nope

i’m not getting enough fucking enrichment. in my enclosure

floating down the river styx on an inflatable donut and high-fiving all the lost souls i pass. i'm on vacation

That reply is unexpectedly inspirational.

old people are right. about werthers originals

when your cat licks his paw…then rubs his head with the paw… wow….that’s his shmapoo and conditioner…..

I loooove responding to texts with the thumbs up emoji. It's like the emoji form of saying "on it boss"

i’m not getting enough fucking enrichment. in my enclosure

Oh that’s pretty funny. You drew shrek and the bee from the bee movie making out? Yeah no I get it. Like it’s funny because they’re meme characters and it’s like, what if they were gay. Keep it up

The assassin you sent after me is part of my found family now