sleepyheadlemonbread

A heavy heart with an unknown reason 

A piano in a distinct set of tone 

A note that makes the rain fall

I know I’m not at my best

But trust me I’m doing all that I can

I’m facing my fear 

I feel all alone 

The emptiness I feel inside won’t fill

No there’s nothing much left to say

I don’t even know who I am 

This pain is too much to take

No there’s nothing left for me to say 

I feel like giving up, okay?

Just let me go I need to be alone

Chorus:

‘Cause in my dreams

There’s no more pain 

Waking up is actually a nightmare here

I’ve been all alone 

I’ll stay alone

The emptiness I feel inside won’t fill

Can you stop giving me False Hope?

Just let me go

Ohh oh oh oh ohhh oh oh ohhh ohh (x2)

I know I’m not at my best

But trust me I’m doing all that I can

I’m facing my fear

I feel all alone

The emptiness I feel inside won’t fill

No there’s nothing much left to say

I don’t even know who I am

This pain is too much to take

No there’s nothing left for me to say

I feel like giving up, okay?

Just let me go I need to be alone

Chorus:

‘Cause in my dreams

There’s no more pain

Waking up is actually a nightmare here

I’ve been all alone

I’ll stay alone

The emptiness I feel inside won’t fill

Can you stop giving me False Hope?

Just let me go

Ohh oh oh oh ohhh oh oh ohhh ohh (x2)

No there’s nothing much left to say

I don’t even know who I am

This pain is too much to take

No there’s nothing left for me to say

I feel like giving up, okay?

Just let me go I need to be alone

Chorus:

‘Cause in my dreams

There’s no more pain

Waking up is actually a nightmare here

I’ve been all alone

I’ll stay alone

The emptiness I feel inside won’t fill

Can you stop giving me False Hope?

Would you stop giving me False Hope? 

Please just stop giving me False Hope?

Well, you see, there is this flower that is very special to me. Not because it’s beautiful but because it smells very nice. It was the only flower I fell in love with. Every afternoon, as a kid, I go out and visit the old road where I can smell their scent. Strangely enough even after all these years, I still do not know the name nor what the flower looks like. Maybe because I was just a small lad back then and I couldn’t see them over the tall walls of the old factory. I remember asking my mother about it and she said it like a hundred times now and I still forget about it. But, one thing is for sure, I will never forget the attracting scent of it. I revisited my old address one time and the flower was already gone. It’s been 10 years since the last time I’ve been there. If only for a minute I can once again see the beauty of it and smell their fragrance, I would. 

“The Dancing Fools”

Which of the fools do you think was drawn first?

When will we know if it’s episodic or permanent? When people say so? When our feelings say so? When our brain say so? Whom should we trust these kind of things? Things we’ll never understand. When we got His attention? When He whispered that everything will be okay? That we don’t have to fear anything? How will we know? By reading? By praying as hard as we can? By weeping? When our knees hit the ground? Did He actually look at us when tears came flowing to our cheeks? When we know that all we can do is to mourn? Is that when we truly open up our hearts? When did we actually surrendered? 

When will we know? When the heaven came down to comfort us from all the pain we’ve been trying to hide? From our friends? Family? Mentors? From people who actually cares? When we’ll be able to find a vessel where we can pour out all of these darkness we have in store inside us? When will we know that we are heard when words seem nowhere to be found.

Alas, the hooded man tripped down. He has no more strength on his knees. The rain is still heavy and the raging storms continues. Maybe the only good thing is that the vultures are not around to mistakenly bit him because he looks like a corpse. But he knows deep inside, he already is one. “I think this is it.” the flames of ember is no more. His sanity came back but it’s too late. The memories of his past came crashing down like curtains with him. They said before you die, memories and regrets will come flowing down like a heavy rain. And yes indeed, it is heavy. In his heart the very least. “I don’t want to die.” he pleaded with tears came flowing from his cheeks. His long awaited time to just cry it all out came. He no longer cares if he looks weak, he will just let it all out. Because no one was there to begin with. He’s too young to be feeling this, he feel invalidated. He failed miserably all the time he just wanted to stop it all 

All the pain. All the try hards. All the time he feel like not giving up. From all the time he just wanted to cry but he cannot. Emotions come bursting out. Everything. Everything that he cannot tell other people. Even God Himself. 

Oh how cruel. What a bad ending this story has. No context, this doesnt even count as a story for it has no components of such a thing. All the author wrote here was vague. The end. Thank you for reading my short story that I hope I don’t need the feel to continue. 

Last Scene. Never again. 

When will I be able to rest? How long should I walk this barren road? I see no end. All I see was uncertainties and heartbreaking dream. A dream where I can lay down my head just a little bit. I am not asking for an oasis but, only a minute, no, a second of comfort. Away from all the tears that are not coming. They’re storing up all inside my heart, I know I needed to be strong but the child in me was looking for a rest. Oh how cruel, cruel, cruel. Father! Forgive me, I am but a lost lamb. Wait, am I a lamb at the first place? I do not know anymore. Oh let the sun shine on me, or please just a glimpse of the morning star. So I can say that there is a hope, and this was all but just a mere test.

