The Dress |Suna x Reader
 Rintarou Suna x fem!reader
inspired by The Dress by Dijon
Synopsis: Suna sees you for the first time in two years, and suddenly everything comes flooding back to him. The two of you decide to catch up, and it leads into a night neither of you expected.Â
Content: fluff, a little angst, light smut (the teeniest bit), past relationship, Suna being desperate
wc:Â 8.6k
It was so familiar. The dim lighting, the ambiance, the excess noise, Motoya and Washio behind him. Suna had stepped foot into this bar more times than he was able to keep track of.Â
It had turned into a place of comfort. The bartenders knew his regular drink and food orders. He could point out the same few faces that were in there every weekend, even the times when Suna didnât go. Though, he couldnât tell you any of their names. He never introduced himself. But he could tell you when they got a haircut or looked a little happier than usual or had a new drink in their hand.Â
Suna knew this place. He had been coming here with Motoya and Washio since he joined EJP. This bar had a comforting sense of familiarity. But not tonight. From the second the bottom of his shoe touched the grey tile of the bar, he could tell that something was different tonight. He couldnât smell it, couldnât hear it, couldnât see it yet, but he could feel it.Â
But Suna knew that if he dwelled on it, it would ruin his night. So, he decided to trudge on, chalking it up to the new shirt he was wearing or something obsolete. But Motoya, ever sensible, ever observant Motoya, patted Sunaâs shoulder like he knew that was exactly what he needed in that moment.Â
It didnât get rid of his worry. It only did a little to calm his nerves. But at least he was reminded that if something strange or out of the ordinary did happen tonight, at least he had his two friends there to help him through it.Â
They sat down at their usual place at the bar. Ordered their usual drinks, their usual food. They ate and talked their shit, like usual. But Suna could not shake this sinking, undying feeling that something was actually unusual tonight. Maybe the ceiling would cave in and they would all be crushed. Maybe the tap would explode and everyone would get free beer tonight. Maybe theyâd find out that a teammate got traded to another team. Anything, really, good or bad. Suna couldnât shake the feeling.Â
Motoya got up to go the bathroom, leaving the empty seat between Suna and Washio.Â
âYou okay, man?â he asked Suna, deep voice carrying through the sound of the music. âYouâre being awfully quiet tonight.âÂ
Suna took a sip of his drink, not turning his head to Washio before he set it down. âI donât know. I feel weird.âÂ
âWeird? Weird how?âÂ
He examined the label on his beer bottle, running his thumb over the name on the label. âI canât really explain it. Something just feels... off.âÂ
Motoya sat down between them again, breaking up the conversation. He was noticeably more tense than before he left for the bathroom. God, did he see or ghost or something? Suna thinks. He looks worried, and itâs not doing anything to nurse away Sunaâs strange feeling.Â
Suna turned on his stool so his body faced his friends. The whole sulking-elbow-lean on the bar was getting too old. But once he turned, bottle halfway to his lips, he saw the reason he had been feeling off all night.Â
His eyes shot wide open. He saw that familiar smile. That gorgeous, show-stopping, heart-throbbing smile. He saw that sparkle in your eye. He saw that familiar flow of your hair, even though it was longer now. And, he thinks, he sees the top of that dress.
âWhatâs wrong with him?â Washio leans to Motoya.Â
Motoya knows, because ever sensible, ever observant Motoya, saw it before Suna even did. â(Y/n)âs here.â He looks down at his lap.Â
âOh.â Thatâs all he says, because Suna isnât paying attention to them. Suna is caught in a trance, an exhausting back and forth of options that could make or break how his night is going to go.Â
You had finished your chat with the bartender, and as soon as he walks away, your eyes start to wander. From the top shelf of the liquor across the bar to the messy floor mats behind the counter. Your smile had already fallen into an attempt at looking nonchalant, but you were never too good at that.Â
And then your eyes find him, and Suna is terrified. You look surprised at first, understandably so. To say Suna was surprised would be an understatement. Youâre conflicted, you donât know what expression to give him next. What face are you even supposed to make at an ex-boyfriend?Â
But instinctually, like your heart knows what to do better than your head, you smile at him. Itâs not a toothy smile, itâs not a wide smile, but a smile nonetheless. Itâs almost comforting, actually. It doesnât feel like youâre forcing it.Â
Sunaâs heart has skipped an uncountable amount of beats. He can feel the reverb of his heartbeat at the top of his head. His bottle has retreated from his lips and is instead barely dangling in his fingers by his knee. But once he gets over his disbelief, his shock, he smiles at you.Â
Itâs soft, the kind that reaches the eyes far before it reaches the lips. Suna feels, at least he thinks thatâs what it is, honest to god contentment.Â
âI think heâs falling in love all over again,â Washio says quietly to Motoya. Suna doesnât hear it, he doesnât think he can hear anything at the moment. Heâs too busy looking at you for the first time in years.Â
But his contentment is soon broken when the bartender slides you your drink, and you look away from him. You grab the glass, and look at Suna for a split second before you walk away, back to wherever you came from. He stays staring at the empty space where you were standing. The other side of the bar is more visible, he can see the tap dispenser and the couple sitting near the door.Â
Again, âsurprisedâ would be an understatement.Â
âAre you gonna go talk to her?â Motoya asks Suna, his voice pulling him out of trance of muffled sounds and deafening heartbeats.Â
Suna looks to his friend, chugging the half-bottle of beer that he had left and slamming the empty glass on the bar. âShould I?âÂ
