No, faceless fantasy writer, people didn't normally consummate their marriages with 12 y/o little girls in medieval times. Not only was it rather rare for people to marry that young with the exception of the noble class, due to them needing it for politics, but they also weren't stupid enough to try to force a child to give birth. Morals aside, people back then knew how their bodies worked. A heir was nice but they didn't wanna sacrifise their brand new bride and political alliance for one right off the bat; most often the "wife" just lived with her husband in the new country and was raised there for a little while until she was old enough to actually do it. Or she even stayed with her family a little longer if the wedding was held by proxy. Medieval times were cruel, no doubt, but let's not make it worse than it was for the sake of dramatics.
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Supergirl when some girl has her whole family killed: wow you need to learn to deal with grief and to let it go, before the anger consumes you
Supergirl when her dog is hurt: I'm gonna kill you and bathe in the blood of your family
Like, I get it was supposed to be deep, and I get the lessons about healing. But I still think that girls should be allowed to kill. As a treat. Even the kidnapped brides got to use the tanks and other weapons at the end.
Summary: When Palpatine gets a bit too tired and weakened, reader finally manages to make him get work leave and go on holiday. It's not a retirement, but it's a start.
I'll probably use title 'chancellor' but it may be happening at any point before his emperor career.
"I still think it's unnecessary." Palpatine commented, watching you unpack your bags.
"Unnecessary? You sound like it's a chore, not a vacation, my lord." You replied, glancing up at him. Despite your relationship, you still kept using honorary titles sometimes - both out of habit, and because you knew you liked them. "You need them. You didn't got a proper break from your work in years, I suppose."
Palpatine huffed and sat down on the bed.
"I can't be taking breaks, darling. If I let the Jedi and Senate out of my sight for a moment, I will lose everything I planned for years."
"One short vacation won't destroy it." You finished putting your stuff away, and poured him a glass of water. "I know some of the senators suggested that you should take a break... but it was rather from worry about you, not from trying to overthrow you."
"They think I'm senile." Palpatine commented bitterly, before taking a drink of cold water.
"Of course you're not. But you may seem..." you waved your hand, trying to find euphemism that won't hurt his ego. "...weakened and exhausted by too many duties. I know the Force keeps you strong, but it would do good to take care of your body in natural ways sometimes."
You leaned down and kissed his forehead, before sitting beside him and wrapping your arm around him.
"I'm not sending you to retirement, I know I wouldn't be able to. So I don't tell you to just buy a house over the beach and spend the rest of your life writing down your philosophy. Though beach house sounds good." You smiled and caressed his cheek. Palpatine still didn't look fully convinced. "But two weeks of holidays won't kill you. You will go back to taking over the power later. Now, it's just drinks, pool, local food and unlimited time for sex."
The last promise finally made Palpatine's lips lift in a small smirk. But before he managed to reply, you added:
"Alternatively, we can go on walks and sightseeing. I read it's a lovely place, full of antics, and meadows and small mountains..."
Palpatine raised an eyebrow and interrupted you:
"I had enough antics and beauty of nature on Naboo. If I missed it, I could just go home."
Besides, while Force kept him pretty strong for his age, especially when it came to fight and sex, he wasn't as eager for physical excercise as he used to be. Though, was he ever really into travelling and sightseeing? Rather not in the way you suggested. Spending day on just walking around seemed like a plebe's entertainment, not to mention, younger and healthier plebe. Though he decided to thoughtfully keep that comment about peasant enjoyments for himself.
"I would much rather focus on the other ideas you described... especially that I don't have much time for them at home." He murmured sensually, leaning closer. You gave him a short kiss before getting up with a smile.
"Great. I'm glad you started enjoying the holidays. So if you prefer staying at hotel, do you prefer pool or SPA now?"
"What?" Palpatine looked up on you as if you grew a second head.
"Just what you heard, master. Would you prefer swimming pool or SPA now? I bought you swimming trunks before leaving."
"I'm not gonna walk around half-naked and soak in a pool with a crowd of loud peasants." He replied with mild disdain. You raised an eyebrow. At least you managed to get used to his ego by now, so you let the comment go.
"I wanna remind you, that you were choosing the hotel, and you spent time making sure that it's only for adults, and that it's luxurious enough for your tastes. So you won't have big families taking over the pool, maybe a few other rich guys with their wives or lovers." You reminded him. "But fine, if you're not one for swimming, it leaves us SPA."
"It's not needed either." Palpatine commented, laying back on the bed as if he wasn't going to ever need that room.
"Why not?" You knelt by the bed and took his hand in yours, caressing it. "You can as well use the luxury you paid for. Wouldn't you like to relax and be pampered for a moment, my lord? Massaged and fussed over?"
Palpatine turned his head to glance at you with a smirk. "Oh, I think you can take care of me just well enough, darling."
"Yeah, but who will take care of me?" You smiled and kissed his hand. "Maybe lets go for a few treatments, relax, and then I will take care of you, fine? Just us, some drinks, seafood, and this bed."
