♡ ruru ♡

time to make an intro post hehe ~

♡ THIS BLOG CONTAINS SENSITIVE TOPICS SUCH AS SH, SU*CIDAL IDEATION, YAPS ABOUT EDS AND PSYCHOSIS ♡ take care ♡

i have become weak

im afraid to make it as deep now i dont know what i fear i just cant...

i dont care if it leaves a scar im more dissapointed when it just fades away idk

im so so tired... i love being taken care of and i love my bf but being at his place always breaks my own habits and sense of control i have over um certain things...

ive been eating kinda normally and it feels horrible i need to starve....

♡ love me, love me, keep me close ♡

today chronic pain is almost impossible to deal with i cant walk or not even stand.. boyfriend is taking care of me which makes me feel so guilty..

im so scared about future because what if i lose my ability to walk... im absolutely terrified

pain killers dont do anything i already double the dose i should be taking and its not doing anything, just making me sleepy....

gooood morning ♡ i didnt sleep at all :p i was busy playing and watching love live ♡ the brain rot has returned ♡

if i change my theme again dont be surprised :p

how are u guys doing lately ? anything going on ? ♡

im so happy ♡♡♡♡♡

GUYS GUYS GUYS !!!!

DO U REMEMBER LOVE LIVE ?!

the rhythm game ! love live school idol festival ! it had like a sequel at some point that shut down after a um very short time...

BUT I HAVE FIGURED HOW TO PLAY THE ORIGINAL AGAIN ♡♡♡♡

i joined a private server and omg this is so important and big thing to me because love live shaped and defined my whole youth ;_;

im actually shedding tears here ♡♡♡

bestest of the best girls ♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡

i am happy this cured my depression im healed sad is no more ♡♡♡♡

im sometimes actually really upset that i failed. i wouldnt have to deal with all of this shit i have going on everyday... theres only a few things that actually makes me even a little bit happy..

i need to have my meds changed i cant go on like this im sad and so terrified about what will go wrong tomorrow... because something always goes wrong no matter what i do

im annoyed that its summer because its so hot but i have to wear clothes that cover my arms and legs because SOMEONE doesnt know how to cope healthily !

yay thank u thank uuu ~ ♡♡

i changed it yesterday haha its so much better now ♡♡

little doodles i managed to do today i hate them but oh well ;;

why do i keep being so paranoid im sure people are out to get me i cant go outside because what if i get taken to bad place again im so scared the outside world is terrifying i wish i could stay at home all the time...

fuck i need to know how much my weight is but my scale is at homeeee plsssss i have to see how much ive gained im so terrified ive gained a lot because ive been eating disgusting amount of food ;_;

i ate so much yesterday... like actually TOO much.. i couldnt stop the binging but im not at home so i couldnt throw up so i feel absolutely disgusting. i love to be at bfs house but i cant starve or control my eating...

also cant harm myself which is horrible i got addicted again ;_;

hiii ♡

shes moria ruruka/cure arcana shadow from magical girl series called star detective precure ☆

the show is about magical girls who are also detectives and solve cases and fight the evil ♡ a kids show but actually kinda deep

ruruka is a bit quiet and at times a little air headed and clueless. deep down shes actually very intelligent and knows whats up :3

shes also kinda anti hero, despite being a magical girl like the two main characters shes in the side of the bad guys ♡

im rambling this character and show is so important to me ♡

thank u for the ask hehe ♡♡♡

thank u so much ♡♡ yes i love her colors and overall theme ! shes so cool

pls watch precure it has so many different seasons ! if u want ofc ♡ this character is from the newest one star detective precure ! i really recommend it ♡♡♡

thank u for the ask ♡♡