닌자처럼!

And how I miss those days. Nine months later and such a trigger still exists to remind me of you.

I felt upcoming onset as I was driving home from errands today. I am already tired as it is but this episode really set me up for an afternoon nap.

It is now 8:30pm and my thoughts and regrets are charging at me, taking full body tackles with separated intervals.

Been to tired to think about you lately, but tonight everyone just ran through my mind.

Last week I told myself I’m going to move on. No more checking out their pictures, no more dwelling on that person , just move on.

Guess what? Ding ding mother fcker it’s Bullshit, here to mess with your feelings. Girl walks in while you’re drinking your drink. Sits on the table next to me.

Like... wtf you want me to do. This girl, fcking breaking my heart still. Breaking my heart in the past four months. And I finally had the fcking set to try to get over her. Not even a fcking week.

I was hurting. I wanted to say something. “I miss you”, “Are you happy?”, “Do you miss me?”, but I didn’t.

SHE WAS LESS THAN FIVE FEET AWAY.

Fcking hurts. And since I didn’t say anything... and I’m sure she didn’t hear my “bye” when I walked away.... I bet I look like I’m the bitter one. I may be but I harbor no ill feelings against her. Still feel the same. I’m trying and I can only hope the best for that girl. I really do.

For hours, I waited but you didn’t show,

Left me searching for answers that I already know.

Coz you walked away, and left out that door.

You will never come back, an “us” there’s no more.

Four months have passed, still you run through my mind.

Searching for an answer that I know I can’t find.

At one point we were happy, at one point we were fine.

At this point, I still love you, but you’re no longer mine.

Close my eyes, reminisce, rush of memories from then.

Reliving those memories with each stroke of my pen.

Do I miss you? Do I miss us? Or am I drowning in regret?

Did I mess up? Am I disappointed? Do I wish we’ve never met?

I don’t blame you, I don’t hate you, for then I was happy.

Even though it didn’t work out and just wasn’t meant to be.

But we shared some good times, and for that I will treasure.

It’s love that I gave, it’s an experience with no measure.

For the duration may be short but I was happy, I say truly.

Time spent with you is something that was spent fully.

Pardon this fool’s dramatic entry for something you find trivial.

To me it was precious, I’ll cherish. For me it was special.

For others, insignificant, labeled as Fool’s Gold.

But even with no value, close to my heart I will hold.

But time has passed, that ship has sailed. Will I ever see you again?