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It kills him, listening to their screams, their cries, but the sound of their determination kills him the most. It rips into his chest and carves into his heart, destroying him in the most real sense possible. He doesn’t want this, he doesn’t want people to fight for him, he doesn’t want to be saved. 

He wants them to live. 

Live in spite of him. 

Ace forces himself to lower his head, pushing his forehead flush into the boards of the stand as he hears his baby brother's cries. Luffy shouldn’t be here, he doesn’t want him to be here, but he’s locked, unmoving as he’s forced to accept the fact that his brother is putting his life on the line for him. Ace doesn’t know what to do except push his head impossibly deeper into the boards, pain radiating throughout his head as he grits his teeth and cries. The pain of the wood digging into his head fills itself into every other part of his body, but he doesn’t seem to care, or he lacks the ability to anymore. 

The old man left to keep his brother at bay a while ago, but it felt like hours, alone up on the podium. In that time, Ace has found himself thinking of the things he wishes he did. He wishes he spoke to Dadan more, wishes he told Luffy he loves him more, wishes he got to experience more of you. Before all this, Ace thought it was strange to think about his brother's crewmate so much, but he doesn’t seem to care anymore. He wishes to feel the warmth of your hands in his again, like back in Alabasta. You held his hand for mere seconds, but it felt magical, following you like a lost puppy as he was dragged around the ship. He wished to know more about you, what are your dreams, your aspirations, your desires. Maybe he’s just cocky, but he’d find a way to give them all to you and more, as long as it was never leaving him.

When he first heard of your predicament, being stuck here from another world, he didn’t believe you, but your curiosity and naivety to everything around you spoke volumes to your situation. You confided in him about it one night, talking about how you missed your family. At that moment, Ace felt like he understood you the most, quiet and revealing. He was flushed right next to you, not that you seemed to care much, the only lighting being that of the moon and the stars, lighting your eyes in a way that he could only call ethereal. You talked, and talked, and talked, and for once, Ace was quiet, listening to every word like a gospel. You seemed to care about the people in your life very much, wondering how they were doing and if they even missed you. 

At those words, Ace took your hands, moving close to your face, staring into your eyes. His gaze was intense, causing you to move back slightly from him, still connected by your hands in his. 

“Don’t say that, of course they do!” He huffed “They’re your family.” It was the alcohol in him, but Ace felt unreasonably confident in everything he was saying. You mean a lot to his brother and his crew, you’re starting to mean a lot to him, you mean a lot to many people. So he never wants to hear that again. 

“I-I just mean, you mean–a lot of people care about you, you shouldn’t talk like that.” He explains, slightly embarrassed, glad that it was too dark to see the blush on his cheeks. 

“Do you care about me, Ace?” He didn’t know if that was a genuine question, or flirting, but regardless, he said yes in an instant. You meant more to him then you could possibly know. 

“A lot of people care about you too Ace.” You say, staring into the starry sky. “So we should both live for them, right?” 

Ace didn’t answer, he couldn’t bring himself to, but he desperately wanted you to live. Even in these moments, he was comforted by the thought of you exploring the world, living with his brother, creating a better world for other. Ace wanted you to be happy, he needed you to be. 

He needed you to live in spite of him. 

Ace doesn’t believe in god. If god existed, it would let him live alongside you. Your paths wouldn’t be so diverged, you could exist together. Both of you could live for the people you cared about, you could live for eachother. 

Ace doesn’t believe in God. 

But he does believe in you. 

“Ace! Don’t worry, I'm here to save you!” 

Ace shoots his head up, why are you here? His eyes, filled with tears, take in the sight of you. You’re in a Marine uniform, hair tucked up into the hat, dirt covering your face and body, why are you here? He feels your hands, cold and shaking from the ice covering the battlefield, why are you here? His hands are unchained, freeing him from his binds, causing him to fall forward as he sobs, why are you here? 

As he looks up at you once again as you look at his body quickly before taking his hands, he sees blood near your stomach, too much not to be from someone else. He slumps over, frowns digging into his cheeks as you sobs at the sight of you. 

“Why are you here!” 

You visibly recoil at the sound of his horse scream, looking to make sure no one heard before shushing him with a finger. 

“Shhh–they’re going to realize what’s going on soon if you’re too loud–”

“Why are you here!” He yells again, almost like a child throwing a tantrum. 

