Sleepy Translations

[ ♪ ]

Time: Later that night

Location: A luxury hotel in Hawaii

Mitsuru: Phew… I’m stuffed! Getting to eat all that yummy food was pure bliss…♪

Hajime: Fufu, this hotel has some really delicious food, so much so I might’ve eaten too much. 

But it’s surprising, I didn’t realize that we had so many different Hawaiian foods in Japan. Like Loco Moco.

Tomoya: You’re right. You see Loco Moco so often around Japan that it’s easy to forget it's originally from Hawaii. 

It was my first time trying Lau Lau too, but it was just as good~ 

Nazuna: Ahaha! You guys sure are having your fill of Hawaii, aren’tcha~ 

I’d like to sit back and relax a little myself, but it’s about time we shift gears. 

Mitsuru: Absolutely! We’ve only got one day of fun in Hawaii, right? I remember, don’t you worry! 

And starting tomorrow we’ll make sure to give it our all at MM…! 

Hajime: Right!  Although I would've liked to enjoy Hawaii a little bit more… 

Next time though, on my own time. It’d be nice if we could all come back and have fun together. 

Tomoya: I agree. One day just didn’t feel like enough time to experience all Hawaii has to offer…

Wait, we’re getting off topic again. Pause, pause, we’re shutting this conversation down! 

“Starting tomorrow,” if you let yourself think of it like that, then you’ll just be stuck in vacation-mode forever. 

In favor of switching up our mindset, let’s go ahead and make a gameplan for tomorrow! 

Nazuna: Well said. What do you think we should do for the world tour, Tomo-chin? 

Tomoya: Let me think… Well, for starters, it would probably be a good idea to work towards helping people abroad get to know Ra*bits. 

Mitsuru: “Get to know us”, why…? 

Tomoya: I mean, we’ve never really faced the global market head-on like this before, have we? So I bet there’s probably not a lot of people out there who know about Ra*bits. 

Nazuna: Overseas in particular, it’s safe to say that we have about the same amount of notoriety as Spri does. 

Not only that, but I wouldn’t be surprised if they were more well known than us.

Mitsuru: Eh, really!? 

Nazuna: Spri did play a pretty big role on the Mega Stream, y’know~ 

Hajime: Esu-kun and Raika-kun, Yume-kun as well—they were all chosen for the Selected Six of Song, weren’t they? 

Compared to us, Ni~chan was the only one who made it.

Mitsuru: You’re right about that! Uu, it makes me really frustrated now that you mention it! 

Tomoya: I feel the same way. Hard to believe we’re losing out in the trends to our juniors who barely just debuted. 

Nazuna: That’s right. It’s precisely because they’re freshly debuted rookies that we can’t let down our guard. 

Hajime: …”Let down our guard.” You’re right, I might've done that without noticing… 

Thank you so much, Ni~chan! I was finally able to get my feelings in order thanks to you! 

Let’s show them what we’re made of during our match! We absolutely can’t afford to lose! 

Nazuna: …? Ah, uh, yeah. I guess so? 

Hajime: This time for sure, I won’t allow him to look down on any of us. Let’s take home the win, so he’ll have no choice but to acknowledge him! 

Tomoya-kun isn’t ordinary in the slightest! He’s actually really, really cool! 

Nazuna: What’s with the sudden switchup in priorities, Hajime-chin!? 

Hajime: Eh…? Um, did I say something weird? 

Nazuna: No, well, you switched to talking about Tomo-chin halfway through, didn’t you? 

Hajime: Eh? Ah… Just asking, but did I say that part out loud? 

Nazuna: Yup. It was actually kind of out of character for you, Hajime-chin. You put a lot of power behind it. 

Mitsuru: The whole bit about admitting how cool Tomo-chan is, what’s that about? Did someone say something to you? 

Tomoya: No clue…? Did someone say something to me…? 

Hajime: No way! Did you really forget, Tomoya-kun? About what Yume-kun said to you! 

He called you “The One with the Ordinary Face,” —that incredibly rude thing, remember!? 

Tomoya: Ah~ you’re right, he did call me that didn’t he… 

But didn’t that happen ages ago? I don’t really mind it that much now. It is the truth, after all. 

Hajime: It is not true whatsoever! You’re the absolute coolest, Tomoya-kun! 

Not now, and not back then either—I still haven’t forgiven him in the slightest! 

Tomoya: So that’s what it was? Thanks, Hajime. I mean, for getting angry for my sake. 

Even so, I don’t think you have to go as far as picking a fight over it. 

Hajime: …I know this might just be me caring too much, I understand that. 

But whenever I see Yume-kun I can’t help but worry about a whole slew of things. 

It was one thing for him to be incredibly rude to you, Tomoya-kun. But you can also see it in his behavior during the Mega Stream. 

Selfish, unreasonable, always has to have things his way, causing nothing but trouble for the people around him.  

After seeing all of those sides of him, I guess I’m a little put off by him altogether.

Tomoya: Ah~... I see, so that’s the reason… 

Mitsuru: Yup, yup! I totally get you, Hajime-chan! 

When someone I don’t like says something, it gets stuck in my head for some reason and leaves an awful taste in my mouth. 

Nazuna: Well, yeah. And then those feelings of contempt just keep piling on top of each other. 

But I'm surprised. I never thought you of all people would say that you’re put off by someone. 

Hajime: …That’s because I try to keep my distance as soon as I realize I won’t be able to get along with someone. 

If I don’t, I feel like I might just turn into a nasty person myself… 

But I know I can’t keep avoiding him forever. 

Yume-kun… No, I have no other choice but to face all of Spri head-on during our match. 

I have to, so I can get rid of all of these pent up feelings. I’ll fight fair and square! 

Nazuna: Ahaha, I can already feel your personal grudge flowing out… 

Well, aside from that, at least your drive to win hasn’t changed.

Tomoya: I don’t like being talked down to either. I’ll make sure to show Yume just who it is he’s up against during our match. 

You’ll feel better if I do that, right, Hajime? 

Hajime: Of course! But even if you don’t, I want you to know you've always been super duper cool to me, Tomoya-kun! 

Tomoya: Ahaha… In any case, like I mentioned earlier, we’re going to put our game plan in motion tomorrow. 

To reiterate, we’re going to work towards getting the people of the world to acknowledge Ra*bits. 

Mitsuru: About that, what’s our plan exactly? Streaming again? 

Tomoya: Yeah. I think that’d be the best way to help people get to know us. 

It might even be a good idea to do a livestream where we introduce ourselves in English.

Anyway, the main goal is for us to create as many chances as possible so people can come to know us.

Nazuna: Sounds good to me. Another thing, I want us to try winning votes in Hawaii too if we can. 

It’s going to be broadcasted all over the world, that much is true. But one downside is it’ll only draw in viewers who are already invested in the first place. 

Tomoya: In that case, let’s do something proactive in addition to our MM showdown, like a mini-live! 

Maybe if we pass out flyers for it, it’d help get our name out there for the people who knew nothing about us from the start. 

Hajime: Fufu, that kind of reminds me of when we used to pass out flyers at Yumenosaki♪

Nazuna: You’re right, and that was back when nobody knew anything about Ra*bits at all. 

Mitsuru: Mhm! That’s why we tried everything we could to help people get to know all about us!

Tomoya: I guess this means we’re going back to square one. Our situation is basically the same as it was back then. 

Taking one earnest step at a time, tackling any problem that comes our way—that’s the best shortcut there is. 

Alright, now that that’s been decided, let’s hop right into our intro stream! 

[ ☆ ]

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TL Note:

Loco Moco is a Hawaiian classic, the bottom layer is white rice, topped with a hamburger patty, gravy, and a fried egg on top.

Lau Lau is another Hawaiian dish that is steamed pork, fish or beef wrapped up in kalo and ti leaves

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Previous Chapter ~ Next Chapter

[ ♪ ]

Time: At the same time

Location: At a certain airport in Hawaii

Raika: …Yes? Ya want me to take everythin’ outta my pockets? Why? 

Esu: Oi, oi, did you seriously forget already, Raika? I explained it to you before we left, didn’t I? 

It’s because this time we flew on the Megasphere directly to Hawaii. 

Normally, you’d go through security beforehand, but we didn't—that’s why it’s especially important we do it here. 

Raika: Uhh…? I don’t really get it, but basically I just gotta take everythin’ outta my pockets an’ show it to them? 

Aye! I don’t mind! 

Ehihi, so does this mean I’m allowed in this “hawayi” place now? 

Eh? ‘M still not allowed? Why!? 

Esu: Well Raika, that’s because you brought something you’re not supposed to! 

Why are all those pillbugs coming out of your pocket! 

Raika: Eh? Does that mean I’m not allowed to bring my roly pollies? 

Eh, eh? But why, what’s wrong with ‘em? 

Kanna: Fundamentally speaking, there are strict regulations regarding the introduction of non-native plants and animals between foreign countries.

Mainly for environmental protection reasons, as well as to act as a preventative measure against any invasive pests potentially hiding amongst them. 

Raika: Envai, ron…? Invasi-huh…? 

Uh, Kanna-sama, could it be that you started speakin’ English already?

Esu: Nah, that was definitely Japanese! But I’d have to agree, the words Kanna uses are always so crazy difficult! 

Raika: W-well, what about this earthworm then? An’ miss ladybug here? 

Esu: Of course not! They’re all off-limits! Return them to nature right this instant! 

Kanna: No. Seeing as we’re already in Hawaii, you would run the risk of receiving a fine or penalty if you were to deliberately release them now.

Esu: It’s hopeless!!!!

Then what do we do? Should we just leave them with the airport employees for the time being? 

Oh this? This is just an elementary school student's research project!  

Raika: “Please follow me this way for a more detailed search”? 

Eh? They’re takin’ me away somewhere? So does that mean… Am I gettin’ punished? 

S-sorry, ‘m so sorry! Please forgive me! I don’t have any more roly pollies! 

I don’t have any earthworms or ladybugs either. I promise! 

Ah, ah… Esu-sama! Please save me! 

Esu: …Sorry, Raika! My hands are tied, there’s nothing I can do about this! 

Just sit tight and take your scolding like a champ! 

Raika: N-no way…! 

Yume: …Haah. Raika-chan is the same old Raika-chan as ever, huh. 

This was supposed to be Yume and Esu’s vacation, but instead here we are wasting time on pointless things. 

Hey, Esu? Let’s just ditch Raika-chan for some mother-son bonding time in Hawaii, let’s go enjoy our vacation together, okay? 

Esu: No, There’s no way I could just naturally abandon one of my members! Also this isn’t a vacation! 

The reason we came to Hawaii was for MM!

Yume: Who cares about that. Enjoying Yume’s time in Hawaii with Esu is much more important, isn’t it♪

Esu: “Who cares??! Did you seriously just say “who cares” about MM!? 

The audacity! We should be honored they’re even letting rookie idols like us in on a project as huge as this! 

Right, Kanna? 

Kanna: I’ve been speculating for quite some time now, but for what reason did we need to travel to Hawaii? 

Esu: Mhm, mhm. …Hm? 

Kanna: If it were just for the live venue, then would it not have been sufficient to travel the day of the event?  

And if it were possible to have been done through streaming alone, there would have been no need to arrive a day ahead of time. 

Esu: Nah, nah, nah! Think of it this way, the local people are gonna vote too. 

And by actually doing our activities in Hawaii, we could even come up with a plan to get Spri some more fans while we’re here, yeah?

