Star

"Don't scare me, you and that retched man have done nothing but fucked me over, ever since i married him!"

But... but I just helped you, he was slapping the door into your fa-

"Go away, go to your room, stop scaring me!"

Huh...?

"Do you even care about me?"

"..."

"Do you?"

"Stop scaring me, go to your room!"

Oh.

----

"Do you care now?" Red poured down her wrists.

"Would you care now?" Tears blurred her vision.

Strange how much it hurt. Even the crimson slit didn't hurt as much. Need more red. What did she ever do to her mother? Ouch. Her head hurt, maybe a migraine? Her arms hurt more. Maybe it was because of the way she was grabbed and shoved aside. Maybe it was the desperate need to peel that skin off. Need bandages... Just a little more wouldn't hurt. Deeper? No, she'd scare her more. This was, after all, her fault. Her fault she was born, her fault she tried to stop him, her fault she scared her, her fault she was bleeding. Ow.. need a bandage. She stumbled across the room, falling to the floor because of how lightheaded she felt. The door's locked. She dragged herself across the floor, reached for the door knob and unlocked it.

---

White walls... what happened? She looked at her wrists, bandaged up and a channel on her hand cut her flow of thought. She was still alive.

The door opening jolted her, making her more tense when she saw her mother.

"You're awake, good heavens! I was so worried- do you know how much your father and I worried about you? You scared me!"

She sighed, a tear spilling down her cheek, "I'm sorry mother, I didn't mean to scare you."

It’d been a while since my father passed. Here, in P0978-AI, we refer to it as going offline. You see, I’m what you humans call a robot, I’m artificially intelligent! My name is Gia, I’m about 600 years old and I can only owe it to my father. I say he passed because I’m sort of a Pinocchio— well, I don't think I can use that since I’ve never read it— but what I mean is that my father was a human. He built me with the best technology he could find on the planet. How’d he get here? He said he used to be an astronaut on planet Earth, but he went through a worm hole, and ended up crashing here and losing contact with his team.

I love him so much… While I remember many things, the fact that he once said red was his favourite colour always stuck. How fitting! Because I just did something horrible. I hid behind the alley, blood in my shaky hands. My breath was jagged as I stared at his body in horror. I just killed my ex. The knife slipped from my hand, landing on his now still body. My hands flew to my mouth and tears started streaming down my cheeks… I hadn’t just done this... Had I? I flinched as the sound of blaring sirens hit my ears and my body, as if it had a mind of its own, backed into the wall which was a few feet behind me, my knees collapsing as I sobbed.

It really shouldn’t have gone this far— no, really!— I just wanted to talk… I wanted him back… he was supposed to be mine, hell— he was mine! I really was the one who deserved to have him, I don’t know why… Why won’t he breathe? 

I'm Star, I'm an 18 year old Indian who immigrated to the EU a few years ago to pursue my education. The reason i originally made this blog was to write tiny stories and pieces of work, since it's a dear hobby of mine. But today, I've decided against it because of a problem that I cannot ignore anymore.

Being Indian, I've faced racism on multiple occasions, while i was in India, after moving and especially on the internet, regardless of where i was posted. As a child, hearing those hateful things made me resent my culture and nationality, I avoided my tradition to avoid the hate i received for it. Later in life I grew past it and tried to take it as jokes so it wouldn't hurt as much, which, by extension, healed my racism against my own race, due to which I could once again embrace my culture. Now why am I writing paragraphs about this?

Purely because of how horribly normal it has become to face racist comments in daily interactions from people of other races+my own race. It's pathetic that there is so much hatred and normalised mockery of my culture and land, and it's even worse that people of said land are also in on it.

Additionally, since nonchalance and ragebaiting are huge cultures in younger generations right now, it's quite literally pointless trying to defend anyone or thing, because then you've "been ragebaited!", can't get your poiunt across and you'll hear irritating comments like "chill, it was just a joke" or "why're you getting so angry, it's funny" and its all for the love of the game. It's also fucked up to stay quiet, because by not doing anything, you're basically advocating for it to keep happening, and if you join in on these so called jokes, you're just actively advocating for racism to be normalised.

Besides this, there's the way people actively steal things from my culture, religion, or tradition, call it something else from some other widely accepted culture and call it a day. For example, the "Scandinavian scarves" which were just dupattas all along. Why, oh, why do you shame my culture while actively stealing from it?

I've been tolerating this for far too long, as im sure have multiple others. I'm not sure how to stop it, but I thought that maybe posting about this would draw in the right audience who would. I've thought about part time activism since I'm still a full-time student, but I'm not sure how to start or what it entails.