doll!”

Namjoon tilted his head side to side in thought. “Hmm… I’m putting money on a girl too.”

“I’m gonna say boy,” Jin said next, “coz Yoongi has a point.”

Not far from their friends, Siri and Jungkook couldn’t help but overhear the debate. 

“I hope it’s a little prince,” she murmured. “One who looks just like his appa.”

Jungkook’s heart practically melted on the spot. He placed his arm around Siri as he looked down at her. “I actually hope it’s a little princess,” he replied gently, brushing his thumb along her shoulder, “one who looks just like you. I hope they’ll have your blue eyes.”

Siri’s cheeks blushed a rosy pink, and as they both gazed at one another, everything around them faded. They leaned in without thinking and shared a soft, lingering kiss, but around them, people went silent as warm smiles curved on their lips while they watched the couple in their loving moment.

Everything was falling perfectly into place for Siri and Jungkook—however… Things were too good to be true, and happiness like that doesn’t always last. 

A week after the BBQ, Siri had to leave.

It was meant to be just for a few days; a small trip to Switzerland with her parents as her mother, Rose, was sick with the big C. They’re travelling together to get Rose settled into a specialised hospital that would give her the best possible care.

Jungkook was worried about his pregnant wife flying, but Siri reassured him that their doctor—and one of their best friends, Dr Kim Namjoon—said it was okay. 

“We’ve passed 13 weeks, Kookie,” she reminded him softly. “I’m just over 14 weeks now, and everything’s been good so far. Joonie said it was okay for me to fly.”

Jungkook still didn’t look convinced though, and his tummy was churning since something just didn’t feel right to him.

“I’ll only be gone for three days,” Siri added. “That’s not that long. We’ve been apart for longer before.”

Three days. It sounded short and it should be manageable, but Jungkook just couldn’t shake the feeling he had. His golden intuition was telling him that something was going to go wrong.

“I’ll come with you,” he insisted. “I want to be there. Your parents are my family too.”

Siri’s parents have always treated Jungkook like their own, calling him ‘son’ without hesitation, just like his parents did with Siri, calling her their precious daughter-in-law ever since she was a child, loving her as if she was their actual daughter. 

But Siri shook her head gently, stepping closer to Jungkook to hold his face. “You know you can’t come,” she says sympathetically. “The company event is on and you have to be there. One of us needs to represent us, and it has to be you.”

Jungkook exhaled with frustration. He wasn’t angry at Siri, but at the situation and the timing. He felt like he was stuck at a crossroads when all he wanted to do was stay right by her side.

In the end, he knew his wife was right that one of them had to be here for the company, and so he reluctantly nodded.

“Three days,” Jungkook repeated, more so to himself than to her.

He continued to tell himself that up until Siri had to leave two days later. Just three days, and then she’ll be back. She’s allowed to fly while pregnant. She and our baby will be okay.

But Jungkook should’ve kissed Siri longer the morning of her flight.

Even though he had made love to her the night before, he should’ve done it again that morning too. 

He should’ve held her just a little tighter when they hugged goodbye. He should’ve kissed her belly and said ‘I love you’ one more time to her and their baby.

Jungkook should’ve told Siri not to go, but he did let her go, believing there would be a next time because there always was a next time.

But not long after the plane Siri was on took off… Tragedy struck.

. .

“Breaking news just in! A private plane owned by Jack Dawson, a prominent business mogul and chairman of Dawson Industries, has reportedly malfunctioned mid-flight, and the aircraft is confirmed to have burst over the sea after an in-flight breakup. It was said to be carrying Jack Dawson himself, as well as his wife, Rose Dawson, and their daughter Serena Jeon. It is not yet known if there are any survivors, however, aviation officials have warned that it is unlikely anyone could have survived considering the circumstances.”

“So…” Eunwoo began, “you’ve only ever been with her since you were in your teens??”

Jungkook nodded and grinned with pride, “Actually, we’ve been together since we were four. But yeah, pretty much just me and her since forever.”

“And you’ve only ever slept with her?” Eunwoo asked, disbelief written all over his face. “No one else?”

“Nope,” Jungkook replied easily as he took a sip of his beer, still feeling proud of his and Siri’s strong relationship. “She’s my first for everything. I’m hers too. High school sweethearts—or more like childhood sweethearts, I guess. We’re arranged to marry by our dads, but that never meant anything to us. Our feelings have always been real and never forced.”

The thing is, everyone around campus knew Siri and Jungkook as the ‘it’ couple and the ‘sweethearts.’ They’re the ones who are arranged to be married and love each other regardless of that fact. But to a few people, they questioned whether their relationship would last since most highschool relationships don’t get that far. And some people (like Eunwoo and BamBam), couldn’t believe that the couple didn’t want to try being with other people.

Eunwoo stared at Jungkook, then his eyes flicked to BamBam, still with disbelief as if he was checking to see if they had just heard the same thing. 

“Damn, Kook,” Eunwoo let out a low chuckle, shaking his head. “Aren’t you at least a little curious? Like, even the tiniest bit, about what it’s like with other girls?”

Jungkook frowned immediately as the question rubbed him the wrong way. “No,” he said without hesitation. “Why would I be curious when I’m happy? Siri knows me better than anyone. She satisfies me in every way.”

BamBam tilted his head in a thoughtful manner rather than mockingly. “But how do you know that for sure? How do you know she really satisfies you, or that she’s the one, if you’ve never given anyone else a chance?”

Eunwoo nodded along, “Yeah, like don’t get us wrong, you two are ridiculously sweet together and it’s great your bond is strong, but if you’re arranged to marry anyway, why not actually live a little while you’re here? Experience the uni life. You know… while you’re young? Hook up and experiment with a few girls. Play out some fantasies like having threesomes and stuff. You’re a good-looking guy, dude, and trust us, we’ve seen plenty of girls who would love to give you a go. Don’t you wanna try?”

“And at least if you do hook up with other girls,” BamBam added, “you’ll know for sure if Siri really is the one.”

