Sober as fuck at the back of the club going onto Wikipedia and typing "List of birds"
just said aloud:
"birbs in the clerb!"

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Sober as fuck at the back of the club going onto Wikipedia and typing "List of birds"
just said aloud:
"birbs in the clerb!"

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Massive Birds Nests on telephone poles in the Kalahari Desert South Africa, a native bird called the sociable weaver bird constructs massive nests that from a distance, look like a giant haystack that's fallen into a tree. These nests are the largest built by any bird and are large enough to house over a hundred pairs of birds. Some sociable weaver nests have remained occupied for several generations spanning over 100 years.
everyone come live in the bird apartment megacomplex with me
A cautionary tale about the growing literacy crisis
would yβall ever date someone with the same name as you?
Iβm sorry for adding directly to a post but I went to a wedding once where the groomβs name was Loren and the brideβs name was Lauren and at the end the officiant was all βintroducing Loren [surname] and Lauren [surname], husband and wifeβ and the entire assembled lost it
also sorry for adding on but at my high school there was a Dominic and a Dominique who were dating and everyone just called themΒ βDom and Dommerβ which is honestly the funniest shit ever
My parents are both named Terry (spelled differently) but Iβm pretty sure thatβs one of the reasons my mom never changed her last name.
People would call and ask for Terry and child me would be like βboy or girl?β And theyβd panic and hang up. My mom found this endlessly amusing.
Why would you leave this GOLD in the tags??
Had to submit it to the tags for peer review
I know a woman with 2 first names, whose last name growing up was Chapman. She married a man whose last name was Chapman. So her name is Something Someone Chapman Chapman.
So I just simultaneously did, and possibly didn't lose my job today :)
Very much did in the sense that I literally do not know where my job is at the moment. But, for the time being I haven't been let go because nobody else including the store owner knows where it is either.
So, I don't wanna risk doxxing myself by posting pictures but goddamn am I tempted because this is not a believable event. This is a cartoon problem. For looneytoons.
But yeah, so, I work(ed?) at a kiosk selling boba tea, right? Freestanding kiosk in the mall with full water and electrical hookups and multiple fridges and sinks and a mini kitchen and the works. Fully functional tea shop. Very important to note that it was there last night, The work chat was discussing another issue last night at closing time. I'll get back to this.
It's been showing signs of being on the way out with how business is being handled lately and I've been considering other options, which is probably why I'm not as torn up about this as I should be, but maybe it just hasn't set in yet, but that's not the point. The point is there's been a lot of shit breaking and not being replaced and nobody mentioning anything about it until I walk into work in the morning and have to figure out why shit like the fucking cash register isn't there today. So I'm kinda used to having to ask questions about big things that nobody bothered to update me on. I was out for two weeks recovering from a surgery, so I came to work this morning assuming there'd be some kind of bullshit, yeah?
So, the question I had to ask the chat this morning was:
Not a text I ever thought I'd have to send in sincerity, but there it is. Because what I found instead was a fenced off patch of discolored tiles and a few holes in the floor where my entire place of employment used to be.
And the answer? Nobody knows! It was there last night when the mall closed, and every single trace of the structure and all its contents including drink making supplies and our safe and cashbox was gone when it opened again. And when I say nobody knows, I mean everyone from last night's closers to the actual (former?) owner of the store jad no fucking clue about this until getting that text from me this morning. For once I am actually the first to know. π.
So. I guess I didn't so much lose my job as had it stolen. Not by AI, but good old fashioned hands-on human beings picking it up and carrying it away somehow. All mall security would tell me was that they were instructed not to tell me anything and have us contact our management. Who also don't know anything. And later on I came across some construction workers around the gravesite of the kiosk discussing filling in the holes, asked them about it, and was told that they "weren't at liberty to say".
So, not only is my job gone in the most literal physical sense of the word, but it was taken in some kind of super secret kiosk extraction in the dead of night without any warning or witnesses and nobody is allowed to speak of it. The store owner said she was gonna figure it out 10 hours ago and still no word back.
I don't know what else to say aside from I've been laughing all day and I'm gonna have a hell of a time explaining Schrodinger's Unemployment to the benefits office.
Update that is not an update because I'm basically certain this isn't what actually happened:
My mother in law thinks the FBI took it.
Not any of the other stores around the state. Just the one little kiosk.
Why? Because she loves a conspiracy and is just a little bit extra.
Also because she was around for the massive crackdown on Yakuza-owned businesses in Waikiki (in her homestate) that did actually involve the FBI seizing stores (no confirmation of making kiosks cleanly disappear in the middle of the night though).
Still no word from my job on what's actually going on, but the most likely theory so far is that maybe the kiosk was on lease and got repossessed? The mystery continues
(also shout out to the person who proposed Carmen Sandiego)
ACTUAL (partial) UPDATE:
According to the owner, based on what she's been able to find out, the kiosk was not removed legally and they're starting a potentially long process of legal action. I hope she gets to sue the shit out of whoever did it but for now at least I know for sure I'm unemployed.
Really hoping for more details in terms of who/why/how, so I'll keep updating if I learn anything.
For now the summary is: An unnamed entity that is most likely mall management (on account of mall security cooperating with them) stole an entire kiosk and all the contents including money and machinery with barely a trace in the middle of the night grinch-style, with zero warning or explanation, and ensured the silence of both security and the construction crew, in an action that was definitely preplanned and illegal, and as far as I know nobody knows its whereabouts.
So now I'm officially out of a job. Because my workplace was literally stolen in the night.
Actually fuck it let's share some photos cause I wouldn't be inclined to believe this myself. It's not like anyone can stalk me at my job now and I'm not gonna have to see any coworkers that might find my tumblr.
Enjoy the unintentionally funniest text I've ever sent in my life
Aaand a close-up:
The last remains of a once Very Much Solid And Immobile Workplace
HEY HI HELLO THIS ONE'S MY FAVORITE
via @kagaminilen
[cut to a kiosk on legs, sipping a boba, while wandering into the nearest forest on chicken legs]
Here you go @a-bit-too-dyscrasic

