i don't want to self-declare myself to fit in a specific box. i want to undeclare myself. it's none of your business. why does anyone need to know that
i don't think a third option / specific undeclared opt-out works in a hostile society, either. like, oh good, i've given myself the Freak label, that won't cause any problems. i think we need to rethink why gender is considered basic identity information that has to be included anywhere. what purpose does this serve. why should ANY of us be providing this to strangers. i don't want a different gender marker on my ID i want there not to be gender markers on my ID in the first place
I believe the role of the gender assigned at birth is to discipline people into being either men or women, so that we possess traits that align with gender roles and societal expectations. In short, this is for society, not for us.
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This is just me trying to understand why I'm so obsessed about this show. English is not my native tongue and I don't want AI to help me write this so bear with me.
First, it is esthetically pleasing. This sounds not exciting, I know. But this is the first word that jumped to my mind. Esthetics. I mean this show is BEAUTIFUL. The beauty is on every level, so poignant, so piercingly bright. You can almost taste the beauty, I mean, savor, or feed on it...whatever. The people in the show. The costumes. The music. The setting. The opening with Dubai skyline upside-down like fangs. I leave the rest to you. Everything is so nice to look at and listen to. It caresses my senses. Engulfing beauty lures my REAL out in Lacanian sense, and my REAL is swimming in it, in the beauty. I guess I made my point.
After the beauty lured me in, then came the pain. The pain pined me down, fixated me where it wanted me to be...? Or maybe not, maybe there was no one who intentionally wanted to trigger my traumas. Maybe I was just self-projecting too much. But, weren't we all? I will not self expose here but I guess I made my point again. The show is a library of traumas and life-induced sufferings and shits you do yourself and others...of every conceivable kind: isolation, dread, shame, guilt, emotional and physical abuse, self-abuse, loneliness, betrayal, grief and death...and some more. It's not horror in the fangs. It's horror in the heart. So much darkness I saw in myself and in others that I still struggle to truly understand/reconcile with. All brought back, alive, kicking, by this ONE show. Ugh.
Then it's the HOPE. The hope it leaves me with or tries to console me with. I know it is wishful thinking that I, like the vampires in the show, would get a second chance to right the wrongs, some way or another. I wait for them to heal. To grow stronger, more wise, less crazy, or at least more at ease with their crazy selves. I wish this could happen to me. I hope. Too much to be attached to a show, I know but whatever.
If I think of something else, I will come edit. For now, am good.
taking the threshold of adulthood as 18, you are likely to spend at least 52 years as a fully grown adult
at the age of 30 you have lived less than one quarter of your adult life (12/52 years)
'middle age' is typically considered to be between 45-65
it is extremely common to switch careers, start new relationships, emigrate, go to college for the first or second time, or make other life-changing decisions in middle age
it's wild that I even have to spell it out, but older adults (60+) still have social lives and hobbies and interests.
you can still date when you get old. you can still fuck. you can still learn new skills, be fashionable, be competitive. you can still gossip, you can still travel, you can still read. you can still transition. you can still come out.
young doesn't mean peaked. you're inexperienced in your 20s! you're still learning and practicing! you're developing social skills and muscle memory that will last decades!
there are a million things to do in the world, and they don't vanish overnight because an imaginary number gets too big
I have loved you, with all myself. Iām happy it was you, here with me, at the end.
So much has been said of this scene but I keep coming back to this: āIām happy it was you, here with me, at the end.ā
Although the show (at this point) doesnāt make it explicit, this is the Lestat who has lived through the loss of his first love, Nicholas. The grief and lessons of that still haunting him. Itās the Lestat who has learned of the awful truth of their creation and existence. He tried to follow Mariusās advice to live a lifetime, to make a companion out of love (and not capture). He did his best, with no real examples of what makes a normal life. And in the end, knowing that he failed, the last thing he wants to tell Louis is that he is glad it was him, there with him, in the end.
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HI IāM BACK AND I FINISHED SEASON 3 AND I HAVE THOUGHTSā¢ļø
Newsreader spoilers under the cut
Okay first: THE NEWSREADER IS ONE OF THE GREATEST TREASURES TO GRACE TELEVISION AND IT DELIVERED ON EVERYTHING
ANYWAYā¦
The open ending as far as Helen and Dale goesāmy shipper heart is a little sad we didnāt get a more explicitly romantic ending for them BUT these two have so much healing to do, and it starts with being exactly where they are. Finding peace and happiness as individuals before they give themselves to any relationship. And I think, no matter what any fan was hoping for, they can take this ending and decide how it goes for them. (Also the loving way Helen spoke to him and looked at him while she was talking to him off air. š„¹) Theyāre both exactly where they need to be and in their element, and thatās what the audience has been rooting for since day one.
THE PARALLELS AND CONNECTIONS TO THE FIRST EPISODE IN THE LAST ONE. Dale singing Kyrie in the car. Helen taking Dale home and talking care of him and ācoming up with a plan.ā Fucking brilliant.