Jungkook didn’t say anything to that as he wanted to really think about their words. He is happy with Siri, he knows that… but what they said made that certainty he always had waver because they sort of had a point.

Over the next few days, Eunwoo and BamBam’s words crept into Jungkook’s mind, giving him an unsettling pressure in his chest. He started thinking that maybe he could be missing out on something. That maybe he should try seeing what it’s like with other people so then he’d know for sure what he wants.

By Tuesday afternoon, after three long days of overthinking, Jungkook finally cracked. When he and Siri were at their favourite ice-cream parlour for an afternoon treat, he mustered up the courage to talk to her about it.

While she was looking at the flavours, deciding what to get even though she always got the same ones in the end, Jungkook stood there watching her, and his chest ached so badly. 

This was his best friend. His person. His future wife. The idea of upsetting Siri with this topic made Jungkook feel sick. Even entertaining these thoughts made him feel like he was betraying her, but alas… he wanted to have this conversation. He and Siri always communicated well with each other if something bothered them, and this topic was really bothering him.

When the couple finally sat down to share their ice-cream cups together, rather than eat his ice-cream, Jungkook nibbled his lower lip with nervousness.

“Hey, baby…” he said, trying to sound casual. “Are you… happy being with just me?”

With the little spoon in her mouth, Siri’s eyebrows raised with surprise at the random question, and it made Jungkook think she was totally adorable. His heart ached straight afterwards again because he didn’t want to ruin this. He didn’t want to lose her just from asking some questions. 

But he’s already started the conversation unfortunately…

Siri smiled at him because the answer was so easy. She slipped the spoon out of her mouth before saying, “Of course I’m happy. Why do you even ask?”

Jungkook nodded as he swallowed thickly. His tummy felt like it was twisting in knots because he hated the thought of Siri with anyone else, but he just had to know if she was even a little bit curious to be with other people too. If she was, then maybe they could take a break from their relationship—or even open their relationship, do whatever they want to do with other people for a limited time, and then close their relationship back up so they’d only be for each other again.

“I was just um…” he started to say, trying to think of how to word things. “Well, I was wondering if you’ve ever thought about being with anyone else? Or, I don’t know… thought about experimenting? Sleeping with other people?”

Siri’s smile dropped instantly, just like her heart dropped so fast, it felt like she had just jumped out of a plane. 

She frowned at him, feeling a type of panicky feeling within her. “What?? Of course not! Where is this coming from, Koo?”

Seeing her pretty bright face turn to despair made Jungkook really hate himself for even bringing this up now. Siri obviously never had such thoughts—but neither did he, until recently.

“W-well I…” Jungkook stuttered, trying to not upset Siri more than he already had, but there really was no other way to go about this. He brought this conversation up, now he had to go through with it. And he can’t be anything but honest with her, like he always has been. 

“I-I was just wondering… Coz… You know… We’ve only ever had each other… And we’re together literally every day, and I was thinking like… w-what if we’re missing out on different sexual experiences? What if maybe we should get some stuff out of our system before we really settle down?”

Siri slowly dropped the little spoon into the ice-cream cup as she suddenly didn’t feel hungry anymore. Instead, dread filled her, and confusion and hurt came across her face because to her, this felt like Jungkook was projecting his feelings. Because why would he ask such questions unless he wanted it for himself, right?

“Is that what you want?” she asked in a soft, sad tone as she stared down at her melting ice-cream. “Am I not enough for you anymore?”

Jungkook’s heart dropped straight into his stomach. “No!” he said quickly. “No, that’s not it—”

“Then why are you even asking me this?” Siri cut in, looking him in the eyes while she could feel tears prickling behind hers. “Why are we even having this conversation at all unless it’s something you want?”

Jungkook looked away, unable to meet Siri’s watery eyes as he felt ashamed for having such thoughts. 

“It’s just… some guys at the party made me think about things,” he admitted softly. “They made it sound like it was crazy that we hadn’t been with other people. They reckon uni is the time to explore and have fun with others… Haven’t you ever wondered what it might be like with someone else?”

“No,” Siri answered instantly, so sure of her answer. “I’m happy with you so it never even crossed my mind.”

Relief washed through Jungkook hearing her say that, but then he also felt guilty.

“Honestly, it didn’t cross my mind either,” he murmured. “Not until they said something…”

Siri looked at him with worry behind her eyes, and that awful dreadful feeling still lingered inside her. “Is it what you want though, Koo?... Do you actually want to sleep with other people?” 

He looked down at his untouched ice-cream, heart racing and pounding so hard it hurt. He shrugged helplessly and ashamedly as he quietly said, “I don’t know…”

The words gutted Siri. Even Jungkook’s uncertainty hurt more than an outright answer.

“I know I don't wanna lose you though,” he added.

Siri stared at him, her chest feeling like she had been burned as she tried to blink away the stinging in her eyes. While him saying he didn’t want to lose her gave her some relief, what Jungkook was asking still hurt her deeply. 

Despite the pain she was feeling, Siri forced herself to really listen to him. Being with other people had never entered her mind; the idea alone made her stomach twist and lose her appetite. However, she could see the conflict written all over Jungkook’s face, and she could see that he was struggling with the idea too.

They had grown up side by side, shared basically every stage of life together, shared every routine, shared every version of themselves with each other all through school, home, and now university. Because of all those things they’ve experienced together, Siri understood where Jungkook was coming from, even if she didn’t like it. 

She understood how people in long term relationships could become curious, and how the fear of missing out could gnaw at you when you’ve only ever been with one person. She knew people could have fantasies and the question of ‘what if?’

Even though the thought of Jungkook with someone else made her feel sick, Siri knew his questions weren’t meant to hurt her. They came from confusion, curiosity, uncertainty, and from being young and dumb, scared of making the wrong choice too early.

They've hardly ever been apart and hardly ever had room to actually miss each other. So… maybe she and him should think about this a little more—or at least, Jungkook should—since it seemed like he wanted this.

