Lost in Localization

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[Machi] This year’s summer heat seems harsh. 

[Shizuku] Yeah. It’s September but it’s over 30 degrees.

[Machi] You know, it’s already hot enough, and yet what is that…

[Pakunoda] It’d be fine if it’s only hot for himself. What’s worse is the sight of that thing makes others suffocate too.

[Shizuku] So please take that off.

[Phinks] Hm? Huh! You’re talking about me?  To be honest, I’m not sweating and besides it’s not that hot either.

[Machi] Phinks, you’re drenched in sweat. What are you talking about?

[Shizuku] Suffocating.

[Pakunoda] Yeah.

[Phinks] What’s the deal! Boss also wears his coat when the weather is hot!

[Pakunoda] Boss is acceptable because he looks good in it.

[Shizuku] He wears nothing under his coat so that makes it less hot.

[Phinks] You guys do realize that’s more ridicilous, right?!

[Machi] What is that you’re wearing in the first place?

[Hisoka] I've thought about it before, but you have absolutely no sense of fashion.

[Pakunoda] You startled me.

[Machi] Hisoka? Since when were you here?

[Hisoka] When I hear about fashion I can’t possibly not say anything. After all, the troupe’s fashion leader is moi.

[Shizuku] Fashion leader? Who are you talking about?

[Hisoka] Myself of course. Oh my. Acting dumb isn’t funny, Shizuku. 

[Shizuku]I That wasn’t on purpose, though…

[Machi] Leave that for another day. What we need to fix right now is that hat Phinks is wearing.

!!!

[Phinks] Hey, this is…my policy.

[Machi] Huh? “Policy”? Listen here. You’re greatly mistaken if you think we will let you do whatever you want by calling it your policy.

[Shizuku] Throw that policy away.

[Phinks] Don’t be so cold! Asking me to take this off is like asking Shizuku to change her glasses to contact lenses.

[Pakunoda] Don’t change the issue.

[Shizuku] I’ll be fine because the group has an agreement for a girl with glasses.

[Phinks] What is that agreement..? Unacceptable!

[Machi] You’re so noisy for a guy! Shizuku’s glasses are not unpleasant for anyone. Same thing goes for Boss and his coat. They look good so they get a pass.

[Phinks] …Is my policy an eyesore?

[Hisoka] Simply put, yes it is.

!!!

[Phinks] Hearing that from the girls is one thing, but from Hisoka…?

[Hisoka] What are you implying?

[Phinks] So what kind of outfit should I wear then?!

[Everyone] Hmmm.

[Phinks] You guys…

[Hisoka] That’s right!

[Machi] What is it, Hisoka?

[Hisoka] Let’s each dress up Phinks in our own preferred style!

[Phinks] Hey! I-

[Pakunoda] That sounds fun.

[Shizuku] Okay!

[Machi] You’re unusually helpful.

[Hisoka] It’s settled then. Preparation begins!

…

[Hisoka] In the name of the goddess of beauty! Here we have, Machi, Shizuku, Pakunoda, and I, Hisoka, will compete with our fashion sense in this Fashion Battle Stage. The model is Phinks, who has absolutely no sense of fashion. We will dress him up and will find out who is favored by the goddess of beauty. Without further ado, fashion battle! Ready, go!

[Phinks] Oh, a suit with a scarf? Haha. Not bad.

[Pakunoda] A suit brings out a man’s face. It’s timeless and shows the responsibility of a working man. That’s why I chose it.

[Hisoka] But since he has a scary face I can only see him as someone from a shady line of work.

[Machi] I can see that. That cashmere scarf is also unrefined on him.

[Shizuku] He looks like he gets reported to the police without even doing anything.

[Phinks] Are you for real?!

[Machi] Next is my turn.

...

[Phinks] Hey… M-machi! What’s with this block of steel?!

[Machi] The idea was that you might as well cover your whole body with that kind of hat..

[Pakunoda] A full armor, huh?

[Hisoka] That might be good for decoration, but it strays too far away from fashion. The appearance also feels like a mass-produced miniature.

