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@slythercj
Text ✘ Fredj
Freddie: Captains lead, bitch, that means you gotta be the leader. No I wouldn't prefer cushiony, stop tripping. Cushiony ain't even a word, is it? I GOT SURPRISES UP MY SLEEVE, HOW YOU GONNA UNDERESTIMATE YOUR ONLY FRIEND?
CJ: I'm the leader that's leading someone else to go before me. I have to stay alive, obviously. I don't know if that's a word or not, but I'm using it. So now it is a word. SINCE WHEN? I'M NOT UNDERESTIMATING YOU, I'M JUST ESTIMATING YOU.
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Text ✘ Fredj
Freddie: 'Kay but you're going first. I got more to live for than you 😊 You gotta get a new favorite word, I deserve better than just bein' squishy all the time. There's more to me than that, evil schemes included. BITCH I'M GONNA PROVE YOU SO WRONG, JUST WAIT.
CJ: What? I don't go first! I'm the captain! I send someone else to go first and that someone is you. The captain automatically has more to live for. 😋 You being squishy is more relevant right now than anything else. Would you prefer cushiony? It makes you sound fat but if you don't want to hear squishy anymore, by all means. BITCH WE'VE BEEN FRIENDS FOR TOO LONG FOR YOU TO PROVE ME WRONG.
Text ✘ Fredj
Freddie: I mean, if she bounced we'd know we could do that shit for fun, but I can see where a splat might be satisfying. Dunno, I'd have to think of something really good, wouldn't want you calling me soft by the time I got my payback. BITCH DON'T TELL ME WHAT I WOULDN'T DO!
CJ: I'm sure we could do it for fun if we looked up the right spells. A splat would be soooo satisfying 😊 Uh huh. I'm sure I'd call you soft anyway, can you even make up evil schemes anymore? BITCH I'M TELLING YOU WHAT YOU WOULDN'T DO.
Text ✘ Fredj
Freddie: What if you made her walk the plank? But like, off the top of the Astronomy Tower? Think she'd bounce when she hit the bottom or something? I'd wanna light Cruella's fur closet on fire. Or get old Jafar for trying to hypnotize us into being his servants just 'cause Jay tricked us into coming to a party. Bitch I might have!!!
CJ: Ohhh! I'd rather it if she went SPLAT but a bounce would be fine, I guess. That's a waste of warmth, we could use them to make the most lavish captain's quarters ever made! But What would you do to Jafar? Trick him with your shadow cards? Bitch you wouldn't!!!
Cαʅιʂƚα Jαɳҽ Hσσƙ
“Never fear quarrels, but seek hazardous adventures.” ― Alexandre Dumas
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Text ✘ Fredj
Freddie: I don't know, fire's fun? Who else would you wanna light up instead? Everyone around here'd be good afterwards. Yo, if you make me all gooey on the inside then at least I ain't gonna try and steal your ship out from under you? No disloyal hoeing here.
CJ: I guess, but so is actual torture. I think that insufferable brat Audrey would make a perfect victim and maybe Ben just to see if he'd be sad about it. But if I burned anyone from back home it would be Ursula first. She always gave me the moldiest fish and chips whenever I went to her shop because of the time I stepped on her tentacle. You wouldn't have tried to steal my ship even before you got all soft on me. you can be hard and a perfect first mate at the Same time.
TEXT ✉️# BJ
Brooke: You know, for someone who doesn't seem like they'd care very much about their own hygiene, you have remarkably good hair.
CJ: It's probably the leftover seaweed and sea sludge. Wanna borrow some for your own hair?
text ✉️# wy-j
Wyatt: I hope you figure it out! I'd love to offer suggestions, ma'am, but I'm not the brightest with spells. And even worse with potions! I always spill 'em.
CJ: That's not at all surprising. What are you good at, Cowboy?
Text ✘ Fredj
Freddie: They teach us wandless magic next year, when that happens then bring it on! Why not? I ain't got anything better to do. Bitch, please. I can also dance, and be a pirate first mate.
CJ: Why would I try to burn you when I know you'd be fine? Other than like friendly experimentation but whatever. Because I do have better things to do, dearest Fredward. Fair enough. But are you even that great a first mate when you're all marshmallowy?
text ✉️# wy-j
Wyatt: Ooooh, that sounds like it would be super cool to see! And it'll show off your face more. How are you going to do it?
CJ: I don't know, there's probably a spell or a potion I could put on it.
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Text ✘ Fredj
Freddie: I hear it tickles, do your worst. What about pee? Yellow water's even lamer if you ask me. Yo, never hurts to be multi-talented's all I'm saying.
CJ: Not if you don't have your wand! We're not actually about to really figure out exactly which liquid is the lamest. I AM multitalented. All you do is sing well.
text ✉️# wy-j
Wyatt: You're mighty welcome! Do you know what color you want? There's a whole gorgeous rainbow out there.
CJ: Invisible.
text ✉️# wy-j
Wyatt: I just wanted to say that I think your hair is yellower than the best hay I've ever seen and it's real distracting so good job!
CJ: ..... I've never wanted to dye my hair until this exact moment. Thank you.
AMA if you could slash any portrait in the castle which one would you destroy?
Barnabas the Barmy, no reason why really. I just think it would be a blast and a half.
Text ✘ Fredj
Freddie: Yeah, yeah. Marshmallows tougher than you think, you can catch that shit on fire and it only makes it better. Sky's got water in it, what the hell you think rain is? And flying ship captains are just like... pilots or whatever.
CJ: Oh yeah? Let's set you on fire and see what happens 😈 Well duh but that's the lamest kind of water other than sweat. I'm not trying to be a pilot, Fredward. I'm going to be a SEA captain.
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Text ✘ Fredj
Freddie: Man, some of them witches know charms to make their faces less warty, give 'em a little credit here. If you damage the goods you're gonna regret it, you don't mess with perfection. Damn, and you're just mentioning this now? Why the hell we not been planning to steal a flying boat? Is it really better on the water? Clouds seem cooler.
CJ: I will not. I'm not going to regret anything I do to you either. You're the soft little marshmallow now, remember. I can do whatever I want and you can't stop me! Because it's an embarrassment! Ships belong in the water. Anywhere else means that the captain failed and failed HARD.
I will freely admit I have checked you out on numerous occasions, I'm still surprised you haven't noticed it