“Okay… Well…” Siri swallowed thickly as her stomach churned. “I’ve never actually thought about it so, maybe… Maybe we need some time apart then…”

“Huh??” Jungkook said with his heart jumping—and he wasn’t sure if it was in a good way or a bad way. “So… what does this mean? We’re having a break?” he asked, a little confused.

“No,” Siri shook her head firmly. “I don’t believe in breaks. We’re not doing the Ross and Rachel thing from ‘Friends’ where everything’s unclear and we think we’re allowed to fuck other people.” 

Siri takes a deep breath to try calm herself because this conversation was really uncomfortable for her, but she needed Jungkook to know that they were not broken up—yet. And hopefully not at all.

“We’re not on a break or broken up,” she clarified. “We’re still together. I just think we need space—which is what I think couples should actually say instead of calling it a ‘break.’ I think some space might be good so we can really think about things without pressure from the other.”

Jungkook nodded as he swallowed hard, it freaking hurt his throat. Felt like a large piece of fruit was slowly sliding down his oesophagus. He didn’t feel good about this even though he was the one who brought this up initially.

“For how long?” he asked her in a small voice. “How long should we have space?”

Siri shrugged, “However long we need. A few days. A week. Whatever helps…”

Even though she said ‘we’ Siri didn’t mean it. She was only saying that to cushion the guilt she could see on Jungkook’s face. In her mind, she knew what she wanted. This wasn’t about her needing space or distance. She wasn’t the one questioning, she wasn’t the one unsure. 

The space wasn’t for her or for them. It was for him.

“We’re still together, okay?” Siri reiterated, trying to tell herself this more than him. “I love you and I’m just giving us time to think on this a bit more.”

Her words didn’t stop the way she felt though. Siri felt like she was standing at the edge of a cliff where she couldn’t see the bottom. She felt like this could be the beginning of the end already.

Jungkook nodded as he got up to sit next to her so he could hug her. “I love you too,” he mumbled into her neck. “Thank you for this… for being so understanding.”

Siri hugged him back, holding onto him longer and tighter than usual, but her heart ached with every second.

_________________________________________

Over the next couple of days, while the couple were still technically together, everything felt different. Things just felt heavier and like they were walking on eggshells. 

People around campus noticed almost immediately that something was off since the ‘it’ couple stopped arriving side by side. Jungkook walked into lectures alone instead of holding Siri’s hand. She sat with Hwasa and Jessi outside in the courtyard at lunch instead of sitting with the guys in the cafeteria who sat with Jungkook. In classes they usually shared, there were empty spaces between them, although neither couldn’t stop secretly glancing at the other when they thought the other wasn’t looking.

Whispers went around; some people said they broke up, others said they were just fighting. No one really knew what was going on though. 

However, during those two days apart, Jungkook was already missing Siri’s presence, just like she was missing his too. It just felt completely unnatural being without each other. 

He missed the way she would rub her pinky along his when they held hands. She missed nuzzling into his chest whenever they laid together on the couch or in bed. He missed getting his head scratched by her soft fingers. And she missed feeding him bits and pieces of whatever food she ate. They missed each other so much, but Siri knew Jungkook needed this time to think. 

And… unexpectedly… she didn’t realise she needed the time to think about things too.

With Jungkook, he asked the two hyungs he was living with, Namjoon and Hoseok, for some insight (Jin is a lawyer and Yoongi is a music producer, so they’re no longer at uni).

Funnily enough, Siri and Jungkook didn’t want to live together just yet, even though their parents offered to buy them an apartment near their uni. The two decided they’d live with their friends just to get a little bit of independence from one another—although, that didn’t really work since the majority of the time Jungkook would stay over at Siri’s place (where there was also Hwasa and Jessi) ‘cause he liked her bed better. And her shampoo. And because she cooked yummier meals while Namjoon and Hobi couldn’t really cook at all. And ‘cause that’s just where she was.

Yeah… the couple might as well have just lived together. 

But since they didn’t, Jungkook had to rely on his hyungs for advice. 

“Hey, uh… Can you guys tell me what it’s like being with different girls?” he asked his friends. “Does it feel different? Like, inside their… you know… Is there actually that big of a difference?”

“Oh yeah,” Namjoon answered honestly. “Every girl and every vagina is different.”

Hoseok nodded to agree, “Yeah, you can feel the ridges inside of them. Some feel tight, some don’t. If you’re going down on them, some smell and taste weird, some taste nice and sweet, or some don’t taste like anything at all.” He shrugged, “Each girl is definitely different."

Dammit, Jungkook thought as he frowned. His stomach twisted because he had hoped vaginas weren't that different so then he could forget about all this and not be so curious. 

“So…” the maknae continued to ask, “do you guys like that you get to sleep with different girls? Do you like the variety?”

“It can be nice sometimes,” Namjoon replied. “Depends on the girl, though. New can be exciting, but it’s not automatically better as it could be one hell of a shitty time.”

“Yeah,” Hobi agreed again. “You could meet a girl who knows exactly what she wants and knows what she’s doing. Or you could meet a starfish, someone who has absolutely no idea what the heck they’re doing. It’s like a lucky dip. You don’t know what you’re gonna get when you sleep around. Could be good, could be bad.”

Jungkook frowned deeper at that. Their answers didn’t really help, it just made him more confused.

Namjoon and Hoseok side-eyed each other when they noticed Jungkook’s confusion. They then looked at the maknae with concern. He and Siri had been part of their lives for as long as they could remember, always together and always so sure of each other. But the fact that Jungkook was suddenly questioning about sleeping with other girls didn’t sit right with either of them.

“Kook,” Namjoon said softly, “are you seriously thinking about risking what you have with Siri just to chase something that might not even be worth it?”

Jungkook suddenly felt like there was a huge freaking rock on his chest. Hearing Namjoon frame it like that made him realise that this wasn’t some harmless curiosity anymore. It was about him risking something incredibly important to him for something temporary and meaningless.

Shame and guilt started to overcome Jungkook. He started wondering how he had let Eunwoo and BamBam get under his skin. How did he let their words make him question something that had never once been an issue before. Sex with other people—along with the curiosity—never used to matter before because what he had with Siri had always been enough.

