Skewed Twinkling Lights

And yet here he was in the waiting room of Beckett, Sharma & Associates. The building was moderate size but he was quite surprised at how small he felt.

He had an appointment with Kate, Anthony was not sure why but it felt like quite a formal affair.

Flashback (Yesterday)

Anthony arrived back at home and was greeted by his mother. She did not look as happy as she usually did or as happy as she usually pretended to be and frankly, Anthony was not pleased to see her.

"Mother what are you doing here?" he asked sighing. "I wanted to check on you. Let you know that I miss you. The littles miss you too," she said softly. Anthony tried to ignore the guilt he felt wash over him "I miss them too but you won't let me see them without you and despite your barging in here I don't want to see you," His mother had tried to walk towards him and he recoiled back so she sighed and returned her hands to her lap "Son, why won't you let me apologise properly?" "Are you sorry?" he asked quirking his eyebrow. "Of course I am. More than you know," she replied instantly. "What are you sorry about?" Anthony asked as he made his way to the kitchen to get some water. "Are you sorry I am not around anymore? Are you sorry your kids finally what kind of monster you are and are avoiding you too? Are you sorry about Kate? Are you sorry that you ruined my life?" The last question came out louder than he had intended but he had not seen his mother since the hospital and he was having a tough time applying all the techniques that his therapist was teaching him. His mother looked taken aback by his tone and guilty "I'm sorry son. More than you will ever know," It was a while before she spoke again "My mother was not the best person. She only saw her way through society as a way to climb up. When your father asked for my hand I was more than happy to leave her behind... but after your father died..." she took a breath and then continued "I needed my mother and she was there for me. I hadn't realised just how much the relationship with your father had sheltered me from the realities of what it is like being in the peerage," "Don't blame them or your mother for your own choices," Anthony said to her and himself honestly. "You are right. I am working on that with my psychologist," Anthony was surprised by that revelation but let her continue "I just wanted you to know that I thought that was how I was supposed to act, that was how I was supposed to be as a mother. I thought it was my job to secure you a favourable match because if I could have control over your match I would not lose my connection with you. I realise now how selfish it was. I also realise how hypocritical it was for me to have this great life with the love of my life but then deny you yours," Anthony held his breath at this moment. His mother hadn't really mentioned Kate since the night they broke up, even when Simon called her up to be his best woman she made it seem as if Kate never existed and Kate seemed happy to do the same. Anthony sighed and rand his fingers through his hair "It doesn't matter now, mum," "It matters now more than ever," she said and something about how she said it made Anthony lift his head to look at her. "Is there something you want to say?" Anthony asked. "Kate was here,"

Anthony barely remembered what his mother had said afterwards but he knew he had to call Kate. His mother left quickly after telling him that she had tried to get Kate and her mother to stay and wait for him to return but Kate's mother was not interested in keeping company with his mother and he couldn't blame her. He had blocked Kate's number before his hospitalisation but he had called her but she was in a meeting so he told her secretary to let her know that he had called.

The thing is once Anthony had unblocked Kate, a lot of messages began to pop up. She had been checking in on him wondering if he was okay, some were even messages about maybe getting coffee. She had called him the morning of the baby shower. He winced at the memory of that event. Of that day entirely.

The response to Anthony's message was not what he thought. He had received a call from Kate's secretary to schedule an appointment so that they could meet this week. They were both free the next day (today) so he jumped at a chance to see her. He wasn't sure what he was going to say but he knew that he had to be honest with her about his feelings and failures even if it didn't go anywhere.

Clara had suggested he bring a family member for support but who was he supposed to bring? Daphne was six months pregnant and Simon was stressed out looking after her. Eloise was finishing up exams. Colin was in Ireland for some reason and he couldn't use his teenage siblings as security blankets. He could have called Ben but they weren't on friendly terms these days. Yeah, they spoke, Ben, was helping out with certain familiar responsibilities but Ben never stuck around long enough for them to talk properly and it still bugged Anthony that over the last two years, he had basically lost four of his closest friends, Simon, Daphne, Ben & Kate.

Kate's secretary Clara had come to fetch him to take him to Kate's office, he smiled at her but he sensed apprehension coming off of her. Trying to ignore the knots in his stomach, he went over the talking points he and his therapist had discussed. It was important to Anthony that Kate at least knew how he felt about her and his failures as a boyfriend and as someone who he considered to be progressive.

When Clara opened the door to Kate's office, Anthony took a breath and walked in.

"Hey, Kate," Anthony greeted trying to sound not as anxious as he felt.

"Hello Anthony," Kate said and then she turned around to face him and Anthony's eyes were drawn down to her stomach.

---

Kate was not sure how she was expected to feel but she was surprisingly calm. She wasn't sure if she was getting unknown amounts of resilience from her pregnancy or because Edwina and Mary had taken up her anger and protectiveness in her stead. Mary was not happy coming face-to-face with Violet Bridgerton yesterday. It was the first time in her life she had ever truly seen her stepmother angry. Kate was sure Mary had probably been angry before but Mary was raised in the peerage so she just assumed she knew how to hide her hostility a bit better than Kate. Well, that theory went out of the way yesterday. Mary made it clear that she and Kate would not drink anything Violet had to offer or speak to her directly. After a while, it seemed foolish to wait for Anthony in a silent living room so Kate told Violet that she should let him know she stopped by.

Before they were able to leave Violet asked if the baby was Anthony's, Mary shut it down and let Violet know that it was no concern of hers and that she would be the only grandmother the child knew.

When Clara told her that Anthony had called about 3 hours after leaving Anthony's place, Kate knew that he knew and instead of feeling dread like how she had been feeling since she found out she was pregnant, Kate felt relaxed because once this meeting was done, Kate was under no obligation to hide her pregnancy anymore and Edwina had been dying to do a pregnancy photoshoot in the style of Beyonce for weeks.

There was a knock at the door and then Anthony walked. Kate hesitated turning around but then looked down at her belly.

"Hey Kate," Anthony greeted.

Kate turned around "Hello Anthony,"

His eyes widened and his mouth opened a bit as he stared at her belly.

Kate looked at Clara who was waiting at the door and said "Thanks Clara. Send up some tea in about 45 minutes please,"

Clara nodded "Yes Ms Sharma," and then she closed the door.

Kate took a look at Anthony who still had his mouth agape and said "Anthony please take a seat," she directed him to the couch facing opposite her as she took a seat on the opposing couch.

Anthony cleared his throat and then said "Congratulations, I guess,"

Kate was shocked at the instant positive sentiment "Th-Thank you," she put her hand on her belly instinctively.

"Is it...?"

"Yours? Yes. I hear there has been some confusion on the closeness of me and Ben's relationship," Kate did not pose the last statement as a question because she knew it to be true Edwina had heard about it at school because Francesca and Hyacinth were talking about it with their friends.

"Yes, well Simon told me I was being an idiot but still... You guys are close," He said the last part softly and Kate felt bad for a moment.

"He knew. Ben knew I was pregnant and since he had caught us in your place exactly 4 months and 27 days ago, he was able to figure out that the baby was yours," Kate levelled him with a look.

"I- I- I don't understand why he didn't just tell me that," he said running his fingers through his hair. Kate knew this to be a bit of a nervous tick.

"It wasn't his news to tell. Besides if you had not had me blocked or yelled at me at Daphne and Simon's baby shower, I would have been able to tell you," Kate said. She hated how much hurt she was letting seep through her tone but it was important to be honest.

"I'm sorry Kate," Anthony said looking at her in the eyes for the first time since he entered.

Kate could not hold the look for long "It's fine. You know now and that is all that matters,"

Anthony sighed but nodded "Yes, we can decide what is going to happen next,"

Kate was actually prepared for this part of the conversation and finally slid the folder she was holding across the table to him "Yes about that, I have a few things you should look over,"

"What is this?" he asked.

"Well, they are tabbed for the mental organisation but the green tab represents the Co-parenting Agreement, the red tab represents the Termination of Parental Rights document, the yellow one represents my medical history since beginning the pregnancy and the pocket at the back has all the sonograms pictures from each visit,"

"Termination of parental rights?" Anthony asked wide-eyed.

Kate sighed "Anthony I know you have been through a lot over the last couple of months, and having a child will only make any mental stresses you have ten times worse. Not a lot of people know about my pregnancy and those that do either think it is Ryan, my ex, or I just went down to the sperm bank. Those that know you are the father are family so they would never reveal the information but we can make them sign an NDA just in case. There is no reason for you to walk out of this office with any more obligations than you already have. You can find an agreeable lady, get married and she can birth the next Viscount Bridgerton. Nothing has to change,"

"Kate, what are you saying? Why would I not want to be in my child's life?"

"Well, that's the thing. If you terminate your parental rights, it wouldn't be your child. Legally," Kate added the last part quietly.

"But it is my child and I would know that," Kate shrugged her shoulders "I am doing better Kate. I don't know what Simon or Ben has told you but I am putting in the work," Anthony looked at her and his looked wide.

Kate sighed "I know and I am happy you are doing well but its not just that..."

Anthony's eyes widened "It's about my mother, isn't it? What did she say to you?"

Kate was taken aback for a second. Anthony being suspicious of his mother's behaviour was not something she was used to "She didn't say anything but Anthony I am not a fool. I know how things work in the peerage. I know how it works in your world. Well, I know enough now,"

"I can protect you," Anthony said and Kate scoffed. She didn't mean to but she had heard those promises from him before.

"As much as I would like to believe that, it's not just about me anymore. I have to do what I have to do to protect my half-Indian baby," Kate said standing up.

"Kate, I'm learning a lot about racial dynamics. I have picked books and have done the work at progressive organisations-"

"That's great Anthony truly but what about your family?" Kate said.

"What if I told you that you needed to cut the majority of your extended family and friends out of your life would you be able to do that?" Kate sighed "This is off-topic. Just take the folder home and think over all that we have discussed today,"

Anthony stood up "Kate, I feel like we need to discuss this further,"

"Anthony I think you need to sit with this information for a little bit longer before making any decisions. Talk to your family or a therapist and make a decision not just on some misguided guilt but on whether you want to be a father and all that would entail,"

There was a knock at the door and Clara came in with the ginger tea to help soothe her upset stomach. Clara set the placement for the tea, Kate thanked her and she left quickly.

"There is a tab with my medical history that has a calendar for all my visits, I have a couple of weeks until my next appointment. I think that should give you some time to decide how you feel about the whole thing,"

Anthony sighed and stood up "This isn't how I thought this visit would go,"

"Nothing really goes the way we want them to these days," when Anthony did not respond Kate led him to the door "Goodbye Anthony,"

Before Anthony walked through the door he turned to Kate "Do you think I would make a good father?"

Kate was taken aback but answered honestly "Yes. I do,"

That seemed to calm him down enough to leave and Kate sunk into the couch closest to the door. His scent lingered in the air and Kate was shocked at how much it calmed her stomach.

---

Past:

Anthony was in agony. It had only been two weeks since he had seen Kate after the benefit. She was not returning his calls or messages. So he would come every two days and leave flowers at the Sharma home. He was delivering them himself in hopes of getting a glimpse of Kate. He didn't know what he would say exactly but just knew he wanted her back.

Anthony walked up the stairs to the Sharma's flat and just when he was about to leave the vase of Tulips at the door, Edwina opened the door.

Edwina looked at him so much ire, he could not imagine someone like her ever hating anyone and yet here she was "Can't take a hint, can you?" she asked with her arms folded.

"Edwina, get back inside," Mary Sharma called to her and Edwina went back inside.

"Hello Mary, I was hoping I could-"

"Speak to Kate? Over my dead body," Mary said and Anthony tensed. Before Anthony could speak again Mary held her hand up to stop him "I wanted to speak with you myself. Kate has been throwing away your flowers and Edwina is allergic so stop this already,"

She said it so calmly Anthony did not reply immediately "I am sorry but I need your daughter to know I am sorry,"

"What are you sorry for Anthony for her being disrespected or us?" Mary asked and Anthony did not know how to reply so she continued "I was rooting for you. I actually understand what it is like to break peerage rules and fall in love with someone outside of your normal society," Then Mary levelled him with a stare and said "Then again I'm sure you know all about that given your investigations into our family,"

"Mary I am so sorry,"

"It's Mrs Sharma to you. Milan is Kate's father okay, that abusive asshole drove his wife out of town and when Milan and Citra were trying to get married he claimed she had run off. Just to save face,"

"Mrs Sharma you don't have to -"

"Only I do. I have to because I had to explain the same thing to Kate. I had to explain something that was so ugly to my daughter, something her father wanted to be buried with him. I had to go against his wishes because your family don't have common courtesy," Anthony hung his head in shame and guilt "We both grew up in the peerage. Our family are colonising rapists and pillagers but we should be proud, while those of immigrant histories have to be ashamed. That night two weeks ago was the first time I was ever thankful Milan was dead because if his daughter's emotional state didn't kill him, he would've killed you. So take this as the final mercy the Sharma family is going to give you and leave us alone,"

Mary went back into the flat and left Anthony on the doorstep feeling dejected.

2) She was impressed by his preparedness. From the moment Anthony agreed to these sessions with Kate, he had researched how to perform piano lessons. He even swallowed his pride to visit his very pregnant sister, Daphne to get a look at how she structured her lesson plans. Daphne tried not to pry into how he got himself in the situation but his guess was Ben would tell her anyway. When Anthony finally got done apologising to Kate about being late he sat her down and went through the lesson plan he had for her for each session. Kate complimented him on his thoroughness and Anthony could not help but preen at the compliment. Kate smiled brightly at him and Anthony's breath caught, she was stunning but before he could return the compliment he had to take a call from his mother about Hyacinth possibly leaving her favourite pointe shoes at his place.

3) She had a dog. A chubby corgi named Newton. For the majority of this second lesson, she has been distracted as she had to bring him along because no one could watch him. Kate had been a bit closed off with him but he thought he was making progress in their first session until she brought Newton along. Kate proclaimed Newton to be a great judge of character so even though Anthony tried to endear himself to the dog (not puppy, Anthony refused to call such a huge animal a puppy), Newton had other ideas and began growling. Kate suggested he move his hand away and Kate tried to set him up a nice playpen in the corner of the studio for him to roam.

All in all the lesson started strange but Anthony thought he was making good progress. The main problem he had was Kate was bad really bad. I mean in her defence she has just started but Anthony did not know he was going to have to sit through so much muddling of piano keys until they could sit together at a bench a play a nice orchestral tune as a duet.

At this point, Kate was just making noise and even the ever-loyal Newton walked away to get some peace. Well, at least that is what Anthony thinks.

--

Kate:

Kate was halfway through her second lesson with Anthony and she was trying hard not to quit right then and there. The only thing keeping her at this damned bench and attempting a simple tune with the posture and technique Anthony had taught her was that she was not a quitter. A part of her felt like maybe she should try a little quitting. Even her baby Newton went off to another room because of the dreadful noises she was making.

Kate was convinced Anthony was a bit of a flirt from her first interaction with him but not she was straight convinced he was a womaniser. In her first lesson, she saw him texting a woman named Hy a dozen times and even had to leave the room to take a call from a woman named Violet.

Today she entered the lesson with Anthony on the phone with a woman named Siena and even though Kate tried not to listen to the conversation it was very clear that she wanted more from him than he was willing to provide. He was a womaniser and even though Kate was trying hard not to judge she could not help feeling disappointed by his behaviour. She had no right to be and it was strange feeling uncomfortable with the idea that she was in such proximity with a guy like him.

Anthony was so good at making her feel like she was the most important person during her lessons sometimes and there are moments when she is sure he is attracted to her but she cannot bring herself to think about whether she feels the same way.

Anthony came back into the room as Kate was trying to repeat some of the tunes to the nursery rhyme he was teaching her "That doesn't sound too bad. But I like your technique, you seem to have really good finger placement,"

Kate shivered "You keep talking about technique and finger placement and the minute I leave it goes right out of my head,"

"Honestly, I felt the same way when I first started learning the piano as well,"

"How did you get better?"

"My father he- he bought a piano for the house and he would talk to me while I played, eventually I stopped getting so nervous about sounding bad and the technique became like muscle memory," Anthony said with a bit of a far-off look on his face.

"Is that why you became an instructor?" Kate asked.

"No, I became an instructor for you," Kate held her breath, Anthony coughed and said "I mean people like you, who have a real and true interest in learning musical instruments,"

"That's sweet. I think. I'm sure your dad would be proud of you," Kate said as she got up to stretch her legs. Kate walked around and then she realised Anthony had not spoken in a while "Anthony, is everything okay?" she asked as he looked like he was shaken as he sat on the piano bench facing her.

He looked at her strangely and Kate's heart constricted before he said "That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me,"

"Oh,"

"Yeah," Anthony got up and walked towards her, Kate held her breath as Anthony had a determined look in his eyes "Kate, I need to tell you-"

But before he could get the words out his phone started to ring and Kate saw the name and saw Siena. Anthony looked embarrassed and then said "I'm sorry I have to take this,"

"It's chilled, it is the weekend and I am sure you have way more important things to do. So I will just get Newton and get going," Kate said as she made to look around the studio space for her corgi.

The phone stopped ringing but Kate continued looking for Newton so she could get out of there ASAP. She started calling for him when she felt a hand grip her arm "Kate I-" but then his phone started ringing again and at this point, Kate could not stop herself from sighing. Anthony was an unavailable man and Kate was making a mistake by seeing their interactions as anything other than what they were. He was a kind and helpful teacher and Kate needed to keep it like that.

"You should get that," Kate said a little softer and Newton saved her from any kind of game Anthony might have thrown her way by barking loudly for her.

Kate got out of there as soon as possible. Kate googled Anthony when she got home. She saw the articles of him stumbling out of bars and the tempestuous relationship with a prolific opera singer Siena Russo. Siena was a stunner, with obvious sex appeal and a unique face. Kate sighed. Her third free lesson with Anthony was next week Saturday and she was going to suggest that they don't continue their sessions. It was not even his fault, she was attracted to him and she was finally able to admit that to herself. If she was younger, she would have taken the opportunity to be one of the many purely because she liked the idea of being reckless especially during those dark times after her father's death. But Kate was not in her early twenties anymore and she was only looking for something serious now and again Anthony was a piano teacher not a guy on a dating app.

----

In Common:

"We got way too much in common If I'm being honest with you We got way too much in common Since I'm being honest with you"

Anthony:

Kate: 'Hey, can we move our lesson on Saturday to Sunday? Let me know if you have other bookings but I have plans.' Anthony: 'Sure. What are you up to hot afternoon date?' Kate: 'How did you know? :)'

...

Anthony: 'Saturday afternoon is scheduled to have great weather so I'm sure anyone would love to have a nice date outside.' Kate: 'I guess you would know about that more than me.' Anthony: 'What do you mean by that?'

...

Kate: 'Nothing really. Most men are the ones planning the dates.' Anthony: 'I guess that is true.'

...

Anthony: 'I guess I will see you Sunday.' Kate: 'See you.'

It was official Kate Sharma was an enigma and Anthony was torn. The second lesson they had together was so good. Kate was not yet a good player but she completely pulled the rug from underneath him with the compliment she gave him. He did not even understand why he told her about his father, it was such a tough time and a sensitive topic. She looked at him with such sincerity, that he felt safe. It made sense then that he felt compelled to tell her the truth about their lessons. Her third lesson was coming up and Anthony could not take the possibility of Kate paying him from then onwards. If that happened it would make him feel so gross.

He had to tell Kate the truth in their upcoming lesson. Saturday was supposed to have great weather for once and Anthony thought he would be able to encourage Kate to go outside with him and get a coffee before explaining the situation. It's not like he couldn't still be her instructor and her boyfriend, right?

Anthony sighed. It seems like he was not the only one who thought of taking Kate out then but Anthony convinced himself that it could be anything from a date to lunch with the girls. Anthony knew that Daphne did that sometimes, although Kate did not give off the same vibes as Daphne, she was more like his other sister Eloise.

Resolute to the situation he was in Anthony checked the weather for Sunday and saw that it was going to be raining with a possibility of a storm but Anthony doubted the weather would make such a drastic change within a day.

--

Kate:

She wasn't even sure how she ended up in this position. Cradled by Anthony, on the floor, next to the piano.

When she arrived for her third lesson, Kate was anxious, she had not checked the weather for Sunday and it did not look good. She hoped it would get better while she was in her lesson but it only got darker, so dark that despite it being 3 pm Anthony switched on the studio lights so he and Kate could see better. Kate tried to poke fun at his old eyes but it did not help to ease the tension.

The more tense she became the more she missed the notes. The more she missed the notes the more anxious she became, until Anthony, probably to put himself out of the miserable set she was playing, asked if she wanted to take a break and maybe grab tea at the cafe across the street.

Kate was eager to get out of her own head so she agreed but by the time they had put on their coats and made it to the street, it had begun to rain. 

The rest is a bit hazy but she remembers being unable to move as she saw lightning and heard thunder. She thinks Anthony was trying to speak to her but she does not remember what she said. Kate's legs felt like jello and she remembers Anthony walking her back in the studio.

She must have collapsed because as soon as Kate's mind was sharp again she was cradled against Anthony who was holding her.

Kate made to move out of his arms but Anthony tightened his hold "Oh my goodness. I'm so sorry, Anthony,"

"It's okay. I hope you are okay now," Anthony said searching her eyes but again not moving his arm or changing positions.

"I am. I am not good with storms," She said quietly while looking down.

"I figured. I should not have suggested we leave," He said.

"It's not your fault. Usually, I am a lot better at looking at the weather but I was a bit distracted yesterday, I didn't think to check," Kate said finally getting out of Anthony's arms. Despite dropping his arms, he still made no move to get up.

"A good date can do that," He said.

"Date? It wasn't a date," She said distractedly as she looked around the studio for her things.

"You said you had plans yesterday," He said.

Kate sighed. She was not looking at him and she thought it better to rip the bandaid off "It was my father's birthday yesterday. Me and my family went to visit his grave,"

"Oh jeez, Kate I'm so-"

"Please. Please don't say you are sorry. I'm barely containing my embarrassment enough as it is, I cannot take your pity too," she said trying not to sound sad.

"Kate, please look at me,"

Kate slowly turned and as she looked at him, on the floor, with his legs splayed out in front of him, she finally looked at his face. Then she saw it, resolution and sadness. It was then that she remembered what else she had read about Anthony and his family, about how the patriarch Edmund had died leaving behind his wife and eight children, the eldest Anthony being only 18 years of age.

Kate sighed and went to sit next to Anthony on the floor, mirroring his position "Dead daddy club member?"

"A member since 2012. How about you?"

"2019,"

He sighed "That's... recent. If it helps you seem well-adjusted. How do you do it?"

Kate thought he was being sarcastic considering he was just privy to a pretty bad panic attack but as she looked into his deep brown eyes, all she could see was sincerity "Well, I didn't handle it well at first. I went through a pretty slutty stage for a while. Something tells me you would know a thing or two about that...?"

Anthony visibly winced "Yeah those are not my best moments. I know being slutty did not help,"

"It helped me. I just ran out of time. 2020 pandemic lockdown and all that," Anthony chuckled beside her and she continued "Nah, sitting with nothing but my thoughts for a good couple of months really helped me reevaluate. I moved back home and wallowed a bit. It was not something I ever really let myself do cause I was always so busy,"

"I understand that. I'm the eldest in my family and I had to get everything together after my dad's death. You would think having all this money would ease the load but instead, the vultures started to circle. So many 'friends' of my dad were making offers for everything from my family homes to the business and even that there piano," Anthony motioned towards the piano behind them.

"That's horrible,"

"Yeah anyway, that's why I became a bit of a hard ass. Made sure no one could take advantage of me or my family,"

"I respect that. Although I don't really see hard ass when I look at you,"

"What?" Anthony looked so taken aback by her statement he fully turned his body towards her.

"You're actually such a soft-spoken teacher. I honestly felt like I could learn a thing or two from you," Kate said.

Anthony raised an eyebrow but said nothing.

Eventually, Kate left the studio with a promise to reschedule their third lesson as not much was taught or learnt and even though Kate insisted on paying Anthony said she could consider it the "dead daddy discount" and Kate got a bit of a chuckle out of it. 

"Hi gran. What's all this about?" Anthony asked.

"Kate, I've only known you a short time, but it's clear you're a very smart woman," Lady Ledger spoke and Kate smiled up at Anthony and then at her "But, I will not permit you to ruin my grandson with your ambition,"

"Gran!" Anthony exclaimed. Anthony held her hand a little stronger.

"I'm sorry to tell you but Kate has been lying to us about her family and her father," Violet spoke now. Kate could finally see the resemblance between Violet and her mother.

"What? What are you talking about?" Kate asked.

"I hired a private investigator to look into her past," "Mother don't you dare," Anthony interrupted but Violet continued, "She said her father passed away 3 years ago from cancer but that's not true,"

"What?" "Mum stop!" Kate and Anthony interjected but Violet continued undeterred.

This time speaking directly to Kate "Your birth mother's husband is very much alive. During her marriage, she cheated on him and ran away with a mechanic, and before she could be located, as she was pregnant, she ran away to England,"

Kate could barely hear the words Violet was saying "No. No. No," Kate for the first time in her life had no words.

Kate tried to take the pages from Violet who was trying to hand them off to Anthony and took a look at them. She saw the marriage certificate, the missing person's report even the attempt to dissolve the marriage all with her birth mother's name on them. Kate could barely breathe.

Violet took the pages from Kate with little fuss and tried to hand them to Anthony "It's all right here,"

Anthony looked furious "You had no right!"

"We had every right!" Violet exclaimed.

"No, you did not!" Anthony said.

"Do you know what kind of scandal this would have caused for Kate to be hiding something like this?" Violet asked Anthony.

Kate was now just feeling so small. She did not care about Violet or Lady Ledger anymore she looked up at Anthony "I didn't know,"

Anthony looked at her in the eyes and then back at his mother with fury. Before he could say anything though Violet spoke "We cannot be linked to this sort of family,"

Kate was now tearing up. It reminded her of her childhood when she had been scolded by her parents, she was both ashamed and embarrassed. She wished the ground would swallow her whole. She glanced at Lady Ledger and she had a smug smile on her face. Kate felt like she was going to be sick for the second time that day.

Violet spoke "Anthony we could not even be sure her father is her actual father. Can you imagine that? The scandal of it all!"

Kate took a step back while Anthony and his mother went back and forth yelling at each other. Kate thought about all the times people would say she and Edwina looked nothing alike. It stung because Edwina was stunning but Kate always thought that she just took after her mother's side of the family. It hurt Kate in a spot of her heart that she had spent her whole life guarding so strongly: her family.

"Mother I do not care what you think about her family. I love her!" Anthony said.

Violet tried to grab his hand and said "In our lives, family is everything, Anthony! How can you be with someone who might have been keeping this from you?"

"Cause I already knew!" Anthony hollered.

"What?" Kate said and Anthony looked at her. 

"Don't worry Kate, I already knew about all of this before this ambush," Anthony said in a soothing voice.

Anthony took a step towards her but she took a step back "Why did you know all of this before I even did?"

Anthony looked confused "Kate I do research on most people in my life,"

"You do realise how messed up that is, right? Were you just gonna hold that information about me forever? At what point in the 8 months we have been dating do you think of telling me about this? You have no right to even be mad at your mother then!" Kate exclaimed. Anthony tried to respond but Kate held her hand up and looked towards Violet "You don't have to worry about me messing up your family reputation Lady Bridgerton, because I want absolutely nothing to do with your family,"

Kate hated feeling small, she hated people who tried to drive a wedge with her family. She had spent years feeling insecure with Mary as a stepmother especially after Edwina was born but Mary had treated her like nothing less than a daughter even after her father died. Mary mourned for a good month and then resumed getting her Edwina prepared for schooling. Reminding Kate to eat while she studied, called her and always tried to keep her close. Mary had run away from her family so Kate understood that her mother just wanted to keep the family she had left close. Mary was not the best at organisation and planning but Kate loved it and was good at it so she stepped up. Kate always had at least one loving parent in her life and she was not going to let Violet & Anthony Bridgerton take that away from her.

Kate ran away from the scene. If you asked her how she ended up being escorted out of the party by Simon then you would not get a straight answer. There was a ringing in her ears, a lot of shuffling and bumping into people and then she was in a car with Simon holding her as she cried.

----

Present:

Kate loved 'Nailed It' on Netflix. The premise was simple: Under a time limit, amateur bakers have to recreate often elaborate cakes to the satisfaction of the judges. It was simple enough that Kate could mindlessly watch while she ate popcorn for dinner cuddling her corgi puppy Newton. Popcorn was not Kate's usual choice of meal but between her long schedule and her inability to open her spice cupboards without getting an overwhelming sense of nausea, popcorn had to do.

Living alone was not something Kate ever sought. She loved being with her family or friends in uni. The only time she ever thought about living with someone else was when she was with Anthony so it came as a shock to everyone when she decided to move out after her breakup. There was something about living at home that felt claustrophobic, between Mary and Edwina's knowing and pitying eyes and the constant reminders of not just Anthony but other people she had lost, Kate had spoken with her therapist and decided that maybe a change of scenery was what she needed.

She started looking for flats in and around the area, and then she went to viewings but it wasn't until 'Moving Day' did it all feel real. Kate remembers how mad Edwina had been about her decision and on that day she had refused to come out of her room because she felt like Kate was making a drastic change in their lives. Kate was sad but Edwina eventually peeked out to give her a goodbye hug. It wasn't until she went to leave that she saw the sadness in Mary's eyes and even though she was able to make until she got to her place. She broke down. It was supposed to be the Sharma women vs. The world and Kate felt like she was letting them down and she felt guilty.

2 weeks later Kate was feeling a bit better about her new normal when Mary showed up at her door with a sad smile, Butter Chicken (because it was one of the only dishes she knew) and a corgi puppy. Mary explained that they weren't mad that she had gotten her own place, they were sad because they felt like she was running away from them and she did not think it was a good idea for Kate to be alone so soon after her breakup. Kate explained herself and that it was not an easy decision for her either and Mary agreed so in an effort to calm Mary's mind and for Kate to still have company she adopted a corgi puppy for her. Kate named him Newton, her father would have loved that, if he ever let her and Edwina get a dog that is.

Kate was hesitant about taking care of a dog but Newton was so cute at times it caused a deep yearning in her she tried to ignore. When her therapist suggested she join dog groups online for advice or socialising, Kate was hesitant but her therapist reminded her about being more social and finding avenues to be fulfilled outside of work and her family. Kate joined a dog group that met at different local parks and from the suggestion of one of the other dog owners, she joined other Facebook groups like one for painting, horseriding and swimming.

Kate had made quite a few friends through the activities and was surprised at her popularity among young active men. It turns out that once she opened her horizons outside her field there were nice and like-minded men. She went out with a few, some bad, some good, some good in one aspect only (Pav was overall enthusiastic but not that bright) and then there was Ryan Bagwell. 

Ryan was not Kate's usual type, he was relaxed, artistic and spontaneous. He was one of the volunteer instructors for the painting group and Kate felt a bit turned off by it at first that was until he showed her what he did. He was an architect, more alternative than the average architect but he also owned galleries. It was through him that Kate had her first run-in with a Bridgerton since the breakup. Benedict was there viewing Henry's work (Kate's fault for not getting Henry's last name) and they bumped into each other. The interaction was stilted but when Kate mentioned she was with her boyfriend Ryan, Ben relaxed and said Anthony was also seeing someone. It hurt but only for a moment. Benedict tried to exchange numbers but Kate was not interested and he was nice enough to leave it at that.

It was after the show that Kate had to tell Ryan about her history with the Bridgertons. Ryan was understanding and told her that he liked her and wanted to be in it with her for the long haul so Kate was happy. Edwina loved him and Mary found him interesting so it seemed pretty simple. For once her dating life was stable. Her and Ryan would go out dancing and hiking and Kate had never felt more alive than when she was with him. He was good about her friendship with Simon he also encouraged her to make other friends and that is how she reconnected with Sophie from Law school.

So to have to break up with Ryan was not easy. She did not want to lead him on and things in her life were not going to slow down any time soon. She told him that she did not want to ask him to wait for her to get her life in order and he understood. He told her he was always going to be here for her and told her to not feel weird about attending painting classes because he would still like to see her. I mean they were friends before they dated so it was easy to slip back into it. Still, Kate wondered how Ryan had gotten so well-adjusted and if she could steal his personality.

--

So it was a Thursday night and Kate was on her couch cuddling with Newton and eating popcorn when she heard thundering knocking on her door. Kate checked her phone and saw the time (10.30 PM) but also that no one had called or texted her in the past few hours that would warrant such urgent knocking and that's when the knocker spoke.

"Sharma, open the damn door! I know you are in there!" It was Simon.

Kate went to open the door and Simon walked in aggressively "How nice of you to drop by unannounced Si," Kate closed the door behind him.

Simon had sat at her kitchen island but was turned to her with a scowl "Don't treat me like an acquaintance, you know why I'm here,"

Kate's blood froze "Who told you?"

"What do you mean who told me? You didn't think I would notice you haven't been working at the firm for the last month?" Simon asked.

Kate visibly relaxed and went to get some wine glasses and a bottle, she placed the glass in front of Simon and poured him a bit and then one into her glass but she did not move to drink it "I'm sorry it has been a chaotic time, I meant to tell you the last time I saw you but things were tense after the news around Anthony. I forgot,"

Simon took a sip from his glass and then said "I need this. Between Daphne and the baby and the mess with you and the Bridgertons, I have not had a good moment's rest,"

Kate could not help her curiosity "What's going on with the Bridgertons?" Simon looked at her with a look that said 'Do you truly want to know?' and she continued "Oh please, you so came over here to vent,"

Simon sighed "Things have been a bit messy. Daphne and Benedict have tried to step up and take over some of the responsibilities that Anthony was dealing with but it is becoming clearer and clearer that the family had no clue of what it took to maintain them," Simon sighed.

Kate scoffed "They are a smart brood they will get it eventually,"

"Well eventually cannot wait. Benedict has been so stressed out that he spaced and missed the payment for Eloise's second semester at uni and she almost lost her spot. Luckily, she decided to take it over because Ben then ran into issues when Colin almost got arrested in the Phillippines for smuggling drugs luckily the ambassador in Manila is a friend of Violet's and was able to get the prescription we faxed over for the drug to the police. It has been one thing after another, there are too many Bridgertons and not enough hands. It's stressing a very pregnant Daphne out, which is stressing me out," Simon took a rather large sip of wine after his rant.

"I'm sure you guys will get a handle on it. I feel bad for Ben, handling the family like this was not something he ever thought he would do..." she added the next part in quieter "...or even wanted to do," 

Simon eyed her oddly at her statement "Yes... Well, I'm tired and I need you right now," the last part came out as a bit of a whine.

Kate reached across the table and grabbed Simon's hand "I'm here if you want to talk,"

"That's not what you said last time we spoke,"

Kate straightened up her position and sighed "I was tired and overwhelmed. I'm feeling a lot better about it now. You are my friend and you made me godmother to that little Basset baby and I'm not going to let you down," she said with a smile.

He returned her smile "How does Ryan feel about all of this? Are you guys still taking that break?"

Kate sighed. How much was she going to tell Simon? Honesty is the best policy "I'm pregnant,"

For about 10 seconds all you could hear was the mindless chatter of the TV in the background until Simon reawakened and asked "It's Ryans, right?"

Kate was taken aback "Why did you ask me like that?"

"Is it Benedicts?" Simon asked in such a hushed tone Kate grew concerned.

At first, she thought he said the wrong name but then she looked at his face and realised he was serious and began to laugh.

Simon stood up and exclaimed "Kate this is not a laughing matter,"

Kate said wiping her eyes "Except it kind of is," 

"How far along are you?"

Kate did not answer so Simon came around the kitchen island and lifted her shirt "Jeez Simon, that is a violation. You don't go around lifting women's shirts,"

"You do when they are your friend and they refuse to answer straightforward questions,"

"I was going to answer you if you had given me the chance. I'm about 4 months," Kate said.

Simon took Kate's wine glass and the bottle of wine to the other side of the island and finished all of Kate's glass, immediately pouring another glass and said "Well, you are barely showing,"

"Yeah, small pregnant bellies run in the family," Kate said with a shrug.

"You never answered my question though. Are you and Ryan back on?" Simon asked all his attention on her.

"Well, no actually we broke up," Simon's eyes widened and took a sip of wine but a thought popped into Kate's head and she asked, "Wait, why did you think the father could be Benedict?"

Simon's eyes widened but he sighed and spoke "Well, I've seen how close you guys have been since he had that art show. Ryan might have expressed concern that Benedict might be a problem but I shut him down..." Simon took a breath and continued "Then Anthony also expressed he felt you and Benedict are close. Benedict is single and a bit reckless when picking partners,"

"Hey, I liked Henry and seriously Simon, that's it? That sounds like you're slut-shaming Ben which is rich coming from you and Anthony," Kate said incredulously.

"That's what I thought too until after the baby shower," Simon said with a shrug.

"What happened after the baby shower?" Kate asked.

"I saw you leave with Ben, Kate. After you told me about taking a break with Ryan, what else was I supposed to think?"

"That I got pregnant with my ex-boyfriend's brother's baby? What do you think of me?" Kate said with what she hoped was massive amounts of sarcasm.

"You forget that I was the one who picked you up after 2 one-night stands," Simon said gesturing.

"That was months ago before I even met Ryan," Kate said incredulously.

"The night of the baby shower Ben and Anthony got it a huge fight. More blows were exchanged than that night Ant caught me with Daph. Ben told Anthony that he was ashamed of him,"

Kate's heart constricted as she sighed "That's not good. The last thing I wanted was to come between them,"

"Well, the week after that, we got the news of Anthony being in the hospital so it's not been easy,"

Kate covered her face with her hands, she needed to speak to Ben soon "Ben only helped me because he knew I was pregnant already," She sighed and then closed her eyes before saying "He knew the baby was Anthony's..." Simon looked shocked and ready to speak but she continued "That's why I took Anthony aside to speak to him at the shower, he had been ignoring my calls. Ben told me I had to tell him but then Anthony yelled at me so terribly and Ben heard so he took me home and comforted me. He's more like a brother to me, like you,"

"When did this happen, Kate?"

"I just said at your baby shower," Kate answered.

"What?! Did you get pregnancy brain? I meant when did you and Anthony hook up?"

"Hook up? Grow up," Kate said as she rolled her eyes but she continued when Simon gave her a stern look "During your engagement, me and Anthony realised we could not ignore each other forever so we agreed to be friendly,"

Simon scoffed "You two only have two gears: at each other's throats or madly in love. No in-between,"

"Yes well, Ryan noticed that as well and that's when we decided to take a break. When you guys were coming back from your honeymoon Anthony and I thought it would be a good idea to host a lunch for the day you got back so we met up and well one thing led to another and we ended up staying in his bedroom for most of the day," Simon took a healthy sip of wine and she continued "Ben caught me in his apartment later in the day so when Ben, Anthony and I got together to organise your baby shower, he saw me throwing up and he put two and two together,"

Simon took a few seconds to ingest all she had told him and then asked "So I'm going to guess you are keeping it?"

Kate nodded and Simon stood up and came around the kitchen island to embrace her. She was not sure if it was pregnancy hormones but she got teary-eyed.

"Thanks, Si," Kate patted Simon's back "I'm guessing you are no longer angry with me for ignoring you all this time, huh?"

Simon chuckled "Oh no I am. Only now I'm mad at you for stealing my thunder," Kate giggled and Simon leaned back and said "Congratulations Kate. You'll be a banging mum,"

"Thank you," Kate said definitely crying now.

----

Kate telling Simon about her pregnancy started to make the whole thing real. At this point, more and more people who were not the father were beginning to know.