Kanna: Hm. Even so, supposing that anyone in the world can place a vote, it would be logical to assume that the voting will be conducted online. 

In conclusion, the argument denoting the need to travel to Hawaii is effectively null and void. 

Esu: Why must you say such a thing, Kanna! You mustn’t be so outspoken with your words! 

Actually wait, aren’t you just arguing because you wanna hole up in your room!? 

Kanna: …No. I myself am well aware that I cannot complete our work within my room. 

I simply would like to avoid wasting my energy on needless actions. 

Esu: There you go again with your energy-saving mindset! Can’t you be a liiittle bit more excited!? 

It’s MM, y’know? We’re in Hawaii, y’know? You’d be hard pressed to find something more exciting than this! 

Kanna: I for one do not understand such sentiments. I do however understand the large scope of this project. 

Ultimately it is a case of our agency forcing us to make an appearance. It is no different from our usual bothersome work. 

Yume: Kanna-chan is right. 

These kinds of jobs forced on us by our agency, they're annoying. Yume is going to put an end to it so Yume can enjoy Hawaii with Esu♪

Esu: daAAAA! Don’t you think you guys might be a little too disrespectful towards idol activities!? 

We're performing in MM of all things, so I never imagined it’d still be business as usual with you guys! 

Haah… As for my one and only hope, Raika, he’s been blocked by immigration. 

Ah, you’re the inspection officer? Ah, I’m so sorry for all the trouble… 

Umm. So, is Raika all clear…? Eh!? You pulled a bunch of pinecones and acorns out of his bag, seriously!? 

But I swear I checked his bag before we entered the country! When did he sneak those in!?

Kanna: …Oya? 

Esu: Eh? Hey, Kanna? Don’t tell me you’re gonna fail the security screening too!? 

Kanna: Haah. I don’t believe I packed anything in particular that would have led to a failed screening. 

This machine... What is it? I see, it seems they have mistaken it for some sort of bomb. 

Esu: A-a bomb!? Kanna, what the hell did you bring? 

Kanna: It is nothing of the explosive sort. This gadget is the new and improved “Sleep Soundly Anywhere Buddy,”—

Aptly named the “Anytime, Anyplace, Sweet Dreams Buddy.” 

Esu: …Huh? C-come again? 

Kanna: The “Anytime, Anyplace, Sweet Dreams Buddy.” Its intended use is primarily the same as the “Sleep Soundly Anywhere Buddy.”

The “Anytime, Anyplace, Sweet Dreams Buddy” has been fashioned into an earphone style, making it more compact and easier to carry. It is an exceptional item that supports jet lag recovery. 

As long as you have this, you will never be inconvenienced by a sudden trip overseas. 

Esu: What kind of situation are you anticipating! Okay well, the jet lag recovery part is pretty useful! 

Kanna: There was nothing explicitly stating these are prohibited?

Esu: That kind of “What’s the problem?” face you’re making is doing me no favors right now!?  

To the inspection officer, I'm really, truly sorry about this! Feel free to take Kanna away with you too! 

Ahh come on! Why did this have to happen as soon as we got to Hawaii!? 

If this is how it is straight out the gate, then I’m seriously scared for our future!!!!

[ ☆ ]

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TL Note: The chapter title "Henoheno" means cute/lovely/adorable in Hawaiian

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Previous Chapter ~ Next Chapter

[ ♪ ]

Time: 2 years after the establishment of ES, November 

Location: The United States of America, A beach in Hawaii 

Mitsuru: —YahooOOO☆ the Hawaiian waves have been waiting for us this whoooole TIME…! 

Nazuna: Ah, hey Mitsuru! I told you not to jump in the water right away!

Mitsuru: Ahaha, don't worry! I made sure to do some warm-ups while we were waiting for Tomo-chan and Hajime-chan! 

Really, you guys are way too slow! You took ages just getting your swimsuits on! 

C’mon guys, last one in’s a rotten egg, let’s have some fun! Come on in, the waters fine~...♪

Tomoya: No, that’s why I told you to wait, Mitsuru. Hey, have you put on sunscreen yet? 

Because I know for a fact you didn’t! What are you going to do if you show up to our Megasphere Match looking like a burnt marshmallow…? 

Don’t swim away and ignore me~! I’m talking to you~! 

Nazuna: Ahaha, Mitsuru-chin. He's pretty fired up, isn't he~ 

Tomo-chin chasing Mitsuru-chin around like that, honestly feels like it’s been awhile since I've seen it. 

Hajime: Fufu, it’s not like I can’t see where they’re coming from. 

It’s my first time in Hawaii, so I’m feeling the excitement too.

I’ve always dreamed of visiting a resort like this ever since I was a child…♪

Nazuna: About that, I noticed you looked a little lost when we were drawing lots, Hajime-chin.

Could it be—were you having trouble deciding which resort you wanted to go to? 

Hajime: Uu… Ni~chan, you’re too perceptive. I admit, I was considering somewhere like Guam, or maybe the Maldives.

Nazuna: Ahaha! Those are both pretty famous getaway destinations, huh? 

Hajime: …Ni~chan, did you maybe have someplace else in mind? 

Nazuna: Nah, I wasn’t really hoping for anywhere in particular. 

I mean, it's kind of surprising that our Hawaii pick went through, considering there’s already another tournament match being held in America.

Hajime: Ahaha, Hawaii is also part of America, isn’t it? I also didn’t realize that at the time. 

Nazuna: Well, NiceP is the organizer of the whole thing, and he approved it, so I guess it's fine.

Anyways, I think we made a good choice picking Hawaii. 

They get a bunch of Japanese tourists, so a lot of the info boards are in Japanese. That, and the weather is really nice, it’s still pretty warm even though it’s November. 

Hajime: That’s certainly true. You’d definitely be hot if you didn’t bring any summer clothes, even though it’s winter. 

Nazuna: Exactly, exactly. Y’know, I hadn’t even thought about that part. 

If Mitsuru-chin hadn’t told us to pack our swimsuits, I might’ve brought my winter clothes with me. 

Hajime: Fufu, we owe Mitsuru-kun a lot for that…! 

If we had the time, I’d love for us to do some more sightseeing. But I suppose that’s not really an option, is it…? 

Nazuna: Unfortunately not, yeah. It’s easy to forget when we’re having this much fun, but we didn’t really come here to play around. 

—We came here to advance to the next tier in MM. 

Hajime: Honestly, I almost can’t believe that we’re participating in such a large-scale tournament like this. 

It feels like the world has really changed ever since the Megasphere appeared… 

Nazuna: Agreed. It never crossed my mind for us to do activities overseas until just a little while ago. 

But, in that sense, Spri might be in the same boat as us there.

Hajime: …Spri. Even though it’s only been half a year since their debut, it’s incredible when you think about it. 

Nazuna: Yeah. Although NiceP is their producer, so I guess it’s only natural they’d be participating too. 

Hajime-chin, do you know what the kids in Spri are like?

Hajime: …No. I’ve only really had some short conversations with Esu-kun and Yume-kun. 

You know more about them than I do, don’t you Ni~chan? 

If I remember correctly, weren’t you and Kanna-kun a part of the same shuffle unit? 

Nazuna: Ah, yeah. I wouldn’t say I know a lot about him because of it though.  

He’s called a child prodigy for a reason, Kanna-chin’s observation and analysis skills helped us out quite a bit. 

He keeps a close eye on others, funnily enough. Or I guess that might just be for efficiency’s sake. 

I was able to rely on those skills of his back then, but thinking about those same skills turned against us… We might be in for a challenge. 

Speaking of shuffle units, Tomo-chin also teamed up with one of them before. It might be good to hear what he has to say about his experience. 

Hajime: ……..

Nazuna: In any case. People seem to be especially excited for this matchup, saying it’s like a cuteness battle. 

Although that’s no doubt because of what Mitsuru-chin said at the lottery drawing. But if it’s a battle of cute, there’s no way we’d lose! 

Hajime: …Right. Let’s aim to win, Ni~chan! 

We’ll win, and then proudly declare that we’re the cutest unit in the world♪

Nazuna: Ahaha! Quite the bold statement coming from you, Hajime-chin. It’s kinda surprising, I gotta say. 

Hajime: Even I’m prepared for an all out battle, you know. 

—Especially this time, I have absolutely no intention of losing! 

Nazuna: …? What’s so special about this time—Waugh!? 

Hajime: *Cough, cough*... Uu, why’d you have to spray saltwater on me all of a sudden… It’s salty. 

Mitsuru: Ni~chan! Hajime-chan too, just how long are you planning on chit-chatting in the shade?

We came all this way to Hawaii, it’d be such a waste to spend it talking about serious things! 

Look, I’ve got a water gun for each of you, so let’s all have some fun! 

Nazuna: …Got it. If that’s what you want, then Ni~chan will make sure to have fun to the very end! 

Prepare yourself, Mitsuru-chin! I’m gonna soak you down to your bones! 

Mitsuru: Ahaha! Bring it, Ni~chan! I’m gonna run circles around ya until you run out of steam! 

Zoom~...☆

Tomoya: Foo… Haah… Just how much energy could he possibly have… 

Hajime: Nice work, Tomoya-kun. 

Tomoya: Honestly, Mitsuru is giving me such a hard time. We just got here, and he’s already making me run around after him. 

Wait, why are you aiming a water gun at me too!? 

Hajime: Ehehe, am I not allowed to? 

Tomoya: No, it’s not that you aren’t allowed… Well, what the heck, sure. 

Today is the day we decided we’d go sightseeing and spend time getting to know the island, after all. 

Come to think of it, Hajime, have you seen Spri around anywhere? 

Hajime: No, I haven’t seen them. Is something the matter? 

Tomoya: I mean, I might just be overthinking it, but it’s just… I haven’t caught a single sighting of them today. 

We were scheduled to land at the same airport, and we’re staying at the same hotel. So you’d think we’d run into them at least once. 

Esu and the others, I wonder what they’re doing right now…? 

[ ☆ ]

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Hello~ I'm going to be trying to get a chapter out a day with this so please enjoyyy :3c

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[ ♪ ]

Time: One week later, the day of the live

Location: Backstage

Esu: —Alright, got it! Thank you very much! We’ll give it our all onstage! Well then, if you’ll excuse me. 

Raika: Esu-sama, how’d it go…? What’d Tsukasa-oniisan say? It’s just like I thought, we are gettin’ fired, aren’t we? 

Esu: Nnnope! The opposite actually! Seems like our strategy was a huge success☆ he actually praised us quite a bit! 

Sounds like the AR marker distribution event we held the other day gave us a pretty good boost in popularity. 

Not only did the AR event get a bunch of views, but it looks like we also got a huge increase in clicks to our website. 

And it only keeps getting better—the number of downloads on our debut song has also skyrocketed! 

Yume: Speaking of, Spri was actually trending yesterday. 

Kanna: We most likely started to trend due to an influx in people learning about us at once, causing them to subsequently search our name online. 

Esu: Right-O. After all that it seems like our agency determined we successfully increased our fancount, meaning we got a perfect clear on our assignment!

Raika: Hyaaa~ We did it…! We managed to pull it off! 

Yume: Duh, it’s only natural. They’d have to be insane to fire Yume and everyone else. 

Kanna: Truthfully, I don’t recall them ever mentioning we would be fired to begin with. 

Esu: Well, I’d imagine our agency just wanted us to take things a little more seriously, it was a warning if anything else.

