Slappy's Back In Town

THAT IS NOT MY NAME-

Oh god it’s back, someone call animal control

How do you get drunk, We’re made from coffin wood. We have no digestive track- no esophagus- well, that we know of at least. He can suffer- after all, I am the best Slappy- far better than him. 

Great, now I have a cockroach running around with some ‘scheme’.

(1/2)

So you’re a termite? 

As long as they can do manual labor, I don’t care what race or gender they are. However, as it is common sense- I do prefer weak-minded strong slaves. They do whatever I tell them to and they do it well. 

Alright human, go ahead. You get one shot at asking me a question- every one after that is one part of your soul.

Get them yourself, I’m busy running a... wait- this is a restaurant isn't it? Right- I almost forgot about the whole... ‘serving’ part. You know what, human? Treat yourself to the back. 

Oh great, you’re in existence, f a n t a s t i c .

I’d like to see you choke on it.

They are the subjects of this universe, they’re big, hairy, stupid apes who are relatively good at following orders when scared into their position. That and I don’t want to do the more ‘dirty’ jobs, and while my monsters are great for that they have their own needs. Watching the wolfman try to build anything is a nightmare all itself. 

Wash your mouth out with Soap, gremlin

Do it and you’ll instantly die

Myself