Before he had left her place last night, in a super expensive Uber, Simon had scolded her for keeping her pregnancy news for as long as she did but Kate had concerns, especially after Anthony's outburst and then hospitalisation. She wanted to visit him but she was afraid if she did then she would blurt it out and the idea of being vulnerable to him like that was unnerving. Her therapist had told her that if she had Anthony's baby she would be tying herself to him and his family for life and that there was no way of escaping it. It was a scary thought.

Kate thought long and hard about it, seeking advice from Sophie on it. Sophie tried to leave her Family Law self at home when advising her. Reminding her that at any point something could make her a single mother and that she should only have the baby if she wanted to be a mother, with Anthony by her side or not. Sophie did sneak it in that Kate should draw up documents to leave her parental rights to her stepmother Mary and Kate asked if she would consider being second after Mary and Sophie hesitated but accepted. It was a gloomy conversation that ended with laughter and tears.

Kate did not want to be one of those women who never allowed their baby's father in their life but Kate could not help but feel hesitance whenever she thought of the Bridgertons and the idea that her child's grandmother was going to be Violet Bridgerton. It was a hard thing to deal with but Simon was right, Kate was 4 months along, and the moment to keep Anthony from the fact was coming to an end.

Kate was not Anthony's mother, she was not going to baby him, she would tell him about the baby and if he wanted to be a part of the child's life then they could do that but if not she felt ready to deal with it on her own. She would set ground rules about his mother and other family members and make it clear through a co-parenting relationship contract on what it meant if he went against it.

When Kate spoke with Simon, Simon was ready to villainize Violet but Kate said there was no point. The contract was all she needed. A long time ago Kate actually forgave Anthony for not knowing any better but forgive and forget were two different things. 

After their day in the bedroom, Anthony had called her to talk and they met at a cafe. Anthony told her he had broken up with Sienna. Anthony thought they would get back together but Kate told him that she was not interested. She was not angry with him anymore but the reality of who he was, was just not something she could easily forget. She emphasised that it was important they remained civil for the sake of their relationships with Simon and Daphne.

Kate thought Anthony might be too fragile to hear the news but Simon informed Kate that Anthony was doing better. At first, Simon did not want to bring up Anthony at all but since Anthony is involved he told her about the progress he had made since he left the hospital.

Anthony had gone no contact with his mother which caused issues because the younger siblings (Francesca, Gregory & Hyacinth) missed him but Daphne had been reassuring them that it was important for Anthony to get better.

Anthony had been seeing a therapist regularly and set up a treatment plan that did not include medication for the time being as they figured out what he needed and what caused his issues.

Anthony had decreased the hours he worked at the company to do other things outside of investments and property development.

Kate was happy for Anthony, she knew better than anyone that bad habits are hard to break.

----

"Come along Katie," Mary said as they walked up the steep road to Anthony's place. Mary was accompanying her to give Anthony the news.

Kate had told Edwina and Mary that she was going to tell Anthony about the baby at breakfast the day before and the whole kitchen had gone silent.

Edwina was of the mind to leave it be but once Kate brought up the fact that Ben and Simon now both knew it was only a matter of time before Anthony did and that would be worse.

Kate made it clear that she was not asking them for permission, she knew that she was opening the door for the Bridgertons to be back in their lives again and Edwina was not a fan. Although she had gotten on with the younger Bridgerton siblings, Edwina felt them and their friends at school to be stuck up and Edwina had never felt comfortable, she was so excited to be graduating from high school soon. So when Edwina heard about the real reason Kate and Anthony had broken up she was far from happy.

Edwina insisted on coming with Kate for backup which Kate found cute considering Edwina was almost a foot shorter than her and, maybe Kate was biased here, but Edwina was too cute to pass for intimidating. If it wasn't for Edwina's exams, she would have come but Edwina then insisted on Mary going with her. To which Mary agreed. Kate told them she could do it on her own but Mary was already making plans to move her shift and Kate had gotten a fresh wave of emotion at the solidarity in the room. It made her wonder if her dad would have been proud.

Any way Kate and Mary made their way to Anthony's place around noon and Mary insisted Kate walk, as Kate had taken a break from her many activities due to the pregnancy.

Kate and Mary stood outside Anthony's gate for a bit before Kate was able to gain enough courage, she saw that a car was parked in the driveway so she pressed the buzzer. The intercom had a bit of static but she thought she heard someone say hello "Hi, it's Kate. I need to speak with you, Anthony. I can leave if you are busy," Kate had to give herself an out, at the end there.

There was static on the intercom and then the gate opened.

Kate and Anthony are led to a room with a patio view of the party. It was a stunning view. On the patio, Kate can see Lady Ledger seated with documents in her hand.

"Hi gran. What's all this about?" Anthony asked.

"Kate, I've only known you a short time, but it's clear you're a very smart woman," Lady Ledger spoke and Kate smiled up at Anthony and then at her "But, I will not permit you to ruin my grandson with your ambition,"

"Gran!" Anthony exclaimed. Anthony held her hand a little stronger.

"I'm sorry to tell you but Kate has been lying to us about her family and her father," Violet spoke now. Kate could finally see the resemblance between Violet and her mother.

"What? What are you talking about?" Kate asked.

"I hired a private investigator to look into her past," "Mother don't you dare," Anthony interrupted but Violet continued, "She said her father passed away 3 years ago from cancer but that's not true,"

"What?" "Mum stop!" Kate and Anthony interjected but Violet continued undeterred.

This time speaking directly to Kate "Your birth mother's husband is very much alive. During her marriage, she cheated on him and ran away with a mechanic, and before she could be located, as she was pregnant, she ran away to England,"

Kate could barely hear the words Violet was saying "No. No. No," Kate for the first time in her life had no words.

Kate tried to take the pages from Violet who was trying to hand them off to Anthony and took a look at them. She saw the marriage certificate, the missing person's report even the attempt to dissolve the marriage all with her birth mother's name on them. Kate could barely breathe.

Violet took the pages from Kate with little fuss and tried to hand them to Anthony "It's all right here,"

Anthony looked furious "You had no right!"

"We had every right!" Violet exclaimed.

"No, you did not!" Anthony said.

"Do you know what kind of scandal this would have caused for Kate to be hiding something like this?" Violet asked Anthony.

Kate was now just feeling so small. She did not care about Violet or Lady Ledger anymore she looked up at Anthony "I didn't know,"

Anthony looked at her in the eyes and then back at his mother with fury. Before he could say anything though Violet spoke "We cannot be linked to this sort of family,"

Kate was now tearing up. It reminded her of her childhood when she had been scolded by her parents, she was both ashamed and embarrassed. She wished the ground would swallow her whole. She glanced at Lady Ledger and she had a smug smile on her face. Kate felt like she was going to be sick for the second time that day.

Violet spoke "Anthony we could not even be sure her father is her actual father. Can you imagine that? The scandal of it all!"

Kate took a step back while Anthony and his mother went back and forth yelling at each other. Kate thought about all the times people would say she and Edwina looked nothing alike. It stung because Edwina was stunning but Kate always thought that she just took after her mother's side of the family. It hurt Kate in a spot of her heart that she had spent her whole life guarding so strongly: her family.

"Mother I do not care what you think about her family. I love her!" Anthony said.

Violet tried to grab his hand and said "In our lives, family is everything, Anthony! How can you be with someone who might have been keeping this from you?"

"Cause I already knew!" Anthony hollered.

"What?" Kate said and Anthony looked at her. 

"Don't worry Kate, I already knew about all of this before this ambush," Anthony said in a soothing voice.

Anthony took a step towards her but she took a step back "Why did you know all of this before I even did?"

Anthony looked confused "Kate I do research on most people in my life,"

"You do realise how messed up that is, right? Were you just gonna hold that information about me forever? At what point in the 8 months we have been dating do you think of telling me about this? You have no right to even be mad at your mother then!" Kate exclaimed. Anthony tried to respond but Kate held her hand up and looked towards Violet "You don't have to worry about me messing up your family reputation Lady Bridgerton, because I want absolutely nothing to do with your family,"

Kate hated feeling small, she hated people who tried to drive a wedge with her family. She had spent years feeling insecure with Mary as a stepmother especially after Edwina was born but Mary had treated her like nothing less than a daughter even after her father died. Mary mourned for a good month and then resumed getting her Edwina prepared for schooling. Reminding Kate to eat while she studied, called her and always tried to keep her close. Mary had run away from her family so Kate understood that her mother just wanted to keep the family she had left close. Mary was not the best at organisation and planning but Kate loved it and was good at it so she stepped up. Kate always had at least one loving parent in her life and she was not going to let Violet & Anthony Bridgerton take that away from her.

Kate ran away from the scene. If you asked her how she ended up being escorted out of the party by Simon then you would not get a straight answer. There was a ringing in her ears, a lot of shuffling and bumping into people and then she was in a car with Simon holding her as she cried.

--

Present:

Kate loved 'Nailed It' on Netflix. The premise was simple: Under a time limit, amateur bakers have to recreate often elaborate cakes to the satisfaction of the judges. It was simple enough that Kate could mindlessly watch while she ate popcorn for dinner cuddling her corgi puppy Newton. Popcorn was not Kate's usual choice of meal but between her long schedule and her inability to open her spice cupboards without getting an overwhelming sense of nausea, popcorn had to do.

Living alone was not something Kate ever sought. She loved being with her family or friends in uni. The only time she ever thought about living with someone else was when she was with Anthony so it came as a shock to everyone when she decided to move out after her breakup with Anthony. There was something about living at home that felt claustrophobic, between Mary and Edwina's knowing and pitying eyes and the constant reminders of not just Anthony but other people she had lost, Kate had spoken with her therapist and decided that maybe a change of scenery was what she needed.

She started looking for flats in and around the area, and then she went to viewings but it wasn't until 'Moving Day' did it all feel real. Kate remembers how mad Edwina had been about her decision and on that day she had refused to come out of her room because she felt like Kate was making a drastic change in their lives. Kate was sad but Edwina eventually peeked out to give her a goodbye hug. It wasn't until she went to leave that she saw the sadness in Mary's eyes and even though she was able to make until she got to her place. She broke down. It was supposed to be the Sharma women vs. The world and Kate felt like she was letting them down and she felt guilty.

2 weeks later Kate was feeling a bit better about her new normal when Mary showed up at her door with a sad smile, Butter Chicken (because it was one of the only Indian recipes she knew) and a corgi puppy. Mary explained that they weren't mad that was getting her own place, they were sad because they felt like she was running away from them and she did not think it was a good idea for Kate to be alone so soon after her breakup. Kate explained herself and that it was not an easy decision for her either and Mary agreed so in an effort to calm Mary's mind and for Kate to still have company she adopted a corgi puppy for her. Kate named him Newton, her father would have loved that, if he ever let her and Edwina get a dog.

Kate was hesitant about taking care of a dog but Newton was so cute at times it caused a deep yearning in her she tried to ignore. When her therapist suggests she join dog groups online for advice or socialising, Kate is hesitant but her therapist reminds her about being more social and finding avenues to be fulfilled. Kate joins a dog group that meets at local parks and from the suggestion of one of the other dog owners, she joins other Facebook groups like one for painting, horseriding and swimming.

Another part of Kate's risk-taking decisions was online dating and finally joining those Facebook groups for activities she enjoyed like painting, horseriding and swimming. Kate had made quite a few friends through the activities and was surprised at her popularity among young active men. It turns out that once she opened her horizons there were nice and like-minded men she went out with a few, some bad, some good, some good in one aspect only (Pav was overall enthusiastic but not that bright) and then there was Ryan Bagwell. 

Ryan was not Kate's usual type, he was relaxed, artistic and spontaneous. He was one of the volunteer instructors for the painting group and Kate felt a bit turned off by it at first that was until he showed her what he did. He was an architect, more alternative than the average architect but he also owned galleries. It was through him that Kate had her first run-in with a Bridgerton since the breakup. Benedict was there viewing Henry's work (Kate's fault for not getting Henry's last name) and they bumped into each other. The interaction was stilted but when Kate mentioned she was with her boyfriend Ryan, Ben relaxed and said Anthony was also seeing someone. It hurt but only for a moment. Benedict tried to exchange numbers but Kate was not interested and left it at that.

It was after the show that Kate had to tell Ryan about her history with the Bridgertons. Ryan was understanding and told her that he liked her and wanted to be in it with her for the long haul so Kate was happy. Edwina loved him and Mary found him interesting so it seemed pretty simple. They would go out dancing and hiking and Kate had never felt more alive than when she was with him. He was good about her friendship with Simon he also encouraged her to make other friends and that is how she reconnected with Sophie from Law school.

So to have to break up with Ryan was not easy, he told her he was always going to be here for her and told her to not feel weird about attending painting classes because he would still like to see her and wondered how he had gotten so well-adjusted and if she could steal his personality. She did not want to lead him on and things in her life were not going to slow down any time soon. She told him that she did not want to ask him to wait for her to get her life in order and he understood and they left it at that.

So Kate's on the couch cuddling with Newton and eating popcorn when she hears thundering knocking on her door. Kate checked her phone and saw the time but also that no one had called or texted her in the past few hours that would warrant such urgent knocking and that's when the knocker spoke.

"Sharma, open the damn door! I know you are in there!" It was Simon.

Kate went to open the door and Simon walked in aggressively "How nice of you to drop by unannounced Simon," Kate closed the door behind him.

Simon had sat at her kitchen island but was turned to her with a scowl "Don't treat me like an acquaintance, you know why I'm here,"

Kate's blood froze "Who told you?"

"What do you mean who told me? You don't think I would not notice you haven't been working at the firm for the last month?" Simon asked.

Kate visibly relaxed and went to get some wine glasses and a bottle, she placed the glass in front of Simon and poured him a bit and then one into her glass but she did not move to drink it "I'm sorry it has been a hectic time, I meant to tell you the last time I saw you but things got hectic after the news around Anthony. I forgot,"

Simon took a sip from his glass and then said "I need this. Between Daphne and the baby and the mess with you and the other Bridgertons, I have not had a good moment's rest,"

Kate could not help her curiosity "What's going on with the Bridgertons?" Simon looked at her with a look that said 'Do you truly want to know?' and continued "Oh please, you so came over here to vent,"

Simon sighed "Things have been a bit messy. Daphne and Benedict have tried to step up and take over some of the responsibilities but it is becoming clearer and clearer that the family had no clue of what it took to maintain them,"

Kate scoffed "They are a smart brood they will get it eventually,"

"Well eventually cannot wait. Benedict has been so stressed out that he spaced and missed the payment for Eloise's second semester at uni and she almost lost her spot. Luckily, she decided to take it over because Ben then ran into issues when Colin almost got arrested in the Phillippines for smuggling drugs luckily the ambassador in Manila is a friend of Violet's and was able to get the prescription we faxed over for the drug to the police. It has been one thing after another, there are too many Bridgertons and not enough hands. It's stressing a very pregnant Daphne out, which is stressing me out," Simon took a rather large sip of wine after his rant.

"I'm sure you guys will get a handle on it. I feel bad for Ben, handling the family like this was not something he ever thought he would do or even wanted to do,"

Simon eyed her oddly at her statement "Yes... Well, I'm tired and I need you right now," the last part came out as a bit of a whine.

Kate reached across the table and grabbed Simon's hand "I'm here if you want to talk,"

"That's not what you said last time we spoke,"

"I was tired and overwhelmed. I'm feeling a lot better about it now. You are my friend and you made me godmother to that little Basset baby and I'm not going to let you down," she said with a smile.

He returned her smile "How does Ryan feel about all of this? Are you guys still taking that break?"

Kate sighed. How much was she going to tell Simon? Honesty is the best policy "I'm pregnant,"

For about 10 seconds all you could hear was the mindless chatter of the TV in the background until Simon reawakened and asked "It's Ryans, right?"

Kate was taken aback "Why did you ask me like that?"

"Is it Benedicts?" Simon asked in such a hushed tone Kate grew concerned.

At first, she thought he said the wrong name but then she looked at his face and realised he was serious and began to laugh.

Simon said standing up from his chair "Kate this is not a laughing matter,"

Kate said wiping her eyes "Except it kind of is," 

"How far along are you?"

Kate did not answer so Simon came around the kitchen island and lifted her shirt "Jeez Simon, violation. You don't go around lifting women's shirts,"

"You do when they are your friend and they did not answer how far along into their pregnancy they are in,"

"I'm around about 4 months," Kate said.

Simon took Kate's wine glass and the bottle of wine to the other side of the island and finished all of Kate's glass, immediately pouring another glass and said "Well, you are barely showing,"

"Yeah, small pregnancy bellies run in the family," Kate said with a shrug.

"You never answered my question though. Are you and Ryan back on?" Simon asked all his attention on her.

"Well, no actually we broke up," Simon's eyes widened and took a sip of wine but a thought popped into Kate's head and she asked, "Wait, why did you think the father could be Benedict?"

Simon looked cornered but he sighed and spoke "Well, I've seen how close you have been since he had that art show. Ryan might have expressed concern that Benedict might be a problem but I shut him down," Simon took a breath and continued "Then Anthony also expressed he felt you and Benedict are close. Benedict is single and a bit reckless when picking partners,"

"Hey, I liked Henry and seriously Simon, that's it? That sounds like slut-shaming which is rich coming from you and Anthony," Kate said incredulously.

"That's what I thought too until after the baby shower," Simon said with a shrug.

"What happened after the baby shower?" Kate asked.

"I saw you leave with Ben, Kate. After you told me about taking a break with Ryan, what else was I supposed to think?"

"That I got pregnant with my ex-boyfriend's brother's baby? What do you think about me?" Kate said with what she hoped was massive amounts of sarcasm.

"You forget that I was the one who picked you up after 2 one-night stands," Simon said gesturing.

"That was months ago before I even met Ryan," Kate said incredulously.

"The night of the baby shower Ben and Anthony got it a huge fight. More blows were exchanged than that he caught me with Daphne. Ben told Anthony that he was ashamed of him,"

Kate sighed "That's not good,"

"No, it is not. The week after that, we got the news of Anthony being in the hospital,"

Kate covered her face with her hands, she needed to speak to Ben soon, she said "Ben only helped me because he knew I was pregnant already," She sighed and then closed her eyes before saying "He knew the baby was Anthony's..." Simon looked shocked and ready to speak but she continued "That's why I took Anthony aside to speak to him at the shower, he had been ignoring my calls. Ben told me I had to tell him but then Anthony yelled at me so terribly and Ben heard so he took me home and comforted me. He's more like a brother to me, like you,"

"When did this happen, Kate?"

"During your engagement, me and Anthony realised we could not ignore each other forever so we agreed to be friendly,"

Simon scoffed "You two only have two gears: at each other's throats or madly in love. No in-between,"

"Yes well, Ryan noticed that as well and that's when we decided to take a break. When you guys were coming back from your honeymoon Anthony and I thought it would be a good idea to host a lunch for the day you got back so we met up and well one thing led to another and we ended up staying in his bedroom for most of the day," Simon took a healthy sip of wine and she continued "Ben caught us later in the day so when Ben, Anthony and I got together to organise your baby shower, he saw me throwing up and he put two and two together,"

Simon took a few seconds to ingest all she had told him and then asked "So I'm going to guess you are keeping it?"

Kate nodded and Simon stood up and came around the kitchen island to embrace her. She was not sure if it was pregnancy hormones but she got teary-eyed.

"Thanks, Si," Kate patted Simon's back "I'm guessing you are no longer angry with me for ignoring you all this time, huh?"

Simon chuckled "Oh no I am. Only now I'm mad at you for stealing my thunder," Kate giggled and Simon leaned back and said "Congratulations Kate. You'll be a banging mum,"

"Thank you," Kate said definitely crying now.

--

Kate telling Simon about her pregnancy started to make the whole thing real. She had not even told Mary or Edwina but it was clear that she needed to tell the father first.

Before he had left her place last night, in a super expensive Uber, Simon had scolded her for keeping her pregnancy news for as long as she did but Kate had concerns, especially after Anthony's outburst and then hospitalisation. She wanted to visit him but she was afraid if she did then she would blurt it out and the idea of being vulnerable to him like that was unnerving. Her therapist had told her that if she had Anthony's baby she would be tying herself to him and his family for life and that there was no way of escaping it.