But with this, they’ve finally acknowledged us as a unit that’s able to achieve real, tangible results. 

That said, we’re not done just yet! 

Raika: Eeh? Does that mean we have another assignment? Just what kinda difficult assignment do we have in store next…? 

Esu: We’ve got our live after this! 

I mean, they came all this way after getting curious about us, there’s no way we can let them go home disappointed now, can we? 

Yume: Yume will not stand for failure when you’re wearing Yume’s designs. This live has to be a complete success. 

Raika: Aye! Of course! Just leave it to me! ‘Cause I’m a whole lot better at singin’ than when it comes to makin’ Kanna-sama smile! 

Kanna: I will take the appropriate steps in making sure our efforts here do not come to waste. I suppose I cannot afford to be in Sleep Mode for an occasion such as this. 

Esu: Doesn’t it kinda feel like you’re getting more and more robotic by the minute? Are you okay? I’m starting to get a little worried now… 

Kanna: This manner of speaking is convenient when avoiding bothersome social interactions. The fact that I have to explain that in itself is bothersome, but there is simply no avoiding it. 

Esu: Well I’m glad to see that your social skills are just as hopeless as ever! But could you at least not act like interacting with us—your unit members—is a hassle? 

Well, whatever. We’re almost up, so let's get our butts moving onto the stage! Everyone, altogether now! Ad☆ven☆ture☆START!!!!

『♪〜♪〜♪』

“Thank you all so much for coming out to see our live today♪” 

“We may just be a small spark now, but we’re only bound to shine brighter and brighter with the support of Heart-chan polishing our way.

“Please continue to support us from hereon out!” 

Yume: 『♪〜♪〜♪』

“Yume is going to cast a spell upon all of our lovely Heart-chan in the audience today. A spell that will make you want to see Spri again and again after watching our live♪” 

Raika: (Uhyaaa~ Sure enough, bein’ onstage… Havin’ my voice carry all the way out into the audience, it just feels so amazin’.) 

(Wearin’ my beloved Ohana-san’s outfit, singin’ a beloved song in a loud boomin’ voice.) 

(Even though I’m just doin’ what I love, that alone is all it takes for the audience to smile an’ happily wave their hands.) 

(It's such a wonderful thing, bein' an idol!)

(...Aah, this is definitely what Sakuma-sama was referrin’ to, wasn’t it*?) 

(He said I should live life the way I want to. That bein’ an idol means I can be useful just by doin’ the things I love.)  

(I might always be a halfwit, but I’ll never be an idol half-heartedly!) 

(Singin’ is more than enough to make me happy, after all)

『♪〜♪〜♪』

Kanna: (More people came to see us than I thought. This is beyond my expectations.) 

(Spending their own time and money…) 

(Is there any significance in that, I wonder?) 

(...No. That entire line of thinking is flawed. Idols must not be doubtful of such things.) 

(I too know the approximate answer to that question, as one would expect.) 

(Nevertheless, what I must do right now is take on the role of an idol.) 

(I shall deliver appropriate compensation in accordance with the amount of time, and money everyone has spent in order to be here.)

(However, it is far easier said than done. Defining what makes us human is far more difficult a problem than any numerical formula or mathematical proof.) 

(—I wonder if I’m smiling properly?)

(I hope I haven’t given off an eerie impression to those watching.) 

(It would be difficult to call this a matter of equivalent exchange, if so.) 

(That being said, I suppose this awkward smile of mine is still far from satisfactory.) 

(But as Raika-san said, regardless of whether it is fake as of now, surely there will come a time where it will become true.) 

(Even I could only begin to think as much after being told such a thing.) 

(Someday, without question…I hope I will be able to deliver a real, genuine smile to everyone here.) 

(And until that day comes, please continue to treat me well.) 

(—At the very least for today, in place of a business card, we offer this song to you.) 

『♪〜♪〜♪】

[ ☆ ]

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TL Note: In reference to Raika's Idol Story 2

Thank you all for following along :3c special thanks to Mika Enstars for letting me poke him all the time about translation stuff. Next up~ Special For Princess! VS Ra*bits

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[ ♪ ]

Kanna: ………

It seems I severely miscalculated. 

Esu: Ah. The light in Kanna’s eyes just fizzled out and died…! 

I’m sorry! Oh mannn… I swear, I must’ve dropped my mind somewhere in between checking on preparations for the live and checking in on you two. 

Kanna: Haah. Well, you didn’t say anything about it after all this time, so this was somewhat within my expectations. 

Esu: That’s my partner for ya♪ you really get me! Thanks a lot, I think(?)! 

Kanna: Regarding the details of our Fan ThanX plans, I had an idea myself, so I believe it would be in our best interests to move forward with that as our base. 

Esu: Eeh!? No way—that Kanna? Being proactive? I never thought I’d see the day! 

Ah. Or maybe you’ve already been replaced by a second, more agreeable, Kanna!? This is the kind of thing I’ve seen happen in Sci-Fi! 

Is that why I keep seeing new sides of you today!? SOMEONE HELP! CALL THE CYBER POLICE! 

Kanna: You’re mistaken. It is simply that I foresaw myself being placed in a disadvantageous position in the event of Spri failing to procure an idea, therefore I deemed my involvement necessary, though it pains me to say. 

Raika: When ya say idea, Kanna-sama, what kinda idea were ya thinkin'?

Yume: Yume is shooting it down right away if it’s not up to Yume’s standards. 

Kanna: I initially came up with the idea when Sakasaki-san and the other members of Switch asked me to be their game tester. 

We can introduce new fans to Spri, at the same time, distributing our selling points as idols in the form of promotional goods.

Furthermore, it can be done with relative ease so that our bodies won't be put through any undue stress—That is the crux of the plan, in essence.

Esu: Oh come on~! There’s no way a plan as good as that exists! Kanna you’re still just a kid, this is the kind of thing some shady adult would say to take advantage of you, I’m not kidding! 

Kanna: We can distribute our stage performance to many people with the use of AR technology. This can be easily created with certain developmental tools. 

Raika: Ayy-Arrr…? 

Kanna: “Augmented Reality,” in English to be precise. 

It is a technology that works by displaying computer generated images, sounds, information, and so on—overlaying them onto the real world in real time. 

Raika: Huhh…? 

Yume: Basically, we can project tiny little phantom us’s on top of this table, like fairies dancing by the lakeside. 

Raika: Stuff like that really exists nowadays!? An’ it’s not just a trick of the eyes by some shape-shiftin’ tanuki…? 

Kanna: If we distribute cards that are around this size, they should be relatively easy to produce on short notice.

Raika: Uhya~ What an incredible era we live in. So small… Kinda looks like a business card, don’tcha think? 

Esu: Ooh! I like that! A Fan ThanX where we hand out business cards, promoting ourselves as Spri! 

Kanna: I judged it to be the most optimal plan for up and coming talent like us.

I’m still “just a kid” as you know, so I happened to be struck by the idea due to my childlike penchant for games. 

Esu: I’m so sorry if you felt patronized by me calling you a kid! MAN, I need to work on a lot of things lately, don’t I? 

That’s the brains of Spri for ya! We’re basically unstoppable whenever he gets out of Sleep Mode! 

Actually, huh? I feel like I blinked and suddenly everything worked out!? I could’ve sworn we were in dire straits when we started this conversation, and yet…!? 

It feels like all my pent up stress has melted away~ Now it’s just smooth sailing! 

On that note! Not to pat ourselves on the back too early or anything, but let's grab ourselves some tea and snacks to celebrate! I’ll go get everything set up! 

Yume: If Esu is going then Yume is going too, because Yume has the important duty of brewing Esu tea filled to the brim with Yume's love! 

Kanna: If they’re going to make tea, then I wish they’d have asked me first. I missed my chance to decline, it seems.

Raika: Uu~... 

Kanna: ? Is something the matter, Raika-san? You’re usually the most excited whenever there are snacks involved. 

Raika: Well… It’s just that right now, I’m lamentin’ my own uselessness.

Kanna: “Uselessness”? 

Raika: Aye. It all came to nothin’ in the end, even though Esu-sama personally entrusted me as your teacher… Ya managed to overcome those obstacles all on your own, Kanna-sama, without me havin’ to do a darn thing. 

I knew it, ‘m just a good for nothin’ fool. 

Kanna: ……….

That is not true in the slightest. 

In fact, the reason I was able to come up with a plan was due to your words, “There are many different kinds of smiles, you just have to look for them.” 

Raika: But that’s just what Anzu-oneesan said! Those words were never mine in the first place…

Kanna: Nevertheless, it could be argued that I received those words by virtue of your well intentioned worry which led you to seek the help of Anzu-san. 

In other words, alongside Anzu-san’s advice, if it weren’t for your unconditional compassion, it is possible I would have never found the solution. 

You continue to rescue me, in both the past and the present. It seems I am all the more indebted to you as time goes by. 

Raika: ……….

Esu: Kanna, Raika~ Sorry for the wait! There were so many snack options, I just brought whatever I could get my hands on! So take your pick, what'll it be?

Kanna: I’ll pass. While we're on the topic, I would like to withdraw my participation in this tea party entirely. 

Raika: (Eh? Huh…? I coulda sworn Kanna-sama smiled just now, but now he’s actin’ his usual self, so maybe I just imagined it…?) 

[ ☆ ]

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Previous Chapter ~ Next Chapter

[ ♪ ]

Raika: Kanna-sama, so you’re really able to smile now? 

Kanna: Yes.

………

Esu: OOOOH!? It’s not really a sweet smile, per se—it’s leaning more on the cool side to be honest—but wouldja look at that! A real, natural smile…! 

Sure, it might be a little awkward, but I’d say you’ve eased up on the creepy factor quite a bit!

If I had to put words to it, it’d be something like, “Ohh, so basically this person isn’t all that great at expressing their emotions on their face, huh?”—something like that! 

Raika: That’s incredible, Kanna-sama…! Cause even after given’ it everythin’ I got, I still wasn’t able to get ya to laugh let alone smile! 

Yume: Not like any of that could make anyone laugh anyway. 

Raika: Eeh!? Really? But I thought it’d work for sure… 

That bein’ said, just what have ya been up to these last couple of days? An’ just what kinda fancy method didja use to learn how to smile? 

Kanna: Very well. I simply analyzed my smile in my own way. 

Up until now, I had been using those near me as a reference point—namely, Esu-san, Raika-san, and Yume-san. I now understand that to have been the root cause of abnormality. 

It is erroneous to refer to others whose faces differ inherently from my own. 

On that account, I ran data containing the face and bone structure of every idol on the ES roster into the program I developed. 

I selected samples from the pool with facial features similar to mine, and collected data on their smiles. 

Raika: Ah! So that was the reason ya were runnin’ around this way an’ that takin’ photos of people smilin’? 

Kanna: Precisely. As for my observations… I focused mainly on the degree of tension and relaxation of facial muscles, as well as cheek angle. 

And thus, I came to achieve a natural smile through minute adjustments when lifting the corners of my mouth. 

? What is it, Esu-san? Please do not poke me repeatedly. 

Esu: Oh, it’s just… For a second there I could’ve sworn your body was made of steel. But nope, it’s bouncy—definitely skin, no doubt about it. 

Actually, is this really okay? Is that really all there is to smiling? So it’s good enough as long as you can do it!? This just keeps getting more and more confusing…! 

Kanna: It’s fine, isn’t it? I do not experience so-called emotions such as happiness or amusement in the first place. It is fundamentally more difficult for me to smile due to this fact. 