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remember to bury the dead with a phone, everyone. these days the ferry terminal at the river styx wants you to download a fucking app
RIP Sam Neill you gave us the movie-trivia that really mattered.
Rest in Peace Sam Neil
Sam Neillβs dream, if anyone wants a good cry.

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Rest in peace Sam ποΈ 1947-2026
Rest in Peace, Sam Neill (1947-2026) ποΈ
throughout the late 2000s and early 2010s, our generation was inundated with aave. it eclipsed lolcat as the "funny way to talk." ain't nobody got time fo dat turns into dat boi o shit waddup. this is blatantly not an "aracial" or "gen z" way to talk. it IS black english. not to mention the amount of black reaction images!!
WHY, specifically, is it black peoples' facial expressions that are seen as just so comical or exaggerated? analyze the history of this nation's comedy and tell me why you might be predisposed to thinking of black peoples' faces as just, "more emotive" or exaggeratedly funny than a white or nonblack person's
and throughout those years, 00s-10s, many black bloggers -- victims of the mass staff-led purge (under the cover of them being 'russian' while reichblr still exists) -- they DID tell us it was a problem, DID try to educate people who freak out at the insinuation of 'being racist,' DID argue, DID point out the duplicity and the appropriation and the gross equivalence of african american slang with unintelligence, goofiness, etc. and they were ignored, abused, cancelled, chased off, until being eventually mass deleted by our racist transmisogynistic staff.
we didn't do enough, and the generation after us gen z "kids" didn't stop the trend. using the '-ahh' suffix. rizz. no cap. ate. delulu. it's giving. it's serving. crash out. lock in. aura. tea. main character. bruh. slay. real. keep it 100.
all of the following images are or were popular reaction images! what do they all have in common?
it feels like the effort to categorize slang as AAVE and not 'gen z' or 'gen alpha' slang has really petered out. it feels like we stopped talking about digital blackface in an era where the administration is posting ai-generated videos of black women who speak and act like exaggerated stereotypes and it frustrates me because we all have a responsibility to understand our generation's role in normalizing this type of racist shit for kids today. this needs to be addressed!
Black people will never stop talking about this, but when we are on sites such as Tumblr, where so many of the white people feel that not only are they not racist, but that calling their racist behavior racist is emotional warfare on them, they will make sure to keep Black voices as silenced as possible.
Also, a lot of the Black people who got deleted or run off of the site weren't even accused of any type of Russian anything. A lot of them were just run the fuck off by the white Tumblr base on harassment shit.
"lock in" is probably one of the most important phrases to enter the public lexicon in the 2020s

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What to do if you find a baby bunny.
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