An Ecstasy Of Fumbling @smirnoffpasta - Tumblr Blog

to make it more lynchian can't you read

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bogleech

You know, as the concept of “zombifying fungi” becomes more and more popular, I notice it still referred to everywhere as like a “brain parasite.” So I guess a lot of people overlooked or forgot how in 2019 it was discovered that cordyceps and other similar fungal parasites leave the brain and nervous system completely untouched. They only control the muscles. They use chemical signals to make the muscles flex in real time where they want to go :)

bogleech

It’s funny how many people are replying “but that’s worse!” like you didn’t know that’s exactly why I put a smiley

acegodzilla

dextro-transposition

[ID: A screenshot of two consecutive Tumblr comments by user evilkitten3. The first comment reads:

that’s so much better idk what these guys are on about

The second comment reads:

my fingers are typing this of their own free will, if anyone was wondering

/.End ID]

marian-devotee

I took my little brother (autistic, mostly non verbal) out and he was using his voice keyboard to tell me something, and this little boy (maybe 4 or 5?) heard him and asked me "Is he a robot??" I tried to explain to him that no, he isn't a robot, he just communicates differently, but my darling brother was in the background max volume "I am robot I am robot I am robot I am robot"

marian-devotee

My little brother insisted if I was going to post about him, he wanted a cut of the "profits". When I explained to him that Tumblr isn't monetized, and is pretty pointless, he and my older brother pointed out that he'd still be bringing me "fame and notoriety" if the post got "big". So we agreed, if the post hit 10k notes, which seemed extremely farfetched and silly at the time, I'd take my little brother out for sushi (his favorite food) and let him eat as much as he wants.

I guess God wanted the little robot to enjoy some sushi 🍣 🥲

thetruerarkher

inhaletheswans

"A Wall, Nassau”, Winslow Homer, 1898.

talas-first-lady

anumberofcatschilling

[Image Description: post on X by thomas🍌 (@/perfectsweeties) that reads

me: basically when u walk through a doorway your mind resets itself to take in new information causing u to forget what u came for in the first place

archduke franz ferdinand: so you don't remember why you time traveled here

me: i do think it was probably important

End ID]

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baddywronglegs

Slow train journeys in rural England sure are an experience. You're going ten miles and it takes a day and a half because it stops at every lamp-post and the announcement says "The next station stop is Ferretley" or something and you think "I didn't know that was a place" and you get there and it isn't

baddywronglegs

Last stop was literally a picket fence, enough chopped wood to build another picket fence and, briefly, a train.

baddywronglegs

My guy Ferretby was barely builded here

baddywronglegs

Two clarifications:

Ferretby's name has been changed to protect the identities of it and its resident(s)

I specify slow trains to distinguish from the other two types of train in England: Delayed and Cancelled

perkymcbadsuit

screampotato

Suddenly struck with a need to explain to you how boat pronouns work (I work in the marine industry).

When you're talking about the design of the boat, you say "it".

When the boat is still being built, your say "it".

When the boat is nearing completion, you can say "it" or "she".

When the boat is floating in the water you probably say "she", unless there is still a lot of work to be done (e.g. no engine yet) then you say "it".

When the boat is officially launched and operating, you say "she". If you continue to say "it" at this point you are not incorrect but suspiciously untraditional. You are not playing the game.

If you are referring to a boat you don't really know anything about you may say "it" ("there's a big boat, it's coming this way"). But if you know its name, it's probably "she" ("there's the Waverley, she's on her way to Greenock").

If you are talking about boats in general, you say "it" ("when a boat is hit by a wave it heels over")

If you speak about a boat in complimentary terms, it's "she" ("she's a grand boat"). If you are being disparaging it may be it, but not necessarily ("it's as ugly as sin", "she's a grotty old tub").

If she has a boy's name, she's still she. "Boy James", "King Edward", "Sir David Attenborough"? The pronoun is she.

If it's a dumb barge (no engine), you say it. But if it's a rowing boat (no engine), you say she.

I hope this has cleared things up so that you may not be in danger of misgendering floating objects.

glitched-out-mess

theramblingvoid

Hit "view post" and lost it

unstablecryptid

idk how many more "higher temperature is expected today"s i got left in me

animentality

#aggravate your local Christians by referring to Easter as Christian mythology Im casual conversation

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navigatorsnorth

Phenomenal spare wheel cover I walked past the other day

tinyyellowflowers-blog

After school care pulled me aside about my child dropping an f-bomb “without remorse” and I put on my concerned face and nodded a bunch.

Apparently he was building something with a younger kid “who really looks up to him and is just starting to make friends” and said “Hey, you’re really fucking good at this.” which is, in my estimation, really a parenting victory.

tinyyellowflowers-blog

I absolutely failed at doing this:

ryan-sometimes

LMAOOOO

furnishedfurnace

"I have a problem with my trans son. Not because he's trans, but because he inhaled all our food like fucking Kirby."

This is the best description I’ve heard for this method, I always thought it was bullshit because I never heard a description that actually explained how to do this other than “tap your head 20 times”.

I have anxiety-induced hissing, which sounds/feels different from sound-induced tinnitus (which I have also experience). Sound-based tinnitus actually sounds like you’re “hearing” something in your ears, whilst the hissing I have feels like it’s “inside my head”, if that makes sense. But this technique still helps!!

mieaouy

Here’s a visual I found because I couldn’t understand the instructions well

sushinfood

My ringing just went away for the first time in years. What is this blissful quiet.

roseverdict

wait wait i gotta try this, i don’t think i’ve had Actual Silence since i was like 5

roseverdict

HOW THE FUCK

alex51324

Reblogging to save a life, and also because, even if you don’t have tinnitus, this is totally worth trying if you like new sensory experiences.

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