kiwi's daybook

I'm making a banner for my vgen account (yes i finally have it <3, Im just setting up. My commissions will be open soon)

Also I got all my hair cut off, tho I wish it looked as cool as this. My hair is thicker and harder to tame at this length. A tiny part of me screams loud with regret. But it's fine, at least I got the bleach off(even tho the dual toned color was the thing that made me look cool!)

Apologies for the lack of content. I've been drawing, just not posting them. I have this terrible habit of gatekeeping progress if I don't think they're good enough. I actually had a comic about the familial relationship between my friend and I's OCs but I lost interest in finishing it. Same goes for another HL comic before I moved on to my current fixation: Minecraft ARGS

Though I have posted an animation meme about two original characters of mine. I'm not sure how cool tumblr is with video formats which is why I decided not to post it here.

My interests can shift a lot, so please be mindful when following my page! If you follow me for HL art only, sorry not sorry but you're probably not gonna be seeing that for a while here.

I do whatever I want, which means I can draw whatever I want. If you are here for one thing only, feel free to unfollow.

With that said, thank you for those who decided to stay for my art and character.

Six months have passed since I graduated, and Its starting to feel as though I'm going nowhere with my life. Which I know is not true, I just feel like it is and it's a feeling that's becoming stronger as the days go by.

One night, I discovered a job post that resonated with me deeply. The next day I handed in my resume and portfolio alongside a 2 minute introduction video that I took many tries to get right because I kept messing up my lines even when I was already reading from a script I wrote. The video could have been better but I was tired, and if the loom video was only meant to prove that I was a real person and that I was who I say I am, then here, it's yours. Just don't mind that I look constipated. It's not on purpose.

I wanted that job so bad, I still do. It's only been a week I think since I applied, but I do hope they get back to me soon and that they don't leave me on radio silence. Fingers cross they want me, theywantmesobad!!!

I'll have no choice but to forget about it if they don't reply in two weeks time. At least I can say I tried right? I feel like getting left stranded is way worse than receiving a 'yeah no, we don't want you. Better luck next time' email.

For now I've taken a side job as my mom's secretary for her agency . Doing spreadsheets and more. It's boring tasks that keeps me from spiraling and having a mental breakdown. Mom knows how important structure is for me, so she offered me this job to help fill in the times I have nothing to do.

At this point, getting a job would solve my current problems. Like...not a having a job. But also not feeling like I'm wasting my life away as I continue to make art and experimenting with different ways to express myself.

In all honestly, I want to start an art business, selling prints, stickers, etc. My mom is on board with the idea, she believes I can do it and frankly this wait for a job might just push me into it.

I just don't know if I'm ready...actually, when will I truly be ready? if not now.

There's a lot to consider honestly. I'd have to stop working for my mom as her secretary if I want to focus on this art business. But I just started, and I want to help lighten her work. So, if I can, I'll work on preparing a business plan for it.

Current hyperfixation is minecraft horror mods (and args but im too lazy to really get into the lore of one)