He didnât notice Washioâs head was turned until he snaps it back to look at the other two. âI wouldnât. It looks like sheâs with her friends.âÂ
Itâs Sunaâs turn to look over his shoulder, eyes scanning the room until they fall on you again. Damn it, he thinks. You are. Youâre with your friends and youâre laughing and youâre clearly having the time of your life. And, god, youâre still so beautiful.Â
âYou should let her come to you,â Washio adds.Â
âBut thereâs no guarantee she would do that,â Motoya adds, articulating the internal battle that Suna is definitely losing right now. âHow long has it been now?âÂ
âSince what?â Suna looks at him. He looks nervous, terrified. Motoya wonders if Suna had ever made that face before in his life.Â
âSince you two broke up?âÂ
Suna hesitates. He knows the answer, but heâs ashamed for some reason. âA little over two years now.â He drops his head, just hanging between his shoulders, returning the tracing of the label on his beer.Â
Washio asks the question that most people hate hearing, that most people hope they forget the answer to after a certain amount of time. âWhy did you guys break up again?âÂ
He sighs. The answer had been rehearsed to perfection years ago, but it had been so long since heâs had to say it. âI moved here for the team. She had a life back home in Hyogo and couldnât leave. We tried long distance but it just...didnât work.âÂ
It was one of those breakups where youâre both crying, sobbing to each other to hold on. But you know itâs just too hard. Too hard to be away. Especially too hard to be away from each other when you were both starting new steps in your life. That young naĂŻvetĂŠ that tells you that you can make it work even when youâre hours away, that you can fight against the odds and do what other people couldnât, that your love is strong enough to keep you together. Â
Then you figure out, perhaps after clinging on a little too long, that love is not enough to patch the distance. Itâs not enough when neither of you have no idea when the distance is going to end. Itâs not enough when you had both decided to go separate paths with your lives, sacrificing nothing for the other. Itâs really not enough.Â
If you two had been in each otherâs presence when the breakup happened, you probably wouldâve hugged for hours. You probably wouldâve hugged until you fell asleep in each others arms, and woke up knowing that was the last time. But life isnât kind enough for that sometimes.Â
As broken as Suna saw you, he was sure he was ten times more broken. Maybe even a hundred times. He swore he never felt pain like that in his life, and heâs had a lot of injuries. But two years is a long time. Itâs long enough that thereâs no more sadness, no more regret, no more resentment. Two years is enough time to gain perspective on everything, almost as long as the relationship itself, and learn that maybe it was for the best. Heâll always have a place in his heart for you, but he had accepted that it was really the end.Â
So why are you here in Nagano?
âUh-oh,â Motoya says quietly, but Suna is unflinching. Heâs stuck in his head. âLooks like you and I are gonna be on our own for a bit.â
âThatâs fine,â Washio takes a swig. âLet lover-boy have his reunion.âÂ
That catches Sunaâs attention. âHuh?â he looks over his shoulder in time to see you walking over. His heart rate doubles and he thinks he might die. Like actually fall over and die.Â
Youâre hoping you look calm and collected on the outside because on the inside your stomach is doing gymnastics far beyond the capabilities of the human body. Youâre trying to decide what to say. Do you crack a joke? Touch his shoulder? Just say âhiâ? Oh god, youâre only a few strides away from him. Oh god, oh god, oh god.Â
âHey,â you slink to his left side, the empty side of him, placing your hand gently on the edge of the bar.
He turns his head ever so slightly toward you. âHey.â You can see the smile thatâs barely there, the smile that heâs restraining.Â
âYou look like youâre sulking. Not happy to see me or something?â Youâre hoping the humor gets across.Â
And it does. He chuckles, flashes the smile at his knees one last time before he turns in his seat to face his body towards you. âNot at all. Itâs actually quite a pleasant surprise.âÂ
He meets your eyes, and thereâs that smile again. That smile he didnât realize he missed so much. Youâre grateful for the height of the barstool, because now his face is level with you and heâs not standing above you. You donât think you could handle that intimidation right now.Â
He finally gets a look at your dress, and itâs exactly the one he thought it was. Suna knows that dress. He loves that dress. His name is written all over that dress. It was his favorite of all the ones you owned. It was the dress you were wearing the first time he told you he loved you. He was surprised you kept it. And if it was even possible, you looked infinitely better in it now.Â
âHow are you?â he asks. He needs to gain some composure.Â
âIâm good, Iâm good. I finally finished college, so now Iâm a real life adult.âÂ
âSucks, doesnât it?â he jokes, hoping to stop the fiddling of his thumbs on the bottle.Â
âTotally. I was prepared for taxes and being broke and everything, but why did no one tell me that I would be tired all the time?âÂ
He laughs, a full laugh for the first time tonight. âI believe I did, actually.â
âYeah, like I was gonna listen to you. Youâre the same age as me. Still acting like you know what itâs like to be old a decrepit?â
Itâs almost embarrassing how he canât get rid of his smile now. âWith how much I put my body through, Iâm pretty sure I have an accurate understanding some days.âÂ
You laugh now. âMister big time athlete isnât indestructible?âÂ
âUnfortunately not.â Itâs easy. Why is it so easy, talking to you? He was a nervous wreck not even five minutes ago, and yet heâs completely forgotten about that.Â
Itâs your turn to ask. âHow are you?âÂ
âWell, you know, volleyball is still my life. These guys like to follow me around everywhere,â he points to the two behind him, and he thanks whatever god there is that theyâre too involved in their own conversation to notice that he mentioned them.
