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@skippingismagnificent

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Sorry man I didn't know
new proposed emoji usages 🐎 = remember how we used to run 🧮 = something doesnt add up 🏰 = im in my sherlock mind palace 🧌 = this one is so versatile it can mean im so weird or im so old but more and more i've been using it to say fuck my stupid troll life = similar to above. for when you say something weird and need to hide quickly by becoming an old tree 🧜 = for nonbinary mermaid moments 🧑🧒 = with mama

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i LOVE the word decorum . like please! have some decorum ✋
CHECK THE NEWS IT DOESNT MATTER WHAT CHANNEL
The tortoise investigation committee
they sell items at tjmaxx that even God is not aware of
cow triangles

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Me, trying to impress my date with a display of my boundless humility: I would like to order one single, solitary crumb.
Waitress taking my order: Such arrogance! Not only do you presume to boast under the guise of being humble, but your order employs the most decadent of linguistic excesses - the tautology!
My date, who until recently thought "tautology" referred to the study of tensile strengths and upon learning her mistake compensated by reading through its Wikipedia article: That would be more correctly identified as a "pleonasm".
The editor I hired to curate my posts who styles himself as a sort of scheming court advisor: My liege, this one is getting away from us. The punchline loses much of its impact when the rest of the joke is derailed by this increasingly self-indulgent meta humour. Were it up to me, your Grace, which of course it is not, I would cut the others and leave myself as the only supporting character. You need noone else, Your Majesty...
My card: Declines
Okay, I'll bite. Hawm
All you do is whine
untrue i also suffer, rot, wail, wallow, haunt, mourn and rage

Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
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as a lesbian my shameful crush is tom cruise. i think it's mostly a competency thing tbh. and i think he'd be a calming presence during a crisis
Tom Cruise? Calming? You think Tom Cruise would be calming? A calming presence? Tom Cruise? Competency? You think Tom Cruise is competent? Tom? Tom Cruise? Calming? During a crisis? Calming? Tom Cruise? A calming? Presence? Tom Cruise? You think during a crisis Tom Cruise would calm you down? Tom? Tom Cruise?
older lesbian outside the bar: *lighting a cigarette* when I was graduating high school you were just a baby. isn't that crazy
me, understanding the passage of time: not really