Kate thought long and hard about it, seeking advice from Sophie on it. Sophie tried to leave her Family Law self at home when advising her. Reminding her that at any point something could make her a single mother and that she should only have the baby if she wanted to be a mother. Sophie did sneak it in that Kate should draw up documents to leave her parental rights to her stepmother Mary and Kate asked if she would consider being second after Mary and Sophie hesitated but accepted. It was a gloomy conversation that ended with laughter and tears.

Kate did not want to be one of those women who never allowed their baby's father in their life but Kate could not help but feel hesitance whenever she thought of the Bridgertons and the idea that her child's grandmother was going to be Violet Bridgerton.

It was a hard thing to deal with but Simon was right, Kate was 4 months along, and the moment to keep Anthony from the fact was coming to an end. Kate was not Anthony's mother, she was not going to baby him, she would tell him about the baby and if he wanted to be a part of the child's life then they could do that but if not she felt ready to deal with it on her own. She would set ground rules about his mother and other family members and make it clear through a co-parenting relationship contract on what it meant if he went against it.

When Kate spoke with Simon, Simon was ready to villainize Violet but Kate said there was no point. The contract was all she needed. A long time ago Kate actually forgave Anthony for not knowing any better but forgive and forget were two different things. 

After their day in the bedroom, Anthony had called her to talk and they met at a cafe. Anthony told her he had broken up with Sienna. Anthony thought they would get back together but Kate told him that she was not interested. She was not angry with him anymore but the reality of who he was, was just not something she could easily forget. She emphasised that it was important they remained civil for the sake of their relationships with Simone and Daphne.

Kate thought Anthony might be too fragile to hear the news but Simon informed Kate that Anthony was doing better. At first, Simon did not want to bring up Anthony at all but since Anthony is involved he told her about the progress he had made since he left the hospital.

Anthony had gone no contact with his mother which caused issues because the younger siblings (Francesca, Gregory & Hyacinth) missed him but Daphne had been reassuring them that it was important for Anthony to get better.

Anthony had been seeing a therapist regularly and set up a treatment plan that did not include medication for the time being as they figured out what he needed and what caused his issues.

Anthony had decreased the hours he worked at the company to do other things outside of investments and property development.

Kate probably should have called Anthony instead of showing up at his place but she feared she would chicken out on the phone and she felt like she needed to see his face when he got the news.

Kate stood outside his gate for a bit before she felt a bit like a lurker, she saw that a car was parked in the driveway so she buzzed. The intercom had a bit of static "Hi, it's Kate. I need to speak with you, Anthony. I can leave if you are busy," Kate had to give herself an out there at the end.

There was static on the intercom and the gate opened.

Kate and Anthony are led to a room with a patio view of the party. It was a stunning view. On the patio, Kate can see Lady Ledger seated with documents in her hand.

"Hi gran. What's all this about?" Anthony asked.

"Kate, I've only known you a short time, but it's clear you're a very smart woman," Lady Ledger spoke and Kate smiled up at Anthony and then at her "But, I will not permit you to ruin my grandson with your ambition,"

"Gran!" Anthony exclaimed. Anthony held her hand a little stronger.

"I'm sorry to tell you but Kate has been lying to us about her family and her father," Violet spoke now. Kate could finally see the resemblance between Violet and her mother.

"What? What are you talking about?" Kate asked.

"I hired a private investigator to look into her past," "Mother don't you dare," Anthony interrupted but Violet continued, "She said her father passed away 3 years ago from cancer but that's not true,"

"What?" "Mum stop!" Kate and Anthony interjected but Violet continued undeterred.

This time speaking directly to Kate "Your birth mother's husband is very much alive. During her marriage, she cheated on him and ran away with the stablehand, and before she could be discovered she ran away to England,"

Kate could barely hear the words Violet was saying "No. No. No," Kate for the first time in her life had no words in defence of herself.

Kate tried to take the pages from Violet who was trying to hand them off to Anthony and took a look at them. She saw the marriage certificate, the missing person's report even the attempt to dissolve the marriage all with her mother's name on them. Kate could barely breathe.

Violet took the pages from Kate with little fuss and tried to hand them to Anthony "It's all right here,"

Anthony looked furious "You had no right!"

"We had every right!" Violet exclaimed.

"No, you did not!" Anthony said.

"Do you know what kind of scandal this would have caused for Kate to be hiding something like this?" Violet asked Anthony.

Kate was now just feeling so small. She did not care about Violet or Lady Ledger anymore she looked up at Anthony "I didn't know,"

Anthony looked at her in the eyes and then back at his mother with fury. Before he could say anything though Violet spoke "We cannot be linked to this sort of family,"

Kate was now tearing up. It reminded her of her childhood when she had been scolded by her parents, she was both ashamed and embarrassed. She wished the ground would swallow her whole. She glanced at Lady Ledger and she had a smug smile on her face. Kate felt like she was going to be sick for the second time that day.

Violet spoke "Anthony we could not even be sure her father is her actual father. Can you imagine that? The scandal of it all!"

Kate took a step back while Anthony and his mother went back and forth yelling at each other. Kate thought about all the times people would say she and Edwina looked nothing alike. It stung because Edwina was stunning but Kate always thought that she just took after her mother's side of the family. It hurt Kate in a spot of her heart that she had spent her whole life guarding so strongly: her family.

"Mother I do not care what you think about her family. I love her!" Anthony said.

Violet tried to grab his hand and said "In our lives, family is everything, Anthony! How can you be with someone who might have been keeping this from you?"

"Cause I already knew!" Anthony hollered.

"What?" Kate said and Anthony looked at her. 

"Don't worry Kate, I already knew about all of this before this ambush," Anthony said in a soothing voice.

Anthony took a step towards her but she took a step back "Why did you know all of this before I even did?"

Anthony looked confused "Kate I do research on most people in my life,"

"You do realise how messed up that is, right? Were you just gonna hold that information about me forever? You have no right to even be mad at your mother then!" Kate exclaimed. Anthony tried to respond but Kate held her hand up and looked towards Violet "You don't have to worry about me messing up your family reputation Lady Bridgerton, because I want absolutely nothing to do with your family,"

Kate walked away. She does not remember how but she remembers trying to leave the party but everyone kept trying to talk to her. It was only after bumping into Simon and when he saw the state she was in did he helped her leave the party quickly.

----

Present:

Kate sat on her couch eating popcorn and watching Nailed It on Netflix. She loved the show mostly because it allowed her to zone out but still get the main gist of what was going on. Living alone was never something Kate thought she would ever be able to do but after her breakup with Anthony, she found her family home to be too claustrophobic. Mary and Edwina with their knowing eyes would always watch her and Kate could not take pity in their eyes so one day she started looking at flats in and around the area, then she went to viewings but it wasn't until moving day did it all feel real. Edwina was mad at her for making such a drastic change in their lives but Mary's look of sadness was what broke her. It was always supposed to be the Sharma women vs. the world and Kate was not adhering to that and she felt guilty.

Two weeks later Mary showed up at her door with a sad smile and a corgi puppy to keep her company. Mary explained that they weren't mad that Kate was getting her own place, they were sad because they felt like she always liked being surrounded by people at they were afraid of her feeling alone so soon after her break-up. Mary and Edwina were right in a way but Kate was trying to be a bit more risky with her life choices. Mary understood so in an effort to allow Kate to still have company she adopted a corgi puppy for her. Kate named him Newton.

Another part of Kate's risk-taking decisions was online dating and finally joining those Facebook groups for activities she enjoyed like painting, horseriding and swimming.

Kate made quite a few friends through the activities and had been on occasional successful dates. None is more persistent than Ryan Bagwell. Ryan was not Kate's usual type, he was relaxed, artistic and mostly spontaneous. Ryan and Kate had been dating for the last 8 months. She had been dating a few guys in between but after two months of dating, Ryan sat her down and told her he saw a proper future with her and wanted to be her boyfriend. Kate liked him and Edwina loved him so it seemed pretty simple. They would go out dancing and hiking and Kate had never felt more alive than when she was with him. He was great to have around and he knew about her past with the Bridgertons but was good about her friendship with Simon he also encouraged her to make other friends and that is how she reconnected with Sophie from Law school and other women in her field and outside of it.

So to have to break up with Ryan was not easy but she had to do it. She did not want to lead him on and things in her life were not going to slow down but speed up. She told him that she did not want to ask him to wait for her to get her life in order and he understood and they left it at that.

So Kate's on the couch cuddling with Newton and eating popcorn when she hears thundering knocking on her door. Kate checked her phone and saw the time but also that no one had called or texted her in the past few hours that would warrant such urgent knocking and that's when the knocker spoke.

"Sharma, open the damn door! I know you are in there!" It was Simon.

Kate went to open the door and Simon walked in aggressively "How nice of you to drop by unannounced Simon," Kate closed the door behind him.

Simon had sat at her kitchen island but was turned to her with a scowl "Don't treat me like an acquaintance, you know why I'm here,"

Kate's blood froze "Who told you?"

"What do you mean who told me? You don't think I would not notice you haven't been working at the firm for the last month?" Simon asked.

Kate visibly relaxed and went to get some wine glasses and a bottle, she placed the glass in front of Simon and poured him a bit and then one into her glass but she did not make it to drink it "I'm sorry it has been a hectic time, I meant to tell you the last time I saw you but things got hectic after the news around Anthony and my breakup. I forgot,"

Simon took a sip from his glass and then said "I need this. Between Daphne and the baby and the mess with you and the other Bridgertons, I have not had a good moment's rest,"

Kate could not help her curiosity "What's going on with the Bridgertons?" Simon looked at her with a look that said 'Do you truly want to know?' and continued "Oh please, you so came over here to vent,"

Simon sighed "Things have been a bit messy but I don't want to bother you about that. Daphne and Benedict have tried to step up and take over some of the responsibilities Anthony had while he recovers but it is becoming clearer and clearer that the family had no clue of what it took to maintain them,"

Kate scoffed "They are a smart brood they will get it eventually,"

"Well eventually cannot wait. Benedict has been so stressed out that he spaced and missed the payment for Eloise's second semester at uni and she almost lost her spot. Luckily, she decided to take it over because Ben then ran into issues when Colin almost got arrested in the Phillippines for trying to bring back something that could be considered a drug luckily the ambassador in Manila is a friend of Violet's and was able to get the perscription we faxed over for the drug to the police. It has been one thing after another, there are too many Bridgertons and not enough hands. It's stressing a very pregnant Daphne out, which is stressing me out," Simon took a rather large sip of wine after his rant.

"I'm sure you guys will get a handle on it. I feel bad for Ben, handling the family like this was never something he seemed to ever think he would ever have to do. Maybe his time with an older more distinguished gentleman like Henry talk him some things,"

Simon eyed her oddly at her statement "Yes... Well, I'm tired and I need you right now,"

Kate reached across the table and grabbed Simon's hand "I'm here if you want to talk,"

"That's not what you said last time we spoke,"

"I was tired and overwhelmed. I'm feeling a lot better about it now. You are my friend and you made me godmother to that little Basset baby and I'm not going to let you down," she said with a smile.

He returned her smile "How does Ryan feel about all of this? Are you guys still taking that break?"

Kate sighed. How much was she going to tell Simon? Honesty is the best policy "I'm pregnant,"

For about 10 seconds all you could hear was the mindless chatter of the TV in the background until Simon reawakened and asked "It's Ryans, right?"

Kate was taken aback "Why did you ask me like?"

"Is it Benedicts?" Simon asked in such a hushed tone Kate grew concerned.

At first, she thought he said the wrong name but then she looked at his face and realised he was serious and began to laugh.

Simon said standing up from his chair "Kate this is not a laughing matter,"

"Except it kind of is," 

"How far along are you?"

Kate did not answer so Simon came around the kitchen island and lifted her shirt "Jeez Simon, violation. You don't go around lifting women's shirts,"

"You do when they are your friend and they did not answer how far along into their pregnancy they are in,"

"I'm around about 4 and a half months," Kate said.

Simon took Kate's wine glass and the bottle of wine to the other side of the island and finished all of Kate's glass, immediately pouring another glass and said "Well, you are barely showing,"

"Yeah, small pregnancy bellies run in the family," Kate said with a shrug.

"You never answered my question though. Are you and Ryan back on?" Simon asked all his attention on her.

"Well, no actually we broke up," Simon's eyes widened and took a sip of wine but a thought popped into Kate's head and she asked, "Wait, why did you think the father could be Benedict?"

Simon looked cornered but he sighed and spoke "Well, I've seen how close you have been since he had that art show. Ryan might have expressed concern that Benedict might be a problem but I shut him down," Simon took a breath and continued "Then Anthony also expressed he felt you and Benedict are close. Benedict is bisexual so it is possible you two could have formed a bond, Ben is not known for having the best mind when it comes to who he picks as sexual partners,"

"Hey, I liked Henry and seriously Simon, that's it? That sounds like slut-shaming which is rich coming from you and Anthony," Kate said incredulously.

"That's what I thought too until after the baby shower," Simon said with a shrug.

"What happened after the baby shower?" Kate asked.

"I saw you leave with Ben, Kate. After you told me about taking a break with Ryan, what else was I supposed to think?"

"That I got pregnant with my ex-boyfriend's brother's baby? How Reddit of me," Kate said with what she hoped was massive amounts of sarcasm.

"The night of the baby shower Ben and Anthony got it a huge fight. More blows were exchanged than when he caught me with Daphne. Ben told Anthony that he was ashamed of him,"

Kate sighed "That's not good,"

"No, it is not. The week after that, we got the news of Anthony being in the hospital,"

Kate covered her face with her hands before she said "Ben only helped me because he knew I was pregnant already," Kate sighed and then closed her eyes before saying "He knew the baby was Anthony's..." Simon looked shocked and ready to speak but she continued "That's why I took Anthony aside to speak to him at the shower, he had been ignoring my calls. Ben told me I had to tell him but then Anthony yelled at me so terribly and Ben heard so he took me home and comforted me. He's more like a brother, like you,"

"When did this happen, Kate?"

"During your engagement, me and Anthony realised we could not ignore each other forever so we tried to be friendly,"

Simon scoffed "You two only have two gears: at each other's throats or madly in love. No in-between,"

"Yes well, Ryan noticed that as well and that's when we decided to take a break. When you guys were coming back from your honeymoon Anthony and I thought it would be a good idea to host a lunch for the day you got back so we met up and well one thing led to another and we ended up staying in his bedroom for most of the day," Simon took a healthy sip of wine and she continued "Ben caught us later in the day so when we came together to organise your baby shower and he saw me throwing up, he put two and two together,"

Simon took a few seconds to ingest all she had told him and then asked "So I'm going to guess you are keeping it?"

Kate nodded and Simon stood up and came around the kitchen island to embrace her Kate smiled and got a bit teary-eyed, she was going to blame it on hormones.

Kate patted Simon's back "I'm guessing you are no longer angry with me for ignoring you all this time, huh?"

Simon chuckled "Oh no I am. Only now I'm mad at you for stealing my thunder," Kate giggled and Simon leaned back and said "Congratulations Kate,"

"Thank you, Simon," Kate said almost crying now.

--

Kate telling Simon about her pregnancy started to make the whole thing real. She had not even told Mary or Edwina and she needed to do so but not before she told Anthony.

Simon had scolded her for keeping it as long as she had but Kate was concerned for a lot of reasons, especially after Anthony's condition months ago. She wanted to visit and tell him but every time she tried there was like a vice around her that just could not let her get close to him again and she chickened out. Kate did not want to be one of those women who never allowed their baby's father in their life but Kate could not help but feel anger whenever she thought of the Bridgertons and the idea that her child's grandmother was going to be Violet Bridgerton.

It was a hard thing to deal with but Simon was right, Kate was 4-5 months along, and the moment to keep Anthony from the truth was coming to an end. Kate was not Anthony's mother, she was not going to baby him, she would tell him about the baby and if he wanted to be a part of the child's life then they could do that but if not she felt ready to deal with it on her own.

One of the principles that Kate learned in therapy was not to villainize people, Violet was terrible to her and Anthony was a coward but they were not monsters they were human. A long time ago Kate forgave Anthony for not knowing any better but forgive and forget were two different things. When Anthony called her to talk and they met at a cafe, when Anthony told her he had broken up with Sienna, Kate was shocked but also not. Anthony thought they would get back together but Kate told him that she was not interested. She was not angry with him anymore but the reality of who he was, was just not something she could not forget.

He seemed upset but resigned and Kate felt terrible, then she was throwing up nonstop and Benedict asked if she was pregnant. She did not know but the minute he brought it up she knew.

Why keep it? She wanted to. She always wanted to be a mother and she thought she would be good at it. Kate thought Anthony might be too fragile to hear the news but Simon informed Kate that Anthony was actually doing better.

At first, Simon did not want to bring up Anthony at all but since Anthony is involved he told her about the progress he had made since he left the hospital.

Anthony had gone no contact with his mother which caused issues because the younger siblings (Francesca, Gregory & Hyacinth) missed him but Daphne had been reassuring them that it was important for Anthony to get better.

Anthony had been seeing a therapist regularly and set up a plan that did not include medication for the time being as they figured out what he needed.

Anthony had decreased the hours he worked at the company to do other things outside of investments and property development.

Kate thought it might be a good idea to call Anthony without showing up at his place but she did not want to lose all the nerve she had built up on her way to see him. Kate stood outside his gate for a bit before she felt a bit like a lurker, she saw that a car was parked in the driveway so she buzzed. The intercom had a bit of static but Kate said her name and that she would leave if Anthony did not want to see her.

Kate tried not to look too deeply into the fact that Daphne hung back with the lone ladies maid provided, leaving her to make idle conversation with Anthony.

He looked like he wanted to say something "Did you sleep well?"

Kate was surprised but then quickly moved to make her face neutral "Yes and no. I feel the storm made it difficult,"

"I'm sorry," Anthony said.

"There is no need to apologise my lord. The accommodations and the care have been well noted and I am content all the same,"

"That is good. Good," He sounded like he was going to say more so Kate turned her head to look at him.

Their eyes met and they both smiled. Kate giggled while he chuckled. The air which was once filled with tension seemed content. She wanted to get used to this but then the hunting party disembarked from their horses to follow the prey on foot.

Kate went to get down from her horse and was about to just hop off but a hand came to help her down. When she looked whose hand it was, she hated that she was disappointed to find the hand belonged to the Baron. Nevertheless, Kate smiled and thanked him as he helped her disembark from the horse. When Kate looked around to find the group she saw the Viscount helping his sister down from the horse. Kate looked away before he could see her but Kate unfortunately made eye contact with the Duchess.

Kate had been on her fair share of hunts since she was a little girl, not common behaviour for a woman so she did not voice her opinion on the dawdling, especially because the chances of rain in England seemed a normal occurrence which meant it would get darker earlier in the day. She huffed her annoyance only to hear a giggle from the Duchess, Daphne beside her.

"My apologies your grace. I am not used to this type of hunt," Kate said to Daphne.

"Please call me Daphne," Daphne said and Kate smiled at her "I know these things tend to be a bit slow but this one takes the cake. Usually, I can count on Anthony to take the lead on these kinds of things and move things along but he has been distracted as of late,"

"Finding a wife can be quite a distracting endeavour," Kate said.

Daphne hummed in what sounded like an agreement "Especially when he is unable to admit to what he wants,"

Kate slowed her pace at Daphne's words and looked at her "I'm not sure what you mean?"

Before Daphne could reply the Baron approaches them, "Miss Sharma, I was wondering if I may have a word?" Kate must have looked apprehensive because he said "With the Duchess as chaperone of course,"

Kate nodded on reflex but mostly because she was curious about what he was going to say.

"I wanted to speak to you earlier but I never got the chance," He smiled "I wanted to tell you how much I enjoyed your company last night," the Baron said as Kate took his arm.