âAre they as bad as the twins, though?âÂ
âGive the Miyas some credit. No one is as insufferable as them.âÂ
You had met them a handful of times, but you remember the thousands of pictures and the stories. As much as Suna complained, he loved them more than anything in the world, and you know that will always be true.Â
He has to ask. âHow long are you in Nagano?â
You pause. âA while, actually.âÂ
âReally?â You can see the slight perk in his eyebrows. You nod. Suna is terrorizing himself inside. Ask her, ask her, ask her, ask her. âDo you wanna catch up, then?âÂ
If he wasnât as nonchalant as he was, heâd probably be scratching his neck or doing something to distract him from how embarrassing this might all be depending on your response.Â
You smile, again, like youâre trying to lodge the arrow further in his heart. âIâd love to.â
The fist that was closing around his lungs lets go, and he lets out a sigh of relief that heâs hoping you donât notice. âDo you need my phone number?â you ask him.Â
âIs it still the same?â
âYes.â
âThen no.â Thereâs weight to that response, weight that you werenât expecting. Heâs kept it? You ask yourself, but itâs a fair thing to wonder. Youâve kept his too, after all.
âWell, I have to get back to my friends now,â you gesture to them, but he doesnât turn around to see them waving at you in the corner to come back. âBut please,â you brush your hand against the top of his thigh as you stand up straight again. âDo reach out.âÂ
Your touch, however fleeting and barely-there it was, lingers on his leg. Your smile is genuinely heartfelt, if not a little sly, and Suna is so grateful. Grateful for every little decisions heâs ever made that has led up to this very moment. He watches you over his shoulder as you walk away, and wow, the dress still looks incredible on you. If he was drunk enough he mightâve told you he loved you again.Â
But he wasnât. He was wearing a smile on his face, like everything unfolded a little too well. He walked into tonight thinking something bad was going to happen, something life-changing. Well, he wasnât entirely wrong about that part. But now he canât stop smiling, he canât stop his heartbeat.Â
Suna turns to face the bar and lean on his elbows. Heâs so in his head that he almost doesnât notice the other two staring at him.Â
Motoyaâs the first to speak. âYou gonna tell us what just happened?âÂ
âYou mean you guys werenât listening?âÂ
The two lose their composure. Theyâve been caught. They might not have been listening at first, but they definitely were by the whole âwe should catch upâ part of the conversation.Â
âYouâre really gonna text her?â Washio asks.
Suna shoots him a look, one that tells him whatever you have to say, I donât care. âAre you crazy? I get to see the girl of my dreams for one more night.â
~~~~~
Itâs Friday afternoon, almost 4:00, and Suna is standing alone at the subway station. He can feel the fading humidity of the early September air, the soft breezes that reach underground at the station. Heâs carrying his denim jacket in one arm, because he knows heâll need it later, even if itâs too warm right now. Heâs incredibly conscious of the way heâs standing, because he wants to look relaxed, but heâs not feeling relaxed at all.Â
Suna doesnât think itâs ever taken him so long to get ready for... what even was this? A date? A hangout? He wasnât sure, and thatâs what made it so difficult. Sweatpants would be entirely too casual, but itâs definitely not an occasion for dress pants. Jeans felt too casual, but he had no other option. The shirt dilemma was even worse. T-shirt? Button-down? A tireless back and forth before he finally just decided on a t-shirt and his black denim jacket and he was sure that you were going to look better than him. You always did.Â
And that thought doubles down when he sees your name flash across the top of his screen.
y/n hey! iâm running a bit late, iâm sorry :( should be there in 10
Suna smiles down at his phone because you really havenât changed. You probably changed your outfit five different times before deciding on one that wasnât even your favorite, even though you look good in all of them. And youâre going to show up and youâre going to flash him that smile that makes him melt.Â
Suna all good, iâll be here
He doesnât even know what today really is. How many exes go out just to catch up? Not many, if any at all. How many exes left the relationship on good terms? Can this even be considered a date?Â
Those ten minutes go by way too fast. Sunaâs not sure if itâs because heâs thinking too much or if the noise at the station makes him get a little lost, but those ten minutes feel like ten seconds. But in those ten minutes-turned-ten seconds, he decided that it doesnât matter what today really is, because he gets to see you again.Â
Itâs like a sixth sense he thought he lost, sensing your presence. At the sound of new footsteps, amongst the hundreds he had heard waiting, he turns his head, and itâs you. You fluff out your hair and stuff your phone in your pocket before looking up, and Suna is so happy he caught that glimpse of you. That flustered, hurried snapshot of you that he thought heâd never see again. That feeling you always had when you were running late like you didnât know how long you took to get ready.