[Phinks] The joint, the joint is…

[Shizuku] The suffocating feeling is still the same.

[Machi] To be honest, that was what concerned me along the way.

[Phinks] Then stop with all this! Take this off! Hey! Machi! Machi! What is going on? The back zipper is-

[Machi] With my nen thread I’ve made that outfit stick to your body perfectly. It won’t come off that easily.

[Phinks] Are you an idiot?!

[Shizuku] Now it’s my turn.

…

[Hisoka] O-Oh~?

[Phinks] ..I…is this really it?

[Shizuku] Yes! The problem was that it was hot so I’ve decided to use a simple design.

[Hisoka] It sure is refreshing wearing that…

[Machi] Gross.

[Pakunoda] Only wearing a piece of leaf is a bit…

!!!

[Phinks] How could you call someone’s body gross just like that?! This was Shizuku’s idea, not mine!

[Shizuku] Now that I think about it. This look can’t appear in a shounen manga.

[Phinks] S-sure it can! It’s not that strange.

[Shizuku] But.. no matter how you look at it, you look like a pervert.

[Phinks] You’re the one that dressed me up!

[Shizuku] Ah. it flew away.

[Machi] Ah! Shizuku, do something about it!

*Kapow*

[Phinks] Gyah!

[Machi] Alright.

[Pakunoda] A single blow to Phinks...with Blinky…

[Hisoka] That was on point.

[Shizuku] Yep!

[Phinks] I- what happened?

[Hisoka] Now, there were some unforeseen events, but this last one is my turn. I’ll show you what fashion is all about. In the end, I think we had it all wrong by trying to fix how Phinks is..

[Pakunoda] Hisoka, that means all of this is pointless.

[Shizuku] Yeah.

[Machi] What are you going to do then?

[Shizuku] Seeing is believing. Now, let’s have a look. Shalalalalala Hoi~!

[Shizuku] Huh? Hisoka..?

[Pakunoda] There are two Hisokas. What is happening?

[Phinks] What is it? Tell me what’s going on..What’s with the puzzled look?

[Shizuku] The other Hisoka has Phinks’s voice!

[Machi] Hm…

[Hisoka] No matter how much I am a fashion leader blessed by the goddess of beauty herself, Phinks himself is beyond saving. In that case, I transformed his face, figure, and fashion sense into mine. With that, all the problems are solved.

[Machi] I see. You used dokkiri texture to change Phinks into you.

[Hisoka] Perfection, isn’t it?

[Machi] Perfect..?

[Pakunoda] When there are two hisoka…

[Shizuku] It’s creepy.

[Hisoka] Ouch! Even though this is such a beautiful event, to be called creepy is…

[Shizuku] Oh! Phinks is back to normal.

[Phinks] You guys! 

*Phinks complaining in the background*

[Machi] If this is how it’s going to be, let’s just get him back inside that full armor of mine.

[Pakunoda] I think I’m most proud of my suit.

[Shizuku] Why don’t we just body paint him?

[Hisoka] What if we try to surgically modify his physical appearance?

[Phinks] Listen when someone’s talking!

[Pakunoda] You’re so noisy. Oh, right. Which one did you like the best?

[Shizuku] I see! Let’s have the model choose.

[Machi] That seems fine.

[Hisoka] I’m tired of all these already.

[Phinks] You’re tired but you keep asking about it. But, yeah, I’ll just wear this thing to move easier.

[Pakunoda] That is…the jersey you sometimes wear.

[Machi] I'd say it fits him.

[Shizuku] That’s great, isn’t it?.

[Hisoka] In the end you picked that one. What a poor fashion sense.

════════ End of track ════════

TL Notes & Commentary:

Hisoka actually says そっちの筋の人 literally means “brawny man of that side” is a roundabout way to refer to the Yakuza and their illegal business. Basically, they’re saying Phinks has the face of a criminal.

Machi dressed Phinks like some kind of gundam.

I genuinely have no idea what happened with Phinks's leaf "outift" I think Blinky was used to grab and put back the leaf (with a hard smack).