Loop not feeling comfortable enough to initiate or accept any physical affection from Siffrin, because theyâre still emotional over losing their own body.
Siffrin will brush his hand against theirs to try and hold it, only for Loop to pull away like Sif just struck them.
Heâll go in for a hug after having hugged the others, not wanting to leave them out, just to be met with Loopâs âtouch me, and Iâll stab youâ face.
Theyâll be sharing a bath together and Siffrin notices the intense stare theyâre giving them and offer to help wash each otherâs back. Loop flatly rejects the idea and doesnât look at him until they finish bathing and are dressed again.
Siffrin quickly picks up on the animosity from them and immediately starts self-depreciating and blaming themself for âstealingâ Loopâs body. Thatâs why they donât want to touch him, because they donât want to be reminded of the body they lost. Why would they give him any affection when he doesnât deserve it? Heâs selfish for wanting more from Loop when they've already been forced to give him so much.
Sif keeps spiraling until he eventually falls asleep, Loop still very much awake next to him. Only once they know heâs in a deep sleep do they carefully pull the covers away and stare intently at Siffrinâs body. Their old body.
They stare at the rise and fall of his chest as their lungs fill up with air and expel out with every breath. Listen to the sound of that very air escape out of his slightly parted lips and make a quiet, breathy sound.
They watch as he twitches in his sleep, their head moving to the side to try and bury his face in their pillow. Their body shifts to a more comfortable position, no doubt cold from the lack of blanket covering their exposed arms and legs.
Everything their body used to do, but no longer does. Their new body doesnât need to breathe⌠or eat, or sleep, or expel waste, doesnât even need to be cleaned, technically. They no longer need to do those things, only partaking in some of those activities to try and grasp some level of normalcy again.
And while Loop refuses to partake in physical touch with Siffrin while heâs awake, theyâre more than content with doing so while heâs dead asleep.
They gently place their hand on Sifâs chest, palm now feeling their breathing. Feeling it rise and fall, inhale and exhale.
Feel their heartbeat.
Pumping in and out. In and out. In and out.
Loop shuddered over what they had lost, yet, could still witness. They needed more. Needed to see more. Feel more. They know how deeply Siffrin sleeps once they feel comfortable and safe, so donât hesitate to lift up his shirt to expose their chest fully.
They run their hand over his now exposed skin, mapping out all the spots that got a reaction out of him. A squeak here, a twitch there, a sigh when their thumb grazed over a nipple. Their heartbeat and breathing picked up the more he was groped at.
They feel so warm and soft. Is this how they felt before..?
A pang of something awful surged within Loop, and all those feelings of jealousy and anger came rushing back. They suddenly reached down to tug down Siffrinâs undergarments, exposing themselves even further to their prying eyes.
It was still the same as before. Nothing changed.
That alone only urged them on further as they started to grope and feel at their folds. The action causing Siffrin to gasp and moan, but not stir from their slumber. Their once soft breaths now turned into loud pants and whines.
They were so warm down there, so soft and wet and sticky and â¨gross-!â¨
Loop slipped a finger, than two, inside. There was no resistance, just the welcoming feeling of their velvety walls clamping around them, sucking their fingers in more. Sifâs thighs thrusted forward to meet Loopâs own thrusts, chasing that feeling.
A feeling Loop couldnât have, but still craved to see in the other by proxy.
âCome on Stardust, if I donât get to have this anymore, than you should at least have the decency to!â
There was no gentleness in their touches, only rough, rushed thrusts as they continued to finger the other. Their other hand joining in to rub harsh circular motions into their clit, making it puffy and swollen and making him whine more.
The wet squelching sensation on their fingers was nauseating, yet they continue, wanting to see it through till the end when their wish-gone-rogue finally snaps and makes a mess of themselves. The thought spurs them on and they curl their fingers to press into that little spot thatâll have him falling apart soon enough.
An eye cracks open, trying to look through the blurry haze of sleep to see the one responsible for all these overwhelming feelings waking them up. Their head is heavy from sleep and pleasure, their lower half alight with a burning need that just keeps building and building until they finally register whatâs happening.
Loop is touching them. They can feel them touching him. They initiated touch with him.
Siffrin keens as they feel the first wave of release wash over them, more crashing soon after and sending them tumbling and struggling to hold on. They grab the nearest item, their pillow, and squeezes it in his grasp while he comes on Loopâs fingers. He buries his face in the pillow, body spasming and tightening while it all gushes out.
When it was all finally over, they collapsed. Nothing but tired mush on the bed. Their face was sweaty and flush, theyâre mouth wide open while they panted heavily and tried to catch their breathe. Just more of what theyâve lost on full display before them.
For a moment, Loop contemplated shoving their slick soaked fingers into his mouth and down their throat, choking them until they stopped breathing. Watch as their expression turned from blissed out pleasure to complete terror and betrayal when they were too weak to fight back. Watch as the life slowly drained from their eyes, much like how they felt when they realized they lost their own.
But the subtle hint at a smile growing at the corner of Sifâs lips and the absolute lovestruck look in their eyes, all aimed at them, had Loop changing their mind. They instead wiped the slick off on the bedsheets and turned their attention to nothing in particular in the room. They got what they wanted out of it, so just wanted to move on and pretend it never happened (and that they didnât get caught).
Siffrin rolled over closer to them, no longer clutching the pillow in their arms, seeking the real thing next to them instead. He wrapped his arms around their waste, burying his face into their side. Only for Loop to not return the gesture and refuse to look at them anymore.
No response. No reaction. Nothing.
Siffrin hesitated, but carefully took Loopâs hand into theirs, cradling it delicately and halfway intertwining their fingers together. They took one last glance up at Loop to see them still staring off into nothing, before nestling their head into their hip and falling back asleep.
