smellmyhead

You know who has?

Me.

So when I say to y'all "you would get thrown out of a meetup if you tried this shit, because it is incredibly inappropriate to ask someone to justify their presence by telling you their medical information," that is not me "making stuff up to be mad about" or making up hypotheticals which never happen. That is me, someone twice your age, explaining to you that if you try this off of Tumblr, the person you are trying to gatekeep is not the one who will be asked to leave. It will be you, because asking people to give you their medical information so you can decide if they're crippled enough to call themselves cripplepunk, or attempting to audit someone's identity in any way, is invasive and inappropriate.

I am not making up hypotheticals. I am telling you how adults in disability solidarity activism are supposed to treat each other, and do.

There has been a lot of conversation on Tumblr about the damage that coerced disclosure and the expectation of oversharing has done to people's sense of boundaries. This whole thing? It's another manifestation of that. Off of Tumblr, in actual organizing and meet-up spaces (which, yes yes, aren't happening right now), you will see people who are self-identified cripplepunks or crips or cripples who do not look disabled. They will not have their disabilities in their headers or on their name tags, and they won't be best pleased if you demand to know what their disabilities are. You will have people who do not reveal their diagnoses. You will not get to know what people's diagnoses are unless they choose to share them, and even then, you'll only know what they choose to share, and if you demand information that isn't offered, you will find yourself the unwelcome party.

I'm not even addressing any of the actual issues with the argument that "you don't need to belong to the LGBT movement cripplepunk, you bi/pan/ace/NBi neurodiverse people, you can have your own thing, just let us shut you out of this thing so we can have this." I'm telling you: this shit is one of my jobs. I've done consulting and con security/accessibility/inclusion and sensitivity reading and writing on disability for a long time. I've been to the RL meetups and events y'all say are just impossible even outside of a pandemic. So when I tell you that you will be the ones asked to leave if you pull this shit anywhere but here, I'm not making things up for a rhetorical point. I'm telling y'all, if you do this, you will be the asshole. That will be your reputation, that will be how people think of you, as the person who pried at XYZ for their medical info, and you will have earned it.

Where in this post did I discuss this part of this bullshit at all? Did I not say I am not addressing this here? Did I not say I am only addressing the idea that you lot seem to think you get to know what people's disabilities are so you can properly gatekeep, and that this will get you ejected from RL spaces & online ones outside of Tumblr? I think I fucking did. In fact, since you and I can both scroll up, I know I fucking did.

If you come to someone's post where they say "I'm not talking about that part here" and say "that part is like this," what is it that you expect? That someone who JUST SAID "I'm not talking about that part" is going to go "oh gosh, now that you've totally ignored the fact that I said I WASN'T GOING TO TALK ABOUT THAT PORTION OF THINGS FOR THIS ONE POST, I totally agree with you, you're so right and are definitely engaging me in good faith!"?

Like honestly, what the fuck?

@rpepperpotshipssciencebros please forgive me for this one

insane headline to pair with the actual photo of the beastie itself

In the episode 72 hours, we find out Rose may have contracted AIDs during an emergency gallbladder surgery.

Rose: Why me, Blanche? I'm tired of pretending I feel okay so you won't say, 'Take it easy', and I'm tired of you saying 'Take it easy' because you're afraid I'm going to fall apart. Dammit, why is this happening to me? I mean, this isn't supposed to happen to people like me. You must've gone to bed with hundreds of men. All I had was one innocent operation. Blanche: Hey, wait a minute! Are you saying this should be me and not you? Rose: No! No, I'm just saying that I am a good person. Hell, I'm a goody-two-shoes! Blanche: AIDS is not a bad person's disease, Rose, it is not God punishin' people for their sins!

In Isn't it romantic? we find out Dorothy's childhood best friend is a lesbian who recently lost her partner. She confesses she has feelings for Rose. Rose turns her down but makes it clear that she still wants to be friends even though she doesn't return those feelings.

Sophia: Jean is a nice person. She happens to like girls instead of guys. Some people like cats instead of dogs.

Jean: Rose, about last night. I should never have said anything. Rose: You only said what you were feeling. Jean: It's just that this last year has been so difficult for me. Pat was the person I planned to spend the rest of my life with. And when she died, I just felt so terribly alone. Empty. I thought I could never care for anyone again. Until I met you. I just got very confused. I hope I didn't make you uncomfortable. Rose: Well, I have to admit that I don't understand these kinds of feelings. But if I did understand, if I were, you know, like you, I'd be very flattered and proud that you thought of me that way.

Ebbtide's Revenge gives us Phil's funeral, and Sophia addressing him wearing women's clothes.

Rose: So what if he was different? It's okay that you loved him. Sophia: I did love him. He was my son, my little boy. But every time I saw him I wondered what I did, what I said, when was the day I did whatever I did to make him the way he was. Angela Petrillo: What he was Sophia, was a good man.

Sister of the Bride, where Blanche's brother Clayton brings his boyfriend to town, because they're planning on getting married.

Blanche: Oh, look, I can accept the fact that he's gay, but why does he have to slip a ring on this guy's finger so the whole world will know? Sophia: Why did you marry George? Blanche: We loved each other. We wanted to make a lifetime commitment. Wanted everybody to know. Sophia: That's what Doug and Clayton want, too. Everyone wants someone to grow old with. And shouldn't everyone have that chance?