BPD & Chill? @slowly-getting-it-together - Tumblr Blog

Sometimes all you can do is lie in bed and hope to fall asleep before you fall apart.

— William C. Hannan

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Ever do something so crazy and know you won’t ever be able to tell a single soul besides the person you did it with?

Coming back to tumblr just so I have somewhere to be sad and no one I know will ever see

Maybe I am the problem and maybe it’s time to get rid of me.

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riarevenge

angel number reminders for everyone 🫀

11/28/2021

Tonight, I took a step back.

Realized my place.

Saw and noticed that I am no one’s favorite person.

No one’s person that they’re excited to be with.

I saw to the side well everyone had someone.

Someone to laugh with

Someone to smile with

And me?

I was left with the one thing that’s never left me or betrayed me.

Alchohol.

The one thing that’s never betrayed its word.

The thing that even in my worst days, has had my back.

Loved me, when j thought no one else loved me.

Maybe, maybe it lies to me.

But at least, for those first few moment, I find peace. I find tranquility.

The mess inside my head disappears and I feel bliss.

Prentending.

Everyday, I pretend.

I pretend, put on this face, as if everything is okay.

But deep down it isn’t.

I struggle to know who I am.

What I am meant to do within this life time.

oliveramili

frogitivity2

Please take good care of them!

I need a goddamn anxiety pill.

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thoughtkick

“Missing you comes in waves and tonight I am drowning.”

— Unkown

real-demons

blurryclau

mystruggle18

“I hate the sound of my voice. And the way I look when I laugh. I hate the sound of my laugh too. I hate the way I walk and my body posture. I hate my body itself and how I look in the mirror. I hate the way I talk and the words I choose, how I talk too much and nonsense or not at all. I hate the way I eat or the fact that I eat. I hate what I think and what runs through my mind. I hate what runs through my veins too and how I feel. I hate how I hate myself: too deeply, too truly, too much to even normally function.”

—

a-poets-nightmares

In This Silence

My minds eye

Is quieter then this silent night

I could hear my own thoughts

I could hear what you taught

There is more in this silence then what we know

More then unspoken words and hate

More then our regrets and failures

More then the realities we don't tell

In this silence

The truth awaits

Whether it be good or bad is unknown

Whether it be right or wrong is unseen

In this silence

You could hear footsteps of the past

Like friends you can only remember

Like enemies you can never hurt

My soul has gone still

No longer in discontent

My heart thumps slowly

Calmer then silence before thunder

In this silence

You can acknowledge reality

You can see your oroblems

You can achieve peace before the storm

Thrown, Tossed, and Batted around

Slammed into trees and the ground

Scratched, Bruised, and Torn Up

My silence only a setup only a ruse

Darting eyes and loud thoughts

Losing my calm

Stepping on landmines in my head

Losing myself in the explosions

Passing out on the spot

Losing conscious losing thought

Ears ringing like hell

Like a warning bell

Suddenly the fog has cleared

The eye of the storm consuming me

In this silence

I knew death was not far

In this silence

In the eye of the storm

In my own mind

I am calm and refined

In this silence

I know the truth

I know what I must do

Now it's time to face the music

~ SMM

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I’m never anyones fp. Always pushed to the sidelines.

#personal #anxitey #sad but true #fuck today #yaaaaaay! for depression #bpd life