Stupid, Jungkook thought to himself. I was just so fucking stupid to listen to them.

“You know, Jungkookie,” Hobi started to say, “people can be totally happy only ever being with one person coz they don’t know what they’re missing out on. If you have something really good, then why bother looking elsewhere?”

“Exactly,” Namjoon agreed. “If it ain’t broke, don’t fix it. Coz you might not get what you had back.”

Jungkook’s heart dropped at that because his friends were right. He also didn’t consider that he and Siri might not get back together if they did separate. He couldn’t ever dream of marrying someone else, and this idea was only to explore and experience new things for a short time where in the end his heart would always go back to her. 

But what if she liked—no, what if she loved—some other guy more than him to the point that she’d cancel their arranged marriage?

Sure, Jungkook was slightly scared of missing out on the full college/university experience of fucking around, but he’s completely terrified of losing Siri. 

She is the one thing, the one person he can’t live without, and if she, for some reason, ever fell for someone else, Jungkook thinks he’d just die. There’d be no point in life anymore.

Like Hoseok said, people can be happy only ever being with one person because they don’t know what they’re missing out on. When Jungkook really thought about the other side of that, he would know what he’d be letting go of if he decided to chase that curiosity and if he tried to see what was ‘missing.’ 

He’d be letting go of his princess. Of his future queen. Of the future mother of his children. Of his first love. Of his only love.

Nope. No way. He couldn’t let that happen.

Screw whatever Eunwoo and BamBam said. Jungkook wasn’t going to let Siri go for some short, cheap thrill. She’s his one and only, and that’s how he wanted things to stay.

_________________________________________

“Hey, can I ask you guys something kinda personal?” Siri said to her two girl besties as they sat around the coffee table where they were about to study together.

“Of course. You can ask us anything, babes,” Jessi said eagerly. She and Hwasa had been dying to know what’s been going on with Siri and Jungkook ever since gossip went around campus the last two days. “What’s up?”

Siri bit her bottom lip. “Well, um… I was just wondering… What's it like being with different guys? Like… sexually?”

Hwasa and Jessi exchanged a glance as their eyebrows lifted slightly. This was weird for them to hear as they’ve only ever known Siri to want Jungkook, and vice versa.

“Well…” Hwasa began, “some guys are too big and can hurt, while some are smaller and can actually hit the spot better than you’d expect,” she smirks at herself, thinking back on a guy she last slept with who had a slightly smaller than average penis but he was her best fuck.

“Yeah, it’s a hit and miss,” Jessi added. “But honestly, gurl… The majority of men have no idea what the fuck they’re doing. They don’t know how to find the clit, they don’t know how to make us squirt, they don’t know how to handle big tiddies, and they don’t care about making us girls feel good.”

Hwasa nodded, “Yeah, most of them just focus on themselves; wham, bam, thank you ma’am!—and then it’s fucking over just like that,” she clicked her fingers. “Could be done in under a minute.”

Jessi pointed at Hwasa and nodded, “Oh yeah, I’ve had that happen! I can’t tell you how many times I’ve had to finish myself off! Fuckin’ selfish asses.”

Siri grimaced because all of that didn’t sound appealing at all. In fact, it put her off even more. “Ugh, that sounds horrible and not at all worth it.”

Hwasa smiled, “Exactly. But you don’t need to waste your time thinking about that coz you have Jungkookie, right? You guys know each other inside and out, and already know how to please one another.”

Siri pouted and shrunk in on herself at that. It made Jessi and Hwasa realise straight away that something was very wrong. 

“Okay, what’s going on between you and Jungkook, babes?” Jessi asked her softly. “Are the rumours of you two breaking up true?”

Siri shook her head as she looked down at her left hand, eyes going to where her promise ring sat on her ring finger where she fiddled with it with her thumb. Jungkook had given it to her as an 18th birthday gift, promising that one day he’d replace that ring with a real diamond engagement ring. 

“No, we’re not broken up,” Siri murmured, already feeling her eyes stinging because she felt that breaking up was something that was about to happen. 

“But he asked me if I’ve ever thought about sleeping with other guys… like, exploring and getting experiences with other people…”

Jessi and Hwasa winced as they glanced at each other.

“Ooh damn, gurrrl,” Jessi uttered, “that ain’t a good sign if he said something like that…”

Hwasa nodded sympathetically. “Yeah, when people do that… it usually means they’ve been thinking about it…”

Siri’s lower lip trembled as she nodded. “I know… That’s what I thought too. But Jungkook said he never actually thought about it until some guys at the party last weekend brought it up. And then he made a point that we’ve only ever known and been with each other, and I get that. I really do. I understand why all of that might mess with his head.” 

Siri pressed her lips together, blinking repeatedly to try stop her tears from coming. “But when I asked him straight up if he wanted to sleep with other girls, he said he didn’t know.”

A tear ended up escaping which Siri quickly wiped away. “He also said he didn’t want to lose me, but I can’t stop thinking that maybe I’m not enough for him anymore.”

“Hey, no,” Jessi said immediately, scooting closer and wrapping her arm around Siri’s shoulders. “Do not even go there.”

Hwasa slid herself closer as well, taking Siri’s hand to comfort her. “Yeah, you’re more than enough—for Jungkook or for any guy. You’re gorgeous, you’re smart, you’re not some rich barbie airhead. You’re kind, loyal, and you actually give a damn about things. That’s the whole package.”

“But then why did he bring it up?” Siri choked out as her tears finally fell. “If I’m enough for him, then why would he even think about it?”

Jessi and Hwasa didn’t answer that question since they already voiced why they thought Jungkook brought it up. There was no other reason except for him wanting to try it.

Siri sniffled and wiped her tears away with both palms. She already knew what her friends were thinking because she thought the same thing. 

“I really don't want anyone but him,” her voice croaked as she cried. “But I think… I think maybe I should break up with him just to give him this chance to sleep around…”

“Aww, Siri…” Hwasa said softly, her heart breaking for her best friend. “Are you sure about this?”

