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@skippingismagnificent

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Sorry man I didn't know
new proposed emoji usages 🐎 = remember how we used to run 🧮 = something doesnt add up 🏰 = im in my sherlock mind palace 🧌 = this one is so versatile it can mean im so weird or im so old but more and more i've been using it to say fuck my stupid troll life = similar to above. for when you say something weird and need to hide quickly by becoming an old tree 🧜 = for nonbinary mermaid moments 🧑🧒 = with mama

Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
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i LOVE the word decorum . like please! have some decorum ✋
CHECK THE NEWS IT DOESNT MATTER WHAT CHANNEL
The tortoise investigation committee
they sell items at tjmaxx that even God is not aware of
cow triangles

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Me, trying to impress my date with a display of my boundless humility: I would like to order one single, solitary crumb.
Waitress taking my order: Such arrogance! Not only do you presume to boast under the guise of being humble, but your order employs the most decadent of linguistic excesses - the tautology!
My date, who until recently thought "tautology" referred to the study of tensile strengths and upon learning her mistake compensated by reading through its Wikipedia article: That would be more correctly identified as a "pleonasm".
The editor I hired to curate my posts who styles himself as a sort of scheming court advisor: My liege, this one is getting away from us. The punchline loses much of its impact when the rest of the joke is derailed by this increasingly self-indulgent meta humour. Were it up to me, your Grace, which of course it is not, I would cut the others and leave myself as the only supporting character. You need noone else, Your Majesty...
My card: Declines
Okay, I'll bite. Hawm
All you do is whine
untrue i also suffer, rot, wail, wallow, haunt, mourn and rage

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as a lesbian my shameful crush is tom cruise. i think it's mostly a competency thing tbh. and i think he'd be a calming presence during a crisis
Tom Cruise? Calming? You think Tom Cruise would be calming? A calming presence? Tom Cruise? Competency? You think Tom Cruise is competent? Tom? Tom Cruise? Calming? During a crisis? Calming? Tom Cruise? A calming? Presence? Tom Cruise? You think during a crisis Tom Cruise would calm you down? Tom? Tom Cruise?
older lesbian outside the bar: *lighting a cigarette* when I was graduating high school you were just a baby. isn't that crazy
me, understanding the passage of time: not really