black mamba

I’ve been struggling lately. I think it’s a struggle between my heart and my mind. There are plenty of outside forces that will want to rumble a home that you have built. Some people are weaker than others to succumb to such forces. Seeing everything unravel before my eyes is traumatising. My whole word is shaken and turned upside down. I know all the things I deserve- honesty, trust, devotion, companionship. I know I deserve better because I don’t receive half of these mentioned. It is almost all a lie.. maybe I deserve this. No, that’s psychology playing tricks on me again. I don’t deserve this. No one does. I’ve never been good at hiding things either. My face is as transparent as today’s trending tops. Deep down I know what I SHOULD do, but I’m conflicted by what I WANT to do. I want everything to go back to the way it used to be. Before the lies, the deceit, the dishonesty. This is human nature though. Some people are better at being leopards than antelope. I need a glimmer of hope. I’m really struggling.