You look confused, wondering what he means, before sighing, taking his face into his hands. “I care for you Ace–you promised me that you’d live!” You yell much quieter than him, feeling his tears on your fingers as he coughs up sobs. He itches to wrap his hands around you, hug you, feel your warmth, but instead you take his hands, ripping him from his position and leaping with him off the platform. 

For a moment, while in the air, Ace comes to terms with the fact that if god did exist, it’s within that heart of yours. It’s you he wishes to worship, it’s you he wishes to live for, it’s you who he believes in. 

Ace realizes while in the thick of battle with his remnant of strength that he can’t sense you with his Haki. You’re right in front of him, but to his Haki, you’re nonexistent. That must be how you’ve snuck around for so long amongst the fighting and war. He wonders though how you managed to get hurt. Did you slip and fall on the ice, coming face to face with a pirate? Was it one of his brothers, did they recognize you from his stories, or did they pierce you through the stomach indiscriminately like any pirate would to a Marine? Did they revel in your screams, or did they realize their mistake and regret it later? Did they twist their sword as you cried out for help, or did you remain silent in hopes of maintaining your cover? 

Did you hide your pain in hopes of a better chance to save him? Did you think of him as you cupped the wound on your stomach? Did you curse him for putting you in this situation? 

He knew you wouldn’t, but he wished you would. 

Ace didn’t know how you both found yourselves here, slumped over behind a wall, away from the fighting. It was a miracle only you could provide that no one noticed the two of you, but that wasn’t his concern. 

To his side, there was you, cupping your stomach in pain. The blood had spread taking over most of the white Marine issued shirt. Your hands, once warm and comforting, were covered in blood, shaking due to what had to be the cold and fear. Your breathing was shallow, quiet, and your eyes were distant–

“H–hey, stay with me, please–” Ace moves closer to you, taking your face in his hands. He looks at you intensely, patting you on the cheek in an attempt to focus or eyes. It didn’t work though, your head lulling almost like liquid as he moved you easily. You were losing too much blood, some was leaking from your nose and mouth. “Please–I don’t–please stay–” Ace stuttered, cries leaving him. 

In what seemed like cosmic irony, you shushed him, almost like he wasn’t breaking down in front of you. “They’ll hear you…go…to the ship” You said in broken words, interrupted by spirits of blood. Ace shook his head, waves of “no” leaving his mouth. 

“No, no, no, no.” Ace shook his head, he refused to let you die, and he refused to leave you alone. He moved closer to you, sitting right in front of you, straddling your waist. In another world, Ace would burn up, laughing off the intimate scene as he attempted to woo you. In this world, where the world is cold and the only sounds he can focus on are the screams of pirates and Marines and the huffs of your breaths, Ace feels something inside him burn, deep within him. Something within him screamed as he moved up your shirt slightly, just enough to see the dark red wound. His body nearly recoiled at the sight, thick and deep, bruises littering the skin around it. It made him sick with rage, igniting inside him at the thought of you dying, only to be quelled by the sight of your tears, you knew what he was going to do. 

In a second, his hand heats up, placing the entirety of his palm on the wound as the flames travel along your skin. You cry, scream for him to stop, squirm and take hold of his arm as he mumbles out apologies. He moves closer to, his forehead resting against yours, sweat, blood, and dirt mixing. “I’m sorry, it’s almost over–i’m sorry, please–” Ace keeps talking, he can’t listen to your pain, but he can’t let you die. 

He can’t let you die. So he’d sit here, burn your wound, and let you hate him for these few moments, even if it kills him. He screws his eyes shut, pushing his hand deeper, biting his tongue, drowning out his own sobs.

A few more seconds later, and it’s over, the flames die down, and you're left sniffling. Ace doesn’t move, slowly opening his eyes to look at you. He doesn’t want to look at your wound, so he feels it with the palm of his hand, hoping that it’s mostly burnt over. He’ll take you Marco, get you fixed, you’ll be better, you live. 

You’ll live for him. 

Ace eventually moves to sit flushed right next to you. Your cries and panting have died down, and you’ve moved your hand from his arm down to his hand, holding it tight. He can feel the crescent moon shaped scars on his forearm stinging, but he can’t bring himself to care. 

“Why did you come?” Ace whispers, not expecting you to answer. 