Kate smiled "It was nice hearing about your family, my lord. Your sisters are quite the colourful bunch,"

The Baron smiled "Andrew, please. I enjoyed telling you about them. Most ladies of the Ton consider my devotion to my family as bothersome,"

Kate scoffed on his behalf "Some people have a hard time understanding that siblings could be that close,"

"Yes, well I wanted to thank you for giving me your time," the Baron said softly.

"There is no need. If I had to be completely honest, being around you felt quite like a bit of a reprieve," Kate wanted to reassure him but did not want to get too deep into details because Daphne was following them as they walked along.

"When I first got back to London, I was a bit overwhelmed. This is the second season I have participated in since my wife's passing. You have been the only warm comfort in this time,"

"I am glad but can I ask you why you were overwhelmed?" Kate asked.

"You may," The Baron continued "My wife and I were only married mere months before her passing and although I was fond of her, our marriage was one more of convenience than love,"

"Love matches are uncommon in society," Kate said.

"Of which I am aware but I had always felt guilty for not loving my wife and when she died a part of me felt free. Which is not exactly kind,"

"Maybe not, but it is honest," Kate said thinking of another man who spoke so candidly, only she scolded him. Then again that man was chasing after her sister.

"I have attended two seasons and I get older but the ladies stay the same age. Now I know men of my station do not usually complain but I cannot help but feel like I am conversing with different creatures when I speak to the current crop of debutantes,"

"Well, they cannot help their youth, Andrew," When Kate said his name the Baron turned to her and smiled.

"Of course not and I would not dream of telling them to do so but I entered this season with not much hope of finding a connection and I think I found a connection with you last night," Kate resisted the urge to look back as she heard a quiet cough escape Daphne behind them "I know it's not much for a declaration of love but I do think we could be friends and as it turns out I could use a friend, Miss Sharma," the Baron stopped walking to look in her eyes and Kate felt shy under his scrutiny but did not look away. He was a handsome man, not as handsome as others but enough that she was pleased with his attentions "I would like to court you, Miss Sharma. I think we could be great friends but more importantly, I think you would make a great Baroness. Please think about it but no pressure," He bowed slightly and kissed her hand before walking towards the front of the party.

Kate's first thought as he walked away was to disregard the Baron's words. She was not looking for a match for herself and she had finally admitted to herself that she had feelings for the Viscount. Although the Viscount was currently courting her sister, her sister was more than likely only entertaining the Viscount because she knew about the deal with the Sheffields. Maybe Edwina did like Anthony but there was no way of convincing her to slow down with the courtship if the possibility of being destitute was still looming over the family. The Baron provided her with a great possibility. Maybe it would not be the loving marriage she had witnessed her father experience twice but it could be one of friendship, one where she held a great deal of power as a Baroness and maybe possibly children.

Kate was so caught up in her thoughts she did not even notice that most of the party had left, it was not only her, Daphne, the ladies' maid, Anthony and Benedict. Kate caught Anthony staring at her with a frown on his face and turned to look anywhere but at him. It was then that she spotted deer tracks on the ground. She did not know where the others had gone but Kate started to follow the tracks, going over a fallen branch and that is when she heard her name being called. Daphne had followed her as she investigated the tracks on the path.

"Kate, I see you have found evidence that the deer has gone this way," Daphne said as she caught up. Daphne's riding habit was a bit more elaborate than her own considering she was a Duchess but it seemed it limited her mobility around the forest.

"Yes, well we don't want to stray too far from the group so let's just head back towards the main group before your brother scolds me for leading you astray," Kate said hoping she sounded more amused than nervous.

"Yes of course," Daphne said as they walked back. There was a moment of awkward silence before Daphne spoke again "I see you and the Baron are becoming closer,"

Kate did not know how to respond. She knew that Daphne must have heard what she had spoken about with the Baron but she also wondered how much she knew about the tension between her brother and herself. "He wishes to court me. As friends," Kate said simply.

"Well that is good is it not? My husband is not only the love of my life but my best friend," Daphne said.

"Do you wish for me to wed the Baron?" Kate asked. It is not that she felt agitated but this would be the second time the Duchess seemed to push Kate into the Baron's affection and Kate was starting to wonder if this was all an elaborate plan to have her distracted so that the Viscount was free to court her sister, Edwina, without Kate interfering.

"I do not mean to be pushy. I only wonder because I have been in your shoes," Daphne said.

Kate scoffed "I highly doubt that. Even before you were the Duchess you were the sister of a Viscount, wealthy beyond your means and the Diamond of the Season,"

Daphne sighed and Kate wondered if she had gone too far "You are right of course, my situation was wildly different from your own. I only mean we are similar in the ways one of which we are both the eldest daughter. I felt a lot of pressure last season not only to marry but to find a desirable match. It wasn't easy there was a time when I was stuck between two choices,"

Kate nodded her head "How did you make your choice?"

Daphne smiled, Kate was not sure if what she saw was happiness or mischief in the smile "I picked my most dear friend," Daphne sighed "I cannot tell you what you should do Miss Sharma, I can only tell you that as much as you may resist the urge to participate in the season as the eldest daughter people will often look to you to see how the rest of the women in the family will succeed. Miss Edwina may be doing well with your guidance but she could do even better with you setting a good example in the man you picked. I had one in my father and Anthony,"

Kate chuckled "Does Anthony know you feel this way?"

Daphne frowned a bit and then said "I do not know,"

"Well, you should probably tell him. It is important that he knows you see him as a good man," Kate said.

"Perhaps I will," Kate and Daphne had finally caught up to the men and were walking closer to them before Daphne stopped and looked at Kate "I did mean what I said earlier. If you want your sister to pick a good man for herself, you must set a good example by maybe doing the same. In doing so, you have no idea how much pressure you would be alleviating from her,"

Kate nodded, if Kate considered herself to be in England for her family then maybe participating in the season might help "Thank you for the advice Daphne,"

Kate and Daphne walked alongside the men through the forest.

"It seems our stag may be eluding us," Benedict said.

Lord Featherington chuckled and said "Ah but the elusiveness is part of the fun. And you cannot fault the sunshine,"

Anthony spoke looking around "No, certainly not,"

"Ah. The men out enjoying the sunshine," Kate said nonchalantly.

"A sign of a great hunt, won't you say Kate?" Daphne asked.

Anthony looked at both ladies and said "No, Miss Sharma seems like she prefers the darkness," Benedict chuckled beside him.

Kate narrowed her eyes "What I would prefer is to be allowed to follow my own instincts on this hunt instead of blindly following the guide,"

Anthony walked from Benedict and Lord Featherington over to her and stood more firmly but with a hint of amusement on his face "You are still convinced we have lost our prey?" He asked.

"Yes, Anthony. Kate spotted tracks that went the opposite way to the party," Daphne said.

Anthony put his hand out to help Kate climb over the branch in front of her. Kate looked at Daphne beside her nervously as she did not expect him to help her first. Instead, she lifts the skirt of her dress and walks over the branch by herself. "I am convinced that deer prefer the edge of the forest. This is much too open out here,"

Kate tried to ignore Daphne walk around the branch as Anthony completely turned to her with an unreadable look on his face and said "Uh, yes, well, perhaps you are right, but we should carry on," He turned to catch up with the rest of the hunting party.

Daphne, Anthony and the ladies' maid try and catch up to the rest of the hunting party. Anthony spoke again "Certainly there will be other deer on other paths..."

Kate misses the rest of what he says as she follows the movement she saw on her right side, into the far side of the forest.

---

"Certainly there will be other deer on other paths. They do not always stick together. And if they are not, then..." Anthony turned around to look for Kate but she was gone. "Miss Sharma?" He was concerned. Annoyed because he knew what she was up to.

Anthony turned to Benedict and Daphne and said "Keep track of the ladies please,"

"Maybe I should come and help you look for her," Daphne said.

Anthony just walked away, he did not need Daphne slowing him down.

[After Anthony and Kate almost shot the deer and also almost...]

Despite not catching any prey, the hunting party seemed cheery on the way back to the house. Anthony was lost in his thoughts so much so that he was surprised even more when he realised that they had made it back into Aubrey Hall.

"Brother, may I speak to you for a moment?" Daphne asked with concern in her eyes.

Anthony then escorted Daphne into his study and closed the door "What is it, Daphne? I would very much like to scrub the smell of forest off of me,"

"I just wanted to speak to you about your behaviour with Miss Sharma," Daphne said.

"If this is about how we do not get on then you can blame her for running off and being obstinant and not listening to me," He said in a huff.

"I saw you, Anthony," Daphne said and Anthony froze "I saw you and Kate,"

"I do not know what you mean," he said sitting down but avoiding eye contact with Daphne.

"I saw you embrace her and I saw that you almost kissed," she said the latter part softly.

"You saw no such thing," he said. He was panicking it was one thing for him to know he lusted after Kate Sharma but it was an entirely different thing for someone else to notice it.

"Brother," she said softly. Anthony finally looked at her and she looked like her eyes were imploring him "You have feelings for her,"

"I do not," Anthony winced at the childish nature of his reply.

"You may not think so but if you continue to act this way, your actions will scare off the Baron," Daphne said folding her arms.

"The Baron? Andrew?" Anthony asked incredulously.

"Just because you refuse to admit your feelings does not mean others will do so as well. The Baron has spoken to Kate about courting her and I think she is going to accept his suit,"

Anthony scoffed "No, she won't," his heartbeat sped up.

Daphne sighed "I think she will. We spoke about it at length. I encouraged her to see him as a viable option,"

"Why would you do that?" Anthony asked panicking.

"I like Kate. I wanted her to think about it. Besides I thought I was helping you," she said eyes wide.

"Why would think encouraging Kate to be courted by the Baron to be helping me? Especially considering you think I have feelings for her," Anthony said loosening the top button of his shirt. It was becoming quite difficult to breathe.

"Mother told me you were having trouble courting a Miss Edwina Sharma, of course, she had no idea the reason why and when I get here you are constantly ogling Kate Sharma instead. I have been trying to mind my business brother but honestly, I am starting to get concerned,"

"There's- there's nothing to be concerned about Daphne," He said trying to hide the rising panic.

Daphne looks like she wants to say something but then leaves the study. Anthony feels like he can finally panic in peace, opening all the windows and removing his jacket and vest.

Seeing Anthony again was not easy for her either but unlike Kate, Anthony had moved on and so even though it hurt her to see him with Siena and hear about his dalliances from gossipers, Kate kept her head down and tried to be a good ex-girlfriend.

Kate had gotten messages and missed calls from Daphne and Simon. Kate knew that avoiding Simon would be too difficult hence why she found herself in Agatha Danbury's office this early morning.

Kate had just handed Agatha her notice and Agatha was surprised and irritated, to say the least.

"I thought we agreed you would give me more time to discuss with the shareholders about promoting you," Agatha said sternly.

"We did but things changed. I think it would be best if I moved on," Kate said with what she hoped was finality.

"If this is what that Bridgerton boy said to you at my godson's baby shower then you must know that I gave him and his mother a stern talking to,"

"I don't doubt it but you know I wanted to move more into family law. Do not get me wrong I think we have done a good job rattling the feathers of the elite but now I think it's time I get to work on fighting with the less fortunate," Kate said.

"You are making me regret investing in your friend's firm," Agatha chuckled.

"You won't regret it. Sophie is more determined than me when it comes to this stuff and it will be a challenge but I have always done my best as a solicitor when I was the underdog," Kate said chuckling a bit.

"I guess I have to understand that thought myself," Agatha continued "I accept your notice, Kate," Agatha stood up to shake Kate's hand and Kate stood up to take it.

"Thank you. You have been an incredible mentor all these years," Kate said emotionally.

"Hush now child, you will shine just fine on your own. And if not there will always be a place for you here at Danbury Law," Agatha said.

"Thank you again," Kate said and made to leave but not before asking the question she has had on her mind since she first started at Danbury Law "Why is the firm called Danbury Law?" Agatha turned to face Kate again and looked at her with an arched brow "Why not name it Agatha Law or Soma Law after your maiden name?"

Agatha sighed and then said "You must know I am a proud West African woman but my relationship with my past is not that positive I'm afraid," Agatha took a breath and continued "I grew up in a small village in Sierra Leone, my family did not have much of money, prospects or connections. When I was 8 years old I was attending church with my parents when a man came to town, he was from a village over but he got adopted by a British family and was visiting his country of birth. He took one look at me and proclaimed me the most beautiful girl in the world. Naturally, this is not an uncommon thing I had heard when I was younger but he was hyper-fixated on me, he made me laugh and promised my parents he would come back to marry me... My parents were thrilled," Agatha paused to take a seat behind her desk "From then onwards I was raised to be his wife, he would send letters with his interests, likes and dislikes and my parents would make sure I would know all of these things and submit to his lead. After the death of his benefactors slash parents, of which he received a hefty inheritance, he came back to Sierra Leone and married me, exactly like he promised he would,"

Kate slowly walked back into the room and took a seat opposite Agatha's desk "That seems like a fairytale,"

Agatha smirked "That's what all the society women would say when we came back husband and wife, Lord and Lady Danbury," Agatha sighed and continued "You see back in the eighties people were not that particular about age gaps. I was a 19-year-old girl married to a 42-year-old man. To society I was just indicative of how men crave young flesh and young women are opportunists. They didn't see the possible terrible dynamic I was in... See I was dependent on my husband, Sierra Leone was not exactly the most stable political environment and despite my decrepit husband, and I hope you don't mind my candour here, constant copulating his young wife, I liked England. I liked the freedom that I had and what hindered me because of my race, my new wealth and my title would sort out no problem. I did my duty, I gave him 4 children, 2 sons and 2 daughters, who wished for nothing and lived their lives well-off,"

"So it was a mutually beneficial relationship? Not quite unheard of, especially in my culture, although not as romantic as one might think. I guess your loyalty to your married life is why you keep the name Danbury Law," Kate said.

"Oh no. I may hate my family for pawning off on an old man but I despised the late Lord Danbury," Agatha held her hand up to stop Kate from interrupting her and continued "I loathed the late Lord Danbury, so I use my wealth and influence to fund all things he would have hated when he was alive. My husband was one of those Black people who enjoyed being the only one in the room and hated the idea of educating women and desegregating the classes as well as spent his time fighting AGAINST well-rounded immigration policies particularly people from former colonies which was incredibly awful considering Sierra Leone was one itself,"

Kate took a calming breath while Agatha looked off into the distance "I still don't understand why you would then want anything to do with him,"

"It's not enough to fund movements and bills that would help dismantle everything my husband held dear, no, I have to do it using his name so he will always be associated with it. Most people, like yourself, live their life to honour their families, and make them proud and in a lot of ways I am doing the same. I do what I am doing because it's important to me that wherever Herman is he rots and whatever kind of legacy he thought he was building gets overshadowed by the work I am doing. I want to make sure that future generations including my children, will think of me when they think of Danbury and all the work I have done to dismantle this terrible inequitable society,"

"I think that's an honourable vision," Kate said, feeling emotional and proud at the same time. Lady Agatha Danbury was a badass, it is just a shame that she had to go through so much to be that way.

----

Past:

Anthony was on cloud nine. Kate and Anthony had been together for 5 months and they would be making their first public appearance as a couple, at a benefit being held by Bridgerton Investment Group, and he couldn't be more happy. He looked at himself one more time in the mirror and then checked his watch for the time. He and Kate would be late if he did not check on her soon. She was not good with time but that is why he usually got her going early to get ready because he had timed her preparation times and averaged them out to understand how long she generally needed to get ready.

It was super analytical but he also knew that Kate appreciated being a bit more on time to things so he felt secure in his efforts.

As Anthony made his way to his bathroom, Kate came over to get ready as he was nervous she would back out and she was nervous that they would not look good together.

Anthony was not nervous about this event, he had been to millions of events like these but he knew Kate was feeling nervous because she had never really interacted with wealthy people unless they were on the opposite side of the courtroom. Kate was close friends with Simon but Simon had a way of keeping things close to the chest so there was no way of knowing if she knew the full extent of these events.

He knocked on the door to his master bathroom and entered. Kate was busy with her makeup but Anthony could not focus, she looked incredible. She was wearing a light pink dress that hugged her curves as well showing off her cleavage.

"Uhmmm babe you're staring," Kate said, he had not even noticed she was looking at him through the mirror and slightly blushed.

Anthony walked up behind her and kissed her neck "I was just thinking about how stunning you look," Anthony said nipping at her neck. He took a whiff of her neck and she stopped, he could see the goosebumps travel up her neck and he felt full of himself for a moment.

"If you continue like that we are going to be late," she said trying to sound stern but it came out breathless Anthony chuckled but backed out of the room.

--

The benefit was a success at least Anthony thought it was. He was currently having a drink with his friends, no cigars because Kate hated the smell, and his friends were ribbing him about the fact.

When he and Kate first arrived there seemed to be hesitation in their reception but as they went around the room and said their hellos, many people seemed to relax and commented on how well they complemented each other so he relaxed and eventually he felt confident enough to leave Kate to her mingling and went to catch up with some old friends of his.

Simon finally put out his cigar and Anthony took a breath, even though he was not smoking himself, he knew the smoke in the room could linger on him "So Bridgerton, you and Sharma doing good?" Simon asked.

"Yeah Bridgerton, you seem to be taken completely out of commission these days," Marcus Fife commented.

"What can I say, gents? I'm happy," Anthony stated trying not to blush and shrug.

"Well, then it makes sense curry is the national dish, then? I might get me one of those," Conrad Pemberton remarked.

"Excuse me?" Anthony said as his blood turned to ice.

"Pemberton, Chicken Tikka Masala is the national dish you idiot," Fife exclaimed.

"Okay, so how do I get me one of those Tikka Masala's Bridgerton?" Pemberton said with a chuckle.

Pemberton stopped talking the minute Anthony got in his face, he was angry beyond belief and was shocked at how much his old friends could be so cavalier with their racism "Pemberton speak about my girlfriend or any Indian like that again and I will pummel you just like in sixth form,"

Fife came between the two men and said "Relax Bridge, I know you are going through your Prince Harry phase but eventually, you got to do your duty like the rest of us heirs and marry yourself a Kate Middleton," 

Simon who had left the room to go to the bathroom was back and asked "You all know Kate Middleton is already married, right?"

Anthony was trying and failing at calming himself down and Anthony thought Simon could see his distress but did not comment on it "I was just telling Bridgerton that eventually he's gotta settle down, right?" Pemberton said with a bit of smugness that Anthony did not like and he narrowed his eyes.

Simon looked between Anthony to Pemberton and asked "Is that not what you are doing with Kate? Settling down?"

Anthony knew Simon cared deeply for Kate so he was probably asking more for himself than Pemberton "Of course I am. I would not bring her as my date if I was not serious about her,"

Simon nodded his head "Oh come off it Bridge, this has to be a piss-take. You are a man of a particular taste," Fife said

Anthony was now full-blown seething but asked "What the hell does that even mean?"

"I don't know but we definitely haven't seen you eat an Indian meal before mate so colour us curious," Fife said with his hands up.

"Anthony goes for the women he finds attractive, he does not date based on race," Simon said trying to de-escalate the situation "Maybe, we should change topics?" he suggested.

"Okay fine, but mate let me know if Kate has any friends or a sister, I would love to have a taste of the national dish," Pemberton said chuckling.

Anthony was not sure what happened next but Anthony had to be hoisted off of Pemberton by Simon. Pemberton's face and Anthony's knuckles were bloody and Fife was laughing in the corner.

Simon dragged Anthony into a separate room and left him to cool off, at least that is what he thought until he returned with Kate and his mother.

"Anthony darling, are you alright?" Violet asked "We heard there was a tussle that occurred,"

While his mother stayed close to the door and looked at him curiously Kate came closer to him to inspect him, touching his face and Anthony felt better but also sick with guilt at the same time.

"Well I'm not sure if it was a tussle or more like a one-sided beatdown," Simon remarked.

"Well you don't look injured, so who did you hit?" Kate asked but Anthony did not reply, he could not reply. He just is not sure how he would explain to Kate how his ex-friends spoke about her and women of her race. He was disgusted with himself so he remained silent.

