Heartbreaker

Losing you wasn’t just a bad breakup, it was a heartache I would never get over. It wasn’t going out with friends to forget you, it was waking up at 3 am crying your name out. It wasn’t eating my heart out with ice cream and watching sad movies, it was getting physically sick every time I ate something it was eating crackers for days because that was the only thing I could keep down. It wasn’t going out to parties and kissing random boys to forget you, it was laying in bed for days staring at the ceiling and having no motivation to get up. It was taking the long way to class so I wouldn’t accidentally bump into you. It was sitting in class and trying my hardest not to break down crying. It was looking at our pictures and reading our old texts breaking down crying because I thought we were meant to last. It was constantly blaming myself for the way things ended.

I want you to know if you ever, even for a second, regret your decision and want me back; If you ever look at old photos of us and miss what we had; If you miss having someone there who cares for you like I did; Please text me or call me because I will be there, and I hope and pray with every part of me that the day will come where you realise you can’t live without me because I really can’t do this without you.

“when is the right time to stop. when is the right time to stop waiting for something to happen that isn’t going to and quit. when is the right time to stop giving second chances. when is the right time to stop fighting for people who wouldn't fight back for you. when is the right time to put your foot down. when is the right time to stop letting it go. when is the right time to say i have had enough. when is the right time to stop crying. when is the right time to start living for yourself”

“death isn’t the only way to lose someone you love. i lost my closest friends when i graduated high school. i lost my friends when they moved away to foreign countries. i lost my friends to misunderstanding and conflicts. i lost the boys i once loved to prettier girls. i lost faith in love with broken relationships and broken hearts. i lost my innocence to the cigarettes i smoked under peer pressure. i lost myself last summer to stupid drunken mistakes. i lost so much in the past year yet you’ve only asked me if i am okay when i lost someone to death .death isn’t the only way to lose someone you love.”

“I saw something that reminded me of you. I wanted to show you, but then I remembered that we don’t talk anymore.”

“you broke me yet i still think of you as the greatest person and that’s how i know that i truly did love you”

“You’re not in love with me, not really, you just love the way I always made you feel. Like you were the centre of my world. Because you were. I would have done anything for you.”

I can’t

it was white with sunlight and our breath was wildflowers. our skin was the bloom of spring and when she danced she moved like candlelight is what i’m trying to say. the smoke of her lips and the rasp of her voice and i sat there looking at her from the passenger seat thinking surely this how people feel when they cry meeting superstars. a love like that. a love like that. i don’t know. i can’t write anymore. we would’ve made a wonderful poem is what i’m trying to say.