After a moment of hesitation, Palpatine nodded.
"Fine, I agree." He sat up on the bed. "But I still don't think I need SPA. Do you think I look old?"
"Oh, no, my lord." You caressed his cheeks and leaned down to kiss him. "But a bit of skincare won't hurt. Force alone won't keep it healthy and glowing forever."
After he become an Emperor, reader gives him a spa voucher and skincare set.
Also my first idea was that he got some high blood pleasure or other little accident at work, because y'know, orchestrating both sides of war is very stressing, and his coworkers were like, poor Sheev, we gotta send our poor chancellor away before he works himself to death. Some maybe muttered that instead of concubines, he should keep a nurse at hand.
Summary: When Palpatine gets a bit too tired and weakened, reader finally manages to make him get work leave and go on holiday. It's not a retirement, but it's a start.
I'll probably use title 'chancellor' but it may be happening at any point before his emperor career.
"I still think it's unnecessary." Palpatine commented, watching you unpack your bags.
"Unnecessary? You sound like it's a chore, not a vacation, my lord." You replied, glancing up at him. Despite your relationship, you still kept using honorary titles sometimes - both out of habit, and because you knew you liked them. "You need them. You didn't got a proper break from your work in years, I suppose."
Palpatine huffed and sat down on the bed.
"I can't be taking breaks, darling. If I let the Jedi and Senate out of my sight for a moment, I will lose everything I planned for years."
"One short vacation won't destroy it." You finished putting your stuff away, and poured him a glass of water. "I know some of the senators suggested that you should take a break... but it was rather from worry about you, not from trying to overthrow you."
"They think I'm senile." Palpatine commented bitterly, before taking a drink of cold water.
"Of course you're not. But you may seem..." you waved your hand, trying to find euphemism that won't hurt his ego. "...weakened and exhausted by too many duties. I know the Force keeps you strong, but it would do good to take care of your body in natural ways sometimes."
You leaned down and kissed his forehead, before sitting beside him and wrapping your arm around him.
"I'm not sending you to retirement, I know I wouldn't be able to. So I don't tell you to just buy a house over the beach and spend the rest of your life writing down your philosophy. Though beach house sounds good." You smiled and caressed his cheek. Palpatine still didn't look fully convinced. "But two weeks of holidays won't kill you. You will go back to taking over the power later. Now, it's just drinks, pool, local food and unlimited time for sex."
The last promise finally made Palpatine's lips lift in a small smirk. But before he managed to reply, you added:
"Alternatively, we can go on walks and sightseeing. I read it's a lovely place, full of antics, and meadows and small mountains..."
Palpatine raised an eyebrow and interrupted you:
"I had enough antics and beauty of nature on Naboo. If I missed it, I could just go home."
Besides, while Force kept him pretty strong for his age, especially when it came to fight and sex, he wasn't as eager for physical excercise as he used to be. Though, was he ever really into travelling and sightseeing? Rather not in the way you suggested. Spending day on just walking around seemed like a plebe's entertainment, not to mention, younger and healthier plebe. Though he decided to thoughtfully keep that comment about peasant enjoyments for himself.
"I would much rather focus on the other ideas you described... especially that I don't have much time for them at home." He murmured sensually, leaning closer. You gave him a short kiss before getting up with a smile.
"Great. I'm glad you started enjoying the holidays. So if you prefer staying at hotel, do you prefer pool or SPA now?"
"What?" Palpatine looked up on you as if you grew a second head.
"Just what you heard, master. Would you prefer swimming pool or SPA now? I bought you swimming trunks before leaving."
"I'm not gonna walk around half-naked and soak in a pool with a crowd of loud peasants." He replied with mild disdain. You raised an eyebrow. At least you managed to get used to his ego by now, so you let the comment go.
"I wanna remind you, that you were choosing the hotel, and you spent time making sure that it's only for adults, and that it's luxurious enough for your tastes. So you won't have big families taking over the pool, maybe a few other rich guys with their wives or lovers." You reminded him. "But fine, if you're not one for swimming, it leaves us SPA."
"It's not needed either." Palpatine commented, laying back on the bed as if he wasn't going to ever need that room.
"Why not?" You knelt by the bed and took his hand in yours, caressing it. "You can as well use the luxury you paid for. Wouldn't you like to relax and be pampered for a moment, my lord? Massaged and fussed over?"
Palpatine turned his head to glance at you with a smirk. "Oh, I think you can take care of me just well enough, darling."
"Yeah, but who will take care of me?" You smiled and kissed his hand. "Maybe lets go for a few treatments, relax, and then I will take care of you, fine? Just us, some drinks, seafood, and this bed."
After a moment of hesitation, Palpatine nodded.
"Fine, I agree." He sat up on the bed. "But I still don't think I need SPA. Do you think I look old?"
"Oh, no, my lord." You caressed his cheeks and leaned down to kiss him. "But a bit of skincare won't hurt. Force alone won't keep it healthy and glowing forever."