âHey,â you smile at him, and every worry leaves his head for good.Â
He lets the bliss wash over him, encapsulate him in the beauty of being present with you. âHey.â
He catches your pause, your glimpse in his eyes. He can tell that youâre also confused about the meaning of today. He never clarified, because he was hoping you would, hoping you would set the boundary of whatever you wanted this to be. But that never happened. You left it open ended, afraid to come on too strong.Â
In that second that Suna catches your hesitation, he knows he exactly what he has to do, but letâs you speak. âSo, where to first?â
âThe train,â he says bluntly, stepping forward to walk on and hoping youâll follow. You donât. You keep right in step with him like you were anticipating that awful joke.Â
âEver the comedian,â you breathe out with sarcasm.Â
He looks down at you. âOf course. Iâm the funniest person alive.âÂ
The two of you had stepped onto the train, but that didnât stop your quip. âReally? âCause last time I checked, I was the funniest person alive.âÂ
Suna laughs, because of course youâd say that. You wouldnât be you without another remark to match his without a second of hesitation. Itâs why you worked before, and itâs exactly why your conversations have gone smoothly after meeting again merely a weak ago. Itâs your mutual ability to completely understand the atmosphere of a situation and pretend to completely disregard it with humor, to make the other feel comfortable despite yourself.
âSeriously,â you start. âWhere are we going?â The train doors close behind you and it starts moving, the loud vibrations now adding a layer of noise to everything around you.Â
âWell, I wanted to show you a few places downtown, and then this little restaurant for dinner, and...â he breathes in, pressure building in his chest. â...then I didnât plan much after that.â He lets it out. Heâs not proud.. He wanted to do more for you, but heâs never been much of a planner and youâve never been one to follow them.Â
You chuckle, and flash him a smile that is now emptied of stress. âSounds great.â
âReally?âÂ
âYeah,â you reach up to pat his shoulder. âYou wouldnât be you if you had planned too much.â
He wants to grab your hand so bad, wants to lace his fingers in yours and hold it and never let go.Â
But he doesnât. He letâs your hand glide down the sleeve of his jacket and fall back to your side. God, why didnât he grab it?
The question is burning in his chest. âSo, how much longer are you gonna be here?â There it is again, his heartbeat pounding in his hears. Itâs suffocating, and if he wasnât listening hard enough, it probably wouldâve drowned out your response.
âI told you, a while.âÂ
âHow long is a while?â Suna is looking down at you and has been since you stepped foot on the train because he wants any hint of any response that youâre hiding.Â
You finally look up at him, taking a deep breath and realizing you might as well just tell him. âPermanently?â It comes out as a question. You donât mean it to, but it does.
âPermanently? What?â
You let out a nervous laugh, fluffing your hair because you need something to do with your hands right now. âYeah. I kinda found my dream job here.â
âThatâs incredible.â He means it for a multitude of reasons. Heâs genuinely, undeniably, incredibly happy for you. And heâs also a little selfish. Because now youâre closer, within a 20 minute train ride from him, and he hopes that you wonât continue to be a stranger. âHow long have you been here?â
âA few months, actually.â It sits with him, the fact that youâve been here and heâs just now seeing you. But, like you always do, you manage to say exactly what he wants to hear. âI wanted to reach out to you sooner, to catch up, but I was so overwhelmed moving here that I wanted to settle down first.âÂ
âYou wanted to reach out?â
As if on cue, the train comes to sudden halt, knocking you to one side. But Suna, always secretly caring and quietly observant, catches you with one arm while he holds himself on the rail with the other. He realizes, and is overly aware, of how close you are to him right now. Heâs touching you, the real, authentic you, and you are looking at him with the biggest eyes in the world.Â
Youâre still leaning backwards, chest becoming ever more pressed to his, and youâre stuck like that for a second as he looks in your eyes knowingly and completely dazed all at once. You find it in yourself to let out a huff, a small chuckle, that snaps you both out of it.Â
Suna blinks. âWhat were we talking about?â He remembers.Â
You blink. âI uh...I donât remember.â Yes you do.Â
He finally stands you up straight, and you feel cold and empty without his body pressed against yours. Two years without it had made you forget that kind of comfort. Yet, here you are again, addicted after just a taste of it. You donât want this day to end.
âThis is our first stop,â Suna says. He presses his hand on your lower back, guiding you forward. You almost jump at the touch, but instead you melt into it. You step off the train, letting him guide you in the right direction, but as soon as youâre a couple steps off, he removes his hand from you, and that emptiness is there again.Â
The two of you walk in step, quietly, avoiding touch by keeping hands in the pockets of your respective jackets. But you keep his pace until you land outside the station in downtown Nagano, and you think to yourself, of course this is his favorite place to go. You breathe, taking in the sight of the beautiful city that you have neglected to visit in your few months here.Â
Itâs beautiful, really. You get why he wanted to take you here. Most of your dates previously had consisted of city walks and stopping at pop-up shops and whatever cafĂŠ you would drag him to. This place is exactly that, and still feels entirely new.
