It begins... @skittlesmash - Tumblr Blog

i just recently had an abortion over the weekend and it was great that i had access to it, without it my boyfriend and i would of had to drop out of college and ruin our lives but apparently abortion is sooo wrong when its not even a baby, its a parasite made of cells that have no feelings that is leaving my body, people like you make me sick‏

When I first read this post, I thought I would just delete it like the rest. I know your intentions were to cause me suffering, and if causing me suffering means you win, then I guess you have. To be honest, lying in this hospital bed, it is young women like you that I think about the most.

I was once like you. I was once told that aborting my children was the answer to my life. I was once told that my boyfriend too would have to drop out of the University he attended, and I wouldn’t be able to attend the following year after I graduated from High School. The funny thing was, because of my son, my ex-boyfriend and I qualified for several grants and scholarships. In fact, I’m one of the few people I know that was able to go to school without taking out student loans. Which is probably why I’m a home owner at 26.

I was once like you. “Its a clump of cells,” they told me. “Its a parasite,” they said. When scientifically speaking, that’s inaccurate. It is a fetus, or an unborn human being. I know a human becomes easier to kill once you label it something else. This is called dehumanization. You don’t need to dehumanize the unborn human being, you can just call it what it is; you aborted an underdeveloped human being.

As I look into my sons eyes, I don’t see a parasite, or a clump of cells. I see a brown haired, fair skin, goofy 8 year old human being. I see a human being with the exact same body as the one they called a parasite when it was in my womb. His body grows a little more every year, and every year he gets stronger. “Mom, let me help you with that.” he says, as I struggle to carry bags into the house. “Mom, wait, I’ll get it for you,” he says, as he jumps in front of me to reach for the door to open it. His body is more developed, that’s for sure, but it it the same as it was when it was tiny and growing inside me.

I was once like you. “It will ruin your life,” they said. “You’re a child yourself”, they said. That’s the strangest. As I lie in this hospital bed, at risk of death, I have no fear. I am 26 years old, and have absolutely nothing more that I could ask for to make me happier. If keeping my son ruined my life, then why do I have everything I want? Why am I so content with my short life, if it was ruined the day he was born? The love and happiness I have experienced in my short life, is enough to feel fulfilled, complete. My life is beautiful, and my children were the ones that made it that way.

When I cry, my children burry their heads on my chest, wipe my tears with their tiny fingers. When I smile, they run to me, wrap their arms around me, lean back and giggle. What have they destroyed in my life besides all that was bitter, hateful and selfish? Besides all those awful parts of me they peeled away with their tenderness, and gentleness.

I’m sorry that when you terminated your pregnancy, you felt nothing, and I’m afraid that is where we are different. I couldn’t bring myself to dehumanize the tiny human being inside my body, even though it was under developed, dependent and inconvenient. I felt. And I’m the one who feels for you now. I can feel the loss for your unborn human being.

I know you assume I think I’m “better then you”. But it’s exactly the opposite. As I lay here in this bed, ready to give my life for the child inside of me right now, it isn’t just because its my child. It’s because it is a human being. I am willing to die for an underdeveloped, dependent and inconvenient human being, because that human is my equal. You are my equal, your child is my equal, and I don’t have it in me to view my life as more valuable then anyone else’s. I can’t use any reason to take an innocent human being, dehumanize it, and place it under me. And I don’t want to.

I’m sorry that people like me make you sick, but I think if you really new me, you wouldn’t feel that way. Maybe if you knew me, you could see that my life is beautiful and wonderful just like yours, and just like every human being. I believe that your life is precious, and you were made for more love then you comprehend, and I’m so sorry you can’t see the value of life.

Life is precious. It is a divine right, it is so precious that I would be willing to die if that is the cost for another to live.

Months from now, I hope that you read this and I’m living with my new beautiful child, in my modest house, with the rest of my family, but if I’m not, I want you to remember that it made me happy to risk my life for another human being, and I would gladly do it even for someone who was sickened by me; I would even do it for you.

Life is invaluable.

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the-no-good-moonite

While re-enactments of fictional events are a great amusement for me (if perhaps, not for the intended reasons), I am not sure Tony Abbot’s scheme to get Indonesia in on his Tomorrow: When the War Began LARP is such a good idea.

skittlesmash

Yeah, I don't like that idea either.

The Fight for Individuality

I want to start off by saying that I have nothing against body modifications, it's your body, you do what you want with it. Even though some things I find aesthetically unappealing to my eyes, I do find some body modifications look cool. But that is not what this post is about, it's about the fight for individuality. I often hear the reason that these individuals get these changes done to them is to become unique, an individual. That is fine, what bugs me is when I get called boring and "normal" for not falling into this phase of changing what I look like artificially. I think that is a load of bullshit. I'm pretty sure that more than 50% of Western culture has dyed their hair. How does it make me, a young girl in her 20s ( prime time for such change) any more unique by dying my hair artificial colors that thousands of other people have in their hair? Or put ink into my skin with graphics that thousands of other people have in their skin? Because I'm not creative enough to feel confident enough to make my own design, like the majority of other people who get tattoos(obviously not all, many create their own designs). I have every right to feel like an individual and unique by not adding things to my body as others have the right to feel like an individual and unique by modifying their body. You might be like " Oh, but that is contridicting what you said, because you said that it is not unique since everyone does it". If you think that, then you clearly don't get the point I am trying to make, so get off my page.

