Amy

Peeping back on here has me thinking about the person I used to be when I sat for hourssss on here... Just starring and scrolling through pictures of girls whose confidence in themselves and their sexuality I envied. I may have been out about being gay all those years ago but I definitely wasn't completely okay with it. I was forever paranoid about "being bad at being a lesbian" or not looking gay enough or having no experience that it would put girls off. Not even including my recent coming out I was already so much of a shadow.... I didn't even know who I was never mind what gende ri wanted to love. I was still reeling from childhood baggage wand wasn't strong enough yet to carry it....I hid myself as being myself and standing up for myself had previously only led to insults and abuse. Hence tumblr became a safe haven.... No one knew me past my picture.... Everyone accepted the gay part of me at least.... I got a glimpse of what I could maybe have one day. Tumblr let me talk to people and meet people that got to see me at my smallest and most shadowed but they still gave me a nudge.... They gave me moments maybe even just over a screen where I felt normal and free. Unfortunately all you people only got to see that sheltered blurry version of me..... Somewhere in the past few years I discovered a "fuck that" attitude and it has been the best thing to happen to me. I am more confident in who I am as a person and my sexuality than I ever thought possible....so....apologies to the people years ago that I both met and distanced myself from without ever being me. Maybe for the best you never had to deal with my insane stubborness and sarcasm.

But..... I know who I am know.... And I know I never could be who I am without every life experience good or bad.... Iv got this 😏