But maybe thatâs just because it is.Â
âThis way,â he nods his head to the left, pulling your eyes off the sights of the beautiful city. He turns and you follow.Â
âYou know, I havenât actually been here yet,â you ease into the conversation.Â
âReally? I thought you wouldâve been itching to get to the city.âÂ
âDonât get me wrong, I have, but Iâve just been busy trying to get settled.â
âOf course.â He gives you a small smile.Â
You return it.
âWell, itâs a good thing you came here with me. I love this city.âÂ
âNow that doesnât surprise me at all,â you joke.Â
Suna pretends to be offended. âWhatâs that supposed to mean?â It doesnât work.
âCome on, Rintarou, you were practically itching to get out of Hyogo. Youâve always been a city boy.â
He pauses at the name, because he realizes thatâs the first time heâs heard you say it in over two years. He thinks that everything has left is brain in that moment. He forgets where heâs walking, where heâs supposed to turn. You have completely caused his brain to malfunction at the mere utter of his name.Â
God, heâs pathetic.
Once he pauses for a little too long, you realize that you let it slip. âSorry. Was that too informal?â You fluff your hair again, letting your hand fall to your side.
He blinks, coming back to reality, and he does the only thing he can think to do in that moment. The set up is perfect, so he goes for it. He grabs your hand, lacing his fingers in yours like they have always belonged there, like your hand is still molded to fit his. âIs this alright, (Y/n)?âÂ
Youâre taken aback. Itâs your turn for your brain to malfunction. His hand, your name, the familiarity of it all. You feel like itâs two years ago and the two of you have been frozen in time while the world has moved around you. Itâs like you and Suna are the versions of yourselves from two years ago, like nothing has changed at all.
But has anything really changed at all?
You give him the biggest smile in the world, and he feels like heâs doing the right thing for the first time since he texted you to meet him today. The hand holding makes you feel like youâre teenagers again, the innocence of it all. Isnât that whatâs beautiful about it though? The simplicity of hand-holding?
He keeps walking, the two of you now fully in step with an entirely new understanding of what tonight is and what it really could be.Â
~~
Youâre surprised when the first place he takes you is a cafĂŠ. It was never his style, but he knows itâs yours. He refrains from ordering anything and still insists on paying for your tea. When he drops his hand to get out his wallet, your hand feels emptier than it has ever felt, but as soon as the card accepts, he slips is fingers right back where they belong.Â
The worker hands you your tea and you leave the cafĂŠ, keeping note of the name for future reference because youâre sure youâll be coming back here. The first sip is surprising, the second is addicting, and all the others after are for pure indulgence. Itâs the most delicious thing youâve ever tasted, and youâve been to a lot of cafĂŠs.Â
âHowâd you know that place was so good?â you ask.Â
âOsamu raved about it the last time he came to visit, so I knew it had to be the best.âÂ
âAw, you want the best for me?â It comes out as sarcastic, which was the intention, but you know itâs actually not. Sure, he said it the night you guys broke up, but thatâs always what you say to end on good terms. That doesnât mean he actually meant it.Â
âAlways.âÂ
He wasnât laughing, wasnât trying to match your sarcasm. Suna knew, always knew, when you were using sarcasm to hide your real feelings. Apparently that talent hasnât faded with two years of not knowing you. He scares himself with how honest it is, how vulnerable, but he knows that around you, Suna has no other choice.
Youâre looking at him. Heâs looking at you. You choose to laugh off that last statement, because youâre sure that if you dwell on it, you will fall in love all over again.Â
But maybe thatâs okay, just for tonight.Â
âYou know, sometimes your bluntness is really charming.âÂ
Suna smirks. âYou think so?âÂ
~~
The next place he takes you is a little shop, filled with an accumulation of an overwhelming variety of things. Thereâs novelty ramen bowls and bargain bins of old movies and hand-made throw blankets and too many knick-knacks to take in all at once.Â
Itâs not until youâre following him into one of the many, many isles that you finally find the composure to ask. âYou like this place?â
âYeah. They have the best variety of these.â He pulls a box off the shelf, and you see itâs a box of chĹŤpets. You roll your eyes, because heâs still a teen at heart sometimes.Â
You laugh and shake your head, and he laughs too because he knows how ridiculous he looks. You take it upon yourself to look around the rest of the isles, seeing if anything catches your eye. You decide on a keychain, because your keys have been looking a little boring, and a DVD of a terrible movie from your childhood.Â
âYou should have let me pay,â Suna persists as you walk out of the store.Â
âYou already paid for my tea when you didnât even get anything. I wasnât letting you pay for this.âÂ
âDonât think Iâm not paying for dinner.âÂ
âYou are absolutely not.â
The back and forth is pointless, because his hand is already linked in yours again, and you know that you canât resist the temptation of this romance that has been slowly creeping between you two this evening.Â
Itâs a little past 6:00, and the sun is starting to set below the buildings, and you canât remember the last time you felt like this. Itâs like a first date feeling all over again, except itâs not a first date, itâs probably the 200th, but itâs the first in a while. You know Suna, and Suna knows you, or at least you used to know each other. Itâs hard to know what parts of you are still the same, and if those parts were essential to the relationship before.Â
But Suna knows, and he hopes you do to, that it doesnât matter if those parts are still the same. Because if theyâre not, at least you can pretend for the night that they are. You can pretend for the night that youâre still right for each other.Â
So once dinner passes and the two of you have laughed endlessly at your stories, have reminisced about the otherâs old eating habits, have relearned the small little details that make up one another, and youâve learned all about the EJP drama, youâre sure that absolutely nothing has changed.Â
