Marked Improvement

the largest eagle to ever exist (pouākai) was endemic to aotearoa

same with the tallest bird to ever exist (moa)

tuatara is only remaining species in the order sphenodontia and only exists here (for context- the other three extant reptile orders are snakes+lizards, turtles+tortoises, and crocodiles+alligators+caimans)

only two native land mammals and they're both tiny bats

kea is the only alpine parrot on earth

wētāpunga is the heaviest insect on earth

hard to condense into a quick "fun fact" but matariki is an incredibly celebration that has a lot of fascinating history and tradition behind it, totally worth researching!!

less of a fact more of a "check this out" but showing people photos of rotorua's geothermal areas is a favourite of mine

we were the first nation to give women the right to vote in 1893, almost a decade before any other country on earth!

Wei Wuxian knows he should be grateful that Lan Xichen is here now, smiling at them from behind Lan Wangji’s shoulder, that they’re not going to be forced to wait outside the entrance of Cloud Recesses in a humiliating manner. But mostly he’s just pissed off, at Jin Zixuan for being a jerk, and at Lan Wangji for the same reason, for thinking forgetting an invitation was an appropriate reason to treat them like this. Shijie and Jiang Cheng are clan heirs, just like Lan Wangji is. He’s pretty sure the idea is for them all to get along here.

It’s an insult, plain and simple, and Wei Wuxian isn’t willing to let the Jiang enter Cloud Recesses like this.

“You are most generous,” he says to Lan Xichen, making a subtle hand gesture behind his back that causes all the Jiang disciples to freeze and fall back, no longer walking towards the entrance. He can practically hear Jiang Cheng grinding his teeth from here, but he doesn’t protest. Rank is a tricky thing with them and the disciples and the best solution they’ve found is to never, ever contradict each other when it counts, even when they think the other person is being an idiot. “However, before we enter, I must request you put up your regular wards. I understand the entrance is currently being guarded,” he inclines his head to the two Lan at the gates like he hadn’t been giving them shit thirty minutes ago, “but that’s no reason to be complacent.”

Pointing out Cloud Recesses nonsensical security system is petty, and a bit of an easy target, but it’s better than nothing.

Except Lan Xichen raises an eyebrow and asks, “What do you mean?”

This is just asking Wei Wuxian to trash his clan’s decisions, which makes no sense. Or he genuinely doesn’t know what Wei Wuxian is talking about, which is concerning enough that this is no longer about making a token protest. “You shouldn’t put up weaker wards just because you have guards here now. Even if it’s an energy drain, you should always have your strongest wards up.”

Lan Wangji is giving him a super bitchy look, which is at least what he’d been expecting. Lan Xichen’s voice is still perfectly pleasant when he says, “We do not alter the wards for shifts. I assure you that our wards are constantly set up to provide maximum protection.”

Uh.

Um.

He looks behind him, partially to hide whatever his face is doing, and partially to look at his siblings. Jiang Cheng shrugs and Shijie presses her lips together and gives a slight shake of her head. Okay, wards are his thing, he hadn’t exactly expected his siblings to notice, but from Shijie’s reaction the Lan brothers aren’t messing with him right now.

“I can’t let my shijie stay here if this is your maximum protection,” he says apologetically. He will march them all down back to Caiyi and put them on the first boat to Lotus Pier.

Lan Xichen’s smile becomes a little fixed. “Our wards are put in place by our clan elders. You have nothing to worry about.”

He could stand here and argue with them about it, but. He sketches a talisman in the air, not even bothering to ink it on paper, and sends it forward with an arrogant flick of his hand that he learned from Madam Yu.

As soon as it hits the wards it fizzles, then it all dissolves, the barrier breaking down like a string being cut.

The Lans all turn to it, incredulous. He didn’t know they had facial expressions, but that’s shock if he’s ever seen it. “They are inadequate. They are ancient and predictable and weak.” He starts sketching in the air again, and this is something that he should grab talisman paper for, but it’s easier for them to see this way. “You use silver as your grounding base, right? The air around it tastes like it. Copper is basic and old and resists meddling better, although iron will give you more flexibility for modifications. Your also weakened by using a continuous line rather than a feedback loop. Once one section breaks, the rest follow suit, which means someone only needs to find one weak spot to bring it down.” He has to put his weight into this one, shoving the glowing characters into the nearest pillar and watching his red spiritual energy flare across it. The warding barrier is back up, but different than it was before. Better. “That’ll do for now. The Jiang are happy to provide aid in updating your wards.”

If they don’t accept that help, they’re going home. He cannot handle the stress of being worried about all his martial brothers and sisters all the time because the Lan haven’t updated their practices since Lan An.

They’re all staring at him now. He shifts his weight from one foot to the other, not liking their stares, because he’s not sure what to do with them. They’re not hostile, he doesn’t think.

“Oh, I’m sorry,” Shijie says, voice sweet and full of false politeness. “We may have neglected to introduce ourselves properly. This is Wei Wuxian.”

Those stares are sharper now. “Wei Wuxian,” Lan Xichen repeats slowly. “The Jiang’s first disciple is Wei Wuxian.”

“That’s me,” he agrees cheerfully.

“You are – young,” Lan Xichen settles on finally.

“The invitation said all disciples below twenty one,” Wei Wuxian says, blinking. “I’m fifteen, so I’m here. I distributed my duties among the senior disciples before I left.”

“I encourage you to accept his aid. Senior Brother Wei is a master of talismans.” Ooh, Jiang Cheng must have been more pissed off by all this than he let one. He never calls him Senior Brother.

Lan Xichen looks back at the barrier he’d just put up and says, “I see that.” His smile when he looks at them is somehow both more fixed and more genuine. “I will discuss it with my uncle, but perhaps we do need a bit of an update.” He bows and gestures to the gate. “We welcome the Jiang to Cloud Recesses.”

Lan Wangji finds Wei Wuxian to be infuriating.

His attitude and his rule breaking and his – everything is bad enough all on its own, but it’s not the worst part.

It’s how skilled he is.

If anyone thought to question how someone as young as Wei Wuxian could be named the first disciple of a major sect, they don’t have those questions for long. He holds his own against over dozen Lan sect elders and even Uncle, arguing against their wards and proposing new ones, thoughtlessly sketching complicated talismans in the air with nothing but his own spiritual energy as if it costs him nothing, as if his golden core is a bottomless well of power that he can borrow against indefinitely.

It’s the complete opposite to how he acts in class, to how he jokes around with the other classmates, to how he stands in front of Lan Wangji and laughs and practically dares him to do something about it. How can someone this powerful be this immature?

He finds another piece to the puzzle one morning before classes when he and Xichen take an out of the way path and end up stumbling across a clearing filled with Jiang disciples.

It’s early still, not even yet time for breakfast, and now Lan Wangji realizes why the Jiang are forever running late to the first meal of the day.

Wei Wuxian stands there in his dark practice clothes, leading all the Jiang in a complicated sword sequence. Even Jiang Cheng and Jiang Yanli are there, following along perfectly but clearly following instead of leading.

“Good,” Wei Wuxian says, breaking form even as the rest of the clan keeps going. He walks through them as they glide through one form then the other, focus tilting his mouth into a frown and darkening his eyes. He adjusts some disciples posture and movements, easily moving around the flashing blades. “Enough. We’ll get started on the next part of the sequence tomorrow morning.”

Groans arise from the disciples, except for the Jiang siblings who are amused.

Wei Wuxian tuts and shakes his head. “Look, just because we’re away from home-”

“We can’t slack off. What would Madame Yu say?” one disciple pipes up.

Another one adds in a poor imitation of Wei Wuxian’s voice, “Why waste a perfectly good excuse to show up your seniors! Think of how impressed they’ll be with all your progress.”

“What if after a couple months here you forget how to hold your sword properly and I have to beat it into you? No one wants that,” pipes up a third one in a slightly better imitation of Wei Wuxian’s voice.

Jiang Cheng is laughing so hard leaning on his sister’s shoulders to stay upright while she’s busy smothering her giggles into her sleeve.

Wei Wuxian scowls. “Quiet, all of you! I get no respect around here. Off you go. If you hurry, some of us might actually get to breakfast on time for once.”

As one, they all bow to Wei Wuxian and say, “Thank you, Senior Brother Wei,” which Lan Wangji has never heard them call him after that first day, and then they’re breaking rank, laughing and sweat soaked and grinning as they hurry to change.

Lan Wangji sees when the first of them notice him and Xichen, their eyes going wide as they reach out to frantically slap the disciple next to them. Xichen lets out a soft exhale that in other circumstances would be a laugh.

Wei Wuxian notices them soon enough, his face cycling through several emotions before settling on forced cheer. “Lan Xichen! Lan Wangji! I hope we didn’t disturb you?”

The disciples continue to edge out of the clearing, except for the Jiang siblings who come to stand at Wei Wuxian’s back.

“Not at all,” Xichen says politely. “Do you do this every morning, then?”