She shook her head, “No. I’m not sure…” she then glanced at her promise ring again as more tears slipped down her cheeks. “But I don’t want him to resent me one day. Or feel trapped. Or cheat on me because he thinks he missed out on something…”

Jessi frowned, brushing Siri’s hair back with care. It was obvious that this wasn’t what she wanted at all, and she was only thinking this because she feared what might be inevitable.

“Hey,” Jessi said gently, “Don’t rush into breaking up with him. Just think on it a little more, yeah?”

Siri nodded along, wiping at her cheeks. “Yeah,” she rasped out. “I will.”

But deep down, Siri had already made up her mind because she just wasn't able to unhear Jungkook’s question. She wasn’t able to forget the hesitation in his voice or the confusion in his eyes. Even if he never acted on his curiosity, the thought would always be there sitting between them…

And Siri didn’t want to live with wondering if she was holding him back.

_________________________________________

The next morning on Friday, only three days after Jungkook first brought that topic up, Siri asked him to meet her in the campus car park. It’s where they usually met up so they could walk together hand-in-hand through campus to their first class.

Jungkook arrived hopeful, with his hands shoved into his hoodie pockets, and a small smile already forming when he saw her park up. Even though his mind had been tangled and unsettled all week, one thing felt certain in his heart and soul.

He wanted to be with Siri.

The idea of sleeping with other people didn’t sit right with him at all, and it never really had to begin with. The curiosity didn’t even really feel like his own, and that’s because it wasn’t. It was something other people had put into his head.

What Jungkook did know, and what he had been sure of every morning he woke up, was that Siri is the person he wanted to be with every day.

Unfortunately, she had come to a different conclusion.

As she walked closer to Jungkook, Siri’s heart pounded in her chest and in her ears. She knew she might be acting too quickly, but the longer she sat with it, the more unbearable it felt. 

She didn’t want to drag this out, and she didn’t want days or weeks of wondering if she was holding Jungkook back, or watching him wrestle with guilt and temptation. She just wanted to rip the bandaid off despite knowing it would hurt her.

If this was something Jungkook needed to figure out, then she didn’t want to be standing in his way. If breaking up meant he could explore without resentment and without regret, then so be it.

Jungkook’s smile widened as Siri stepped closer to him, relief washing through him the moment she was within arm’s reach. The past two, almost three days apart already felt like torture, and he hated how empty everything felt without her beside him. 

“Hey, baby,” he said softly with warmth in his voice as he reached for her hand out of habit.

“Hey…” she replied.

Jungkook didn’t notice the change in her demeanour right away. He was too focused on the familiar comfort of her fingers sliding into his, as well as that reassuring feeling that came with touching her again. 

He started to take a step forward, already assuming they’d walk across campus together like they always did, but Siri squeezed his hand and pulled him back.

“Actually um…” she said softly, stopping him before he could take another step. “I want to talk to you about something.”

Jungkook frowned, his eyebrows knitting together with a little confusion. “What is it?”

Siri slowly slipped her hand out of his, and the absence of her touch instantly felt wrong to Jungkook, making a sense of dread come to him. 

Siri took a deep breath, her heart pounding the hardest it’s ever done, then she said the words neither of them ever thought would come out of her mouth.

“I want to break up.”

Jungkook’s heart dropped straight into his stomach. 

“W-what??” he said with disbelief. “You’re… you’re breaking up with me??”

Siri saw the panic flash across his face and it nearly broke her resolve. But in her mind, she truly believed this was the right thing for them—well… the right thing for him.

“Yes,” she said, forcing herself to stay composed even though her own heart ached. “I did my thinking over the last couple of days, and I think you were right. We’ve only ever been with each other and I think that should change. I think we should explore and see what it’s like with other people. And that obviously can’t happen if we’re together, so… breaking up makes sense, doesn’t it?”

Jungkook felt himself go pale. He never imagined his own words would come back to him like this and hurt him this way. In that moment, he wondered if Siri felt this badly too when he said the same thing a few days ago. He immediately hated himself that he may have caused her to feel this horribly, and he really regretted bringing up that topic.

“A-Are you serious?” he asked shakily.

“Yep, I am,” Siri answered, plastering on a smile that didn’t fully reach her eyes. She needed to look confident. She needed him to believe she wanted this so he wouldn’t feel guilty for having brought this idea up in the first place. 

“Go and have your fun. Live that uni life, and—oh, here…” she glanced down at her left hand where she slid the promise ring off her finger. She felt a lump form in her throat and her heart broke a little more as she held it out to him.

“You should have this back,” she said, trying to keep her voice steady. “I don't want to feel like I'm still yours if I'm going to be giving other people a try too."

Her words practically stabbed Jungkook in the chest. He really felt like a knife or an arrow had pierced him. He couldn’t move and he couldn’t reach for the ring. All he could think was that he never imagined this. He never imagined her giving the ring back. 

And the thought of her with other men… Suddenly Namjoon’s words from last night flashed into Jungkook’s mind. If it ain’t broke, don’t fix it. Coz you might not get what you had back.

Oh god, it’s happening! he started to think. Fuck. What have I done?

Siri noticed Jungkook’s hesitation, but she was sure this was still the right thing to do. Before she could go back on her decision, she grabbed his hand and pressed the ring into his palm, closing his fingers around it.

“There,” she said too cheerily. “Okay, so… we’re done! You’re a free man now, Kookie!”

Jungkook still couldn’t say anything. He stood frozen, staring down at the ring in his hand as if it was a foreign object. God, and the way Siri sounded… so upbeat and so sure about this… it almost hurt worse than the breakup itself.

She actually wants this??

With no answer from Jungkook, Siri felt a little awkward and decided it was time to leave. Time to truly break this. 

“Well…” she said softly, taking a step back from him as she kept that enthusiastic smile on her face. “I guess I’ll see you around then. I hope you’ll enjoy whatever’s out there.”

Then she turned and walked away, squeezing her eyes shut tightly for a few seconds to stop herself from breaking down.

Meanwhile, Jungkook stayed where he was, staring at the ring in his palm, then at Siri’s retreating back.

