currents swept you out again

This is going to sound really bitchy but i need to get my anxiety out.

We’re getting ready for eras tonight and my most beautiful friend last-minute decided that she’s going to wear almost the exact same thing as me (midnights blue dress + ponytail) and like. i was already feeling very self conscious bc i hate the way i look. but now, in comparison to the world’s most conventionally-attractive person, i cannot even fathom trying to squeeze my body into the outfit i had planned

and if i change my plan now she’ll know why and then she’ll feel bad and i’ll feel bad and it’s not worth it

but now i just wish i was at home and not going to the concert which is DUMB AF bc i’ve been waiting over a year for this