So as long as he has the reason to live on, he will. But every usurper will face the same fate. An inevitable dilemma where a victor is no one. Little by little the ember of light will fade, his stick will break and his wine will run out. Oh fate! How cruel it is to be with you, you hold no grudges but you are the judge of everyone. The end will justify the means, and so we live everyday with fear and misery. 

A hooded man with a single stick and a bottle of wine was walking at the middle of the desert. The rain was heavy and the night was dark. Each step pulls his feet lower to the ground, as if he was walking on a tight rope. It was cruel and dangerous. But strangely, the man was ecstatic and smiles in the midst of the thunderstruck and his aimless journey. Though he was soaking wet and cold, he felt the warm inside and continues to wander the Desert of the Forgotten Ones. 

Tila mas bumibigat ang pakiramdam sa bawat higa

Mga bagay na di maipaliwanag ng mga salita

Can I tell you something weird? It's like wherever our feet brings us, everything just became magical I instantly love everything around me You automatically negate all the things that I've used to hate

The plants because of its bugs The menu because of its pricey food list The sunny weather because I sweat a lot It's like I eventually love everything around me Specially when that "around" is with you

When we haven't met yet I have this view to the world Like, it has colours but, very dull and lame I'm contented but not excited I live knowing that these things are what it is meant to be and it is unchanging

But surprise surprise I saw a glimpse of you and everything that is in my mind became blurry I can't think straight, I have cold feet, my hands are sweating and I'm stuttering I have the weirdest awkward smile and lamest unnecessary hand movement

Everything is muted and all I can hear is the thump of my heartbeat louder than the band playing It's like Freddy Mercury came back to life and started singing We Will Rock You at the tempo of my corazon

You don't seem to notice but my acting practice had paid off I stay as calm as possible and answer you with a straight face As if I don't care about your presence but your presence is burning me If I'm Icarus then you're the sun I would gladly dive in

If I told you that I couldn't still believe everything that is happening between us you might think that I'm exagerrating And I won't blame you But the Heavens above knows and they stand as my witness in front of the jury I would invoke my rights against self incrimination and let them speak for me

Before I end, I would like to tell you something I don't know what happened and what came to you but when I look straight at your eyes you don't looked away Maybe you just got confused, and maybe we're just both alone But whatever the reason is I'm thankful that I met you

I lay down and wait until midnight 

The clock starts ticking and I’m listening to Mozart

While the cello starts a graceful crescendo 

My heart starts beating to the tempo

I lay down and say 

What if I die tonight? 

Would it be tragic? 

Would it be magical?

Would people say it is fate? 

Would they cry? 

Would they say goodbye? 

Would they say we should’ve told him before he died?

So many questions popping out of my head

I look upon the stars and the clouds slowly covered them

“There’s nothing good happening tonight”

I sighed. Sadly sighed.

I lay down to the face of the earth

And still asking who am I in this life

Was I someone meant for more?

Or just a speck of dust in the population that continues to grow

I lay down and asked 

“When did I exactly was born?”

Is it 2 in the morning? 3? Or 12 noon to make it unusual?

Or 11:59 pm to make it look a little bit silly?

I lay down and then my alarm went off

It’s 12 midnight and I’m 23 no more 

I lay down, and down, and down

I’m sorry I am a Lemon

I taste sour and you don’t like sour flavor

I tried being one of your likings 

And do things that will make you happy

But you crushed me 

And make me into something I don’t want to be 

Tears come flowing from me 

But you don’t in a bit feel worried 

I’m sorry I am a Lemon

When life threw me at you 

You don’t have a choice but keep me 

And keep me with a sigh 

But still I’m ecstatic that I am a Lemon

Because I met you but, you hate me

I got to know you but, you don’t want to know me 

I hope I’m no Lemon...

looking at the phone I've been thinking if I ever cross your mind would you do it? But you won't (x3)

Ey, everybody loves it the way you flip your hair like a wave in the ocean ey, everybody likes it your like an alcohol one shot and I'm down  

you don't know how these things work right? making me want to hold you tight

“Sakura Tree”

Utsukushī kimono no naka o aruku bijo  To meet the love of her life Yuki no yō ni koware yasui  Fleeting and fading long gone before we knew it

When her feet meets the earth Daremoga kanojo no megumi ni ikei no nen o daite mitsumete imasu  Mysterious and calming Min'na bikkuri shimashita 

“A Portrait That I Can't Paint”

Beauty is in the eyes of the beholder But behold, your beauty transcends the spectrum these people put together To you, never was a paint wasted For you are fearfully and wonderfully made

Like Leonardo Da Vinci to Mona Lisa Michael Angelo to The Creation of Adam You are a nice piece of art A masterpiece that caught my heart

As I try to recreate your divinity in this canvass I then tremble with fear and excitement Never can I draw your gracefulness-- a speck or a faint After all, you're a portrait that I cannot paint