So that’s it… he thought numbly while his eyes started to water. We’re over. I’m… I’m apparently free… I don’t have to be curious anymore… I can explore. I can experiment…

Jungkook swallowed thickly, trying to keep the bile down and hold back his tears. But why does all this make me feel like I’m going to vomit? 

He really wanted to cry. He wanted to scream and tell Siri to come back. That he didn't want this at all. 

But… he had asked for this, didn’t he? 

Jungkook felt like an utter idiot. He felt like he had made the hugest mistake of his life for bringing this whole idea between them.

It didn’t take long for word to quickly spread across campus. A few students who entered through the car park that morning saw enough to piece it together, and by the end of the first lecture, everyone knew that the ‘it’ couple was over.

Jungkook felt people’s eyes on him everywhere he went, staring at him with curiosity and like they were hungry for details of why he and Siri broke up. It made his skin crawl.

However, what shocked him more was how fast some girls moved. Before lunchtime, as he was walking to his next lecture, they started approaching him with smiles that were too soft and voices that were too sympathetic.

“Aww, I heard about you and Siri…” “If you need someone to talk to, I’m here.” “You know you don’t have to be alone tonight, right?…”

A few didn’t even bother pretending it was about comfort. They made their intentions clear by telling him upfront that they could help him get over Siri by giving him a good time in their bed.

Jungkook felt both irritated and disgusted with them all. He’s already dealt with girls who flirted with him while he was with Siri—that was nothing new. But this? Going after him the same day he got his heart broken? It felt cruel, desperate, and it was really fucking low. Turned Jungkook right off—not that he was ‘on’ anyway.

Later that night, Namjoon and Hoseok dragged Jungkook to another Jackson Wang party, insisting he needed the distraction. 

But when he was there, leaning against a wall with a beer in his hand, all while staring blankly at nothing as his other hand fiddled with Siri’s promise ring hidden in his front pocket, all Jungkook could think was that he didn't want to be here at all. He just wanted to be in his bed, look at photos of him and Siri, and cry his damn eyes out since he hasn’t had the chance to do that yet. He hasn't been able to grieve the end of his relationship.

And annoyingly, the party was where Jennie tried her luck.

She slid up beside him with a confident smile, acting like this was her moment, as if she had been waiting for this exact opportunity where Jungkook is single.

However, he felt even more irritation and revulsion as soon as he saw her. Jungkook has never liked Jennie ever since that day he saw her when he was four years old, where she stomped all over another kid's sand castle.

Siri hated her with a passion since Jennie always took her things and broke them when they were younger, plus Jennie always flirted or tried to get Jungkook's attention at every family-friend gathering, even while knowing that he and Siri were a thing.

Their entire friend group also didn't really like Jennie since she was a bratty princess.

Seeing her try to flirt with him when he hasn't even been broken up for that long made a hateful fire burn within Jungkook.

She tried to say similar things as the other girls, but he cut her off without hesitation.

“Jennie, stop,” he said bluntly with a bite to his tone. “We’re never gonna happen. Not now. Not ever.”

She stared at him with wide eyes, not expecting that at all.

“There is no situation,” he continued, “where I would get with you. Not now when I’m single. Not if I’m drunk. And not even if you and I were the last people on earth.”

Not wanting to give her a chance to say anything, Jungkook turned and walked away with his chest feeling hot, his heart still freshly broken and aching, and he still had the promise ring in his pocket, making him feel heavy and empty at the same time.

All day, people treated his breakup like an opening, and all Jungkook could feel was annoyance, disgust, heartbreak, and discomfort. He was free now, sure, but he hated every second of it.

Jungkook wanted to leave the party and he had every intention to go home, but as he walked through the crowd and was coming up to the kitchen area, he heard two familiar voices that made him stop in his tracks just before he rounded the corner.

“Are you okay, Siri?” he heard Hoseok say to her gently. “Like… are you even sure about this breakup?”

Siri let out a shaky breath that sounded nothing like okay. “No. I’m not really okay, and I didn’t actually want to break up.” 

Jungkook froze, his heart pounding hard at Siri’s admission. If she didn’t want to break up then why’d she do it?

His question was about to be answered though…

“But Jungkook obviously had doubts about being with just me,” she continued, her voice filled with hurt. “He seemed quite curious about sleeping with other girls because why else would he have brought it up in the first place?”

Jungkook felt his chest and stomach twist, and he couldn't help but wince at himself for making that mistake.

“And because I love him…” he heard Siri carry on. “I thought letting him go would be the right thing to do so he can go and experience those things without feeling guilty. I don’t want him to end up resenting me, or—” her voice cracked, and it made Jungkook’s heart crack too. “—or to end up cheating on me one day…”

Jungkook felt his heart drop once again where he could feel it in the pit of his stomach, and his eyes stung as tears came through. He hated himself so badly at that moment. He had no idea he had put those fears into Siri’s head. He wished he could go back in time where he never let anyone’s words affect him to the point he started questioning something he was always so sure of.

Siri. With him. Always. 

But then she said something that made his blood run cold.

“I’m actually thinking about transferring universities.”

“What? Why??” Hoseok sounded startled. 

“Coz I can’t be here, Hobi,” she said with what sounded like pain and sorrow. “I can’t watch Jungkook flirt with other girls, or see him go home with them. I don’t want to hear people gossip about who he slept with, or how good it was. I think I’d slowly deteriorate and like… die or something.”

A hot tear slipped down Jungkook’s cheek as he swallowed the hugest lump in his throat he’s ever had. It freaking burned, just like his eyes burned. His chest felt all tight making it hard for him to breathe, and his stomach flipped with regret and guilt. His hands turned hot white too from how hard he was clenching them, trying to stop the hurt he felt from causing his first (and only) love such heartbreak.

“I think I’ll talk to my dad tomorrow,” he heard Siri say. “Just to see what my options are… Might even ask if I really have to go through with the arranged marriage…”

Panic slammed into Jungkook at that last part. Oh hell no!  No, no, no, no, no!