“Pretty much,” Wei Wuxian answers, which is a yes.

“Why are you keeping this a secret? Why not explain the reason for your late arrival to the first meal?” Lan Wangji asks. The Jiang had been the subject to several lectures and punishments and they’d never offered up any defense to their actions.

Wei Wuxian shrugs. “Well, we do arrive late, so. Besides. What does it matter what other people think? We know what we’re doing.”

That leaves Lan Wangji speechless. How can Wei Wuxian believe this level of dedication, this amount of extra work and effort, is simply unremarkable?

“I see,” Xichen says, and something in his brother’s voice makes Lan Wangji’s spine stiffen. That tone of voice usually means that Xichen is about to do something that Lan Wangji is going to regret. “We should spar sometime, Wei Wuxian.”

Xichen wouldn’t spar against a foreign disciple normally, the difference in skill level too great, but. Wei Wuxian isn’t just a visiting foreign disciple. He’s the first disciple of Lotus Pier.

Jiang Cheng scowls but a spark enters Wei Wuxian’s eyes. “I would like that, Lan Xichen.”

Pretty sure this is Lan Zhan’s constant inner monologue.

“Chris there’s a movie about dogs-”

If someone is trying to build a huge fuckoff concrete thing - say, for instance, a giant wall - they’re going to need an obscene quantity of concrete, and that’s all going to have to be transported there from the nearest mixing plant. This means they’ll have multiple trucks coming by to decant concrete in consecutive pours while the workers place it and vibrate it to ensure it all intermixes and sets properly, forming a monolithic mass. If one pour is allowed to set before the next one is added, you get a big, ugly, possibly structurally unsound gap between the two called a “cold joint.” A bad enough cold joint can completely fuck your whole project because the next engineer or inspector who sets foot on that site is going to take one look at that motherfucker and immediately embark on a quest for blood vengeance. You will literally have to cut that whole section of wall out, slap some dowels in the nearest structurally sound bits, and re-form and pour the offending segment from scratch, which represents a fortune in cost overruns and will make everyone involved very upset. This is an especially bad problem in hot climates, because the concrete curing process is exothermic - that stuff sets much faster when it’s really hot out, and its 28-day compressive strength tends to be poorer as well.

Save your kitties, we all know they eat everything anyway. 

http://www.wikihow.com/Save-a-Choking-Cat

- time for a hunting trip or patrol or whatever everyone’s there and alive we got the whole gang: arthur, leon, percival, elyan, gwaine, lancelot, and merlin

-this is an au so gwen and lancelot just are together and there was no drama with arthur

- gorgeous day, kinda hot though so they decide to stop for lunch and fuel up

- le bandits sneak up on them, and attack

-everything is just like a typical fight, everybody but merlin is whirling around, doing their thing

-merlin is behind a tree, doing little stuff to make sure no one is wounded badly or killed

-our shining knights wipe everyone out, just a ton of bloody bodies scattered around the clearing except they missed one

-this little rat sneaks up behind merlin and he’s got a knife poised to kill merlin

- arthur yells desperately for merlin to move, he cannot lose him not after morgana, not after his father, no no no 

- merlin whips around to defend himself, but he has no weapons, everyone else is too far away to help, and without thinking he blows the man back twenty feet, where he hits a tree and dies 

- everyone is frozen in place

-merlin slowly turns around to see arthur because oh shit

- arthur says no in a strangled, desperate voice

- arthur’s face contorts and he then starts to scream: how could you, you lying bastard, i trusted you, you were my best friend

- gwaine preemptively moves towards merlin, fearing for merlins safety

- lancelot does the same

-merlin just quietly says im sorry and then whirlwinds out of there but lancelot and gwaine were close enough to get sucked in with him

-the trio lands in a forest pretty far away from camelot, and merlin just curls up into a ball

-gwaine and lancelot look at each other and merlin in shock and have a silently mouthed conversation above merlin’s head

- Gwaine: what the fuck Lancelot: shit ok did you know Gwaine: I kinda had some idea but I never dug too deep into it, did you know? lancelot: yes, he saved my life by killing the griffin with magic Gwaine: so what now Lancelot: I guess we’re fugitives with him now Gwaine: he’s not gonna move for a bit, we need to take care of him until he recovers Lancelot: agreed, lets find shelter for the night

- and they do they just build a fire and make sure merlin’s warm and has some water but he refuses food

-back with arthur the remaining knights suggest going after the trio but arthur shuts them down, hes not letting himself show any emotion

