Hydra

I have never met a creature as stupid as a customer in a store

girl i am not looking at your tits i prommy i just hate eye contact

"my eyes are up here" believe me, i know

"never trust how you feel abt ur life after 9pm" is a spring & summer & fall rule. for winter it's never trust how u feel abt ur life after 4pm

when my bf was visiting this past spring i had to keep telling him to sleep in bed w me without a shirt on and always played it off like it was bc i think hes hot (i do) but the truth is i’m a super aggro sleeper and i was so scared i was going to grab the front of his shirt and headbutt him as hard as i possibly could. i could not risk exploding his skull.. 

when he left he gave me one of his shirts so i could put it on the djungleskog he brought me and i do regularly wake up with my fists white knuckle balled up in the shirt after going in for the headbutt and missing, ricocheting off my apartment building wall hard enough to knock my 3ds off the nightstand, due to the floppy nature of the djungleskog bear. my worries are not unfounded i hope my bf can survive.

Honestly nothing but respect to the user who tagged this post “Sleep Violence.”

which limb?

penis

penis isn’t a limb you idiot it’s an external sex organ

my bad professor cock didn't realize i had an expert over here 🙄