without the love

Tarzan, how funny! Mine was named Gorilla! In Japanese, of course. I work at the marketing office for Converse. I’m just a little intern, but I hope to move up someday!

Aw, little intern Olly! That’s so cool though, I didn’t know that. Do you get a discount on like the shoes? If so, that’s awesome!

Well, for one, my sleep was interrupted.

Did someone wake you up? If you’re not doing anything today, go back to bed silly!

Aleah, I’m sure your fine. If anything like that happened you would know.

You’re right, okay okay - I’m just stressing out. So how’ve you been, Roman?

“I don’t know how you do it. I try but I usually just have to walk away before I say something I’ll regret. Aw you shouldn’t feel horrible though, it’s healthy to express all emotions even if it means snapping a little, if you apologize, that’s what counts.”

“Yeah, but I don’t know!  I’m good at controlling my anger but like... my sadness? Nope that’s another story. I’m sure you’re better at that, then I am. I break down and cry in front of like anyone.”

You must think so highly of me.

Oh c’mon Roman, you know I think highly of you! I love you!

I was actually talking about it with someone, and I had no idea if cold things were actually good or not, exactly because they’re cold. That’s good to know, though. Thank you very much, friend. You’re an angel.

Ice cream also helps! That’s usually why when someone gets their tonsils out or their wisdom teeth removed, ice cream is a blessing because it’s really soothing to the mouth area.

Was it hard lemonade? That probably has, like, 3% alcohol. You’ll be fine, love.

Yeah, but people drug drinks! Plus, I don’t know what kind of alcohol it was? I’m not a pro.

It’s too early for this shit.

You okay? What’s wrong?

I gotta say, I’m glad I could find somebody who agrees. 

I’m too busy anyways, to try and focus on a dumb phone. We can be low rent phone pals, together.

Aleah, I’m going to guess that was Mike’s hard lemonade. Did you drink enough to feel anything??

No! I had like three or four sips? It just tasted bitter, and isn’t that what alcohol tastes like?

Cause butts are nice.  Have you ever touched a butt?  You touch someone’s IQ, but you can touch someone’s butt.  I think you gotta touch a butt soon.  It’ll change your life.  What does an intellectual boy even mean?  I can read Google News every morning and talk like Neil deGrasse Tyson, but that doesn’t make me intellectual.

Oh come on! You’re right, I’ve never touched someone’s butt but I’m not really dying to? A boy who is smart! I also like a boy who knows what he wants in life. But yeah. I’m sure you’re smart, Matty. Because reading Google News makes you an instant genius, haha. In all honesty, I bet you’re an intellectual boy!

Hmm. Lemonade at a nighttime party? Oh     it wasn’t lemonade. Was it alcohol?

Yeah, I think it was! I’m kind of scared to be honest. Don’t girls usually get drugged when some random guy makes their drink?

“Wasn’t lemonade? Wait, does that mean…. did you drink alcohol, Al?”

“It wasn’t on purpose! I mean, I don’t think it was alcohol. They probably drugged me or something.”

I said the high IQ and butt thing for you because you said that a high IQ was better, and I was like, nah, why not both?  Me, though?  I’m okay with any butt and any IQ.  I don’t really care about a person’s IQ.  I don’t do no goddamn literacy tests when it comes to being attracted to people.

I mean, you do you! I’m not judging you, I’m just trying to figure out what guys find so attractive in a butt? I mean, I guess a high IQ isn’t necessary but some basic intelligence. I like intellectual boys! Personal preference, yeah?

I didn’t say it had to be a nice butt.  Any butt is good, to be honest.  It doesn’t even have to drop low.  A butt is a butt is a butt is a butt.

So anyone who is smart works for you? I mean, because everyone has a butt and you said a high IQ and a butt is a nice combination.

“They say patience is a virtue but does anyone really have it ?”

“I’m quite patient to be honest. I don’t yell really ever or snap. But when I do, I feel horrible for the next like four months. I understand why people lack it though.”

“I’m not ashamed to admit that I look forward to Tuesday nights because of Dance Moms.”

“I look forward to Wednesday nights because of Church. There’s no difference!”