-they ride back to camelot, everyone finds out, gaius is just broken at this cause he cant see merlin or help him anymore, gwen decides to leave camelot without telling anyone to search for her best friend and love, she forgives merlin but wants an explanation, arthur turns in on himself and closes himself off, hes curt and cold, the other knights just dont talk about it though they each slowly forgive the trio over a long period of time

-after a week of no talking, merlin finally speaks to gwaine and lancelot and says: “lets go back home, I can face arthur, and you two can rejoin the knights

-they immediately refuse, saying that they trust and love merlin, and they chose to stay with him

-merlin brings up gwen in hopes to convince at least lancelot but he says its safer for her in camelot and he trusts he’ll see her again someday

-merlin just cant argue anymore, hes tired, and mourning everything he’s lost

-in the morning, they decide well we gotta live somewhere so they figure out where they are, which is western camelot on the very edge at the foot of a mountain range that marks camelot’s border

-they set up a little cabin just outside a nearby village and live their lives

-pretty soon, after occasionally being in the village for supplies, the villagers get suspicious and ask them questions

- they just so happen to catch merlin, who’s a terrible liar, and he blurts out hes a healer

-this village has 0 healers so they start to bring their sick to merlin, who heals them for free, which results in lots of gifts of food and other stuff

-gwaine and lancelot start teaching sword fighting to keep themselves sharp and help out the village

-things are chill like this for a few months

-gwen is still wandering around, learns a bit about magic, and is just traveling through western camelot, hoping to find the trio

-back in camelot, arthur is cracking down on magic

-he isn’t killing people, but anyone found guilty of magic or anything is locked away in these cells uther had made under the regular dungeon out of sorcerers’ bones that contains magic, its like a second purge, just without the executions

-gwen knows this and wants merlin to come back and stop arthur

-lancelot and gwaine slowly gets merlin’s entire story out of him, and see him as a leader now

-merlin is quieter, more reserved, and rarely uses magic at all

-one time this little girl, maybe 10, is brought to merlin wiht a weird set of symptoms

-merlin immediately knows shes developing magic, so he sends the parents away, promising he will heal her, and then he tells her

-she is scared of not being abole to control her new powers but isnt scared of having the magic itself, and tells merlin that her parents are ok with magic too

-the next day he meets with her family, and they discuss it, and eventually, they all decide that he can train her

-so like a few weeks go by of this, and then another person comes to merlin

-this time its an older woman and she wants to learn how to control her magic

-pretty soon merlin is training a lot of people and gets a reputaion

-gwaine and lancelot are worried about how little he sleeps, and how little he talks about the past, they cant help him though

-gwen hears about this village, where magic is celebrated, and finds it

-she arrives, and runs into gwaine, who takes her hand and runs shouting throught the village back to the cottage where lancelot is training 

-happy reunion yay

-she and merlin talk, she gets his full story, and he is just a little happier knowing that she’s there but he also finds out about whats going on in camelot

-in camelot, all of the knights just dont talk to arthur anymore, for fear of his verbal abuse

-hes crushed that gwen is gone too, and feels that he has been abandoned 

-more and more magic users flock to this village until rumors reach all the way back to camelot

-arthur orders a raid, he orders no killing

-he doesn’t lead it, but eventually, 20 knights or so attack the village

- a lot of magic users are taken, and a few people killed in fires set by the knights

-merlin feels responsible and decides that his merry band of misfits needs to be safer and a whole lot more defended

-so he and a majority of the village move into the mountains

-merlin is now the accidental leader of a rebel camp

-its called camp maxia(magic in galcian/gaelic) and its inhabitants maxians

-years go by, as the camp grows with refugee families and those from villages attacked by bandits because the knights are all out looking for magic users and not protecting anybody

-merlin, with his right hands gwaine, lancelot, and gwen run maxia as a safe place for everyone, and he creates a name for himself as lord maxia to protect his real identity

-arthur knows about maxia, obviously, but doesn’t have the forces to take it down

- during this time gwen and lancelot have this huge wedding, very magical, and very nature themed

- so arthur has most knights out around camelot, and morgana knows this, she joins forces with cenred and takes camelot with ease

-arthur, leon, percival, and elyan get out together

-percival suggests going to lord maxia for help, as he’s got quite a sizable force and has been kind to camelot in not attacking them

-arthur immedietly shuts him down 

-they camp outside of the city for about a week, a couple civilians find them and tell arthur whats happening in camelot

-morgana is starving the people and killing those who act up

-arthur still loves his people, more than he hates magic

-so he agrees to go to lord maxia

-arthur, leon, percival, and elyan set out with the few civilians; the knights are each secretly hoping to see merlin at camp maxia, arthur is secretly terrified of that happening