Helenās journey this whole seasonāgetting a diagnosis and coming to grips with it. Being resistant at first but coming around and COMMITTING to getting better even when itās hard and she hates itāfrickinā facing the place where she was locked up and endured additional trauma. She truly came into her own, and Iām just continuously blown away by Anna Torv and how, in every single project she does, she puts so much care and thoughtfulness into how she portrays her characters and the difficult situations they face. And sheās just a fucking incredible actress. THE SCENE IN 3.03 AFTER SHE GOT HER DIAGNOSIS AND CALLED DALE BROKE ME. I donāt think anyone else could have portrayed Helen. I just donāt. And Helenās arc was all the more satisfying because the writers/creators decided to trust their talent and make her just as much a part of the creative process.
And Daleā¦oh my boy Dale. Sam frickinā Reid the actor you are. Daleās character arc has to be one of the most intense and challenging Iāve ever seen on TV, and Sam probably had the hardest job. Daleās breakdown? OH MY GOD. We always knew Dale needed to break. He would have to be driven to the brink to be human again. And, just like with Anna as Helen, there was no one more qualified to bring Dale Jennings to life. Holy shit. Incredible, meaty, deep storytelling happens when you have creatives with a vision and actors theyāre on the same page with. Sam got it from day one, and he saw it through to the end.
But Helen and Dale, stars of the show they are, are not the only incredible arcs we got to see. THE SATISFACTION OF WATCHING LINDSAY CUNNINGHAM GET KICKED OUT ON HIS ASS AND DENNIS SITTING IN HIS SEAT. The stuff of legends. And not just Dennis getting his moment (which we absolutely saw coming after he clocked Lindsay last season), but JEAN FUCKING PASCOE yelling at him from across the newsroom. I clapped. I cheered. And you know, I even cheered a bit for Evelyn Walters in all of it. Sheās out for herself and still doesnāt get it (and Geoff was far from a victim), but she stood when it counted. She took action on one good thing. And watching them all collectively work together to get Lindsay what he deserved? Delicious.
And then weāve got my girl Noelene who also went through The Mostā¢ļø ohā¦ Sheās got so much to figure out about standing up for herself and what she wants, and Robās got so much growing to do to be a better husband and father. But she did stand up for herself. She stopped being afraid to tell people how she felt and what she needed. She called Rob out on his racist tendencies and opened up to him about her work/motherhood balance, and she called out Helen for using her like everyone else and overworking her, and they both listened. She has hope ahead of her, and it was beautiful to see.
A few other small notes:
The whole Dale/Kay dynamic was so strange, but it needed to happen. Her constant comparisons of him and Geoff helped fuel his necessary fall. And it served to show what a terrible place Dale was in.
Fuck Bill, and congrats to Helen for being like āIām not gonna be punished because I didnāt wanna fuck youā
Tim gets a well deserved love and happy ending!!!
Iām really happy they brought back Linus. What a treasure.
Overall, as sad as I am to see this show go, they delivered on all counts. Everything they said they would be, they were. Every arc, satisfying. Just so beautifully and masterfully done, and with love by everyone involved. 18 episodes of perfection. And if Michael Lucas and Emma Freeman ever produce another show together and hire Anna Torv and/or Sam Reid or any of the wonderful-across-the-board cast? I will get my VPNās worth as an American and be there for it.
Been here in this fandom and community for some time and for the first time in my life I realized how BIG the difference is between my own society/people with other people.
Iām from China and although I mostly lived overseas since adulthood but still very much am surrounded by Chinese people. Our culture is terrible and I donāt know if it is just the culture or the political system too, anyway not going to dive deep into thatā¦
What Iām trying to say is this: we are not allowed to express our feelings/emotions/thoughts/opinionsā¦ we are simply BANNED from it. We can express but will face instant backlash from people, in life or on the net. Whenever we try to say sth from the bottom of our hearts, as a human being is entitled to, we are shut up by Someone or Something. Idk. Even we shut ourselves up. We have grown into this habit of self-censoring.
I really love this community and I adore the way people are saying anything they feel like to. I am happy to be here and feeling safe, liberating.
End of my venting. I feel better already. Here is a photo of my city. Nanjing, China. With a red š® lantern for the Chinese new year
Wish everyone who ever happens to see this post a healthy and happy 2025, cuz we all need it.
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Not series Lestat but kinda what my brain produced when I read the Vampire Lestat book. (The Outfit is- I'm begging the series costume designers!!!!) Probably gonna redraw the face tho, I kinda gave up bc I didn't expect to manage with the colours. Surprise pause or smth.
bingewatching will never come close to bingereading. there is nothing like blocking out the entire Earth for ten hours to read a book in one sitting no food no water no shower no bra and emerging at the end with no idea what time it is or where you are, a dried-up prune that's sensitive to light and loud noises because you've been in your room in the dark reading by the glow of a single LED. it's like coming back after a three-month vacation in another dimension and now you have to go downstairs and make dinner. absolutely transcendental
