At this unique distance of isolation

It’s been about 3 years since I moved back. Living abroad has felt further than ever before. Simple things - cooking, whats that? Baking - did I used to do that? How does one even make a pumpkin sheet cake anymore. I don't want to idealise life in the US. Because maintaining life abroad wasn’t easy (lol finances, cleaning, laundry, all of which are extremely much more comfortable here). Im bad at admin, one less burden is good. Its hard enough now to even keep my admin together (and now its purely just finances, which isn't bad at all). 

when I mentioned how much I liked the movie and Emily Blunts acting, I must admit I didn't anticipate how real it would suddenly be with a sore throat that degenerated into NOT HAVING A VOICE at all. Scary. I have been healthy for a while, but when their illnesses come it really does hit for a while, 

- Pumpkin spice latte (only available in the HK Starbucks?? ) 

- Conversations on the Holy Spirit (also in HK) hahhaa and churches 

- Binge watching Covert Affairs. Would like to say the Japanese show “Cold Case” is absolutely excellent 

- Chicken rice chili on the SQ flight there was really good. Surprising. 

THE SECOND COMING

   Turning and turning in the widening gyre    The falcon cannot hear the falconer;    Things fall apart; the centre cannot hold;    Mere anarchy is loosed upon the world,    The blood-dimmed tide is loosed, and everywhere    The ceremony of innocence is drowned;    The best lack all conviction, while the worst    Are full of passionate intensity.

   Surely some revelation is at hand;    Surely the Second Coming is at hand.    The Second Coming! Hardly are those words out    When a vast image out of Spiritus Mundi    Troubles my sight: a waste of desert sand;    A shape with lion body and the head of a man,    A gaze blank and pitiless as the sun,    Is moving its slow thighs, while all about it    Wind shadows of the indignant desert birds.

a popular theme in the marvel universe? 

also not to overanalyse but 

Thanos as a God who believes what he is doing is Merciful and Just, the chid sacrifice, the ruler and the judge of the disappearing 

But also one that works in a box - universe has X resources and having to work around it, rather than one who can overcome that constraint not by killing, but by expanding the box

ever since I broke my ankle bouldering alone, have been paranoidedly afraid of going to a climbing gym alone. what if I cant pull myself out to the hospital again like in HK? (Miracle to have made it out, anyway) 

Not my church - but the church my mum spent 12 years in . 

A pastors father died, and he preached the evening service. at the end of it, they announced that the father (also a pastor, the one that had founded the church, had come out to SG when it wasn’t cool to come out in SG) had died while in Brazil - still actively visiting/preaching at churches. 

Saying God is Good, when your father died, carrying on the duties despite the pain and the suddenness. No Christian platitudes of “he’s in a better peace” The grief must hit like trucks. I can’t imagine. But at the same time, when we reach the end, when the car accident accident happen, my question is will I e on a retirement-holiday, or will it be in the advancement of the gospel, the imperishable wreath? 

as a christian I wonder whether I should avoid disproportionately preferring the weekends to weekdays. after all, God created work and has put us in our places where we are at

Sometime in February I had the uncomfortable feeling that I was’t taking a Sabbath. January had been a crazy month, and God willing health was OK. work a bit lighter, and really some fun moments (sisters wedding, regular climbing, a HK trip. CG outings). I had declared Feb “travel free”, which it was. It was my first 28 days in Singapore straight since October / post ankle tribulation.  

While there may have seemed to make things more restful, to be honest it probably wasn’t. Right on the last day of Feb I got hit by the flu (probably a long time coming). Feb 28. Last Wed. But Friday I thought I was better and went back to work. I always go back to work too early - remember, Celine. Saturday there was CG (which I did go for, since it was my turn to lead the study) and then a lovely kids ministry dinner. But that was all too much, Sunday was back to bed, Monday same. Today, Tuesday slight progress.