As for whether “it is good enough,”—as long as I look like a proper idol in front of the fans, then it can be counted as a success. 

Esu: Well yeah, okay, I can’t really refute that.

Raika: I agree! Even if it’s a fake smile now, that just means before long it’ll become a real one! Not even God can prevent us from singin’ an’ smilin’. 

Kanna: If you say so, Raika-san, then I suppose it is true. 

Yume: Are you guys done yet? Yume is fed up with waiting, it’s Yume’s turn next. Yume was the one who called you all here, you know? 

Esu: Uh, right. You sent your outfit designs over to the vendor and had them made, does that mean they’re here? 

Yume: Exactly! Ta-da♪

…Woah. So you went with a fairy tale vibe again, huh? 

Kanna: ………

Esu: Ahh! He’s reverted back to default settings!? 

Raika: Hyaaa! These’re amazin’! 

Not like I know all that much about fashion an’ all, but I think these adorable outfits suit Yume-san perfectly~ That’s Ohana-san for ya! Ehihi~♪

I’m wonderin’ though, what are these horns for? Are we dressin’ up as rhinoceros this time? 

Yume: Yume will praise you for noticing. But! Yume will have to give you minus one hundred million points for the rest of your answer. You’ve been disqualified, and because of that you’re not allowed to talk anymore the rest of the day. 

Raika: Isn’t that way too harsh a penalty!? No way… I just don’t know any other animal that has a horn as long as this one other than a rhino. 

Yume: Listen up, this right here is a unicorn horn. These are unicorn magical boy outfits, okay? 

Esu: Yeah, even if you say that, it’s not like we can just get a peek inside your head and figure out what the heck you’re talking about, “okay?”

I mean, Spri’s concept is unicorn princes, right? So why’d you pick magical boys? 

Yume: We’re going to cast a spell to captivate our fans, aren’t we? That’s why Yume went with magical boys. 

Anzu-san told Yume there were a lot of things Yume couldn’t do… Unfortunately Yume had to make some compromises, but Yume is satisfied since it’s more or less what Yume wanted to make♪

Esu: Well, as long as you’re satisfied. They might be a little too fairy-tale-like for my liking, but since it’s Yume we’re talking about, the craftsmanship is second to none. 

Yume: Hmph, Yume doesn’t want a compliment like that. Praise Yume even more. Yume did such a good job that you should be singing Yume’s praises all throughout the world even! 

Esu: And just like that, any and every feeling I had of wanting to compliment you has exploded, scattering onto the wind, never to be seen again. 

Raika: To think I get to wear an outfit Yume-san made, an’ I get to sing my heart out in front of all those people, it’s like a dream come true~ Right, Kanna-sama? 

Kanna: …Certainly. 

Esu: Oh… Breaking news! We’re getting a rare sighting of visible exhaustion from Kanna…! 

I feel like I’ve seen tons of new sides to Kanna today, and honestly? It’s got me feeling insanely satisfied! Kinda feels like making a huge discovery while exploring some ancient ruins! 

Anyways, looks like we’ve got everything in order from smiles, to outfits, to preparations for our live! All that’s left is to decide the nitty gritty details on what we’re doing for the Fan Thanks part of the Fan ThanX Festival! 

[ ☆ ]

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Previous Chapter ~ Next Chapter

[ ♪ ]

Raika: Kanna-sama? Are we still doin’ that “hands-on trainin’” of yours? 

Kanna: The next person we meet will be the last of it. 

If my hypothesis is correct, he should be here somewhere. 

Raika: Hmm? But… There’s no one else here…? 

Ehihi~ So I guess even Kanna-sama’s calculations can be off sometimes, huh? 

Sora: Excuse me! Do you think you guys could move out of the way~? Geronimo! 

Raika: Pya!? S-someone fell right from above us!? Are ya alright? You’re not dead, are ya…? 

Sora: HaHa~☆ don’t worry, Sora is used to it~! Sora makes sure to properly pump the brakes just enough for a safe landing. 

Kanna: I predicted that you would pass through here, Harukawa-san, however I never imagined that you would climb down from the upper storey window using the eaves to make your descent. 

Sora: Sora usually takes the elevator, but Sora didn’t want to wait all that long since it would take awhile to come back up, so Sora decided to take the window! 

Kanna: I hadn’t noticed during our time at the Colesseum, but you seem to be a being that falls entirely outside the breadth of my predictions. How incredibly fascinating. 

Sora: Hmm? Sora doesn’t really get what you’re saying right now Kan-chan~

Ah! That’s right! Sora almost forgot to thank you!

Thanks a bunch for helping out Switch the other day as our game tester*, Kan-chan~ You really saved us! 

Raika: “Game…Tester”? 

Sora: Yes! We decided to make a game for the Fan ThanX Festival~ 

And we had Kan-chan test it out, giving us feedback on the good parts and bad parts so we could go back in and fix it. 

Kanna: You are welcome. Nevertheless, this is good timing. That debt, would now be an acceptable time for you to return the favor? 

Sora: HiHi~ Of course! Sora will help out with anything as long as Sora is able~ 

Kanna: Well then, please show me your smile, Harukawa-san. Please direct your attention towards this camera. 

Sora: ? Is that really okay…? 

That’s easy enough! Here goes—(Smiles sweetly)♪

Kanna: Thank you very much. 

Sora: You’re very welcome! But is that really enough for Sora to repay you? You’re sure it’s not too easy mode~? 

Kanna: Yes. You’ve provided a valuable reference to me. With this, there are no more repayments nor debts to speak of. 

Raika: Kanna-sama? You’ve been runnin’ around all day collectin’ photos of people smilin’. 

Can ya really learn how to smile from somethin’ like that? I just can’t wrap my head around it. 

Kanna: I’ve acquired the necessary materials. 

Raika-san. I will be secluding myself in my room from tomorrow onwards. Therefore, our one-on-on special training ends here. 

Raika: Eh!? But…

Kanna: Please do not worry any longer about the matter of me smiling. 

Raika: Mmm~ But even if you tell me that, how could I not worry…? 

Time: Several days later, again

Location: In the Seisoukan Common Room

Esu-sama~

Esu: Yo~ Raika! 

Raika: I got Yume-san’s message tellin’ us to gather round for the grand unveilin’ of our outfits, did I get the right place? 

Esu: Mhm! But the one who told us to come in the first place isn’t here yet. Neither is Kanna. 

Speaking of Kanna, how’d your smile training go? I’ve been completely swamped with the preparations for our live, so I never found the time to visit.

Raika: Well about that… We went around a couple days ago to see a buncha different people's smiles, but after all that I got told the special trainin’ was over. 

An’ I haven’t heard a word from him since. 

Kanna-sama told me I didn’t need to worry about makin’ him smile anymore, but is it really okay to leave it at that…? 

Esu: Hm~? What’s with that? Well, if he told you not to worry then it’s probably okay. I mean, it’s Kanna we’re talking about, I’m sure he’s thought of something. 

Kanna: —Correct. 

Raika: Kanna-sama! Are ya alright? I’ve been worryin’ myself silly… 

Kanna: Yes. There have been no problems whatsoever. I was able to achieve the desired result. 

Esu: Oh, so that means you were finally able to smile properly? 

Kanna: Yes, although I am unsure about whether it is proper or not. Regardless, I judged it to be on par with the average smile you’d find on a global basis.  

Esu: …Well, when you put it like that, KannaBot9000, it doesn’t reassure me in the slightest. 

Yume: Esu~♪

Fufu, no matter how far apart we are from each other, we’ll always be fated to meet again, right…?♪

Esu: Well yeah, because you literally called us here. Did you forget? Seriously? 

Yume: That’s right, Yume did call you here. The outfits for our live are finished, so Yume wanted to show them off. 

Kanna: I would also like to present the result of my efforts. 

[ ☆ ]

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TL Note: They're referencing the events of World Switching--Switch's Fan ThanX Event story, where they roped Kanna into being a beta tester for their game (much to his displeasure).

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Previous Chapter ~ Next Chapter

[ ♪ ]

Time: Several days after that

Location: In the Dance Room, after Spri's lessons

Esu: Lesson Complete! Mhm! Looks like our preparations are in good shape for our live!

Now all that's left is for everything to go well on the Kanna-Raika duo's side and on Yume’s end—then we’ll really be cooking with gas… 

Kanna, Raika, are you guys gonna keep on keepin’ on with your smile training again after this? 

Kanna: No. I’ve made arrangements for a more hands-on training session today. 

Raika: Eh? “Hands-on training”? Whaddya mean…? 

Kanna: I’m going to be collecting some data. Raika-san, you may take the day off if you’d like. Well then, I’m off. 

Raika: Eh!? No way… I was entrusted with coachin’ ya Kanna-sama, so I’m comin’ too…! 

Esu: What even is hands-on smile training anyway…? Well, whatever. What are you up to after this, Yume? 

Yume: Yume has to go work on putting this design draft together, so Yume will be going back to the dorms right away. Laters~ 

Esu: …Hmm. I don’t know why, but I’m getting the feeling that everything is suddenly falling into place, even though everything was at a complete standstill up till yesterday.

Yup, yup! It’s because of things like this that make life and adventure so much fun!

Raika: Kanna-sama, what business could ya possibly have here? This is the StarPro office, y’know? 

Kanna: I’m looking for a person. 

Raika: A person? If it’s a person you’re lookin’ for, whether ya look to the left or the right of ya, there’s nobody else here. 

Kanna: I am certain that the person I am currently looking for will appear in this office shortly. 

Raika: Ehihi~ You keep that head of yours screwed on tight even when you’re makin’ a joke, don’tcha, Kanna-sama~? 

Kanna: A joke? No, I’m being completely serious. I based my prediction upon careful consideration of this individual’s schedule, calculating both their plausible route and time of arrival. 

Raika: You’re able to do a thing like that? That’s Kanna-sama for ya~ Then there’s me—I’m the kinda person that forgets what they’re doin’ after takin’ only three steps. 

Makoto: Hm? Huh? Kanna-kun and Raika-kun? Hello, good work today. 

Kanna: Hello to you as well.

Raika: It’s nice to see ya! Thank ya for your hard work today! 

Makoto: Ahaha, you sure are energetic~ By the way, Kanna-kun. Sorry for getting in the way of your sleep the other day.* 

Kanna: ………

Makoto: —Wait, huh…? That's right! I forgot that might’ve just been a dream…! 

I’m sorry for saying something so strange all of a sudden! I guess I got my dreams mixed up with real life. 

Kanna: No, these things are prone to happen. The human mind is so easily deceived, after all.  

Makoto: Anyways, it’s rare to see you two here at StarPro. What’s up? 

Raika: I dunno? I’m just here ‘cause Kanna-sama brought me along with him. 

Kanna: I came here with the intent of seeing your smile, Yuki-san. If you would please face this camera. 

Makoto: Eh? Smile? 

Kanna: Would that not be permissible…? 

Makoto: N-no, I’m fine with it. If it’s a smile you want, be my guest. Umm, like this? (Smiles)~☆

Kanna: ……… (Takes a photo)

Thank you very much. This will do nicely to serve as a reference. 

Makoto: What the heck was that!? Having your junior suddenly come up to you asking you to smile—no explanation whatsoever—is that not scary or what!? 

Kanna: I would like for this world to become ever peaceful, overflowing with smiles as far as the eye can see. And for the sake of such a world, I wish to collect the smiles of those in my present surroundings. 