Simon who thought this was a conversation that should not be in public suggested "Maybe we should leave the benefit,"

"We can't leave they have not even gotten around to announcing how much money was raised tonight," Violet said seeming concerned.

"Violet, by now everyone knows what happened so I don't think there will be more or less gossip if Anthony just leaves a bit earlier," Simon said smoothly.

"Anthony, what happened?" Kate asked so gently that Anthony's heart broke all over again.

"It was just some old form mates saying some dumb stuff, Anthony's had a few drinks so he just lost his temper," Simon said trying to help Anthony so he did not have to have this conversation in a room at a public benefit that was still ongoing.

"Well, what did he say, Anthony? What could he have possibly said to excuse your deplorable behaviour?" Violet asked and Anthony stiffened, he knew that tone coming from his mother, it was dripping with disapproval.

"There were some things I did not agree with so I got mad," Anthony said softly.

"Anthony most of the gentlemen here have been your chums for decades, what could they have possibly said that angered you so?" Violet asked.

Anthony stayed silent but then Kate asked "They said something about me didn't they?"

Anthony's head turned to her and she was looking in his eyes not with judgement but with like resolved and sad eyes. Anthony swallowed and nodded his head.

"Well, Anthony boys will be boys. I've heard you and your brothers say some appalling things about women but I do not resort to roughness to correct you," Violet said.

"Well maybe you should have," Kate said in a soft voice but she knew that his mother probably heard her. She remained looking at her hands.

"It wasn't just some misogynistic comments Mother, of which I have aged out of making," Anthony said the last part looking at Kate and imploring her to look up at him but she never did so he continued "There was also a racial aspect to their comments,"

Anthony could feel Kate stiffen beside him and he held his breath. There was silence in the room but just when it felt like Anthony would scream just so someone would say something Kate stood up and said "Good then. It's sorted,"

"I'm sorry. What do you mean it's sorted? Anthony has to apologise to the guests and to the gentleman he hurt," Violet said looking at Kate confused.

"Look Violet, Anthony can make the rounds on his way to apologise for causing a commotion but he does not owe a racist misogynist any apology," Kate said.

"Kate, I know you don't know how these things work but in our society, it's very important that a level of politeness and manners are maintained," Violet said.

"So he gets to make racist comments about his friend's girlfriend but when said friend stands up for his girlfriend, the friend is the one deemed the ill-mannered and rude one?" Kate asked using her solicitor's voice, normally Anthony would be turned on by it but now he felt his mother might not be able to stand against Kate and he was nervous "Violet we are all in the same society just because you choose to interact with only certain members of it does not mean that we are not meant to be held to the same standard. Just like with Mayfair Girls,"

Violet scoffed "This isn't a high school. This is real life and this is just how things are done,"

"Maybe that's the problem," Kate remarked.

"That's enough," Anthony finally said and stood up "Simon, I know you hate these types of things but if you could please find my secretary Freddy and get the numbers for the benefit and give them to Benedict so he can announce them," Simon nodded and left the room "Mother don't worry I will send an apology to Conrad Pemberton and make sure that I will cover any medical and dry cleaning expenses," His mother looked satisfied "Kate, I think we should make a quiet exit out of the back the entrance," He went to grab her hand but she looked at him funny and walked to the door.

Anthony sighed and followed her but before he made it to the open door, his mother spoke "Anthony, I will make sure Freddy gets your jackets and gets the car to come around for you," Anthony nodded his head at his mother and went to follow Kate.

The car ride back to his home was silent but if Anthony was honest, it was a silence he needed. He was busy writing emails and texts. As much as it pained him he had written apologies to Pemberton as well as the board and planners of the benefit for any disruptions and made promises to make it up to them and behave better in the future. It was generic and so insincere but he knew it had to be done.

When they finally got back to his place, Kate got out of the car before Robert could come around to open it and Anthony jumped out to follow her in. Kate's long legs carried her into his place and when he entered a while after her she was already out of her dress and packing her things.

Anthony asked, "Babe, what are you doing?"

"Don't babe me Anthony. Not after tonight," Kate said and she continued to aggressively pack things into her bag.

"I understand why you are mad," Anthony said, he knew the idea of being associated with someone like Fife and Pemberton might decrease her level of respect for him but he hoped she had known him better by now.

"I don't think you do, but humour me. Tell me why you think I am mad at you," Kate said turning to him and folding her arms.

Anthony sighed "Look what Fife and Pemberton were saying tonight is not actually what I think or a reflection of who I am. I barely see those guys I wouldn't even call them friends,"

Kate scoffed "Anthony, let's just say I was able to get over you ordering me about. What about me makes you think I would be okay with you apologising to a racist?"

Anthony sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose, a headache was forming "Kate, you don't understand,"

"Actually, I think I understand better than you. It wasn't racist comments made about you or your family so it's fine then?"

"I didn't say it was fine but I should not have lost my temper," Anthony exclaimed. Why did she not understand?

"You lost your temper because you care for me and I hoped that you cared about shutting down racists!"

"I do care!"

"Then why did you spend so much effort and time sending apologies to those racists after the fact?"

"It's important to maintain a level of politeness with important people in society," Anthony said a bit more level-headed.

"More important than defending me and people that look like me?" Kate asked and Anthony noted the tears in her eyes. He tried to approach her but she took a step back "Standing up to your enemies is easy but it takes greater courage to stand up to your friends. Before you sent off your little apologetic emails, everyone at the benefit would have known where you stood on racism, where you stood on us,"

Anthony felt like things were spiralling and he was struggling to keep up, Kate looked hurt and it hurt him "Kate I am against racism. I did stand up for us,"

"For 30 minutes, then you were apologising as if a person being a racist is a minor inconvenience and not something morally wrong,"

Anthony was panicking now, Kate sounded so sad then "It's not like hitting him was going to change the world,"

"But it would have changed my world, Anthony. I'm not a fool I see how people look at us sometimes but at least I thought I was in this with someone who had my back, that we were a team... And now, I just need time to think about what we are as a couple,"

Anthony could barely breathe but as Kate continued packing Anthony went to stop her hands "Kate, please stop. Just wait a minute here. I'm still the same guy, the man who loves you. What can I do to make this right?" The question he asked came out with a broken voice that even he could hear.

"It's alright Anthony, I think I just need time to resolve the kind of guy you are with the one I had in my head," She was full-blown crying now and Anthony sniffed his tears away.

"Okay okay. I will give you some space just... Please know that I do love you, and that... I'm sorry," Anthony said in a small voice.

Kate had her back turned to him and all he could see was her nodding her head as she continued to pack.

Kate called her mother, Mary, to tell her she would be coming home, so she called an Uber. Anthony tried to change her mind but then she told him her mother wanted to track her trip considering the time of night. They sat in silence for 5 minutes waiting for the Uber and Anthony could not stop taking glances at Kate. Her tears eventually dried and she looked resolute and then she was gone out of his home.

The minute Anthony turned around after seeing Kate to her Uber, he looked at his empty apartment and felt hollow. Anthony was used to apologising to keep the peace whether that was at work, with his mother, his siblings or with women. This was the first time keeping the peace seemed foolish. 

--

"Edwina would you give me back my shoe, I'm gonna be late to meet Anthony," Kate shouted at her sister's door while knocking on it.

Even though it was muffled Kate heard her sister yell on the other side of the door "No! Anthony is a dickhead! I don't want you to go to lunch with him and forgive him!"

"Edwina language!" Mary shouted from the living room.

"It's true mama! He let his friends say horrible things about Kate and all Indian women,"

"Edwina you need to stop eavesdropping on the conversations Kate and I are having," Mary said walking into the hallway until she stood side-by-side with Kate.

"Bon, he didn't let anyone say anything he beat him up remember?" Kate said, feeling the need to defend Anthony. It was important to keep her emotions focused on the things he did and not contort the past with negative emotions.

"Yeah, but he apologised to that racist ars- egghead. Relationships should not be so hard," Edwina said.

Kate sighed, she did not want to disillusion her sister "Bon, life is not like those romance books you read, they are hard and require understanding from both sides,"

Mary sighed "Your sister is right, my love. If I steered clear of hard relationships I would not have married your father and had 19 years of wedded bliss,"

Edwina unlocked her door and opened it slightly "I guess you're right," she handed Kate her shoe but before Kate could thank her the doorbell rang.

Edwina immediately sprinted to the front of the house, Kate tried to run after her but one of her shoes was not put on right so she had to stop.

By the time Kate and Mary got to the front door, Anthony was bouncing while holding his foot, like he was in pain. "Edwina, what did you do?" Kate asked.

"Why do you assume I did anything? Did I hurt you, Anthony?" Edwina asked with a fake sweet voice.

"No, and even if she did it's not like I didn't deserve it," Anthony said standing properly.

"As long as we are on the same page," Edwina said as she walked back to her room.

Mary sighed and followed her "I'm sorry Anthony. I'll talk to her," she said before she left.

Kate turned to Anthony and for the first time noticed the flowers in his hands "Are those for me?"

Anthony jumped and handed her the flowers "Yes, although I feel I should have brought some for your sister and your mother," he looked self-conscious for a moment.

Kate took the flowers and sniffed them before making to leave "It's good that you didn't. Edwina is allergic. I usually keep flowers in my room. At first, it was cause it reminded me of India but then it was to keep Edwina out of my room and now it just makes me feel better to see and smell them,"

"You never told me that," he said as they made their way down the stairs.

"It's not a big deal," Kate said as she shrugged. She was feeling nervous as this was the first time she had been alone with Anthony since their fight.

Kate had been a bit withdrawn when she got back from the benefit, Mary knew not to ask questions when she got back and just helped her change and go to sleep. It wasn't until she had gotten angry at Edwina unnecessarily that Mary sat her down to talk. She cried as Mary held her and they spoke about that night and about racism. Mary knew better than anyone what people thought about mixed-race couples as she was the offspring of one but Mary said she felt like Anthony was special. Mary told Kate it was more important that his first instinct was to defend Kate. It might seem like he went back on it later but societal pressure is immense and it can even make it so that the best of people make bad decisions. Mary made Kate giggle when she said Kate came out of the womb with a backbone of steel but others are not as lucky and that it is always important to lead with understanding and grace especially when the other person is trying.

6 days later Kate was still working on it but she finally texted Anthony back. 

As they made their way to the pathway, Kate turned to walk down the street but Anthony looked like he wanted to get to his car. "Oh, I thought we could get a quick coffee at this cafe nearby. It's usually quiet around this time, so I thought we could talk," Kate said.

Anthony looked hesitant "Oh sure,"

"Unless you already had a place in mind," Kate said nervously.

"No, we can go to the cafe. I want you to be comfortable," Anthony said.

Kate nodded and she led him to the cafe. 

Kate was right the place was quiet, mostly because the owners: The Gunningworths were not the most friendly people. Richard Gunningworth was a renowned lawyer who had 3 daughters. The only biological daughter he had was Sophie, a friend of Kate's. When Kate spoke to Sophie about finding neutral ground for her and Anthony to talk Sophie suggested they meet when Sophie was working her shift.

Kate and Anthony spoke. It was stilted at first but when Anthony blurted out that he did not want to break up, Kate was taken aback.

"Anthony I'm not going to break up with you," Anthony nodded and Kate could see his body visibly relax and she felt guilty. Communication with her partners was not something she was great at but she hoped she would be better because she loved Anthony more than any other man she had been with. Kate took his hands and said "I just wanted to discuss why I was so hurt that night," Anthony nodded and she continued "I've spent the last 10 years of my life fighting for a better society for people like me and other minorities. It's not an easy job and even though I know I'm morally and ethically in the right people still treat me like I'm a pariah. Like I'm the bad guy for trying to make the world fair... Even you did at first," Kate put her hand up to stop him before he spoke "I'm not trying to take a shot at you, I'm just trying to be honest. Being right is a lonely place and I have often hidden behind the fact that despite being alone I was right but it doesn't keep you warm at night,"

"You have me. You are not alone. I can keep you warm," Anthony said softly.

Kate smiled even though she was a bit emotional "I want to know that. I want to believe it with every bone in my body but I'm just not sure. You have a set of rules you live your life by and I don't think it's always going to align with the way I live mine but I'm willing to compromise some,"

Anthony's eyes widened "What do you mean?" he asked.

"Just that even though you did apologise to your friends-"

"They are not my friends," Anthony interjected almost growling "Sorry,"

Kate sighed and continued "Even though you did apologise to those guys after defending me, I have to give you grace because your first instinct was to defend me. I just hope it was not just because I was your girlfriend but because what they said was just wrong,"

Anthony sighed and looked down "Kate... I don't- I don't know. I wish I could say it was but I'm not sure... I'm sorry,"

"It's okay. There is no way of knowing anyway. I love you and as long as your first instincts are to protect me then I can't be that mad, can I?"

"I don't want you to feel like you are giving up being a good person to be with me. Not when your strength of character is one of the main reasons I love you in the first place," Anthony said squeezing her hands.

"I know. I'm not. I am just going to adjust to the way things are done in your world," Kate said squeezing his hands back and Anthony nodded.

Anthony smiled "How did you get so well adjusted?"

"A good therapist. I can recommend one if you like. Therapy does wonders," Kate suggested.

"I think I'm going to take you up on that offer. I think it will be good for us," Anthony said.

"It will be good for you, and that's what is important," Kate said smiling.

It wasn't this big declaration of extreme devotion and love that most people would expect from romantic comedies but Kate loved Anthony and she was happy to adjust certain aspects of her thoughts and reactions especially because Anthony was always changing for and because of her. In relationships, it was important to meet halfway and Kate was happily back with Anthony so what was the big deal? He was going to go to therapy and work on himself and in the meantime, Kate would give him grace.

---

For the last month and a half, things between Kate and Anthony returned to relative normalcy. Kate had noticed she was still not invited to brunch with Anthony's family but she tried not to take too much offence considering Anthony wanted her there but his mother was in charge of organising it every month. That being said every time she would bump into one of his siblings and they asked her why he did not attend or what she missed out on, she wondered if her and Anthony's relationship was seen as a serious thing to his mother, yet.

Before Kate could bring it up though, Anthony invited her to an event held by his grandmother, his mother's mother, Dowager Lady Ledger. This was a big deal because every one of the Bridgertons and Ledgers was going to be there and Kate would finally meet all of Anthony's family.

It was only fair, right? Anthony had met all of Kate's family. All 2 of them. Kat often thought about what her father would think of Anthony, would he see him as a random rich guy or would he see the caring guy underneath? Kate tried not to get too deep in her What Ifs because they just made her sad.

Kate smoothed down her dress. It was an afternoon event but Kate was still nervous. Luckily Daphne was available for shopping since she had to take a reluctant Eloise, so she tagged along and got herself a very nice dress. A very expensive dress but Daphne said that Anthony was fitting the bill, which did not sit well with her Kate knew there was no way she could borrow a dress like she did at the last big event especially when it was so important she made a good impression. 

So Kate settled on a colour-blocking Versace almost-mini dress. She looked great but also daring. The colours suited her skin tone and showed off her best asset: her legs.

Kate knew Anthony was nervous about this event. She hoped they could avoid drama but she knew that could not control everything. Even when Kate left home, Mary looked on edge.

Kate smoothed her dress while she sat at the back of the car, driven by Robert.

Anthony grabbed her hand and said "The dress looks stunning. You look stunning. Don't worry,"

"Sorry. It's just that today is an important day," Kate said looking at him.

"It's just a party like any other babe," he said.

Kate tried to calm down but before she could reply, Robert informed them that they had arrived.

Getting into the event was relatively more smooth and casual than the benefit and Kate quickly found a group of women to talk to. Some of them were rich and/or titled but the two that Kate bonded with were a doctor and a florist. Jennifer and Rebecca were married and partnered respectively with Fife and another guy named Michael Stirling. Rebecca was by far the youngest and she looked incredibly uncomfortable whereas Jennifer who despite having a similar background to Kate fit in because she was well-respected as a doctor.

Kate spent a lot of time talking with the two women and when Jennifer went off to use the loo, Jennifer leaned in and said "She's not gonna last,"

Kate who was sipping her drink at the time almost choked and asked "Why do you say that? I mean I know they are young but they look cute,"

"They are always cute but Michael does not stay with them for long," Jennifer said.

"Oh that's a shame," Kate said.

"Not really, she does not exactly know what she is getting herself into with these kinds of people," Jennifer said and Kate hummed her agreement. There was a lot of money and prestige flying around the room and even though Kate was not a part of it she had years of experience holding her own around people like this "You look like you got the memo though,"

Kate looked at Jennifer surprised and chuckled "I mean I guess. I don't have to do much,"

"Yeah, but that's good. At the benefit, you were wind up tight and Anthony was the same. Hence all the unpleasantness," Jennifer said casually.

Kate was confused by the remark. She was not sure what she knew "As long as people keep their racism to themselves I'm sure we will all be fine,"

"I mean to be fair my husband and Conrad were complimenting you,"

Kate's blood ran cold "Excuse me?"

"Look I've been there myself when I first married my husband but I realised that you have got to let them be themselves and do what they want so your relationship can be strong,"

Kate stood up and made her face stoic "Just because you are okay with being disrespected by your husband and his mates does not mean that is something I am okay with,"

"You say that as if they are not Anthony's mates as well. My husband, Conrad and Anthony go back years. It only makes sense that they would make up over a little disagreement," Jennifer said smiling and Kate could finally see how arrogant it looked, it leaned more into a sneer.

"Anthony being forced to make civilities with them does not mean he condones their behaviour," Kate said straightening her back to defend her boyfriend.

"My dear, I guess Rebecca is not the only one who is unaware. Anthony did not seem to have issues with My husband or Conrad at last week's polo match or a month ago at the Smythe-Smith musicale," Jennifer took out her phone and showed Kate pictures of the group of men smiling and laughing and Kate's stomach churned.

Kate walked away briskly until she made it to the loo and threw up the contents of her stomach, which unfortunately because food had not been served yet, was not much.

Kate cleaned herself up and looked at herself in the mirror. Anthony had lied to her? Well he had not lied, he merely omitted what he had done. What did it matter anyways Kate, knew Anthony had to make amends with those arses, she just did not know Anthony was having such a good time doing so. She felt like she had been sucker punched. She felt foolish and mostly sad, Anthony had to keep a part of his life from her maybe because he was ashamed but maybe because he did not want to be judged by her. She tried to find the grace she promised to give to him and was resolute to bring it up to him at a later date. Today was about impressing the Bridgertons and the Ledgers so she focused on that.

Kate spent the rest of the night schmoozing and putting on her best personality traits. Eventually, the woman of the hour showed up: Dowager Lady Ledger. Kate could not help but note how she looked old but not frail, stern and a little unfriendly. Kate wondered if it was wrong of her to notice the fact that her smile mirrored a lot of the women in the room: insincere.

Anthony introduced Kate to his grandmother and she remarked "Wow, you are beautiful,"

Kate smiled "Thank you. Of course, the only beauty people have their eyes on today is you,"

"Well thank you for flattering an old lady like myself, dear," she said.

"Is it flattery when it's the truth?" Anthony said and all the women laughed.

Lady Ledger took her hand and put it on his face "What a handsome charmer,"

"Thank you, grandmother," Anthony said "I love you,"

Lady Ledger smiled sweetly and was escorted around the rest of the room by Anthony's mother and brother, Colin.

Kate felt like she could take a breath "That went well didn't it?" Anthony said.

"Yeah, I'm glad she at least thinks I'm pretty," Kate said.

"Babe, you are the most beautiful woman ever. Now I would never say that to her because I fear her but you know that," Anthony said as he kissed the side of her head and Kate felt giddy.

All of a sudden the idea of what had happened with Jennifer earlier seemed like a dream and what she had with Anthony was the reality she needed to focus on.

--

Later as the party winded down and the little sun they had gotten dwindled to dark greys, Kate was happily dancing with Benedict when Anthony cut in.

"Are you having a good time?" Anthony asked as they swayed together to the music.

"Surprisingly, yes. Your siblings are hilarious and I like them," Kate said laying her head on his shoulder.