He didn’t want this. He didn’t want her gone. He didn’t want her leaving the university, leaving their shared world, leaving him. The thought of losing Siri for good made Jungkook ache in a way that felt like he had been physically punched in the chest. 

He heard her sniffle before she cleared her throat to speak some more. “I’m gonna head home anyway, Hobi. I just want to cuddle the Cooky bunny Kookie gave me, and cry my eyes out till I can’t cry anymore.”

It was actually sort of a little funny to Jungkook, hearing Siri say she wanted to go home and cry, because he’s been wanting to do that too. They’re two peas in a pod, really. 

“Aww, Siri…” Jungkook heard Hobi say pitifully. “Do you want me to find the girls to go home with you?”

“No, it’s okay,” she sniffled. “They’re having a good time, and I don't wanna ruin things for them. I’ll just go to the bathroom first and then order an uber. I’ll see you around, okay?”

This is it! Jungkook thought. This was his chance to make things right!

He followed her down the hallway, heart pounding so loud it drowned everything and everyone out. He didn’t even notice the few girls who smiled at him. He only had her in his sights. 

Siri reached the bathroom but before she could even turn around to close the door, Jungkook slid inside and quickly locked the door behind him.

“Hey—what—” She was startled someone had snuck in, but when she saw who it was, her eyes widened and her breath hitched. “Koo?? What are you—”

“I don’t want this!” he blurted out straight away. “I don’t want this breakup at all!”

Siri froze up and all she could do was stare at Jungkook, watching as his pretty face crumpled with what looked like pain as tears fell down his cheeks. 

“I don’t want to sleep around,” he started to ramble with desperation. “Never really wanted it, and I know I never will. I’d never resent you and I’d never cheat on you. You know me, I’d never do that to you. I swear. I promise. I’m so, so fuckin’ sorry I even brought it up. I was stupid. I’m an idiot. I let other people's words get into my head and I hate myself for it.” 

Jungkook then reached for Siri’s hand and dropped to his knees. “Please don’t leave,” his voice cracked with a tone sounding so broken as he begged. “Please don’t transfer. Please don’t go. Don’t leave me. Please, please, please, don’t leave me.”

Right at that moment, seeing him so desperate and scared, all Siri could see was that little four year old prince she met all those years ago, and all she wanted to do was comfort him. 

She stepped forward and wrapped her arms around Jungkook’s shoulders, holding him tight just as he basically squeezed the life out of her, completely afraid to lose her. He pressed his face into her tummy, and his body shook uncontrollably as he bawled.

“Hey, hey, hey,” Siri cooed while hugging him and scratching the back of his head. “It’s okay, Koo. It’s okay. Calm down and breathe. Just breathe for me.”

“M sorry, ‘m sorry, ‘m sorry. ‘M so fucking sorry,” he mumbled into her stomach as he continued to sob.

Siri’s heart ached so much as she could really feel how devastated Jungkook was. It made her start tearing up too because she was so relieved to hear him say what he did, but she was also hurt because he was hurting. 

“You need to stop crying, Kookie, otherwise I’m gonna cry too.”

She pulled away a little bit so she could hold his red, teary face gently, wiping his cheeks with her thumbs. 

“Everything’s okay, alright?” she said softly as her eyes went glossy and wet as she gazed down at him. “I won’t leave and we won’t be broken up if you really don’t want that.”

“I don’t want it,” Jungkook said instantly as he stood back up, landing his forehead against hers as he held her by the waist. “I mean it. I don’t want anyone else. I don't wanna fuck around. I don’t care if I miss out on anything coz missing you and being without you is worse. Want just you. Only you, Siri. I love you so much, so please, please don't leave me and take me back.” 

Siri started crying now, overwhelmed by how panicked and broken Jungkook looked. She had never seen him like this before, and she didn’t like it. She needed to make him feel better.

“Oh, my sweet prince,” she cooed at him, trying to smile through her tears as she leaned in to kiss his nose softly. “I love you too and I won’t go anywhere, okay? I’m still yours and you’re still mine.” 

Oh thank god! Jungkook thought as relief rushed through him. 

Warmth coursed through him when Siri started kissing around his tear stained face, and when her lips eventually brushed over his, Jungkook couldn’t hold it in. He leaned in and captured her mouth with his, kissing her with everything he’s got. He even whimpered into the kiss. 

He pulled her close against his body, needing to feel her heart against his chest, needing the reassurance of her mouth against his. She kissed him back with the same fervour, holding him just as tightly.

“Need you~” he whined against her lips. “Three days without you and I hated every second. Less than 15 hours since we broke up and I couldn’t take it.” He kissed her again. “Need you so bad, baby, please…”

“I’m right here, Koo. I’m right here and all yours.”

Jungkook whined into Siri’s mouth as his hands slid down to firmly squeeze her ass. She was in a little black dress, so he tugged the hem up before gripping her butt cheeks again. He then lifted her without separating their lips, settling her on the edge of the bathroom sink where his body fitted perfectly between her legs.

Their hands wasted no time; hers went to his pants where she undid the zipper and button. His right hand went straight to her pussy, fingers sliding over her panties where he rubs her nub a little first before pulling the lace material to the side. He slipped his middle finger inside her while pressing his thumb on her clit, rubbing circles over it while his finger curled and vibrated inside her walls. 

Jungkook knew Siri’s body as if it was his own. He knew the rhythm and pressure she liked that made her mewl and whine. He knew how to touch her to make her putty in his hands. He knew how to make her all wet and ready for him. 

Siri pushed the denim of Jungkook’s jeans apart and down his hips, then her hand slipped inside the waistband of his boxer briefs. Her fingers wrapped around his rock hard length to stroke him, making him break their kissing with a deep groan as his forehead fell to her shoulder.

“Fuck, baby…” he choked out. He loved the way she’d stroke his whole length, and she even made sure her fingers would massage his balls for a moment before stroking back up his member again. Obviously, she knew him inside out, too. 

That’s the benefit of being each other’s first and only lover. They were able to explore and experiment, and get to know how the other liked things done.