Makoto: Eh? Oh, so that's how it is? I think that’s a really admirable dream to have. Kanna-kun, you always act like such a mature adult, but I guess even you have some pure, child-like ambitions too. 

Kanna: Yes. I’m but an immature child, after all. Farewell. 

Raika: Ehh, Kanna-sama!? Wait for me! 

…Well, thank ya very much, Makoto-oniisan! 

Makoto: Mhm, bye-bye~ 

…Huh? But then what could he have meant by "serve as a reference"...?

Raika: Yaay~♪ Kanna-sama, are we here to eat? 

Sniff sniff. …Wahh, there’s a whole buncha good smells comin’ from all over♪

Kanna: No. We did not come here to have a meal, I simply have business to attend to with someone here. 

Raika: Aww~ is that so… 

Kanna: There he is. Over there.

Raika: Uhh, who is that mister? I feel like I’ve seen him before, or maybe not…? 

Kanna: That is Nazuna Nito-san of Ra*bits. I’d imagine you’ve run into him once or twice at the dorm. 

Raika: Uhmm~...? 

Kanna: Nito-san. 

Nazuna: Hmm? *Munch munch*...*Gulp*—Ah~ If I remember correctly, you guys are from Spri, yeah? What’s up? Anything I can do for you? 

Raika: Wahh, wahh♪ That’s some tasty lookin’ fried chicken ya got there~ 

Fried chicken is such a fantastic thing~ The outside is so crisp an’ crunchy, an 'the chicken in the middle is so plump an’ tender—the more ya bite into it the more ya just can’t get enough…♪

Nazuna: Y-yeah, that’s true. I get that. I also like to eat it ‘cause it's delicious. Actually, since you like fried chicken that much, you want a piece? I have a lot, y’know?

Raika: Ya really mean it!? Then I’ll go ahead an’ take you up on your kind offer! Thank ya for the meal♪

*Munch munch* Hyaaaa~ it’s so yummyyyyy♪

Thank ya very much, thank ya so very much! Uhh… What was your name? 

Nazuna: Eh? You came up to me without knowing? 

Raika: Uhmm? I feel like I got told not all that long ago, but I’m a bit of a birdbrain, so… I probably forgot after takin’ a couple steps. 

Nazuna: Oh well, it happens. I’m Nazuna Nito. I’m part of the unit called Ra*bits. 

Raika: Nazuna Nito, Nazuna Nito… Nazuna-oniisan it is! I know it by heart now! I’ll never forget your kindness from that fried chicken for as long as I live! 

Nazuna: Ahaha! It's almost like I gained the trust of a wild animal just by feeding it~ That, and it also feels a little strange to be called “oniichan” from a kid outside my group. 

Uhh, so did the two of you come over here just to extort me of my fried chicken, or…? 

Kanna: No. I would like to see you smile, Nito-san. Look into the camera, if you would so please. 

Nazuna: You wanna see me smile? What’s up with that? 

What the heck, sure. Not like it’s a huge deal or anything. (Smiles)~♪ …How’s that? 

Kanna: Thank you very much. Apologies for interrupting you in the middle of your meal. 

Raika: Nazuna-oniisan, I mean it! I’ll remember this my whole life~! I’ll pay you back someday, just you wait~! 

Nazuna: Yeah~ But it was just a piece of chicken, so you don’t really need to repay me all that much, okay~? 

Hmm~ I heard the newbies this year were an odd bunch, but they might actually be weirder than I thought…? 

[ ☆ ]

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TL Note: Makoto is referring to Kanna's idol story titled "The Child God of Machines," where Keito and Makoto stumble upon Kanna's sleep pod, and end up getting their memories erased by Kanna of the whole ordeal. Or at least partially erased, they believe it was a dream but it totally happened.

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Previous Chapter ~ Next Chapter

[ ♪ ]

Time: The next day

Location: In the Resting Room

Yume: Hic, snff… Esu, listen to Yume! 

Yume can’t think of a design concept at all! Yume’s completely run out of ideas! Yume’s Dream Power is in a pinch~! Sniff sniff. 

Esu: Guhhh…! First–Of–All—STOP STRANGLING MEEEEE…!

Haah, hahh… What the heck are you doing!? First a stalker—are you planning on becoming a murderer too while you’re at it!? 

Spri almost went from a four member group down to three! I swear I saw the light, I’m serious!? 

Yume: Yume wasn’t trying to strangle you. Yume was just hugging you. There’s no need to be so heartless about it…

Esu: Well your arms squeezing the air out of my windpipe begged to differ! 

Anyways, if you really couldn’t come up with anything, then you might’ve been better off picking something ready-made right from the start. 

I think I remember someone saying we could ask our agency for a catalogue? 

Yume: Esu you big stupid idiot! What are you even saying!? Are you asking Yume to compromise!? NEVER! 

Don’t you dare look down on the artistry behind outfit-making! Don’t you know that the more perfect an outfit is, the more perfect the person wearing it becomes!? Stupid stupid stupid STUPID!!

Esu: I-I got it! My bad! That was really thoughtless on my part, I’m sorry! 

Yume: As long as you understand, that’s all that matters. Yume is such a generous person, so Yume will pardon you for your crimes. 

Esu: Haah… Over here, over there—I feel like I’m being attacked on all sides. 

Yume: “Over there”? 

Esu: Over on Kanna and Raika’s side. 

Yume: Are they seriously still at it? 

Esu: Yeeup, still at it. Which is why I’m starting to get a little worried, I think a check-in might do us all some good. 

Oooi~! Kanna, Raika, how’s it hangin’~? How are we~? Making good progress I hope~? 

Raika: Hoo, haaa... Here I go! “What kind of math do birds like…? Algebra!”* 

Kanna: ……..

Raika: …Hwahhh! Even though I got this book out an' everythin’! “100 Jokes that are Guaranteed to Make You Laugh”! This is false advertisin’! 

Kanna: No. Raika-san, I do not believe you read the joke properly. 

If I were to make a guess, the punchline should be “Owlgebra.” 

Raika: N-no way… To think I can’t say a joke correctly cause the words are too hard…! 

Esu: Yeah. Am I in hell? 

Yume: Yume feels like we’ll lose brain cells the longer we’re here. 

Raika: Eh? Yume-san and Esu-sama? When did you get here? 

Kanna: Esu-san, the reason we’re in this situation as we are is due to the consequences of your actions. Please reflect upon that. 

Esu: After getting a look at whatever that was—you’re right, I should reflect a little. 

I heard from Anzu-san earlier this morning that you’d been having trouble with your special training, so I thought I’d pop in to see for myself. 

Raika: Aye. I sure have been havin’ a whole lotta trouble. I’m hopeless, aren’t I… 

But y’know, today's me is different from yesterday's me! Cause Anzu-oneesan gave me some real good advice yesterday! 

Kanna: Advice? What kind of advice? 

Raika: She taught me that there are many different kindsa smiles out there, ya just gotta look for ‘em! 

But I wasn’t quite sure what she meant at first… So I went an’ spent the whole night mullin’ it over. 

An’ after all that thinkin’—even a birdbrain like me was able to figure it out! 

People smile when they’re happy! So if jokes are no good, then I just gotta do somethin’ that’ll make Kanna-sama happy! 

Here goes—Kanna-sama! Please tell me what kindsa stuff you enjoy, tell me about what makes you happy! 

Kanna: Something that will make me happy… 

……..

If I were to uncover the mysteries of this world with my own two hands, at the same time, inventing something new—that would be incredibly fulfilling. 

For instance, there is still much yet to be said of space—such as the mystery of dark matter and dark energy, accounting for 85% of the universe. Or what of the Voynich Manuscript, remaining undecipherable to this day? Or maybe the Black Knight Satellite—does it truly exist? If so, what is its objective? Something along these lines would suffice. 

Raika: He beat meeeeee! I surrender! ‘M so sorry I just can’t do it! Uweeeehhh! 

Esu: EHHHH!? Aren’t you giving up too early!? 

Raika: But… It’s just…! I meant somethin’ more like, eatin’ a sweet an’ sugary cake… Or eatin’ some yummy meat—or even some freshly caught fish! That’s more what I had in mind… 

Yume: Isn’t that all just food? That’s only something that would make you happy, Raika-chan. 

Kanna: I’m not of the disposition that is swayed by food, therefore that kind of thing would not bring me joy. 

Raika: T-then! What about this glossy acorn—or the shape of a completely intact snake shed, OR findin’ the biggest rhinoceros beetle you’ve ever seen up in the mountains!? 

Kanna: I have absolutely no interest in any of that whatsoever. 

Raika: ~Shock!~

Uu. I’ve been completely an’ utterly defeated…! 

Esu: That’s certainly a lineup any mountain kid would enjoy. 

Yume: If you think that’s enough to make someone happy then there’s clearly something wrong with your head. 

Hmph. Raika-chan’s garbage plan aside, this is all Kanna-chan’s fault in the first place. 

All this for a little smile, what an annoying guy. Smiling isn’t even that hard, just do it. 

Esu: Who knew it’d be this tricky~ Guess I was overly optimistic, once again! Man, I really gotta work on that! 

If only there were a wizard that’d show up and save us, like one of those helper characters you see in video games. 

If we don’t get someone to cast a spell that'll make Kanna’s smile stick, then doesn’t that mean we’ve got no hope of getting him to smile ever…? 

Yume: ......!

…Magical boy… Magic to make someone smile… At the crossroads between dream and reality, becoming someone else within the land of dreams…  

That's Yume's Esu! Yume knew it, Esu really is the prince who will rescue Yume…♪

Esu: Eh? Wait, did I just say something that’d rescue you? 

Kanna: …The advice that Raika-san received from Anzu-san. “There are many different kinds of smiles, you just have to look for them”…

—That phrase alone speaks volumes for a bright future. 

[ ☆ ]

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TL Note: The original line here was a completely Japanese pun 『トナカイは大人でやすかい?』, which doesn't work due to Raika's speaking quirk. Which Kanna subsequently points out, no Raika, it is 『トナカイは大人かい?』 ...I cannot explain this pun to you. In any case I had to completely rework this section.

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Yume: So, in the end, we never decided on what we were going to do for the Fan ThanX Festival. 

Esu: Well we can’t just rush these things! I have to think it over more. 

Besides, getting Kanna to level up is our main priority at the moment! 

Yume: Kanna-chan and Raika-chan will be busy with their special training starting from tomorrow… Fufu, fufufufu♪

Esu: What. What’s with the creepy laugh? 

Yume: It’ll be just the two of us, Yume and Esu. 

Which means Yume and Esu will get to enjoy our honeymoon to the fullest until the pests come back… Fufufu♪

Esu: Honeymoon my ass. Speaking of which, do you really have to call them pests? We’re in the same unit, so could you knock it off? Spite has its limits, y’know? 

Like, what are you gonna do if paparazzi show up? That kind of gossip spreads like wildfire. 

Also can you not go deciding that now's the right time for a vacation. Us not having a plan for Fan ThanX is one thing, but don’t forget that we still have our usual stuff to take care of, like preparations for the live. 

Yume: Preparations for the live…  

Esu: We’ve gotta do our very best if anything, so those two can do their special training completely distraction free. 

Yume: If it's a live we’re talking about then that means we’ll need outfits…

Esu: Eh? Did you just say something? 

Yume: Esu, leave the outfits to Yume. Yume will design the perfect stage outfits for our live. 