"Thank you," Anthony said.

"For what?" Kate asked.

"For accepting all of this. My family. Me. I know it's not exactly the best example of how to use wealth but it's important to me to maintain our family's name. I hope it's not too much,"

"Anthony, of course. I love you. The rest is just noise," Kate said.

Anthony kissed Kate softly. She could hear some camera's going off but she didn't care for once.

"What?" Kate said to him.

"I have thought about you being in here for months and now that you are I am feeling..."

"Vulnerable?" Kate suggested.

Anthony nodded "I guess I am wondering what you think of it and subsequently of me,"

"Do you really think your apartment would be a deal breaker for me?" Kate asked.

Anthony shrugged "People's apartments say a lot about who they are,"

"Sometimes," Kate said and then she spoke again while walking back towards Anthony, "I think your place looks like you don't spend much time here, though,"

"I don't," Anthony said finally meeting her eye.

"When I was younger I thought the moment I moved out I would be able to decorate my place with everything my father and Mary deemed too inappropriate," Kate said trying to lighten the mood.

"I can imagine you with a lot of colour in your home," he said with a smile.

"Yes and lots and lots of posters of Craig David," Kate said wistfully.

Anthony chuckled "Well, I don't what you are doing with me then, I look nothing like Craig David,"

"I have varied tastes," Kate said smiling.

"I guess our homes should represent our interests. I guess I haven't done a good job of decorating this place,"

"Maybe it does not represent your interests but it represents your heart," Kate said as she brought her hand to his chest.

They both looked over to a photo of what can only be Daphne's high school graduation. Daphne is holding flowers, the whole family is smiling and Anthony is beaming at his younger sister. Pride is written all over his face.

Anthony takes a breath and then comes closer to her. Moving slowly, giving her plenty of time to stop him but she knows she's not going to. Soon her hand is caught tightly between them, her open hand pressed to his chest. He is radiating warmth through his dark shirt, his heart thumping hard and fast against her palm. He looks at her deep in her eyes and Kate is unable to break the intense gaze he has on her.

"Kate, I want to-" He cuts himself off and swallows "Can I kiss you?"

There is an air of vulnerability in Anthony's voice that makes Kate catch her breath. She does not trust her voice so all she does is nod strongly.

Anthony goes in to kiss her, slowly and carefully. She loves the feel of him so she clutches at his shirt with her hand and goes to grip his arm with the other. She grips his bicep harder and he makes an almost pained groan, parting his lips and she slips her tongue inside just a little, seeking his, and when they touch, the air goes nuclear. Kate takes her hand from his shirt and puts it through his hair. 

Anthony's hands dip lower and his hands go to grab her bum, first with one little squeeze but then he groans and he squeezes harder, causing Kate to moan.

Anthony must feel more confident because he goes to lift her under her bum and she wraps her legs around his waist. Eventually, they have to part for air and his chest is heaving against hers, his heartbeat banging like heavy bass and there's no way he can't feel how hard her nipples are cause she can feel how hard he is since they're pretty much sealed together from head to toe.

When they finally catch their breath Anthony speaks "Fuck, I'm sorry. I just kinda lost it. I've never felt like this before,"

"Me either," Kate says and they smile at each other.

Anthony goes to kiss her again, small quick pecks but then he travels down to her neck and Kate groans. "Bedroom," she says and Anthony still holding Kate walks them to what can only be his bedroom.

The longer they kiss the better it gets, Kate finally understands how people could do this for hours. The sounds Anthony is making are setting her on fire. It's like she can't get close enough to him.

"Kate... Kate, wait," he gasps "If you keep grabbing at me like that I'm going to drop you," Kate giggles and makes it to put her legs on the ground but Anthony refuses to let her thighs go "I did not say I wanted to stop holding you up, I just wanted to take a break for a second," He gives her a peck and Kate feels like she cannot be more attracted to anyone more as he keeps kissing her and then dragging his lips down to her neck.

They get to his bedroom and Anthony drops Kate on the bed, which causes her to giggle. Anthony looks at her funny "What?" she asked.

"You have no idea how much I have thought of you in my bed," Anthony said his voice hoarse.

"And? What's the verdict?" Kate asked.

"Beautiful," he replied.

Kate would usually blush at a comment like that but instead, she felt emboldened and she reached at the bottom of her dress to take it off. She threw it off to the side and turned to look at Anthony who was biting his lip and his eyes were dark with lust. That sent a shiver up Kate's body and she gestured for him to do the same. So Anthony eager to please, instead of unbuttoning his shirt ripped it open and some of the buttons went flying. Kate giggled but when she turned to look at Anthony's bare chest and arms she said "Damn,"

"That's a good damn, right?" he asked, licking his lips.

She nodded "My thoughts are pretty unhinged right now,"

"Yeah?" He looked pleased by this.

Anthony slowly gets onto the bed and crawls over to Kate. He kisses her softly and then nips at her lips and moves to her neck where he continues a mixture of kisses and nips at her neck. Kate drags her hands over his back and then his arms as she grinds her groin into Anthony's, who is still wearing pants at this time.

Kate dragged her hands over Anthony's arms but as he suckled at one particular part of her neck she dug her nails into Anthony's biceps which caused Anthony to growl. The vibration caused even more moisture to pull in her underwear and Anthony got up. He took off his belt and dropped his pants. Kate was sure he was hard but seeing the evidence, straining against his briefs, for herself turned her on so much that she bit into her lip. 

Anthony crawls back up Kate's body and eases the bra straps off her shoulders and she immediately shrugs it down further "Anthony, please,"

He chuckles "Ok, sorry. It's just that now that we are actually doing this, I don't want to rush,"

Kate groans in frustration and because he is so sweet, she tries to hurry the process along by unclasping her bra and throwing it to the side of the bed. Was it the same side as her dress? Those are tomorrow's problems she thought to herself.

Anthony is wide-eyed staring at her bare chest and goes to cup each breast in his hand. He squeezes her breasts gently before he takes an experimental lick. His mouth is a hot shock when he finally sucks her, so good, she holds him there, one hand in his hair and the other gripping his shoulder. She loses track of time as he alternates between her left and right breaks, licking, sucking while squeezing and rolling her nipple with his fingers.

Just when she thinks she cannot reach a higher form of pleasure, he kisses his way down her stomach to her thighs. They make eye contact and Kate nods before Anthony helps her take off her underwear. "Soaked are we?"

"Can you blame me?" Kate replies.

Anthony kisses her dark and shapely thighs and Kate yearns for him to make his way to her center. Once he gets to the apex of her thighs he blows on her centre causing Kate to moan. Anthony takes a lick "Delicious,"

Kate is so taken aback that she does not notice how he is circling her slit with a single finger. He slides his leg over one of hers and eases her legs further apart, at that Kate can't help but moan. When he switches to using his thumb on her clit and lips the tip of one finger inside her, it's incredible.

"Is it?" he murmurs and Kate realizes she said the last part out loud.

"Yes," she answered "Yes," and "Right there," as he slides his finger in deeper, he added another finger and she grinds into his hand.

The pleasure is building up inside her and Anthony goes to hold her still as she is now moving all over the bed.

Anthony with one hand preoccupied reaches for one of Kate's hands and their fingers thread together. Kate uses his hand as an anchor. Anthony picks up the pace as his fingers go in and out of Kate but it's when Anthony hooks his fingers does Kate see stars.

Kate comes down from her orgasm and Anthony does the sexiest thing she has ever seen a man do. Lick his fingers, the ones that were just in her, clean. As if she was a gourmet meal he just had and Kate is surprised that she is so ready for him again. Anthony looks like sex on a platter so Kate reaches up to his dick imprint and plays with it. "Take these off," she says.

Anthony swiftly removes them and then reaches into his bedside drawer to get a condom. Anthony comes in slow for a kiss and it turns frantic, their mouths and hands all over each other. 

His eyes search hers for a moment "If you change your mind-"

"Not happening," she said before he even finished his sentence.

Kate can't take her eyes off Anthony as his ab muscles jump as he strokes himself once before slowly rolling the condom on as if he can't help it. She definitely can't help herself or keep still. A whimper slips out and Anthony gives her a couple more pecks as he aligns himself at her entrance. He finally slides himself into her with a curse escaping him.

Kate moans and the way he fills her up "Are you ok?" Anthony asked.

"I'm better than ok," Kate said.

"You feel so good Kate better than I thought you would," he said as he kisses her. He pulls back and then enters her again at a different angle and Kate moans louder now, he starts to create a pace as he continues to pound into her faster but steady. 

Kate already feeling the pressure building inside of her lifts her hips to meet his thrusts and Anthony stutters "Are you ok?" Kate asked.

"I will be, probably. But if you continue to grind into me like that, I may not last past a minute,"

"Oh my god," she giggled.

Anthony takes it as a challenge and kisses her before putting his hand on her neck. The movement depicts a sort of dominance that Kate should have seen coming from Anthony. He steers her head to turn and nips at her neck as he pounds into her faster and faster. Kate cannot take the overwhelming sensation anymore, the look in Anthony's eyes is pure lust and she cannot contain herself. She takes one of his hands from her waist and puts one of his fingers in her mouth "Oh my god, Kate" he said but Kate ignores him as she takes his hand and trails it down her body to her centre.

Anthony gets the message as he pounds into her now with one of his hands massaging her clit. They both groan and moan barely intelligible curses as well as "It's never felt like this," "I love you,"

For a few moments, all you can hear are groans and the slap of skin on skin as Anthony pounds into Kate at an unrelenting pace. Eventually, Kate sees white and as she calms down Anthony said "Fuck Kate, I can feel you coming," he whispered with something that sounds like wonder before pressing deep in her, letting out a big groan and then going still.

Anthony climbed off her and took care of the condom in the bathroom before coming back and laying next to Kate, catching their breath. Kate then sat up and said "Well, I have work early in the morning I should get going,"

Anthony quickly sat up and exclaimed, "What?"

Kate turned to him with a smile on her face and Anthony visibly relaxed and said "That's not funny, Kate,"

"Well, I thought it was hilarious. You should have seen your face,"

"Excuse me for being surprised by your immediate interest in leaving my home," Anthony continued "I may not have had a long-term monogamous relationship but even I know there is cuddling after,"

"Cuddling you say?" Kate laid back down "Big spoon or little spoon?" she asked.

Anthony played at thinking it over and said "You get to be little spoon today but only because you are a first-time guest," Anthony laid down and pulled her into his arms.

"So what happens when I'm no longer a first-time guest?" Kate asked.

"Well you are going to have to wait and see," Anthony whispered in her ear before they settled for the night.

--

It's early morning. Kate can just feel the daylight filtering in through the window, climbing the bed and crawling up her stomach. London was having good weather for once.

Anthony's had her pressed down on the bed, her underwear dangling off one ankle, her knee hitched over his shoulder as he ate her out. Kate can honestly say she had never met a man more eager to use his mouth on her than Anthony. Her previous boyfriends did try it but to most of them, it seemed like doing Kate a favour. Even Tom who was a great guy saw cunnilingus as merely a way to prepare Kate for his member. 

Kate and Anthony's first date was Tuesday and yet here Kate was on Saturday being woken up by Anthony again. She had not been apart from him since their first date. Wednesday woke up to leave because she had to get ready for work and after getting back from work she got home to Edwina and Mary and Kate was glad neither woman was home to give her disapproving looks about her being out all night. Worse than disapproving would have been approving cause that would be just gross.

After work and after dinner with Edwina, cause Mary had to work at night so she ate dinner early, Kate finished up her work and then Anthony called. Anthony was still at the office and was on his way back home, Kate was worried because he had not eaten a proper meal all day and Anthony promised to eat if she came with him. Kate said that she couldn't leave her sister unattended because Mary was not home but if he wanted to come over then he could. Anthony accepted.

Kate had never jumped out of bed and out of her pyjamas faster in her life and there was once a day she was 20 minutes late for a test. She moved things around and went to knock on Edwina's door.

"Hey, bon. I invited Anthony over to eat a proper meal is that fine?" Kate asked nervously as she should have consulted with her sister before extending the invite "If you do mind just tell me and I will pack up some food and send him on his way,"

"Already doing lunch boxes for your boyfriend huh?" Edwina asked.

"Eddy," Kate groaned.

"Fine but only if he brings ice cream with him," Edwina said.

"Bon, he is already on his way. I am not asking him that," Kate said with her hands on her hips.

Edwina mirrored her sister's stance and said "I see the way that man looks at you I bet he would buy an ice cream shop if you asked. He brings ice cream or its a no-go,"

Kate was shocked at Edwina's bargaining skills and wondered where she had gotten it from "Fine, I will text him,"

"And I will be here,"

Kate sent Anthony a message asking if he could bring chocolate chip ice cream for her sister and Anthony responded with a thumbs-up and ice cream emoji. She knew he did not like to text and drive so she did not respond. Kate went back to Edwina's room and told her Anthony was going to bring her the ice cream she wanted so promised to be on her best behaviour when he arrived.

When Anthony got to their home he had brought not just ice cream for Edwina but for her and Mary too but because he did not know the flavour she liked he had bought 3 of each flavour. Kate had a taste for the fruitier sweeter ones but Edwina and Mary liked the rich ones so she put the chocolate ones in the fridge and gave Anthony a kiss for his trouble.

Edwina, sat with them as they spoke about Edwina's dancing and how in the beginning Kate was like a momager trying to make sure Edwina succeeded. Anthony noted that he was not surprised about how devoted she was and she smiled, Edwina called them gross and went to her room. Kate was not sure how long she and Anthony had been there but she knew they moved from the dining room to the sofa in the living room and that is where Mary found them asleep.

Mary woke them up and Anthony apologised but Mary was concerned about Anthony driving back to his place at night and insisted he stay the night. Kate's eyes were almost ready to bulge out of her head, this was not a common thing parents would allow in Indian households but Kate thanked Mary but before Kate could lead Anthony to her room, Mary told Anthony he would be sleeping on the sofa. Kate thought that was unfair but after Mary reminded her she slept on a 3/4 bed and Anthony was a full-grown man, the sofa seemed like a better idea. Kate said she would sleep with Mary and Anthony could take her room but Mary said she did not want to share with Kate and her loose limbs and Anthony chuckled.

He removed his waistcoat and proceeded to get ready on the sofa. Kate brought him softer pillows and blankets and when she came to check on him in the middle of the night, he looked so peaceful and handsome that she was glad Mary let him stay over. 

That was Wednesday and on Thursday Anthony, invited Kate to his place so he could cook her dinner like the dinner she had done for him. This time Kate gave her mother and Edwina fair warning that she would not be back and packed her bags for the weekend. She ignored all of Edwina's smug smiling faces as she left for her date with Anthony.

Kate is brought back to the present as Anthony tongues her through her first climax and right into a second one. Her vision whites out and her breath catches. She draws her knees up as he just keeps going. He climbs up her body, pressing wet kisses to her hips and her stomach and her ribs, circling his tongue around each breast in a shrinking spiral until he reaches each nipple. He is then hovering right over her mouth, his lips damp and flushed red. He kisses her, his tongue and teeth parting and plucking at her lips.

"Good morning," He said with a face so sweet Kate smiles wide for so early in the morning.

"Good morning to you too," Kate said.

"I'm really glad I skipped the musicale for this," 

"What musical?" Kate asked confused but still a bit sleepy.

"Not musical. Musicale. The Smythe-Smith Musicale happens almost every 3 months hosted by The Smythe-Smith's they are the most untalented family ever," Anthony groaned as he lay his head on her stomach.

Kate played with his hair "Then why do they host it? And why do people go?"

"Honestly, I have no idea. This thing existed even before my time. I think people just attend because of a tradition now. It's the first time I have not attended since I became the Viscount,"

Kate sat up causing Anthony to have to lift his head "Wait, does your family attend this event every time?"

Anthony looking confused answered "Yes, it's not a big deal though none of my siblings actually like going,"

"Did you RSVP?" Kate asked and Anthony blushed but nodded. Kate got up from the bed and went looking for something to put on. She found his t-shirt first and put it on because this was not a conversation she wanted to have naked.

Anthony got out the bed as well, putting on his discarded boxers "Yes, but that was two months ago, Kate. Why are you upset about this?"

"Anthony, your family were expecting and you used me as an excuse to get out of it without telling me,"

"First I did not use you as an excuse to get out of it and Second I didn't tell you because I did not want you to feel bad about it because it's not a big deal," Anthony said taking Kate's hand

"Anthony, it's fine if you had an event that you had to attend I would have understood, I could have gone out with friends or grabbed dinner with Mary and Edwina," Anthony nodded "Also, what do you mean you did not use me as an excuse?"

"No one knows why I didn't go," Anthony said in a small voice.

"Anthony they are going to put two and two together, you literally put a picture of the two of us on your Instagram stories last night,"

"Why does it matter?" Anthony said exasperated "It's not like I wanted to go,"

"And that's fine IF that was what you told your family in the first place. It looks like you had a choice between them and me and you chose me," Kate said hanging her head with a sigh

"I'll explain it to them," Anthony said gripping her shoulders.

"I just don't want them to think I'm coming in between your relationship. I want them to like me,"

Anthony hugged her "Kate they already like you, okay? There is no need to worry, I will tell them that I should have spoken up sooner but I don't want to go to Smythe-Smithe musicales anymore," Kate sighed and hugged Anthony back "Besides I'm sure my other siblings will be happy to also be able to ditch those events anyways,"

Kate felt a bit of anxiety at his last statement. She knows how fragile family dynamics are and she did not want to be the reason that something that was a normal Bridgerton family tradition was now going to be different because of her. She thought of Violet and how this situation was not going to help warm her up to the idea of Kate and Anthony together.

--

It was now Sunday and Kate was working in Anthony's study because her coworker needed help reading a brief for a case that he was lead on. Having multiple eyes on briefs often led to great discoveries and Kate was still a lower-level solicitor so she always took the opportunity to put her hours in.

Anthony had gone to get them lunch as a nice Sunday lunch meal before she went back home to prepare for the week ahead. She liked staying with Anthony but she did not want to overwhelm him.

That was not the reason why Kate was on edge though. She was on edge because Eloise had popped by a few minutes after Anthony had left and she was now on the sofa.

"How do you like your tea?" Kate asked Eloise.

"Black, two sugars please," Eloise said.

"Okay," Kate said.

When Kate went to put Eloise's tea in front of her, Eloise asked "You're not having any?"

"Oh no, I hate generic English tea. I only really drink chai or coffee. No in-between, unfortunately," Kate left out that that was the main reason Anthony was not here as she had only told him yesterday how she could not stand English tea so he hurried out to get her a chai latte and something for lunch.

"Do you know when Anthony will be back?" Eloise asked as she began to bounce her knee almost nervously.

"Maybe 30 minutes at most. He left his phone here to charge, I guess he didn't think there would be an emergency," Kate said.

"It's not an emergency. Just something time-sensitive,"

"Is there anything I can help with?" Kate asked.

"Not really. I just need Anthony's permission to quit the Debate team," Eloise said.

"Oh," Kate was confused, she knew Eloise was someone who liked to argue, at least according to Anthony and Kate knew that Debate was probably one of the most sort after extracurriculars in students looking to study law "Did something happen?"

"The team just doesn't see my point of view on how to structure our arguments for this upcoming meet,"

"Well, Eloise that is not a reason to quit," 

Eloise stood up now completely agitated "It's not just that, they kept calling all the briefs I wrote 'too aggressive'. This is debate, we are supposed to be passionate,"

"Oh well in my school we had rotational Debate captains so that everyone had a chance to lead the Debate topic-"

"We have the same thing and that's the problem,"

"I'm going to guess that you are not the Captain this time?"

"No, it's the witch Jessica Doring, she does not like me and refuses to take my ideas into consideration,"

"I mean I understand but is the rest of the team having an issue with this Jessica as Captain?" Kate asked.

"No, it's just me,"

"Have there been other Captains you have not gotten along with?"

"Maybe at first but most of them come around to my opinions eventually," Eloise said hands on her hips.

