𝔼𝕧𝕒

Harry: Fuck you Malfoy

Draco: No Fuck you

Harry: FUCK YOU

Draco: NO YOU

Harry: I SWEAR MALFOY.... fuck you

Draco: ...fine

Ron: Bloody hell what just happened

Pansy: It’s there stupid code, there arguing who’s gonna top

Pansy: What do you mean by like?!

Draco: You’re not helping Pansy

Pansy: WHAT DO YOU MEAN BY LIKE?!

Draco: Jeez ok I guess I like his hair...

Pansy: Like you wanna run your hands through it

Draco: What?! Ew! No! Of course not...why would you say that... I definitely wouldn’t... want to...hold hands with him... or kiss him on the lips-

Pansy: Draco

Draco: Huh what?

Draco: I haven’t been ignoring you Harry, I’ve just been busy

Harry: With what?! What are you not telling me! I’m your boyfriend so please communicate with me!

Draco: I-I can’t

Harry: What do you mean you can’t, I feel like you’re slipping through my fingers...

Draco: Please don’t say that!

Harry: A-Are you cheating on me?

Draco: WHAT! No it’s nothing like that!

Harry: Then what is it Draco! You have been distancing your self from me more and more! So tell me, so I don’t have to think the worst

Draco: B-But you haven’t thought the worst have you?

Harry: What are you saying?

Draco, starting to cry: I got a letter a week ago

Harry: Ok...

Draco, crying: My mum- s-she...

Harry: Oh Draco...I’m so sorry, I didn’t know...

Draco: It’s fine, it’s fine I don’t blame you, I just didn’t want to tell you because if I told anyone then I knew it would be r-real...

Harry: What?

Draco: Because if you were, you wouldn’t have married me

Harry: What is that supposed to mean?

Draco: I’m saying that if you were smart then you would have seen how much of a disappointment I am to have as a husband

Harry: Hey... don’t say that, what made you think that!? I love you Draco and you could never be a dissappoinment to me!

Harry, frowning: Come here

Draco, starting to cry: *Crawls into Harry’s arms*

Harry: *Kisses the top of Draco’s head* I love you so much

Harry & Ginny at the same time: I have something to tell you- sorry

Harry: You go first

Ginny: No you

Harry: Really you

Ginny: Ok fine, I’m in love with someone else

Harry: You are? Oh thank god!

Ginny: WHAT

Harry: I didn’t mean it like that, it’s just that I’m in love with someone else also...

Ginny: Oh, well I guess that settles that

Harry: Yeah

Ginny: Who is it?

Harry: .....Draco

Ginny: That’s not surprising

Harry: And you- oh wait let me guess, Luna

Ginny: How did you know?

Harry: She talks about you all the time

Ginny: Of course she does

Harry: I suppose blondes are more our type then huh

Draco: That’s not my name idiot

Harry: It is gonna be soon though *Gets down on one knee*

Draco: No

Harry: Why not? *Insert sad face*

Draco: Because... because you’re to good for me

Harry: Oh my god what?

Draco: I-I think my hair is falling out!

Harry: *Snorts*

Draco: It’s not funny!

Harry, laughing: Yes it is! Maybe it’s because you put that poisonous gel into you hair everyday

Draco: It’s not gonna be funny when you have nothing to hold on to in bed

Draco: Uh no

Harry: Well I’m diagnosing you with it

Draco, sighing: Wonderful Harry, that’s just great do I get pills for my condition?

Harry, smiling: No, you just get me

Draco: Oh Merlin, just go away

Harry: Oh so I’m Merlin now?

Draco: I hate you

Harry: So I was right about my diagnosis then?

Draco:

Draco: Have you been diagnosed with a annoying personality? Because if not I’m diagnosing you with it

Draco: *On top of the refrigerator holding a fly swatter*

Draco: Yes

Voldemort: My Lord

Draco: There’s no need to call me Lord, dark one

Voldemort: You bitch-

Luna: I like your necklace, that color symbolizes philosophy and friendship.

Interviewer: Uh thank you? Could you answer the question Ms. Lovegood?

Ron: I was pissed at first, as matter as fact I still am. I’m fine with Harry liking guys but not Draco Malfoy. I mean I want Harry to be happy and all but Draco Malfoy of all people! OF ALL PEOPLE. Did you know that Malfoy bleaches his hair? No? Well that’s a bit of info for you then, but don’t tell him I said that he’ll probably kill me...wait,then maybe...Harry will break up with him because he killed his best friend! I am so smart. Sorry, anyways yeah I was mad but I had time to cool off and I’m happy for Harry and that’s all that matters to me. ...I still hate him though. 

-Sometime later-

Hermione: Well at first I didn’t suspect anything but after only a day it was only reasonable to assume. There were simply to many clues and facts not to ignore. So I took matters into my own hands and followed Harry one night. And don’t get me wrong it was for a good cause. I’m not the type of person so stalk people, that’s more of Harry’s specialty. So I did see him with Draco that night, which then ended my  suspicions. Well that’s it, I kept it a secret until they came out, I eventually told Harry that I knew all along, but he wasn’t surprised or maybe he was... but I thought he wouldn’t since it was quite obvious I knew. I kept giving him hints whenever he would leave the common room suddenly. But you know Harry, he’s-

Draco: It was unapologetically the absolute worst thing I ever had to work around. That little bitch wouldn’t stop following me around for the whole year, and of course he almost killed me. I mean I was crying for Merlin’s sake- shit did I say crying? I wasn’t crying! Ugh! That’s not the point. Anyways I hated the little fucker more then ever after that, but you know the rest. I’m just glad in the end we got married.

Draco: ...Harry?

Draco, getting up and walking around the house to go find Harry: Harry, what are you doing?

Harry, cleaning the kitchen: Oh hey babe

Draco: Harry, it’s 3 in the morning

Harry: Sorry did I wake you?

Draco: Well I sensed you weren’t with me

Harry: Aww you sensed me

Draco: What are you even doing- you know what, nevermind, could you just come back to bed