On the Brink of Nothingness

2) Her acceptance when I came out to her the second time...

3) The day I accepted who I was

4) August 15, 2009. The day my parents split

Lets play a game. Answer these 5 questions:

1) What is the best memory you have of your father?

2) What is the best memory you have of your mother?

3) What has been the best moment of your life up till now?

4) What has been the worst moment of your life?

I watched a video the other day that I will absolutely post the link too. It spoke about our societies inability to connect with strangers anymore, or with anyone for the matter, due to the technological wall we always seem to build. And I for one am guilty as charged.

Whenever we are in public settings: a restaurant, bus, school, the street...etc we are glued to our phones. I mean literally that screen might as well be attached to my nose. We tweet, text, instagram, Facebook...whatever. And we really lose sight of the people around us and all the OPPORTUNITIES that await us. We lose those opportunities and enter into this intense anti social spiral of doom (*cue dramatic noise*)

The video really spoke to me. I do it all the time. Im a shy guy, i'm self conscious. So I look at my phone, put on my earbuds and drown it all out.

Well I'm living proof why this should stop immediately.

After watching that video I decided I would "unplug myself." Next time i was out in public I would be 100% attentive. So on my way back from Toronto, on the bus, I put my phone away and instead opened up a book and casually read. This girl sat beside me and the whole way home we didn't say much. However After a while the girl asked me what I was reading.

"Game of Thrones."

And thats all it took. We started talking about school and what we were doing, her bike, the nature of her work, commuting etc.

Well just so happened that when I mentioned I was in Earth Science, she knew a guy who has dedicated his time to helping earth science students find job (an ex VP of a mining company). So she gave me her business card and told me to email her, and shed connect us right away to help me out.

As summer reaches its midpoint I can't help but reflect on a few things that have occurred since my last post.

I have recently started working at Shoppers Drug Mart. To say the least, the job is interesting haha. My manager made it sound like the hardest job in the world. "I hired you because you have a degree so I know you're not stupid."

I'm glad my degree qualifies me as "not stupid".

It's quite a mindless job...you stock shelves, help stupid customers who can't look up to find out where the tooth brushes are (ORAL CARE FOR GODS SAKE). I don't mind it actually! It's a good enough transition job as I try to find my way in the real world.

But one of the most recent happenings has been my exploration of the gay dating app Grindr.....oh boy.

Now this is where I lose all hope in humanity. I mean here I am, a decent looking guy of 21, with honest intentions. Friendship->possibly relationship. Is that so hard? Im appalled by the amount of guys with zero self respect. Like good mornings sound more like "How about sucking my 8" uncut cock".

Sure, right after my morning coffee....

Its a vicious cycle really. People stuck in small towns, or family based communities don't have the luxury of gay bars, clubs, establishments, even organizations to connect them. So where do we flock? ONLINE DATING AND APPS. And its no ones fault really, I mean what choice do we have of meeting someone at this point right?

But there are crusty ass people out there...and its a tough life. I've spoken with a few decent guys but it just all feels so forced and weird.