slime time

hi! it’s been a little over a year since i’ve logged into this account! and yes, i was able to separate myself from minecraft content for about a year, but then qsmp came out and i relapsed. now i am interested in minecraft rp again. i remembered this blog and wondered how everyone was doing. but i would feel bad if only *i* got to see what *you*’ve been up to! so here are some updates on my life.

BUT FIRST, i would like to talk about how this blog has affected me long-term. 

the post above was more true than i could have probably imagined at the time. i cannot watch ranboo or tubbo anymore without feeling guilt and shame. i regret my past actions, but weirdly enough, i do not regret creating this blog. ultimately, i believe this blog was an important part of my personal growth. though, i now associate it with a dark time in my life. not entirely because of shipping either: i was actually one of the people who was actively trying to take down ‘fltwt’ accounts and helping to decrease the spread of the doxxes. this really took a toll on my mental health, and after all was said and done i never wanted to deal with doxxes, personal info, or ‘lore’ ever again. i became averse to the blogs i once viewed as gossip accounts. now when i think a streamer is gay/autistic/aromantic/whatever i just keep it to myself. but yeah, that was unexpected, huh?

you know, i always like to leave up old accounts to see the kind of person i was in the past. for the first time, i have archived/deleted old posts. on this account, i’ve made posts i am truly embarrassed by; i feel like those should not be accessible to anyone. i hope one day someone does bring communities like ebblr to light, not to promote them, but as a warning for others to prevent things like this from happening again (would fltwt have existed without ebblr? i can’t say). i liked having a private community where i could talk about ‘truthing’, but i underestimated the impact of my participation. in the end, i was complicit in something that likely affected real people’s relationships and mental health. i will never make that mistake again. 

soooo now i live a pretty normal life. i have a wonderful girlfriend, i’m applying to grad school soon, and i’m learning some new languages (thanks, qsmp). i watched genloss, thought it was kind of cool (jerma and slimecicle interacted guys), but also kind of mediocre (ranboo is not a strong writer). i really like watching forever and baghera right now and i also started watching phil again. i cried like a little bitch for three days straight when i found out that techno passed. uhhhh i really enjoy poetry and writing little audio plays in my free time. i have a nice summer job right now. overall i’d say i’m pretty happy with where i am! i was honestly surprised to get back into minecraft content, but i’ve been following minecraft creators for most of my life, so maybe i should have expected this.

anyway, i hope you are all doing well. most of you seem to have left (kudos!), some of you seem to still be cool, and some maybe a bit too single-minded or obsessed. but hey, i get it. ALSO apologies for the poor english/grammar in this post, learning other languages makes you bad at your native language for some reason. 

and while we’re here, let’s revisit my final unposted draft: