the world around them seemed to settle like snow on the ground ā dulled into a silence as she remained hidden against the furs that covered them both, held within his warm embrace. catelyn came to a dangerous realization that no matter the years that had passed, peace and purpose could still be found by his side and now, with her duty to her family fulfilled and her worth in the eyes of westeros dismissed, she was loathe to be parted from him. from a distance, she had assumed very little had changed with him but up close, her eyes devouring every inch of him with a greediness that rivaled a starving fox, catelyn could see the heaviness in his features. he had aged, not because of passing time, but because of all that had happened since they last laid eyes on each other, and she was almost compelled to inquire about his old injury, to see if he had been taking care of himself in her absence.
( a small part of her that was aware of distance and what might have developed in that time kept her from fussing over him as she once might have, however. )
ā catelyn ... ? ā she hummed softly, attempting a small smile, lip quivering. ā am i no longer your kit ? ā perhaps she was not ā it was a foolish thing to say and she regretted it almost immediately, eyes squeezing shut as she shook her head, as though to convince herself ( and him ) to pay her words no mind. there was a wetness to her eyes when she reopened them, though catelyn would excuse it on emotion, if asked. she longed to seize his palms and press kisses to his knuckles, to tuck his hand against her side and keep him warm, but instead, she reached up, tentative, to trail a finger along his jaw before her touch skittered away. ā ... i wish i could have met her. ā they had spoken of it before, along with a great many other things. bryndon's hut had become a memorial of their dreams, just as it had become a memorial of her brother's talent.
ā i should have been there ... like you were for me, after the war. ā the strong hands that had picked her up from the ground and set her onto a chair, packing away or burning things when she could not. her brow furrowed deeper and she pulled away a little, fingers clutching at his arms, reluctant to fully relinquish her hold on him. she shook her head at the mention of her husband, her child ā her shame. she had been a poor wife, constantly comparing her deceased husband to the memory of beron and when she had looked down at her child, for however long the boy had lived, catelyn could only lament the times she had lined her stomach with moontea ā ever the practical one.
( it should have been beron, as her husband. the gods knew her thoughts and punished her by taking them both away from her. they were her shame and she could never confess it for fear of judgment. )
ā my only comfort was that it had been quick ... the child ... my son, he knew no pain. only that he was loved. ā or so she hoped. her eyes closed and she swallowed a sigh, feeling a weight loosen, however little, in her chest. ā better, now that i am here. now that i can see for myself that you are well. you are well ? how is your leg ? ā