Suna still hovers his hand over his mouth when heâs eating in public. He still does the little flick with his hair even though itâs shorter. He still pulls his jacket off behind his body, left arm before his right. He still orders the same kind of ramen and still devours the entire appetizer before youâve barely had a bite. He still laughs at your sarcasm and can push it right back at you. He still makes you laugh with the simplest of jokes or pointing out random things about people. Heâs still quiet and mysterious but entirely vulnerable and considerate to the people he loves. Suna still talks about the Miyas like theyâre his favorite thing in the world, though he would rather die than admit it. He has never-ending admiration for Motoya and a twisted respect for Washio, and you can tell just by the way he talks about them. Heâs still barely expressive, but he makes up for it with overwhelming bluntness.Â
But you, you still get the teeniest bit of splatter on your face when you eat ramen. You still turn your head to the side and cover your mouth when Sunaâs said something funny but you know you shouldnât laugh. You still look directly at him when heâs telling you a story even if youâre uninterested (youâre always interested). You still talk about your work like itâs the most rewarding thing in the world for you. Youâre still sarcastic and charismatic even when youâre feeling your most vulnerable. Youâre still understanding and entirely comprehensive of all of Sunaâs habits, no matter how small. Your smile still lights up the world, and actually might be even brighter now. Your heart and mind shine so brightly, and Suna wishes he could have seen them grow.Â
Two years donât go by without some sort of change, though.
You learn that heâs now on his second apartment since moving to Nagano because his old landlord tried to scam him. You learn that he accidentally got his hair cut too short one time and Motoya made fun of him until it finally grew out. You learn that Osamuâs onigiri shop is wildly successful and Suna travels there sometimes to go support him. You learn that he is wildly more rational than he was two years ago, but still listens to his gut over anything else. You learn that heâs more accepting of his caring side and is okay with showcasing it every now and then. The best parts of him have only grown stronger.Â
Suna learns how hard your college years actually were, how exhausting and draining yet rewarding it all was. He learns how relieved you were to start finding new jobs and internships so you could start doing what you love. He learns how conflicted you were when you found youâd be moving to Nagano, his city, and one of the reasons you split up. He learns that you have the nicest coworkers in the world and your boss loves you, because who wouldnât? Suna learns that youâve embraced your empathy and have learned to care more for other people. He learns that your drive and dedication are even more persistent than before, but youâve allowed yourself to be surrounded by love and care. Youâve embraced all the parts of you that you were scared of.Â
He pays for dinner, just like he insisted he would, and you let him, because you know itâs okay to let other people do things for you. The sun is completely gone by the time you two leave the restaurant, but the stars are still in the process of making themselves known in the night sky. Itâs nearly 9:00 pm, but you still feel energized like itâs the middle of the afternoon.Â
The walk to the subway station is slow and leisurely, and Suna is so grateful that itâs a few blocks away. He doesnât ever want to let go of your hand. He doesnât want to leave your side ever again because tonight has assured him that itâs the biggest mistake he ever made.Â
You pause for a second, stopping right in your tracks like you ran into a wall. Heâs pulled back by his grasp on your hand, and youâre not looking anywhere in particular, but you are incredibly focused on something.Â
âWhatâs up?â he asks you, concern hiding itself in his face.Â
âI hear music.â
âOh. Thereâs a park nearby. They normally have live music on the weekends.âÂ
Your face brightens, and you finally meet his eyes, beaming brighter than all the lights covering the street. âCan we go?âÂ
Suna can not believe the power you have over him. âSure,â he smiles. He leads the way down a few blocks and around a couple corners until you reach the green grass with a pavilion surrounded by string lights. The music is loud, yet calming, and the band is playing covers of your favorite artist.Â
Youâre not sure if this night could get any more perfect.Â
Your timing is perfect, because they start playing your favorite slow song. Suna smirks, taking advantage of the perfection of the moment. He pulls you closer to him, wrapping his other arm around your waist and starts swaying. Thereâs a crowd, he doesnât care.Â
âDidnât think you were this romantic, Rin,â you quip.Â
âOnly for you, (Y/n).âÂ
You donât have any sarcastic comment for him because you know heâs telling the truth. He wants to kiss you so bad, but he knows he shouldnât. So instead, he admires the smile you give him. The welcoming, warm, blinding smile that suppresses the last bit of nerves he was feeling.Â
He leads you like the perfect dance partner, spinning you when necessary and pulling you closer until heâs practically suffocating you. You taught him all of this. He was a hopeless cause of a dancer when you met him, but you taught him how. You expertly molded him into the perfect partner for you and you alone, and heâs gonna make sure you know it.Â
Suna can tell by your unwavering smile and the light in your eye that youâre happy right now. But when the song ends, and that light in your eyes is still there, he wonders how heâs been holding himself back all night. Wonders how hasnât kissed you a million times already. Wonders how he hasnât asked you to fall in love with him again.Â
He doesnât realize that he still has his arm around your waist, pressing you to him. You decide to let him realize it on his own. It takes him a minute, but he eventually gives a telling gaze and his hand slowly glides away from your waist.
