Sleepy In Seattle

/ Moments like these never last /

"I’ve always taken being a parent and father very seriously. My dad died when I was little – when I was like three-and-a-half – so I grew up without a dad. I always wanted to be much more present in my kids’ lives than the experience that I had. And so any opportunity that I have to spend time with my kids and any opportunity that I have to do something unique with them, I do it. Whether it’s swimming in a pond on the side of a highway somewhere, or climbing mountains, or going off the beaten path, or traveling to Cambodia for six weeks, which we did a year or so ago. Just enriching their life experience while I’m on this planet…Because what having my dad die taught me was that life isn’t permanent. I definitely seize those moments." 

Sometimes I suspect we are all horrible people. Or at least, we are human people. Same thing. We are impatient, judgmental, irritating and irritated, grumpy, easily offended and the rest of it.

So how to be kinder if it doesn’t come naturally? 

Fake it. 

Fake it a little bit at a time. 

Because there isn’t actually any difference between doing something nice for someone because you are naturally saintly and perfect, and doing something nice for someone because you are secretly demonic and trying to cover it up. It’s still an act of kindness either way, and you still made their lives better.

Smile at people. Say hullo. Ask about their lives. Remember what they’ve told you about their lives. Do small things to try and help them. (They will not know you are horrible, do not worry. They will just perceive that you are helping.)

Give people the benefit of the doubt. Remember that it’s more often stupidity to blame than evil, that everyone can screw up (including you) and what’s important is learning from that.

Think “What would an actually kind person do now?” – and do that. Don’t beat yourself up when you fail. Just be as kind to yourself as you will be to others – even if you have to fake that.

We are @libbymarch and @jtully, partners in life and work, based in North Carolina’s Outer Banks. This week we’re bringing you motion and still mashups with a slowly unfolding playlist you can access with our final post. Each mashup’s track is in the ‘location’ bar of each post.)

@erinbrethauer and @timhussin will be taking over #echosight this week. Erin is a photographer based in Asheville, North Carolina and Tim is a photographer/filmmaker based in Oakland, California.