transferred to @cloudeulogy

the call rings once, then you immediately answer.

as he pops up on your screen tears slip from your eyes right on your clothes, leaving another spot of already so plenty on your pants.

you wash away the traces from your cheeks with a sleeve (of his jumper), already partially drenched.

“are you sure you are not busy?” you ask, worried about messing up his tight and packed schedule.

“what’s wrong?” he ignores your question, his tone higher than usual, clearly worried.

you catch your breathing, trying to recall all that went wrong during the past ten hours or so, but the distress immediately arises.

“i’m just having a bad day” you mutter, trying to quieten your sobbing.

“what happened?” you open your mouth to answer, but your breathing is so unsteady that you find no air left to talk with, “baby, it’s ok, please breathe”.

and you do. you inhale violently, trying to overcome the stiffness of your chest.

“slowly in” he instructs you, “and slowly out”. with all your remaining strength you try to focus to stabilise the rhythm.

even thousands of kilometres away, he’s still undoubtedly by your side, holding your hand.

“just like this, baby, you are doing so good” he comforts you. but in reality you are not, just the word makes your eyes itch again.

but under his guidance and in all your almighty stubbornness, you inhale and exhale again. and again. and again. until your breathing allows you to speak.

“it just hurts so much sometimes and no one ever told me it could get this bad” you explain, your voice still shaken.

even with your eyes full of tears, blurring your vision, you can still see the distressed painted on hyunjin’s face. he looks also on the verge of crying. maybe he already was.

“sometimes i miss you so much that i feel like i’m exploding” you take a deep breath (“in and out, yes, just like this”) and wipe away the few tears left, “like i have so much love for you and i can’t store it anymore inside of me because there is no space left and it’s pushing me out of my own skin”.

“baby, please” his voice cracks, “i’m so sorry”.

“it’s not your fault” you quickly add, “and i’m really glad that i love you”.

“but sometimes it just hurts so bad and i just wish that-“ but the end of the sentence goes unsaid, because you don’t know what you want, what could cure this emptiness — aside from him.

“that you loved me a little less?” he tries to suggest. you shake your head, with fervour.

his eyes are glossy just as much as yours, even though yours are scored by the broken capillaries of your iris.

he dries away his tears before they can even stain his face.

“loving you is the best think that ever happened to me, hyune, don’t ever think that i would want that”. you suppress another sob, caused by the nightmare scenario of a life without the enrichment of his presence. you quickly cast it away and lock it up behind closed doors, to which you throw away the key.

a single tear escapes his strict surveillance.

“why are you so pretty when you cry? i look like a red frog” you joke, seeking a livelier atmosphere. he laughs lightly, his heart still stuck in his throat, and you feel like crying all over again, but for very different reasons.

when did i get so lucky.

“i love you too, love” he simply adds. and to you there is nothing left to say. however, your tears don’t seem to wanting to stop. but that’s fine, not all tears are bound to be sad.

hyung line !!

maknae line !!