âShould I take you home?â Suna asks.Â
âOnly if you want to.âÂ
Thereâs a lot of things Suna wants to do, but his night has gone perfectly, and he feels like if he drags it out for too long that heâll somehow make it un-perfect. He wants to kiss you. He wants to hold you. He wants to relearn every part of you. Yes, he wants to take you home, but heâs sure that if he does, heâll want to do so much more.Â
He also trusts you enough to stop him.Â
âLetâs go,â he tells you, finally dropping his fingertips from your waistline and leading you with his hand still intertwined with yours. A comfortable silence befalls the two of you when you step onto the pavement again.Â
Whatâs crazy to Suna is that he doesnât feel nervous at all. Thereâs no âwhat ifâ behind his actions or yours. Thereâs no doubt. Happiness is practically radiating from your body. Itâs radiating from the way you occasionally give his hand a firm squeeze or in the way youâre walking with your back a little straighter. Itâs radiating in the way that you still have a smile plastered on your face even though he hasnât sad anything in five minutes. He notices all of it, and he wonders how the person clinging onto him was the reason behind that bad feeling he had at the bar a week ago.Â
You make it to the station and he takes you all the way to your stop, even though his is before yours. Itâs not like you were going to stop him. Youâll savor every second you can get with him tonight.Â
Suna points out the guy who has decided the train is a better place to sleep than his own bed. He doesnât make a scene about it, just taps you on the shoulder from where his arm is draped over you, and points. You giggle, just under your breath, so as to not disturb the manâs sleep. You point out lines from the conversation a woman is having on the phone several seats away. Sheâs speaking quietly, but youâre still picking up some things and piecing together the story for Suna.Â
You start to exaggerate the story of this womanâs phone call, keeping you and Suna entertained the entire train ride back to your apartment. Once your stop comes, youâre the first to stand up. Suna watches you, admires you from below, and if there was any conscious person on this train right now, they would see how enamored he is with you.Â
You reach behind yourself for his hand. He admires the gesture, smirking to himself before taking it and following your lead onto the platform. The fluorescent lights become a bit dimmer, the darkness of night time starting to encapsulate the station. The light is even more scattered when you take him onto the sidewalk.Â
Sunaâs been around here before, maybe once or twice because of a store he needed to go to that wasnât any closer. Itâs quieter, a lot quieter, actually, than downtown. Thereâs almost no street noise, which was abnormal for a Friday night. Thereâs so few cars driving by and so few commercial stores. The quiet is almost drowned out by the bite the cold air is starting to leave all over his body. The first time he gets out of his head since being on the street is when he hears your voice.Â
âThis way,â you give a slight tug on his hand, turning him around a corner. Itâs almost like youâre the one taking him home. Although, to be fair, he doesnât know where you live.
After a corner and a couple of buildings later, you arrive at your building. Suna expects this to be the last heâll see of you, for a while, if not ever. He had one last hurrah with you, knowing it would be the last. But that doesnât stop the aching feeling in his chest now that the ending moment is coming to a close.Â
But like youâve always managed to do, you make that worry go away. âWalk me up?âÂ
âOf course,â he softens, stopping himself from letting out a sigh of relief. He doesnât hesitate to hold the door open for you. You smirk and accept the gesture and Suna follows you through the lobby, up the elevator, down the hallway, and to your door. If he didnât know you any better, heâd think you were dragging him along. But he knows thatâs not your intention.Â
Suna knows that you want a proper, pleasant, private goodbye. One where you can really pour your heart out to him, be genuine, without worrying about a stranger passing by or overhearing.Â
You start fishing for you keys in your bag, already adorned with your new keychain, finding them right in time to arrive at your door. âThis is me,â you say, turning to face him with your back to the door.Â
âI guess this is goodnight, then,â he says with his hands in his pockets.Â
âI had a really great time tonight, Rin,â you admit. Youâre fiddling with your keys, and Suna takes that as a sign that youâre nervous. But nervous for what?