-they’re picked up by a maxia patrol and held in a makeshift cell until lord maxia accepts them into the camp, cause they’re wearing camelot stuff 

-merlin is told of a group from camelot in the cells and knowing of camelot’s state immedietly send gwen and lancelot to meet them

- they expect a few knights and prepare to ask how they can help take back camelot

-when they see its elyan, arthur, leon, and percival they have the civilians released and cared for and sit down to talk to them

-arthur wont look at them, so leon speaks, and talks about whats been happening

-gwen offers maxia’s help, and lancelot says that planning would be a lot easier if they weren’t in a cell, and asks if they want to be processed into camp maxia

-the processing entails a quick truth potion along the lines of veritiserum 

-leon says he couldnt speak for the whole group, so lancelot says its a personal choice

-percival volunteers first, and then the other knights agree to it as well

-arthur is silent, but livid

-the knights are processed, and meet merlin, and for a night they all have a meal together and its almost normal 

-in the morning, merlin goes to see arthur, except he conceals his identity

-they talk, arthur is bitter, merlin is cryptic

-after a few days arthur realizes that in order to help his people he needs to set his anger aside and is processed

-merlin, identity still hidden, administers the test

-under this truth potion, arthur is honest about his views on magic in ways he didnt even realise

-merlin keeps his identity hidden for the planning, much to everyone’s dismay, but they respect his decision

-an attack on camelot is planned

-arthur at this point is slowly trusting knights again, and gwaine, lancelot, and gwen

-they ride for camelot, with camp maxia’s army

-the knights, including lancelot and gwaine, are with arthur and merlin, who’s identity is still hidden

-gwen leads the medical group behind them

-the battle begins, fought by merlin’s men against cenred’s army

-morgana threatens to kill the imprisoned sorcerers 

-arthur and merlin, still hidden, fight their way to the throne room

-its just them and morgana and the sorcerers

-arthur is thrown by morgana into the sorcerers

-then its down to merlin to stop her

-so they fight, a big badass magical fight scene 

-merlins cover is blown, hes hurt, looks like hes losing

-arthur is flipping out because its merlin and he forgot how much he missed him

-merlin is about to be stabbed by a magical bolt from morgana and arthur just screams merlin’s name

-merlin hears this and needs to live so he can talk to arthur so he defeats morgana

-battles over, people are freed

-merlin is chilling on top of the castle when arthur comes up

-they talk, for a long long time

-when they come down, merlin is forgiven, but not trusted, and magic is now not illegal

-merlin is made the court sorcerer, lancelot and gwaine knights, and gwen is a lady too cause she’s married to lancelot

-the foursome is now part of the round table and camp maxia is disbanded, no longer needed, and becomes a city at the foot of the mountains

-the knights can protect villages now

-all is right, except merlin and arthur still have this great distance

-gaius retires and just chills in merlins tower

-one time he’s out doing something important and arthur breaks his leg in training

-hes brought to merlin, who very very quietly asks if he can heal arthur using magic

-arthur agrees, and he sees merlin use good magic for the first time ever 

-this breaks down a barrier

-arthur visits merlin and talks about matters of state

-eventually just his day

-and then he trusts merlin again

-they become best friends once more

-then one night at a ball, merlin is being flirted with by a very attractive knight

-arthur gets really possesive and jealus

-he grabs merlin’s arm and tugs him away, saying something about court matters

-he dragsmerlin back to his room, huffy and angry, not letting go of his arm

-merlin asks what they need to talk about, and he doesn’t get an answer

-next he asks gently whats wrong

-at this point they’re at arthur’s chambers

-there’s no gaurds, they’re at the ball

-he tugs merlin into his room and just glares at him

-merlin is confused and asked what he did wrong, scared to lose arthur again

-arthur just groans and looks away and mumbles something about nothing

-merlin walks over, puts his hand on arthurs back, and says: “well its clearly not, tell me whats going on.”

-arthur just stays quiet

-merlin persists: “arthur please dont shut me out like this”

-arthur suddenly pins merlin to the door

-he just growls, “dont flirt with him”

-merlin is very confused and kinda scared because hes always loved arthur but arthur definitely doesn’t never ever in a million years feel the same way

-he quietly says why not

-arthur just. stares at him. “are you serious?”

-”yes?”

-and arthur just does the whole possesive door kiss thing

-merlin got a light bulb

-a few months later they’re married

-merlin is crowned king

-the end