“You mean a lot to Luffy.” You whisper, blood drying around your mouth, “you mean a lot to me–i couldn’t just let you die.” 

“So you thought killing yourself was better.” He didn’t mean for it to sound mean, in fact it was the opposite. Though that didn’t mean he understood your thought process. 

“Would you do the same for me?” 

“Yes” He said in an instant, looking over at you, only to find yourself smiling at him. Tears were in your eyes, blood was staining your teeth, but you still smiled. 

“So we should both live, right?” 

Ace, frowned as tears flooded his eyes, but before he could do anything, you passed out into his arms. 

He felt you slump into him as his breath quicked, gripping you tightly. He didn’t know what to do, he didn’t want this. From a distance, he could hear the yells of pirates, of Marines, of his brother. They’ve probably noticed his absence, but he didn’t seem to care, too focused on your unmoving body. All he could do is sob into you as he looked around, begging for something. Where’s Marco, he needed him, he didn’t know what he was doing, but he didn’t want this. 

Ace sat there, unmoving, scared, wanting to rip out his heart and give it to you if it meant you’d live. But he’s stuck, and it terrifies him. 

You’re going to die, and it’s his fault. 

Ace feels someone looking at him from above, holding you closer to him, he looks up at the person through tear filled eyes. The man, dark and ominous, Trafalgar Law. Ace knew of him, but he didn’t know what he wanted. His gaze looked almost ambivalent, focused on you as he spoke. 

“I’m a doctor, give them to me.” Is all he says, and Ace doesn’t know to trust him, but as he looks at you, feels your shallow breaths, and thinks about the severity of your wounds, he doesn’t have a choice. 

Ace maneuvers you to face the man, brows furrowing as he addresses the man with a snarl “save them–please.” 

—

Ace is awoken to the sound of crying. 

His eyes open up slowly, the first thing he does is look for you, making him realize that he doesn’t know where he is. It’s quiet, and cold, but the medical bed he is in feels like the most comfortable thing in the world. The sound of crying only becomes more recognizable as Ace wakes up more, rubbing his eyes as he yawns. The cries were loud, filled with emotion, and raw. 

They were Luffy’s. 

Ace wakes up immediately at the realization, looking around, only to see both him and you on the other side of the room. 

“You idiot! Get off them.” He watches as Law tries to push Luffy off of you, but to no avail. Luffy’s legs are wrapped around your torso, his arms around your neck, and his head in your shoulder. Despite that, he can hear his brother clearly. 

“I-I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have left you, thank you so much–” His brother sniffs, much to the disgust of Law. “Please don’t die, please don’t die, please don’t–” 

“You idiot!” Law hits Luffy on the head, still trying to push him away from you. “They’re going to die if you don’t get away from them.” Luffy still doesn’t move, in fact he gets closer to you, making Ace laugh. 

Ace doesn’t mind that none of you have realized that he’s awake yet, he’s just happy to see you and his brother, happy and alive. When Ace was forced onto the podium, he never thought he’d live another day, but because of you, he’s here. He’ll see his brothers another day, he’ll see Luffy another day, he’ll see you another day. 

“Ace! You’re awake!” At the words, Luffy gasps, moving his attention onto Ace. Finally, you’re free, though Ace can’t focus on you as he feels Luffy hold him so close. For once, everything felt good, felt perfect even. He pat Luffy on the head, feeling him laugh against his chest, and he looks over at you. 

He watches as Law moves your shirt up slowly, his movements methodical and soft. Your torso is bandaged, blood still seeping through. Law moves his tattooed fingers across the bandages, assuring that you’re okay after Luffy jumped onto you. You say something quietly that Law smiles at, and Ace feels his chest tightened at the sight.

Ace watches as Law moves your shirt back down, smoothing it slowly as his hand stays near your waist. It doesn’t need to stay there, he can move it back to his own dumb body, but his fingers hold onto you, and Ace wishes to rip them off of his body. But you seem comfortable, blissfully unaware of the man so close to you, his hand on your waist, his eyes locked onto yours. 

And for some reason, that hurts the most. 

But for now, Ace doesn’t find himself caring, because you're here, he’s here, and that’s all that matters. 

Ace takes a breath. 

He’ll live

He’ll live for you

And you will be his, he’d rather die than have it any other way.

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