Esu: Eh? Not that I really mind, but… Are you sure you’ll be alright doing all that on your own? Isn’t that a lot of work? 

Yume: Nuh-uh, to be honest, other people would just get in the way. Yume wants no one else disturbing Yume’s world. Well, Esu is fine, but not if you’re the Creator. You have to be a prince. 

Esu: Yeah. I have absolutely no clue what you’re talking about!

Anyway, so I should give this to you cause you really wanna do it yourself?

Alrighty then, go for it. You'd be saving me the trouble, honestly.

Yume: Now that that’s decided, Yume has to get started right away on the design. We’ll have to go our separate ways here. 

Esu. Yume knows how lonely you get whenever we're apart, but please don’t be sad. 

It’s okay, because you can reach Yume whenever through telepathy. No matter where we are, we’ll always be on the same wavelength. Yume will see you later, don’t be sad! 

Esu: I can count the number of times we’ve been on the same wavelength on a single hand, are you out of your MIND!?—Oh, he already left. 

He always gets super pumped whenever it comes to outfit making, that Yume. It’s a huge help though, so not like I’m complaining. 

Time: Several days after the start of the crash course

Location: Season Avenue

Yume: Yume couldn’t find any good motifs for our outfits at the shopping center the other day. 

It’d be nice if something just fell from the sky into Yume’s lap…

Okay then, which shop should Yume take a peek in first? 

Tomoya: Oooi~ Yume! 

Yume: Hmm? It sounds like someone is calling for Yume…? Who is it? The person calling for Yume… Could it be a fairy? 

Tomoya: It’s me, just me. 

Yume: Mashiro-san. Aw come on, you’re not a fairy. What a letdown. 

Tomoya: You’re still just as rude as ever to your seniors. So Yume, did you also come here to shop? 

Yume: Yume isn’t here to shop. Yume is here to find outfit ideas for our Fan ThanX live. 

Tomoya: Oh~ the Fan ThanX Festival, huh? For Ra*bits, we’re planning on hosting a radio program. What’s Spri doing? 

Yume: Who cares. 

Tomoya: “Who cares”...? What do you mean? Aren’t we talking about our Fan ThanX preparations? 

Yume: They’re busy searching for smiles or something last Yume checked. 

Tomoya: ?

Time: At the same time

Location: The ES Dance Room

Raika: —Let’s play first one to laugh loses, a~pu~pu~! (Makes a funny face) 

Kanna: ………

Raika: …So that’s no good either~! Kanna-sama, your face hasn’t budged a single bit! 

Kanna: Apologies, I was unable to laugh. 

That being said, Raika-san. You have a very well-proportioned face, therefore even by distorting your expression a little, it does not end up looking comical in the slightest. 

Raika: No way…To think the face I was born with would betray me like this! 

Ha! But that means now’s the perfect time to put that thing I brought to use! 

The employee at the store I bought ‘em from said these are sure to make you laugh yourself silly!

Kanna-sama! Prepare yourself! (Takes out a pair of gag nose glasses) 

Kanna: Even if you wear those gag glasses, I don’t find them particularly amusing, making your efforts all but pointless. 

Raika: ~Shock!~

Uu… I wasn’t able to make Kanna-sama smile today either… 

Pyaaa!? W-who’s there? Who’s tappin’ on my shoulder—

Ah, it’s Anzu-oneesan! Good afternoon! 

Phew… Ahh, so you were worried about me? Thank ya very much, Anzu-oneesan! 

Right now I’m just beatin’ myself up due to my own no good helplessness…

Eh, ya mean it? Then by all means, I’d love for ya to lend an ear.

To tell ya the truth, this and that happened… An’ so I just can’t get Kanna-sama to smile, no matter what I try! Esu-sama trusted me an’ it all just came to nothin’... 

It’s just like I thought, there’s no way someone as borin’ as me could’ve made Kanna-sama smile. It was downright impossible from the start. 

Eh? Types of smiles…? Just what are you talkin’ about? 

Aye… Aye. There are a bunch of different kindsa smiles, so I just gotta try lookin’ for 'em…Uh?

Eh~? Uu~...? 

No, I got it! Ahh, but your explanation was a little hard to understand, an’ I still don’t think I get it very well. 

But don’t you worry, I’ll make sure to take your words to heart…! 

[ ☆ ]

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Time: Several days after the handshake event

Location: In the Resting Room

Esu: Ughhhh…

Raika: Esu-sama? You’ve been mumblin an’ grumblin’ ever since earlier, is there somethin’ worryin’ ya? 

Esu: “Worryin’” is putting it lightly—if anything, just thinking about our current circumstances is causing me nothing but grief. 

Yume: Yume doesn’t think the handshake event was a total disaster, though? So like, it’s fine, isn’t it?  

Kanna: The shameful rumors surrounding me didn’t last very long. They seem to have all but disappeared, no longer being the topic of discussion. From my understanding, a large majority of comments appear rather favorable. 

Given the circumstances, wouldn’t you consider it to have gone decently well? 

Esu: Well, yeah, that may be so. 

But just because it was decent this time around doesn’t mean we’re in the clear. And yeah, while the handshake event wasn’t a total failure, I guess I was just hoping for a liiiittle bit more of a positive response. 

Kanna: If anything, I believe it is unreasonable to expect for newly debuted idols to make big waves simply by attending a handshake event. 

Esu: But you’ll never know unless you try! It’s the end of the line when you lose your adventurous spirit! As a human being, mind you! 

Kanna: I don’t believe this is about having an adventurous spirit, this is clearly marketing.

Esu: Well, whether it’s marketing or having an adventurous spirit—anything will do! As long as it nets us more fans. 

Man, if only there were some way we could fix Kanna’s social awkwardness~... It’d broaden our pick of the crop when it comes to jobs too… 

Kanna: Why must you place the blame entirely on me? 

Raika: Social awkwardness… 

Speakin’ of which, I don’t think I’ve ever seen Kanna-sama with a bright beamin’ smile on his face. 

Kanna: ………

Yume: Yume’s never seen it either. Not like Yume really cares. 

Esu: Me either. I’ve never seen him smile once—not a single time even though we’ve known each other for so long now. 

Kanna: So far, there’s never been a situation in which I felt I should smile. Even I am capable of smiling when it is necessary. 

Esu: Um, no? Isn’t smiling something that just happens normally…? 

Kanna: I do not wish to continuously expend my energy on something such as that. Instead, I choose to conserve it—staying in Sleep Mode during the day, so I can always be ready when the need arises. 

Esu: Yeah, “Sleep Mode” isn’t really a thing that living creatures come equipped with.

Actually, do you think that Kanna’s smile is like some sort of cryptid? Actually, isn’t it kind of strange that you'd have as much of a chance at seeing a Chupacabra as you do seeing him smile? 

Ahh! When I think about it that way it makes my adventurer senses tingle! 

I too, wish to have an encounter with the unknown! And now that I have that chance right in front of me, I’m gettin’ all kinds of hyped! 

Kanna, try smiling! So I can live out my dreams and be like the protagonist of the X-files! 

Kanna: …I refuse. It is much too bothersome. 

Esu: Hey now, hey now, don’t say that! Just for a second! Okay? Just a teensy bit! 

Kanna: I refuse. You’re as irritating as usual, but the added persistence makes you even more of a nuisance. 

Esu: Smiles are a must! That goes both for being an idol and for getting fans! I mean, me, Yume, and Raika don’t have any problems when it comes to warmly interacting with the fans. 

Raika: Ehihi~♪ I would also really love to see Kanna-sama’s smile. I’m also askin’, so would it be alright to see it? 

Kanna: ……….

…Haah. Understood. 

…… (Tries with the intent of making a “bright beamin’ smile”)

Esu: Eek…!? 

Raika: Uhiii! That’s terrifyin’...!? 

Yume: Scary. There’s something wrong with this kid. This is exactly the kind of kid that Yume absolutely does NOT want in Yume’s world. 

Kanna: ? Is something the matter? I was certain that employing the use of mimetic muscles, the facial muscles involved in the process of creating what is referred to as a “smile,” was a necessary part of the process. 

Esu: There’s your problem! If you just go about it by imitating facial muscle movement, it gives you this really eerie vibe! 

Kanna: ……….

I wonder if it is similar to the “uncanny valley” phenomenon. I failed to consider that. It seems it will be necessary to fine tune my calibration a touch more. 

Esu: Your “calibration”? As robotic as ever, aren’tcha!? 

Raika: …Hmm? Huh? Anzu-oneesan? What’re ya doin’, watchin’ us from way over there? 

Esu: Ah, Anzu-san! Hello there, thank you for your hard work! 

Eh? You had a hard time deciding if you should come in? ‘Cause it looked like we were having too much fun? 

Yeah, well it’s not all fun and games here. If anything, we just discovered our fatal flaw as idols—as Spri—and I’m just about ready to have a mental breakdown over it. 

Yume: Why are you here, Anzu-san? Do you have something you want from us? 

The Fan ThanX Festival…? Yume’s heard about it, at least. All of the other units have been really busy lately because of it. 

Esu: Eh!? So you’re saying that we’re allowed to participate in it too!? 

Uh, what can I say, I’m a little surprised. We’re still rookies, y’know? So I figured a huge project like that would be way out of our league. 

I mean, new club members are usually just expected to pick up the balls on the court. And if they keep it up, then someday they’ll be able to play for themselves, right? That's how it is with tennis at least.

The Fan ThanX Festival… If I’m remembering correctly, we’d be holding a live and some other event, right? On top of that, we’d be the ones in charge of moving preparations forward. 

Are you sure you’d wanna leave such a huge job like that to us? 

—Thank you so much, Anzu-san! Man, oh man! That mochi fell right off the shelf! A super huge one at that~!

Raika: Ueh!? Huge mochi!? Y’know, I just love mochi sooo much~! So where!? Where’d it fall!? 

Kanna: Raika-san. It is a metaphor. “Mochi falling off the shelf”—meaning, there has been an unexpected gift of good fortune. Naturally, that means there is no mochi here to be found. 

Raika: No way… I feel like I’ve been betrayed… 

Esu: We only just debuted, so I doubt we’ll have a more orthodox kind of Fan ThanX compared to our seniors. 

I’m getting real pumped! We’ll not only have the chance of a lifetime to increase our fans, but we’ll get our name as a unit out there in one fell swoop, just like our agency told us to do! 

Kanna: I admire your optimism, Esu-san. I, for one, am inclined to doubt the sanity of both ES and Anzu-san for letting clueless newcomer idols, only just barely getting a grasp of their surroundings, take charge of an entire project. 

Esu: Are you trying to get fired right now!? Don’t chew out your employer with such a serious look on your face!? 

Raika: The Fan Thanx Festival… I don’t really know what that’s all about, but it sure sounds excitin’! Ehihi~♪

Esu: —Alright! Let’s do this thing! 

Yume: Have you thought about what we should do for it? Esu. 

Esu: Nope, not yet! I kinda just thought we’d figure it out as we go, bit by bit… 

What I do have in mind however, is that we gotta give Kanna a crash course in smiling before the Fan ThanX Festival! 

Kanna: Excuse me? Why would I ever do that? 

Esu: Like I just said, smiling is a must for idols, remember? 

A crash course is absolutely vital to the plan, if you wanna kill two birds with one stone—showing off your new smile and getting yourself more fans—the Fan ThanX Festival is the perfect place to do it! 

As for the next step—Raika. 