That's what happens in antiship circles. Once clearly incestuous, pedophilic and abusive ships are eliminated, they go after each other for shipping even mildly problematic stuff. If you think your tastes are safe from persecution by this community, think again.
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That cute imagine about holding hands with your f/o and comparing their sizes or looks... but it's with Palpatine in RoS when his fingers are rotten/deformed/missing
I drank my beer a bit too fast and now I have this dialogue in my head without a scene or story to go with it and it's just
Late at night, straddling Palpatine in bed, sweat slowly drips down your body onto his. Lazy post-climax making out. You're hit with the reality of what you're doing: fucking your boss/mentor who's way older than you, and the frigging boss of the galaxy, like it's a crazy situation to be in.
And you just kind of breathe "I must be mad..."
and Palpatine squeezes your thighs (they're sore from the hours before) and says, with a smirk, "Absolutely mental. But I like them crazy." with a boop on your nose
rots crack/fix-it au where somebody in the senate spread a rumour that palpatine was senile but anakin takes it very seriously. they’re at the opera and palpatine is all like “my boy, have i ever told you the tale of darth plagueis the wise?” preparing to be all evil but anakin is like “i don’t believe you have, your excellency” y’know in that tone that people speak ~encouragingly~ to kids and old people? palpatine is like ‘,:| not thinking too hard on it and continues his tale, but by the end anakin is like “wow, that sounds mighty interesting, your excellency. it’s getting late, why don’t we start heading home?” and palpatine’s evil plan is foiled because anakin believed he was an old man not fully in charge of all of his faculties, ending with a vote of no confidence
anakin believes absolutely nothing the man says anymore but is doting and caring and overprotective. Him and padme leave for the naboo countryside for married life and he insists on bringing palaptine with them getting him set up with state of the art care in his own rooms in the house.
Palps gets to live watching Anakin be happy and healthy and when the twins come along palps sees a chance for the next generation of sith. Leia bites him in her teething phase and he decides children are too much work.
I have no specific ideas on this yet, but someone should make Palpatine with autistic reader. Is this anything.
(I also have borderline but Palpatine with bpd person is just him with Anakin... so no need for questions)
Just trying to imagine him with a young Padawan that really wants to be a proper Sith, but sometimes is like "Master, I gotta go wind down, or I'll have a meltdown and you'll see the full power of my Force"
Or, do you know the "Anakin has a doctorate in Darth Plagueis The Wise studies" videos (and, basically, whole series from this channel)? In fact, this version of Anakin can kinda give us the image of how this would look like, at least with infodumping and not reading between verses.
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Padme and the Jedi Council when Chancellor's servant/assistant/unnoficial apprentice keeps mysteriously getting pregnant and giving birth to bunch of ginger kids:
My star wars hotake to start the week is that if they made a young Palpatine hot yall would be fawning over him , like “omg he’s so evil mastermind coded” “he’s my little dictator cutie” kinda stuff and NO ONE can tell me otherwise.
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I very like the age gap with Palpatine, but at the other hand I think that it could also cause many problems. Like, he may try to keep on with the world, but it mostly focuses on political/military matters. In the prequels he's in his 50s and 60s and lets say the reader is young. There may not be "gen z" in the galactic, but there will still be huge differences even if no planet discovers brainrot.
Reader: Look. *holds up a hologram*
Palpatine: What's that?
Reader: A short from Hutt's patostreams. Just listen, it's funny.
Palpatine: What's a patostream?
Reader: I'll explain you later, just listen. This fragment became a meme by now.
Palpatine: Ah, of course , darling. I know memes. *Shows a photo of Darth Plagueis with text "Wants to create life/gets killed in his sleep"* See? I made this myself. Dooku doesn't think it's funny.
₊˚ ✧ ━━━━⊱⋆⊰━━━━ ✧ ₊˚
Also lets say that the reader survives long enough as Palpatine becomes an Emperor and rules his Empire, and they luckily don't get ridden of like other of his apprentices/close ones, managing to reach 40s. Which is ofc still young, especially if Palpatine is now pushing 70/80 and just enjoying his regime. And the reader gets some midlife crisis or just a sudden desire of change (which I say affectionately bc it may be me one day).
Reader: Master. I served you and shared your bed for decades. I bore you many heirs. Can you finally make me official?
Palpatine: *screeching from his throne* I'm not ready for settling down yet, darling... Siths don't get attached...
Reader: Master, since years you didn't get laid beside me.
⋅•⋅⊰∙∘☽༓☾∘∙⊱⋅•⋅
Reader: Master, I have discovered tomes of ancient knowledge that may bring new quality to our life...
*holds up dramatically "Secrets of tantric sex" and "Eat, pray, love"*
⋅•⋅⊰∙∘☽༓☾∘∙⊱⋅•⋅
Reader: Sidious, have you considered Med'terrean diet? It seems to be one of the healthiest. Especially that you don't leave your throne room much, you need vitamins, when Sith way sucks off your life force. And I bought you those vitamin gummies. You look pale.
