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just found out I'm going to be reincarnated into a single sprig of grain. barley apparently. Not cool man. I didn't even know plants was an option on the table. this is bullshit

only thing texas is good for is toast.

and theres only so much more we can cut from the ground there

are you implying that texas toast is quarried

I don’t know who needs to hear this but if you’re celebrating Christmas you do not have pleny time. You do not have pleny time at all. We are in the 12 days till Christmas danger zone

THE PARTRIDGE IS IN THE PEAR TREE.

THERE ARE TWO (2) TURTLE DOVES.

I'm eating a peanut butter sandwich and the whole time I'm thinking man oh man I can't wait to eat another peanut butter sandwich after this

Hey bro can I come over and cough up blood and cough up blood and order takeout and then cough up more blood

THIS IS SOME 10PM ASS 5:30PM WE'RE HAVING!!!!!!

tf2 heritage post

me and the boys have a couple of chains wrapped around the sword in the stone hooked up to mikes toyota tundra gonna pull that fucker out like a tooth.

Me and the boys misunderstood the arcane nature of the stone and now the Toyota is king of England

I love chain lightening what a classic spell. fuck you and you and you and you and you and

watching video game challenge runs where they try to beat a platformer game without jumping is so funny because they'll be like "well after performing six frame-perfect tricks in a row and abusing the object memory glitch to generate enemies from four levels ago for us to bounce off the tops of so that we can cross a single gap, we're immediately met with a wall that's too high to jump over" and you'll literally think well that's not fair. why would the developers put that wall in the way like that

Girls only want one thing and it’s to flip a series of overhead switches and to punch a few glowing buttons to start up the spaceship