Raika: Aye! What is it? 

Esu: Your smile is one of your strongest points, so I want you to be the one to help Kanna out with his special training, become his teacher—that kinda thing. 

Kanna: Please wait just a moment. 

Raika: Me!? I-I-I can’t do that! I could never teach anyone anything, there isn’t a single thing I’d be able to teach! 

Esu: Nah, nah. There’s nothing to worry about here! When it comes to smiling, you’re second to none! I know just much you care about Spri, so of course I’d vouch for you on something like this.

Raika: ………

I understand! I’m not sure how much I'll actually be able to do, but you can leave it to me! 

Kanna-sama, let’s do our best…♪

Kanna: ………

…Understood. 

—Esu-san. Could it be that you intentionally put Raika-san into a leadership position as a means of blocking my escape? 

Esu: Fu-fu-fu. We didn’t overcome all those hardships together just for show, did we partner?♪

[ ☆ ]

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Previous Chapter ~ Next Chapter

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Time: The day of the handshake event

Location: At the event venue

Esu: Yup, yup!—Got it!

The fans are gonna be led through here, and then all we’ll have to do is take turns shaking their hand! Then finally the staff members will lead them to the exit…Sounds good! 

Don’t worry, we got this! Please take care of us today! 

Alrighty~ Did you all hear the staff member’s explanation? 

Remember, our each and every move is tied to our reputation, so let’s give it everything we’ve got today! 

Raika: Aye! I’ll work hard so I won’t be abandoned! 

Yume: Fufu, Yume is so happy to see Esu in such high spirits. Yume’s heart even skipped a beat! Yume will do Yume’s very best♪ Fufufu~ 

Kanna: I suppose I will take the appropriate measures, to some extent. It concerns the matter of my own security as well, so it would be quite the inconvenience if I were to be fired. 

Esu: (—Ah! Our first fan is here!) 

Ah, hello~ Thank you so much for coming out to see us today! I’m so happy♪

Eh? You’re getting a prickly feeling...? Uh, I wonder what—

Yume: …….. (Intensely Glaring) 

Esu: (Hey, why you little~! Is this seriously the time to get jealous!? I’m begging you, hold it in! Just for today, please!) 

Yume: (Breathes out) …....

So you came all that way to meet us? Thank you. I hope this moment becomes a dreamy memory for our Heart-chan♪

Esu: (Oh thank god, he was able to hold it in! As expected from a former cosplayer! His ability to stay in character is on point~!) 

Yume: Mhm, thanks. As long as you’re happy then Yume is happy too. 

Esu: (Hmm. Well, ego aside, he has been active in this kind of scene for some time now. When push really comes to shove he’s able to interact with the fans pretty well~ that Yume.) 

(Mhm. Doesn’t seem like there’ll be any issues on Yume’s side.)

(Uhh, okay next, how’s Raika doing—)

Raika: Hyaa! Thank ya so much for supportin’ all of us! Havin’ Heart-chan cheer me on always gives me such a boost~♪

Esu: (Thatta boy! Looks like he’s managing just fine thanks to that innate friendliness of his! I’m not really getting a prince vibe, but oh well, as long as the fans are happy.) 

(All that’s left is to check on Kanna…) 

Kanna: Thank you very much for coming to see us today.

Esu: (Let’s go! Kanna’s got it on lock too! A little stiff, but I’ll give him a pass!) 

(Maybe I was worried for nothing. I mean they’re idols, maybe a little rough around the edges, but idols nonetheless. I’ve gotta have more faith in my members as their leader! I'll have to work on that!) 

Kanna: Thank you very much for coming to see us today.

Esu: (Mhm, mhm♪)

Kanna: Thank you very much for coming to see us today.

Esu: …Hm? 

Kanna: Thank you very much for coming to see us today.

Esu: (Whaaaaat!?) 

(This isn’t just stiff!? Isn’t that basically a scripted response!?) 

(Forget not being very good at socializing, this has to be a joke no matter how you spin it! Look! That fan is scared out of their mind! I mean, it is scary!) 

Kanna: …Excuse me. 

Esu: (Hm? No way! Could we have possibly gotten a new reaction out of KannaBot9000!? Has he finally decided to interact with the fans!?) 

Kanna: Why is it that you have so many of the same can badge attached to your bag? 

Judging by the material of the badges themselves, each one alone must weigh around 10 grams. Therefore, if you have attached over 70 of them, you must be carrying a load of over 700 grams. 

What might be the behavioral psychology behind intentionally carrying a load such as this? Does it serve as a form of training, perhaps? 

Esu: (EEEEEEEEK!? What on EARTH are you SAYING!?) 

Kanna: Hm, so this has become popular as of late? I myself do not quite understand it, but that’s often how it goes when it comes to trends. It seems to have strong defensive capabilities. Like chainmail, in a sense. 

Time: A few hours later

Location: The waiting room after the handshake event

Esu: That whole talk we had beforehand, were you guys listening at ALLL!?

The whole—“Our each and every move is tied to our reputation, so let’s give it everything we’ve got today!” Any of that ring a bell!? 

Yume: Wow, Kanna-chan, always the troublemaker, isn’t he? 

Esu: That goes for you too. I thought everything was going well at first, but then somewhere down the line you started taking an insane amount of breaks. 

Imagine my surprise when I got asked by a fan “Is Yume not here today?” only to look to the side and see that you’d vanished into thin air! 

State just how I felt in that moment in under ten words or less! 

Yume: “I hope Yume is alright”…? 

Esu: No, it was more like “Where the hell did he go!?” 

Yume: But, Esu… You don’t understand. Yume couldn’t stand having one-on-one contact anymore, to the point where Yume felt like Yume was going to hurl. 

Esu: SEE! Being rude comes as easily as breathing to you! AS BREATHING!

Raika: Ehihi~ So even an angel like Yume-san has flaws, huh~ I feel a whole lot closer to ya somehow! 

Yume: Raika-chan. 

Raika: Aye! What can I do for ya? 

Yume: Disappear from this world. 

Esu: Are you trying to erase his very existence!? 

Raika: That’s so cruel!? 

Ehihihi~♪ But y’know lately there’s a part of me that actually kinda looks forward to the mean things Yume-san says to me. I don't know how to feel about that.

Yume: Creepy… 

Esu: You too, Raika! You’re not off the hook either!

Raika: Eh? But I felt like I was doin’ my best? Did I mess somethin’ up without realizin’? 

Esu: I thought you handled everything pretty well, actually. And while I didn’t really get a sense of any princely vibes, your friendliness more than made up for it. The fans were happy, and that's what counts.

On that note! Empty your pockets. 

Raika: Eek!? W-w-w-what are you talking about…? 

Esu: The gift you got from that fan you so sneakily stashed away, what else would I be talking about? You can’t fool these eyes! The staff told us to refuse any and every gift we got offered, remember!? 

Raika: Uehhh!? ‘M sorry, ‘m so sorry! 

Once I’m told there’s a delicious treat right in front of me, I can't just pretend it doesn’t exist! An’ then there I go takin’ it home with me before I even notice! 

Esu: Why are you talking about this as if you picked up a stray cat or something!? You really think that’ll get you out of this!? You’re talking about snacks for goodness sake! 

And that brings us to the worst of the bunch—Kanna! 

Kanna: Eh…? 

Esu: Nah, nah, nah, don’t give me that look like I’m the one being unreasonable! If anything, I’m the only one allowed to look that way right now!  

Kanna: I believe I have performed the general requirement in accordance with what one would refer to as a “Handshake event.”  

Esu: Well, I don’t believe that at all!? You said the same prepackaged line to every fan that came through! With the exact same movements to boot, down to the very last detail! Who wouldn’t be scared, let alone the fans!? 

And because of that—look! Our fans have been writing their thoughts about our event on SNS. 

“Did Kanna suddenly disappear, then to prevent the public from finding out, they created a state-of-the-art android to replace him”?—Or so it goes. That’s the rumor that’s been floating around. 

There’s no way in hell an idol like that could ever exist!!!

[ ☆ ]

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Previous Chapter ~ Next Chapter

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Time: A few hours after Tsukasa's Summons

Location: Cafe Cinnamon

Esu: Haaaaaaaah. Crap… 

Yume: Okay Esu, say Aaa~♪

Esu: *Munch munch*… *Gulps*—We’re in big trouble. 

Our agency might really end up turning their back on us if we keep messing up like this…

Doesn’t that mean Spri would become the one and only idol group to ever debut and disband within the course of a month!? 

We’re gonna make a new record for the fastest to bring dishonor upon the ES name at this rate…! What are we, Akechi Mitsuhide*!? We’ve gotta do something before it’s too late! 

Yume: Here, Aaa~♪

Esu: And just what have you been doing this whole time? *Nom nom nom* You’ve just been stuffing my mouth full of your parfait, am I some sort of prized goose to you? 

Yume: Look, isn’t this parfait super cute? 

Esu: Yeah, that doesn’t answer my question at all. You can’t just slap the word “cute” onto everything and call it communication. 

If anything, it shows you’re lacking communication skills. Oh? I’m getting a call, it’s for you. WAKE UP! 

Yume: Who cares about complicated things like that. Now open wide, Aaa~♪

Esu: daAAAA!! Listen to me, dammit! 

Actually, you ordered this for yourself so shouldn’t you be the one eating it?  

Yume: Yume is already full. Yume got to take a bunch of cute pictures, and Yume is more than satisfied with that.

Besides, a mothers love is all about wanting to feed her cute as a button child something delicious♪

Esu: Police!? Help, there’s some crazy pervert trying to forge their way into my family registry!! 

Yume: Don’t yell in public. You’re too loud, you’re being a nuisance. 

Esu: And whose fault is that, huh? Also, having you of all people preach common sense to me is pissing me off~ 

More importantly, did you hear me? It’s an emergency! The survival of Spri is at stake right now! 

Yume: Don’t blame Yume for everything. If you look over there, the ones who should be listening haven’t been paying attention at all. 

Raika: I wonder what kinda food this ”Ahogaato*” is? I’m feelin’ a sense of solidarity with a name like that.

Kanna: It is not pronounced “Ahogaato,” but rather, “Affogato.” 

Raika: Aho…Fo, gato? Uu, look at me, trippin' all over my words.

Kanna: An “Affogato” is an Italian dessert, in which cold ice cream is topped with a warm espresso. 

Raika: “Esupresso”? Another fancy-pants name appeared. The mystery just keeps gettin’ deeper an’ deeper. 

Kanna: “Espresso” refers to a more potent coffee that is obtained after applying pressure to coffee beans for a short duration. 

Raika: Haha, Kanna-sama is as knowledgeable as ever…♪

How should I go about gettin’ all smart like that? I’d like to try bein’ as smart as that just once in my life. 

Kanna: I wonder? I’m not quite sure, considering I’ve had my intellect ever since I was born. 

Your phrasing of “gettin’ all smart,’ as you put it, is much too ambiguous in the first place. 

It depends moreso on which part you would like to focus on. Whether that is by improving your learning capacity, memorization skills, intellectual agility, numerical assessment skills, and or problem-solving skills. 

The approaches and study methods differ between each respective sector, therefore—

Raika: ♪〜♪〜♪

Kanna: …Raika-san? Are you listening to me? 

Raika: Eh? You started goin’ on an’ on about complicated things, so I thought you weren’t talkin’ to me. 

Esu: ………..

Well yeah, when I look at the sorry state we’re in I can’t help but empathize with our agency. No wonder they’re worried. 