Moving on. Now lets talk about the Goth culture. This is a prime example of a culture who claims that they are fighting for individuality yet they have a huge set of rules from head to toe, right down to their very existence(and don't even get me started on the flipping Hipster culture---we are going to conform by not conforming!). Before you goths get all offended, I am definitely not talking about all goths, so relax your toosh. I actually watch a few youtubers who are goth, Kill Natalie is an example ( who actually made a video about this issue some time ago, or maybe a short time ago, I don't remember). I think the culture is cool in itself, but the fact that they set down all these rules and if you don't follow those rules you're not goth enough to belong in the culture? That is disgraceful. For a culture to claim that they fight for individuality(hence why I am focusing on goths) and then to throw in a detailed set of rules of what you should wear, what music you should listen to, how you should act, what you should believe. Holy flipping pancakes, it's like a religion. Two things Natalie said in her Goth Confessions video that I think are good is that "Goths don't always hang together" ( may not be exact words, I am using memory) and " goth shouldn't be your whole life". I think it is good to hang with different people, it opens your mind, and not to mention, would develop better communication skills considering you know how to talk to more than one group of people. Even if you believe the goth culture runs through your veins and without it you would surely die, that is not the case. You are just slowly losing your individuality and becoming that of one being. Maybe that is what you want, to belong, and that group is what makes you who you are. That's fair enough, it's one of the psychological needs, to belong. In fact we mimic those who we associate with in order to belong. But it always disturbed me to the degree that people will go to fit in... Then push out those who don't...When it's a culture that the rest of society pushed out to begin with. I just find it ironic.

I like seeing homosexuals who are able to mix with straight people, who rarely talked about their sexuality. I think that shows the world that sexuality isn't what defines a person, instead of a gay saying " look at me, look at me I am gay!" then question " why is it that all people focus on is the fact that I am gay?". It's like a woman wearing super revealing clothing and wondering why people are staring at her cleavage. I'm straight and I can't help staring at cleavage when it's it right in my face. Look at those big mommas! Can I get an amen?! No?

My whole point is, being in a sub culture doesn't make you an individual, it makes you a part of a group of people with the same beliefs, values and look. To be a true individual, you just have to be yourself and not make that culture your whole being. If you want it to be your whole world(if that is being yourself), then don't come to me and tell me I am not an individual and I am boring when all you wear is black and you listen to the same music because if you don't you wont "belong".

#individuality #rant #goth culture #kill natalie #be yourself

Lame Dad Jokes

So it is 6am and I barely feel tired, so started to think about how my Dad had influenced me with his lame Dad jokes. I actually love lame jokes, the lamer they are the more I laugh at it. So I thought I would share one I said the other day to a friend. One of my friends can express himself very well just by using his face, therefore I made this comment; "Wow, you're face is like a book...You could say...a face...book" hahaha, love it.

#lamedadjokes #badinfluence #facebook

gaywrites

“If you are going through hell, keep going.”

Winston Churchill

(I need this today. Hugs to anyone else who does, too.)

(via gaywrites)

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Let there be light!

Everything has a beginning, and here is mine. A young woman, with the world in front of her, so many opportunities to grab hold of, hopes, dreams, interests that she wants to pursue but for some reason only day dreamed about doing.

Her life started out interesting, every day a new adventure. She was the youngest, with two older brothers, 2 years apart from each other. Because her family used to move around a lot she got to experience new places, even though they were still within the same state of NSW. Her childhood was a time when children could leave the house and enjoy the outside world. She and her brothers would go out and play with sticks, make up imaginary worlds and climb trees( then get yelled at for climbing said trees).

Of course everything changed as she grew older and went into high school. Suddenly she became more aware of what society expected of her, that makeup, and her image was important, she was introduced to the internet and suddenly she began to recognize the dangers of the world around her. Her life became boring, she feared taking risks incase of being rejected, sometimes even feared succeeding. Or she was just plain lazy. The internet was her safe haven. But now, it's time for a change. Okay, so it is clear this woman is me, so I will stop being dramatic and using the third person. It's kind of fake.

So this is my first blog, and I have honestly been wanting to do it for a while. I don't know what I will make of it in the future, all I know is that I really do want to put an effort into it and make something of it. Even if at the end of the day I'm the only one reading it, it's a document of my life I can go back to and either be proud of or just silently wish I just continued writing in my personal journal. But lets be honest, this is more fun, and hurts the hand less. But anyway, I am hoping that this blog will motivate me to try new things, take up new interests, maybe find something I am really passionate about and then actually make this blog focused on something. Right now, I am what nerds would call a "noob" of tumblr, but I will get there one day. I like to imagine that some time in the future I can look back on this and laugh to myself, thinking, " Oh Ashleigh, you sweet little darling, you knew nothing, but now, now you rule the world!" Okay maybe not that dramatic, but a girl can dream, right?

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