Siri squeezed his cock, tugging him closer, and Jungkook took the hint. With a final, lingering circle of his thumb on her clit, he slid his fingers away from her warm, slick folds, already glistening with her arousal.

He quickly licked his fingers clean then reached between them where his hand replaced Siri’s on his hard, throbbing cock. He positioned his tip at her entrance, and with one swift thrust, he was deep inside her, the base of his cock kissing her pussy. 

He groaned at the feeling of her walls welcoming him home while she whimpered at how deep he felt. Siri then wrapped her arms tightly around Jungkook’s shoulders, and her legs locked around his ass as he started to move.

More soft whimpers and mewls escaped her lips as he fucked into her frantically, his hips thrusting into her in a passionately desperate way. He just wanted to be inside her so bad. Wanted to show her that he really loves her. He wanted to make her feel good after making her feel heartbroken these last few days.

Siri could feel what Jungkook’s body was trying to convey, and it made her chest go warm. She tightened her arms and legs around him, letting him know she loves him too, and that she understands.

She was becoming so wet, her arousal soaked Jungkook’s length, making it so easy for him to go faster. To slam into her and hear those lovely sounds that slipped from her lips. The sound of their skin slapping together filled the small bathroom, mingling with their ragged breaths and muffled moans. Siri was absolutely creaming around Jungkook’s cock, her pussy tightening with every stroke as if it had missed him just as much as he had missed her. 

They kissed some more, tongues colliding and moans were swallowed by each other’s mouths.

"God, you feel so good," Jungkook muttered against Siri’s lips. "Missed you so much, baby." 

"Mmm–missed you too, Koo…" she breathed out as her legs pulled him in closer. 

Jungkook didn’t hold back at all. His pace quickened, fucking into Siri in a way that made him feel totally lost in euphoria.

But then he wanted more. He wanted her closer than this. 

With a strong grip on her ass, Jungkook lifted Siri off the sink, turned around, then he pressed her back against the bathroom door. Their bodies were closer together now with no space between them. It was perfect. It’s just what he wanted. 

He fucked up into her, making the door rattle loudly behind her. He then angled his hips in that way he knew would hit her spongy g-spot, and it caused Siri to bite her bottom lip, trying to control her moans as pleasure filled her.

“No, don't hold back, baby,” Jungkook rasped. “Let it out. Let people hear us so they know you’re mine. So they know I’m yours again.”

Siri listens to her man and lets go. Her moans grew louder and unrestrained as Jungkook pounded into her harder and faster against the door, making it rattle louder and bang on its hinges.

“Oh fuck! Kook! I’m close, I’m close!” she cried out as she dug her nails into his shoulders and her legs tightened around him. "Don’t stop! Please, don’t stop!" 

Of course he wouldn’t stop. Not when she felt like this, and not when she was his again.

Jungkook pumped his cock into Siri at an unrelenting pace now, feeling her wetness soak him even more as her walls pulsed around him.

“Goddayum,” he growled. “Gonna love this pussy and only this pussy forever. It’s only you, baby. Only you, ya got that?”

Siri whined and mewled, her body tightening around him as her orgasm approached. When it finally hit... “Yes! Yes! Yes! Fuck, Koo—only you for me too! O-oohh~!”

The sensation of her coming undone pushed Jungkook over the edge. He did a few hard thrusts before he let out a guttural groan, burying himself deep inside his lover, spilling his hot seeds in quick bursts that coated her walls. 

His hips then slowed to a stop, but he kept Siri pinned against the door, keeping her pussy plugged with his cock. Both drop their foreheads onto each other, letting out their breaths as they come down from the highs.

“I love you, Siri,” Jungkook said breathlessly.

“I love you too, Kookie,” she replied softly.

They both tilted their heads at the same time, connecting their lips in a slow and tender kiss, with no doubts between them anymore. 

But then… Knock knock knock!

“Hey lovebirds!” a voice came through on the other side of the door. Both Siri and Jungkook recognised it as the host of the party, Jackson Wang. 

“Sounds like you two have made up in there, and while I’m happy for you guys, my bladder is about to fuckin’ burst, man! There’s also like, three other people out here needing to take a piss since my other bathrooms are occupado, so are you two gonna be much longer?”

Giggles came from the couple, and Jungkook called back that they’d be out in a minute. He helped Siri clean up the mess between her legs while she fixed his hair, and then both of them gently wiped away the tear stains left behind on the other’s face.

When they finally opened the door, Jackson shoved past them like the wind, muttering a very relieved, “Oh, thank fuck,” as he clutched his groin and disappeared inside.

Hand in hand, Siri and Jungkook walked back through the party and out of the house. As they left, they were greeted by knowing smiles and satisfied grins from their friends because the ‘it’ couple was back where they belonged.

Within minutes, gossip started spreading that they were together again. Some people expected it while others laughed at the fact that they hadn’t even managed to stay broken up for a full day.

It's the first and only time a break up ever happened to the couple. Jungkook made sure of it, because…

The next morning, while Siri was still peacefully asleep in his bed, Jungkook made a phone call to a very important person.

“Well hello, my son,” his father said brightly. “To what do I owe this pleasure so early in the morning?”

Jungkook chuckled, “Hey, Appa. I’m calling because… well… It’s to do with Siri.”

“Is everything okay? You’ve been taking care of my favourite daughter-in-law, yes?”

Jungkook smiled to himself, loving how his parents loved Siri, too. 

“She’s your only daughter-in-law, but yes—well, actually no…” he answered honestly. “I said something stupid at the beginning of the week, but Siri and I are okay now.”

“Okay, that’s good. I’m glad to hear that. So what is it about her you wanted to talk about?”

Jungkook took a deep breath in to sort of prepare himself. 

“Well… You know how I always said I wanted to wait until graduation day to propose to her? I’ve changed my mind. I don’t wanna wait that long. I want to propose to Siri on her birthday. Do you think you can help me find her a ring sometime soon?”

Jungkook’s father smiled into the phone, “Well of course, my boy! I’d be honoured to help.”