a noble failure! @skippingismagnificent - Tumblr Blog

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ohpsshaw

My beautiful horse.

rationalisms

using a pumice stone isn't very butch of you

i need you to know that this is already a top contender for funniest anon message of the year for me

kosmogrl

aropride

why is there an upgrade button on gmail. why does twitter want me to scan my palm to get into my account. why is google a chatbot. why does the transit app make a transit app wrapped for me. why does youtube keep shoving its infinitely scrollable shortform content down my throat. why do my doctor and psychiatrist and therapist want to use an ai notetaker during our appointments. why do free trials want my credit card number. why are most scholarship websites just data brokers. how do i make capitalone stop sending me mail. why is my school making its own special chat gpt powered chatbot. why is every third video on instagram an undisclosed ad. why is nothing online real anymore. why is everything so FUCKING STUPID

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stjohnstarling

I watch a lot of old movies that nobody cares about any more, and this ends up filling in a lot of gaps in my cultural awareness. You would think knowing more about the world would make me more confident in my understanding of it, but you would be wrong.

The Barefoot Contessa (1954) is the life story of a poor Spanish woman who rises up to become one of the most famous actresses in the world. The movie does not bother to give her character traits beyond that she loves to have sex and also that she loves to run around barefoot (the fetishistic connotations are inescapable). She falls in love with a count and ultimately marries him. The big twist at the end of the movie is that her new husband had his dick blown off in the war and so they can't have sex (because, tragically, he never learned how to do hand stuff). Then he murders her for having an affair.

In 1978, Ina Garten bought a specialty food store that, for some unfathomable reason, someone had already named The Barefoot Contessa after this movie, which in 1999 became the title of her bestselling cookbook, which was then followed by a popular Food Network show. Now all of us need to deal with there being a TV cooking show called The Barefoot Contessa as part of the background radiation of our lives.

None of that makes any sense, and I am forced once more to confront the total lack of meaning in the world. It fills me with a terrifying sense of freedom.

thanksiloveyou

2014 average url: tumblring-in-the-tardis

2026 average url: weemp

jan-liliten

op turned off reblogs but also i respect that they turned them off for a reason but i still want the post here so i removed their name

despazito

bunniope

in charcuterie city, you'll always be cheesed to meet your friends

iamoutofideas

I hate charcuterie city I want to go somewhere else

bunniope

this is all that's left.

iamoutofideas

this is all that's left.

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Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.

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zsnes

ultimate-queen-of-fandoms2

Tags via @redtailfins

pettycentral

hiveswap

Everyone go look up the song nasa banned from space

hiveswap

Don't forget to play it loud as fuck

kowai-kabuki-tanuki

please….listen to the whole thing. And imagine that you are IN SPACE in 1973 and you JUST woke up. Every time you adjust…it escalates somehow.

This song had to be designed in a lab for the sole purpose of fucking with astronauts. whoever added it to the NASA playlist was a genius.

hiveswap

It took them two tries to ban it?

kvotheunkvothe

cahootings

I redownload this app for one day once every maybe two months and unfortunately I’m rewarded every time

#funny to think i've been on that street

molabuddy

^ guy drowning in blood

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Watch Anya Live on Cam

Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.

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Free to watch • No registration required • HD streaming

drakensberg-blog

The reading comprehension and overall common sense on this website is piss poor.

poupon

how dare you say we piss on the poor

cow-inthe-closet

friend whos always planning everything: hey guys lets do something this week!! when are you all available?

friend whos always available: i can do whenever

friend whos constantly busy: im sorry i have work and then school and then the labyrinth and then more work :( i can do tuesday at 3:00 am for five minutes tho

friend with the randomly generated sleep schedule: (no response)

friend who went missing in the woods behind their house 12 years ago and hasn't been heard from since: (no response)

friend whos really into genshin impact: does anyone want to play genshin impact

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a noble failure!