This is bad, this is so bad! Even at the best of times we stick out like a sore thumb! 

Yume: Eh, you think so? If that’s all it takes for them to not be accepting of newcomers, then they really are some closeminded people, aren’t they? 

Esu: And who was it that loudly expressed their frustration with the judging on 4piece, acting like a selfish brat? 

And just who is the culprit going around saying rude things about their seniors as naturally as they breathe?

Yume: Hmm? Wow, Kanna-chan, always the troublemaker, isn’t he…?

Esu: It’s you, you’re the one I’m talking about here. Don’t give me that look like this has nothing to do with you. 

I mean, Kanna and Raika are also part of the problem, don't get me wrong. That’s why I’m begging you—please, can you pretty please behave yourselves, for me? 

Raika: Wait, me too!?

‘M sorry, I’m so sorry! Please forgive me! Wehh~! 

Esu: Stop it—can we stop with the kneeling in public like this!? This is what I meant! This is the thing I’m talking about! Look, the other customers are giving me a piercing stare! It hurts!  

Okay back to my point. If we keep this up, then the day our agency decides to throw in the towel on Spri might not be too far off. 

Raika: HyaAAA! T-this is awful! If we get chased out, then I won’t have a home anymore! I don’t wanna go back to The Facility! 

Esu: Right? Which is why I thought up a plan so that they won’t abandon us. 

Kanna: A plan? 

Esu: Yup! I thought it’d be a good idea for us to participate in an event, specifically one that specializes in fanservice. 

Raika: So if I do that, does that mean I won’t get abandoned? 

Kanna: So you’re essentially planning for us to curry favor with the fans, thus raising our likability—then finally, presenting that newfound popularity as an achievement to our agency.

Esu: That might be putting it bluntly, but essentially, yeah. 

Yume: An event specializing in fanservice…? 

Yume is against it. Yume would rather not have direct communication with the fans. It's something Yume was able to avoid in the past, but ever since becoming an idol it’s becoming more and more of a hassle. 

Kanna: This is the first time that Yume-san and I are of the same opinion. I agree. It is bothersome. 

Esu: Oi, you two Bothersome Brothers over there. Could you try to coexist with others, maybe even a little!? 

You guys have been living in your own little worlds for way too long. Get out of your bubble and join the group already!? 

Anyway.  We’re absolutely participating—end of story! I won’t hear any and-if-or-buts about it! Leader’s orders! 

I don’t really like pulling the authority card, but at least for today, I’m glad to be leader. 

Kanna: Haah. What kind of event is it exactly that you want us to participate in? 

Esu: I’m so glad you asked! We just got the offer actually—for a shopping mall handshake event! I think we’ll take it! 

I was a little on the fence about the whole thing, especially since you two looked really uncomfortable with the idea… 

But it’s not very difficult, and better yet, it’ll raise our fan count by a mile. So when you think of it that way, isn’t it the perfect job for us? 

Kanna: Well, when compared to a job with clearly defined figures, the criteria for success is unclear. This is quite advantageous for us, as it makes it much easier to manipulate agency perceptions that we did in fact succeed. 

Esu: I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again—you gotta be careful with your phrasing! When you put it that way it makes me sound like a total scumbag, you hear me!? 

A-ny-way! We’re gonna make this job a total success, no matter what it takes—or our name isn’t Spri~! 

[ ☆ ]

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TL Notes:

Akechi Mitsuhide was a Japanese samurai general from the Sengoku period. Originally a bodyguard for the last Ashikaga shogun, he later became one of the trusted generals of Oda Nobunaga. He betrayed Nobunaga in what is dubbed the Honnou-ji Incident (1582) which ended in Nobunaga's death. Toyotomi Hideyoshi, another trusted general of Nobunaga's hunted him down out of vengeance, finally ending his life 13 days after Nobunaga. However, for 13 days, and 13 days only, Mitsuhide had "ruled" all of Japan. This is what Esu is referring to when he compared themselves to Mitsuhide.

2. "Aho" means fool. Oh Raika you sweet summer child...

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[ ♪ ]

Time: The next day

Location: The Lobby of ES

Esu: —Listen up! If we are here to get scolded then we get on our knees into a dogeza, no questions asked, got it!? 

Raika: Aye aye~ (Prostrates himself) 

Esu: Not right now!? Don’t just kneel down here of all places!? If anything, now you’re just giving them more reasons to be mad at us!? 

Kanna: Nevertheless, to my knowledge, there has been no confirmation nor indication as to whether we have been called here to be reprimanded or not.

Yume: He’s definitely just getting ahead of himself. Esu’s always been such a careless person, after all.

Esu: If Kanna’s reasoning is anything to go by, we might be getting scolded, but then we also might not be getting scolded. So that basically means nothing!

Also could you not arbitrarily make me out to be a careless guy? 

Not like I have any idea of that myself, but still! 

Really, in what world would you get an urgent call from your agency and not think that maybe—just maybe—it’s because you did something wrong! I can't be alone in thinking this, right!?

Anyway, we’ll find out the reason when we get to the office, for sure! 

…Hello~ good mo~rning. Spri reporting for duty~ 

Tsukasa: Ah, hello there everyone. My apologies for calling you here all of a sudden. 

Esu: No, no! Please don’t worry about that! We’re just rookies with way too much time on our hands, so it’s no big deal! 

Umm… That being said, what did you need from us exactly…? 

Tsukasa: I’ve met each of you in various circumstances already, however, let me take the time to reintroduce myself.

My name is Tsukasa Suou, and I serve as the 𝐼𝒹𝑜𝓁 representative of NewDi. I look forward to working with you all. If you have any questions, or if there is anything I could be of assistance with, please be sure to let me know. 

Esu: Ah, right. I heard the same from someone else in the office. Us too, we’ll be in your care.  

Umm… We heard from NiceP that we were being urgently summoned, so we came as fast as we could. 

But uh, what exactly did we get called here for…? 

Tsukasa: Despite being a newly formed unit, you all have been working as much as possible to broaden your reach as “Spri”—taking on various activities here and there. 

One of which being 𝒮𝓃𝑜𝓌 𝒲𝒽𝒾𝓉𝑒, the ad campaign for “The Princess 𝒮𝑒𝓇𝒾𝑒𝓈” that you took on shortly after your debut. I heard it was a complete success. 

I find your efforts to be a truly remarkable thing. Take, for example, your answers from your magazine 𝐼𝓃𝓉𝑒𝓇𝓋𝒾𝑒𝓌 the other day. 

Esu: ……..

Huh? So…We aren’t here to be scolded, but to be praised? 

Tsukasa: ? Is something the matter? 

Esu: No, well… I was bracing myself for the scolding of a lifetime the entire way over after we got told we were being summoned. 

So, contrary to expectations, getting complimented made me feel somewhat relieved. I guess I wasted my time worrying! 

Tsukasa: Ah, is that so? Please rest assured, in that case. 

As the real scolding begins right now♪

Showing benevolence is what any good leader would do, is it not? My very own senior boasted that presenting candy before the whip is shown to be a much more effective method at putting impudent brats in their place. 

Esu: You just said "putting the candy before the whip," didn't you!? Instead of benevolence, that’s just straight up prolonging our suffering! 

Are you a total sadist or something!? And also could you maybe not be more of an S than me when that’s literally my name!? 

Yume: Hey, Esu. Yume’s getting the feeling that there’s something seriously wrong with this guy.  

Esu: AHHHHH!? Well I thought that too, I’ll admit! But no matter how true it is, that doesn’t make it alright for you to just say it out loud, got it!? 

Yume: It’s not good for your health to bottle things up like that, Esu. You’re the type of kid that can’t help but tough it out on your own, mommy’s worried about you. 

Esu: I have never, not even for a single second, thought of you as my mother! I’ve told you this over and over and OVER, haven’t I!? AHH, SERIOUSLY! The more you talk, the more complicated everything gets! 

Raika: Aye aye~ (Prostrates himself)

Esu: Yup, yup. I do remember saying to drop into a dogeza if we ended up getting scolded, but I think you're just a liiittle bit too early there!

How about we hear him out first and then beg for forgiveness, okay? Because you’re lookin’ like a commoner kneeling in front of a Shogun right now! 

Tsukasa: Um, excuse me. May I continue with our discussion now? 

Esu: Ah, yeah! Sorry about that! Being able to instantly derail conversations happens to be one of my specialties. I mean, where would we be in life if we didn’t take some detours, right? 

Tsukasa: You say that, but is that not just a convoluted way of doing things…? 

In any case. It is true that you all are quite inexperienced as 𝐼𝒹𝑜𝓁𝓈. Please bear this in mind. 

However…That does not mean you are completely hopeless. As I told you earlier, I believe you all have been working very hard and doing as much as you can to get your name out there. 

Nevertheless, Kanna-kun… Some improvements will be in order for you in particular.

Kanna: Haah, I see. So that’s how it is. I suppose that means we're in trouble? 

Esu: Hey, don’t say it like it’s not your problem!? 

Uh, Suou-senpai? Just out of curiosity, what might Kanna’s problem be, exactly? 

Tsukasa: I received reports of your 𝐼𝓃𝓉𝑒𝓇𝓋𝒾𝑒𝓌 from the other day, that he did not so much as move a single muscle. To the point where those in the surroundings not only asked if he were alright…

But even went as far as to question his wellbeing.

Raika: Ah! That did happen, didn’t it~? 

When I first heard about it from Kanna-sama, I thought for sure it was a joke. An’ then I happened to see it with my own two eyes. 

The way he was stuck right in place—you’d think he was a grey heron stalkin’ its prey or somethin’. 

Esu: It’s not that I don’t get where you’re coming from, Tsukasa-senpai, but that’s just kinda how Kanna normally is. 

Would it be too much to ask for you to overlook it, just this once? 

It’s not that he’s mean to the fans or anything, he’s just not very... Social. He’s more of a shoebill than a grey heron in my opinion. He moves sometimes! 

Tsukasa: And NewDi has no intentions of looking after a shoebill. 

Moving on. I fully understand your argument, Esu-kun. However, your 𝐹𝒶𝓃𝓈 will inevitably start to complain if he continues to lack amicability. 

Our profession revolves around public approval. If there are any outstanding issues that continuously harm that relationship of mutual trust with your 𝐹𝒶𝓃𝓈, consequently, your 𝐹𝒶𝓃𝒷𝒶𝓈𝑒 will cease to grow from that moment forward. 

And perhaps even decline… Effectively putting your future as 𝐼𝒹𝑜𝓁𝓈 in jeopardy if the situation were to ever reach that point!  

Yume: Well if that happens, then Yume and Esu could form a unit with just the two of us. That would solve all of our problems. 

Esu: What are you, a demon!? 

Raika: Huh!? What about me!? 

Esu: NiceP put his trust in us—in Spri! So we have to succeed no matter what! 

Tsukasa: You are correct, unequivocally so♪

And thus, with the intent of raising your 𝐿𝑒𝓋𝑒𝓁 as 𝐼𝒹𝑜𝓁𝓈, NewDi has given Spri an assignment! 

Esu: A-an assignment…? 

Tsukasa: Precisely! As for the details of that assignment—you must increase Kanna’s 𝐹𝒶𝓃 count within the deadline! 

[ ☆ ]

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TL Note: The 'Dogeza' is a part of traditional Japanese etiquette which involves bowing deeply to express apology/regret/show deference to an individual of higher status.

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