He smiles at you. âMe too...I missed you a lot, (Y/n).âÂ
âI missed you too. You know...it almost felt like...âÂ
He waits for you to finish, but you donât. âLike...what?â
You shake your head, looking at the ground instead of him. âNever mind. Itâs stupid.â
âCome on, just tell me.âÂ
You look up again and heâs staring directly at you, like he knew exactly where your eyes would land. If thereâs one thing thatâs the most telling about Suna, itâs his eyes. And in his eyes heâs carrying every worry, expectation, and excitement about tonight and the words youâre about to say. You see it all.Â
âIt almost felt like we were dating again.â
Suna pauses. Takes in your face, your eyes, your lips. Any part of you that might indicate dishonesty or regret in what you just said. He finds none. He places his hand on your cheek, thumb gently grazing just below your eye. âIs that such a bad thing?â
Heâs never been one to hold back on his thoughts. Heâll always tell you the truth, exactly whatâs on his mind. Thatâs one of the reasons you loved him in the first place. Sunaâs bluntness and sarcasm are his star qualities, but you can tell heâs holding back. Heâs afraid, so you choose to ease both of your nerves. âI donât think so.âÂ
Heâs leaning down, leaning his face closer, but slowly. Once he realizes youâre not going to stop him, he connects your lips. Theyâre softer than ever before, gentler, but itâs taking his breath away regardless. He feels the breath you let out, so he eases into it more, twisting his head and inching his hand further down your neck.Â
Every second you fiddle with the key behind you is another second closer Suna gets to kicking down the door himself. All it took was a split second of your lips on his for him to remember exactly how to kiss you, to remember the exact shape and feel of your lips. Heâs sure, completely certain, that heâll remember how to treat the rest of you as soon as he gets the chance.Â
Youâve already given him this much tonight, but he canât wait another second for the opportunity.Â
The click lock and twist of the handle are music to Sunaâs ears. It feels choreographed when you grab his shirt and drag him inside, and youâre walking surprisingly fast for someone going backwards. Your lips donât part, not even for a second, even when the bags hit the floor. His hand never leaves your neck. If he lets go, you might get away, and he doesnât think he can keep up.Â
As soon as you shut the door, heâs pulling you closer, his other hand pressing at the small of your back. Youâre impatient and growing hotter by the second, so you start to pull your jacket off your arms behind you, rapidly, impatiently. As soon as itâs discarded, you reach for his shoulders to start getting his off. Suna thinks itâs a great idea, removing his hands from you to pull off his sleeves, left sleeve before the right. Â
The loss of contact leaves you both desperate, but his hands are back on you in an instant. Thereâs less clothes. One barrier gone. Youâre both clear with your intentions for the rest of the night. Another barrier gone.Â
It happens too quickly, Suna thinks, how fast you both end up in your bedroom, on your bed, with no clothes, and so entangled with one another that even an earthquake couldnât tear you apart. Suna takes his time to glide is hands over every inch of your body, and confirms that his hypothesis was right. It only took a split second for him to remember every curve, every sensitive spot, every crease and bend and softness to your body. Itâs better than he remembers, and heâs grateful that youâre letting him learn you all over again.Â
His touches are gentle and savory, and have you falling apart at any unexpected squeeze. The way he holds you, you think, is tighter yet more tender than it used to be. Heâs savoring this too, and youâre grateful. Youâre grateful for every âI missed you, I missed you so muchâ and every âyouâre beautifulâ and every other sound he admires you with. The care with which heâs handling you wouldâve been off-putting if it was anyone but Suna. But it is him. Itâs really him, and heâs really the one pulling this out of you once again.Â
None of it is a blur, absolutely none of it. Every expression, sound, tweak, touch that you made, Suna has it engraved in his mind forever. Every little detail, every little âpleaseâ and âRinâ and any other word that came from your mouth. Theyâre playing on repeat in Sunaâs head like a broken record.Â
But then youâre still there, lying next to him, on him, as he lays on his back. The breaths are heavy, the skin is hot and sweaty and sticky. He keeps one arm behind his head while the other is gently stroking up and down your spine. As soon as the breathing settles, Suna places a gentle kiss against your temple. You turn your head to look at him, in all his post-sex glory, and you give him a real kiss. He deserves it.Â
âDid you mean it?â you ask him, unaware that the words are even leaving your mouth.Â
âWhat? That it wouldnât be a bad thing if we dated again?âÂ
You nod, chin resting against his sternum.Â
âOf course I meant it.â Heâs looking at you sincerely. Everything leading up to this second tonight, every nervous hand hold, every fleeting touch and lingering gaze, every meal, every drink, every dance. Suna has given you absolutely no reason to doubt him. He lets out a confession. âI wouldâve done anything for you, you know.â
âHm?â Itâs so out of the blue, whatever heâs implying.
âTwo years ago. I wouldâve done anything for you. I would have moved across the world if you asked, but you were never going to.âÂ
âYou just started for EJP. I would never take your career away from you.âÂ
âAnd I would never take yours away from you.âÂ
You turn your head to the side because you donât think you can bear to his face on his next answer. âWhere was this two years ago?âÂ
He sees what youâre doing, how youâre trying to hide. He grabs your chin, gently lifting your head to look at him again. âI think I was too stupid to realize how stupid I was.âÂ
You canât hide the growing smirk, the growing smile. How is he always able to bring a smile out of you when youâre feeling the most vulnerable? âWell, you donât have to move across the world. I am here now.âÂ
Suna smiles. âI know.âÂ
You push yourself farther up his body, getting closer to his face so the kiss isnât as far of a reach. Itâs not just a peck this time. You really, truly, kiss him, turning your head to get even closer.Â
You pull away, both of you hazy and lovesick, the crinkly-eyed smiles being evidence enough. You smile down at him, that show-stopping, beaming smile, and Suna swears heâs never been happier. âYouâre worth all the effort for me to try again,â he assures you.Â
âThen letâs try again.âÂ
