"I see..." Kate said "Eloise, it seems less like Jessica is a specific problem and more like she is an immovable object, unlike the other previous Captains. She refuses to be pushed over by you,"

"I do not push people. You sound like Penelope!" Eloise exclaimed.

"Okay, so it seems this is not an observation that I am alone in," Kate continued "Is Jessica an unintelligent student?"

"No, she's third in the grade,"

"Does she have a reason to sabotage your school's Debate team?" Kate asked.

"No," Eloise said quieter.

"Then maybe can you imagine for a second that she thinks what she is doing is the right way?" Kate asked.

"But what if she is wrong?" Eloise asked.

"Then she is wrong and as the captain that will be on her and you have to learn how to be a team player,"

"Why does everyone keep saying that?" Eloise huffed and Kate let her be "I can't wait until I become a solicitor so I don't have to be a team player anymore,"

Kate sighed "Eloise you can't do things alone, especially law. You are not an endless island. All this argumentative behaviour is nothing but words if it doesn't come with action and for there to be action you need people," Kate continued "You need the numbers if you want to make an impact and you cannot do it all alone in your tower. Thousands of hours go into winning cases, you think one person can do all of that? Have you ever thought that Jessica wants to be a solicitor too and that she could be beside you on the bench one day and you would need her to pull her weight and play her part so that you can pull through on the day? Build up a community especially of women because it's not easy doing all of this alone,"

Eloise sighed "Maybe you are right,"

"I know I'm right. I'm living proof, the only reason I am even out of bed right now is because I had to look through briefs for a case I'm not even the lead on. You want to know why?"

"You want to win?" Eloise supplied.

"No. Well, yes but because the lead solicitor couldn't do it on his own and as a team player his wins are mine,"

"It's just no one listens to me outside of academia. I don't like feeling like I have to be silent to thrive,"

"It's not about being silent. You just told me she turned down your ideas so she did hear them she just did not agree with them. That's not the same thing. If she is as smart as you said then maybe she has an idea for how to approach the topic and she just needs your brain on that strategy,"

"So I just give in?"

"It's not about giving up or giving in. It's about being a...?"

"Team player," Eloise finished reluctantly.

"Look when your brother gets back, feel free to tell him you want to quit but I just want to point out that THAT would be giving in," Kate said as she stood up to refresh Eloise's tea.

----

Present:

"I'm not going to lie to you brother I am not sure what I am more surprised by, that you texted me to help you out or that you ask me to meet you in a chapel," Eloise said as she slowly walked in and then sat down in the opposite side of the aisle.

"You shouldn't be surprised El, you are the best escape artist in the family," Anthony said trying to smile at her.

"Weren't you the one who always told me that it would not do good to run away from my problems?" Eloise asked with a quirked eyebrow.

"Yes well this is different," Anthony said looking down.

Eloise nodded "Yes it is. I was escaping ballrooms, you are escaping the hospital. Two different types of scenarios," Eloise said as she gestured using her pointing fingers.

"El, I am your older brother and you have to listen to me,"

"I don't have to do anything. Especially not after the stunt you pulled," Eloise said rising from her seat.

"It was an accident, Eloise. I am not a doctor how was I supposed to know different medications would have these effects?"

Eloise huffed "That's not EVEN what I am talking about," Anthony was confused so Eloise continued "I am talking about the stunt you pulled at Daphne's baby shower,"

Anthony sighed "I was under a lot of stress,"

"Brother I have watched you juggle 7 kids, for years and not break a sweat but your ex was around for a couple of months and you're basically imploding," Eloise sighed "You never told any of us why you and Kate broke up,"

"That's no one's business," Anthony said.

"You're still protecting her? Wow," Eloise said as she made to leave.

Anthony got up after her "You know what mom did?"

"No, but I put two and two together. She was the only one happy when Kate broke up with you. Plus you were never really good at standing up to her,"

"That's not true El. I went toe to toe with Mother all the time,"

"Not with enough conviction. Ever since Dad died you have treated Mum with kid gloves. Like you make one wrong move and she'll break,"

"That's because she did break after Dad died. I don't know if you remember?" Anthony remarked.

"What I remember is you becoming a parent to everyone, including her," Anthony sighed and Eloise continued "You take care of us. You take of Mum. Who takes care of you?"

"I'm fine El," Anthony said.

Eloise took a seat in the last row before the doors and said "No, you're not. And that's okay. You can't do it all alone, Ant. You're not an island. We should not have let you do it by yourself all these years but starting now I'm not going to be a part of the problem,"

"What does that mean?" Anthony said looking at his sister.

Eloise pulled her brother in for an embrace and said "It means you are staying. Give me 10 minutes to get rid of Mum and then go back to your room. Get better the hard way. No meds. No ignoring a well-educated doctor's advice,"

Anthony pulled back and asked, "What about the rest of our siblings?"

"Almost all of us are near adults. I think it's time we learnt how to take care of our own problems,"

"Thanks, El," Anthony said and Eloise sighed.

She made to leave but before she closed the door behind her turned and said "I think mum wasn't just afraid of Kate because of her background. When you were with Kate you were... selfish. If Kate entered our family, the dynamics we had set up would have to change and that's a scary thing, especially for Mum,"

"Wow, El. The University of London should just give you your degree because you have it all figured out,"

Eloise shrugged "Nah. I just got good guidance once,"

"And that's all it took?"

Eloise shrugged "That's all it took,"

When the recital began Kate found it difficult to focus on the singers. All she could feel was Anthony's eyes on her, a penetrating intensity that stirred a deep sensation within her. She hadn't even glanced to see if he was watching but she could feel it. It was the same gaze he had been directing towards her ever since she left him standing there, after his confession, to fetch Mary from the entrance.

Mary must have seen him staring because she waved him over. There was a stilted conversation until Daphne found Anthony and told them all they should probably take their seats.

Kate slightly shifted in her seat as she tried to change to a more comfortable position as she was more aware of her sitting stance. 

"Honey, you should just go to the bathroom with all of that squirming," Mary whispered to Kate.

"I don't need to pee, Mary," Kate whispered.

"Really? I can't tell due to your behaviour. Are you on edge about something?" Mary asked "Does it have anything to do with the Bridgerton boy and his puppy dog eyes,"

"Shhh Mary," Kate hushed Mary as she looked around "If you must know I am a little on edge after the conversation I had with Anthony earlier,"

"Ahh so he finally told you about his feelings," Mary said.

"You knew" Kate turned to Mary and the woman next to her shushed her.

"Honey, he was quite obvious. I just thought you were not ready because of all that business with Tom," Mary shrugged.

"It is not about that,"

"Then what is it about?" Mary asked.

Kate did not have an answer.

Kate was snapped back into the present when Anthony barged into the bathroom. "What the hell are you doing?" Kate exclaimed.

Anthony visibly winced at her tone but shook it off "Are you well?"

Kate recognised the concern etched on his face and softened "I am well," she replied.

There was no denying it, Anthony's proximity to her in such a private space had a profound effect on her. She struggled to comprehend the whirlwind of emotions he brought out in her. She wanted to say something to him but for the first time in a long time, Kate Sharma had no words.

Anthony sighed "Kate... I feel I should apologise,"

"It's fine Anthony there is nothing to apologise for," Kate did want him to take back what he had confessed to her earlier.

"And yet I must. I made a mistake-"

"Don't Anthony. Don't say anything about what you said earlier 'being a mistake'," she hung her head.

"I do not think what I said earlier was a mistake," Anthony said matter-of-factly. Kate's head shot up to look at him and he sighed "I just wish I had held on a little longer. I definitely did not wish for you to be so uncomfortable during your sister's performance,"

"Anthony it's fine, really, I-"

"Kate I must get this out," he took a breath and said "These feelings I have for you, I thought they would pass. I thought they would lessen but they haven't. I know you are spoken for and I know you despise me but I only wished for you to know. Mostly I wanted you to hear it from me. In my own words. I love you Kate Sharma and I am not hiding it anymore,"

Kate had been holding her breath. She wasn't sure for how long but as Anthony finished his speech she let out a long-awaited breath. For a while, there was nothing in the room but silence and Anthony must have taken Kate's silence as an answer because he made to leave. Kate had a burst of courage when she said "Anthony wait," He turned to look at her "I'm not spoken for," Kate internally kicked herself for focusing on that particular part of his speech "I mean. Me and Tom broke up... And I don't hate you," Anthony looked like he was holding his breath "I don't hate you so much I'm purposely late so we can get into spats about our differences in modes of travel. I don't hate you so much I have put far too much investment in my appearance these days. I don't hate you so much that I broke up with my very safe boyfriend because I would rather have your attention than his," Kate said with tears welling in her eyes.

Anthony walked up to her. He moved a loose curl from her eyes and Kate's breathing sped up "You broke with Tom because of me?" She was too afraid about what her voice would sound like at the moment so she just nodded "Why didn't you say anything?"

"Why didn't you?" Kate asked suddenly shy "I am not the one with a long romantic track record,"

Anthony lifted her face and Kate got a look into his eyes as he said "Kate, what I feel for you is otherwordly compared to what I have felt for other women," Kate scoffed and he said "I'm not exaggerating here. I talk about you all the time, I look for you in all rooms, Mary caught me sniffing you the other day,"

"What?" Kate giggled.

Anthony leaned in and sniffed her. Kate held her breath "The scent that lingers on you. I don't know what is but it has been driving me nuts for months,"

Anthony leaned out and they were nose to nose when the bathroom door swung open, startling them both. It was Edwina who stood in the doorway, her gaze shifting between the two of them.

"There's a key on the inside if you want privacy. I'll use the other loo," Edwina offered, her voice filled with a mix of amusement and understanding, before retreating.

Kate's senses snapped back to reality, and she quickly stepped backwards, creating a physical and metaphorical distance between herself and Anthony. She shook her head, attempting to dispel the intense thoughts that consumed her mind.

In that fleeting moment, the potential for something electrifying had hung in the air.

"When did you break up with Tom?" Anthony asked.

"Last month," Kate replied.

"Good. He wasn't right for you," Anthony replied.

"What gives you the right to decide who is and isn't right for me?" Kate asked scoffing.

"It's not about him. It's about me. I think I'm the right one for you," Anthony replied as Kate locked eyes with him and he entered her space again. Anthony took hold of her neck and brought their foreheads together.

"These feelings. I have been plagued by them for months now," she whispered.

"We should do something about it," he whispered near her ear.

Anthony pulled Kate's head to his and their lips met softly.

The world around Kate faded into the background as their kissing intensified. Their bodies pressed against each other, the head between them rising with every passing second. Anthony's hands roamed her back, sending shivers down her spine. She let out a soft moan, giving Anthony's tongue entrance. Her fingers threaded through the soft locks of his hair, pulling him even closer. His tongue danced with hers, exploring her mouth and igniting a fire within her that he had never experienced before.

It was then that a person burst through the door. It was Daphne.

Kate and Anthony startled apart but Anthony held onto Kate's waist "I knew I was forgetting something,"

"Your sister's recital?" Daphne asked with a quirked eyebrow.

"To lock the door," Anthony said with a bit of a growl that caused a shiver through Kate.

Daphne turned her shit-eating grin from Anthony to Kate and softened "Kate, Mary is looking for you. Intermission is almost over and Edwina's set is up next,"

Kate realised and made her way to leave. She was going to miss the warmth of Anthony's body but she would hate herself if she missed Edwina's performance. Anthony grabbed a hold of her hand and Kate looked at him "I know. Later," she said.

"Later," Anthony said in confirmation.

Kate left the bathroom.

-----

It had been a week since the recital and Kate was finally going on a date with Anthony. A proper first date. Anthony was going to be picking her up from Mary's place and Kate tried not to act nervous.

"Oooooh I'm so excited for you, didi" Edwina said as she floated around the room with barrels of excitement.

"Thanks, bon," Kate said smiling at her sister.

"Kate there is nothing to be nervous about. Anthony is in love with you already. All of this date stuff is merely a formality," Mary said as she rubbed soothing circles on Kate's back.

"I know. I know. I just really want this to be good," Kate said.

"I mean I'm sure you guys will end up making out again," Edwina said.

"Edwina!" "Ed!" Kate and Mary both exclaimed.

"What do you know about making out?" Kate asked.

"Well, not a lot really. Only what I've read from books but Franny said that her sister caught you and Anthony making out in the bathroom at the recital," Edwina said shrugging.

"So that's where you disappeared off to," Mary said giving Kate a curious gaze. Anthony was right she definitely got her gaze from Mary.

"You knew I went to the bathroom," Kate said shyly.

"To calm down not to lock lips with a Viscount," Mary.

"Please do not say 'lock lips'," Edwina said with a grossed-out look on her face.

Mary seemed to ignore Edwina's remark and asked "Was it good?"

Kate stood up "Okay we are not discussing this,"

The doorbell rang.

-----

"I'm really sorry Kate," Anthony said as he squeezed her hand.

"It's fine Ant, I have family too, I understand," Kate answered.

"It's just going to be a quick stop at the family house and then we can get back to our date," He said.

Anthony and Kate were on the way to the restaurant when he got a call from Hyacinth, his youngest sister, about an emergency at home. Kate knew how much of a soft spot Anthony had for his youngest sister because he had basically raised her. Kate always thought she and Edwina were close so it was a relationship she understood. Kate in a lot of ways also replaced her father, he was the one who put on his fighting face for his girls and Kate was glad that she could fill that space for Edwina and Marry in his absence.

When Anthony's car pulled up into the driveway of his family home, Kate audibly gasped. She smacked Anthony's arm and said "You told me it was a house, not a mansion,"

"It's not a mansion... It's an estate," Anthony said and Kate rolled her eyes.

"Oh my bad, my lord," Kate said giggling.

Anthony stopped the car and turned to her "Please don't call me that,"

"Does it bother you, my lord?" Kate said in a soft whisper causing Anthony's eyes to darken.

"Nevermind I like it," He leaned over the gap to get closer to her and they kissed. It was soft not as lustful as the previous kiss they shared but Kate liked it.

It was then that Anthony's mother, Violet knocked on the window of the driver's side.

"Oh, Anthony thank you for coming. Hyacinth is bouncing off the walls and refuses to bathe or sleep without you," Violet said as Kate and Anthony got out of the car "Oh Miss Sharma, I did not know you would be here too,"

"I told you about my date with Kate tonight, Mother," Anthony said.

"Well, I am not sure about that but all the while it is nice to see you again dear," Violet said smiling in her direction.

Kate would never admit it but the smiles Violet Bridgerton gave her always put her on edge. The smiles although polite made Kate feel like Violet was putting on a show.

"It's nice to see you again Lady Bridgerton," Kate said as she walked up to Anthony.

"Oh please call me Violet," she said.

Kate smiled and nodded "Mother where is Hyacinth now?" Anthony asked.

"She's upstairs. Don't worry I will organise a car for Kate to get home," Violet said.

Kate and Anthony looked at each other awkwardly. Anthony tightened his hold on Kate's waist and said "Me and Kate are actually only going to stop by quickly, mother. We are going out afterwards,"

"Oh. Well, that is fine dear, go on up and see Hyacinth and I will tend to Kate," Violet said as she gestured them into the house.

Kate had never felt more awkward a day in her life. Violet kept sipping her tea and giving Kate weak smiles while Kate sipped at the bland English tea provided. Considering Kate was a first-time guest she did not dare to ask if there was any other tea available so she just tried not to make a face after every sip.

Kate did not know what she would talk about with a rich titled housewife. This was not her expertise, in fact, Kate spent most of her time on the antagonist end of people like her.

Just when Kate thought she should break the silence Eloise and Francesca walked into the drawing room.

"Mother, Hy is being a right old pain. Is there any way I could go to Pen's to study?" Eloise asked as she walked. She and Franny saw Kate sitting there so Kate waved. She felt silly.

"Hi," Kate said softer than her usual tone.

"Hi," Eloise said with her eyes narrowing "What are you doing here?" Eloise asked and Francesca bumped her with her elbow "What? It's not like Kate is the normal mid-week company,"

"Uh, your brother and I were actually on our way out actually," Kate said.

"Like a date?" Francesca asked eyes wide.

"No dear," "Yeah kind of," Violet and Kate both spoke at the same time and Kate looked at Violet and then looked away.

Eloise looked from her mother to Kate and then her eyes narrowed at her mother "I'm surprised you would actually give someone like my brother the time of day. Considering your little lawsuit and endeavours go against everything he does,"

Kate could see Francesca stiffen and Kate chuckled "You are right about that but I like to think my activities and endeavours have influenced your brother into better decisions,"

"I mean isn't it exhausting having to explain your experience to someone like him. Wouldn't you feel better dating someone your own speed?" Kate stiffened at that.

This is not an uncommon thought that has plagued Kate's mind for a while but all she had to do was think about her stepmother and then she spoke "Explaining your existence to someone who is not willing to hear you is exhausting. At the end of the day, that is what dating is, laying yourself bare to someone and them doing the same..." Kate took a breath "Would it be easier to date someone of my own race or social class? Yes but unless they too have two dead biological parents and were raised by their stepmother and were immigrants and lawyers then I would still be explaining myself at least this way I'm doing it with someone who I-" 'want to kiss badly? want to stay in bed with all day?' Kate did not know how to answer.

"I get it," Francesca said. Everyone turned to her "You and Anthony seemed to get on well and he is a lot harder on us to do well in school now, like those parents you see on TV,"

"Yeah," Eloise agreed.

"I used to think that stuff didn't matter because we had money but as I've been around you and your sister, Edwina, I have realised that having ambition is not a bad thing," Francesca said strongly.

"I'm glad. If there is one thing your brother prides himself on is his siblings' abilities. He thinks you are all so capable and he has giant dreams for you," Kate said getting a bit emotional because she understands that love Anthony has for his siblings but unlike Kate, Anthony was never good at expressing it out loud.

"He said that?" Eloise asked eyes wide.

"Yes. Last month he swallowed his pride and had to admit I was a good solicitor so he asked me all the things that it would take to be a good one, all the societies I was a part of, the grades I maintained and how I applied to universities and law school. I'm pretty sure he did that for you," Kate said.

Eloise visibly swallowed "Thanks for telling me that,"

"Of course," Kate said.

Violet got up at that moment in an effort to get Francesca and Eloise back into their rooms.

Just as Kate settled alone in the drawing room, Eloise walked back in.

"If my mother asks, I just came back to fetch this book," Eloise said as she picked up a random book off the table.

"Sure," Kate said.

"Kate, I want to be honest with you. My mother put me up to it,"

"Put you up to what?" Kate asked cautiously.

"The blunt questions I asked you earlier. I was curious myself that's why I went along with her but she wanted me to ask. I don't think she thinks you are suitable," Eloise said not being able to meet Kate's eye.

"Oh," Kate said. I guess her uneasiness around the matriarch was warranted.

Eloise and Kate's heads turned to the door when they heard Eloise's name being called.

"For what it's worth, I think you are good for him. I mean you make him sickenly happy but you also make him a better person. I think our family has gotten so used to complacency that we forgot what fun it can be to try," Eloise said.

"Thank you," Kate said and she made to hug Eloise who returned it, although not as enthusiastically.

It was all Kate could think about once she and Anthony left his family home. Violet may not have been jumping for joy to see Anthony dating Kate, maybe it was because of the suit she brought to the school, but it did put Eloise and Francesca's admissions on probation. Although Anthony was able to move on from it, in fact, it got both girls to work harder and were in a better place in school than they had ever been.

That being said it was hard to linger on feelings of inadequacy as Anthony grabbed and kissed her hand throughout dinner. As he whispered funny dad jokes in her ear. His hand on her thigh worked itself higher and higher until he had his hand basically on the apex of her thighs. He squeezed and Kate had to stifle a moan. Now she knew why he insisted on them sitting side by side at the table.

"Do you want to get out of here?" Kate whispered.

"Uh," Anthony blushed

Kate chuckled "Don't tell me you are shy now, my lord?"

Anthony growled at the use of his title and Kate felt her temperature rising "I don't know Kate. I don't want to take advantage. I want to do the proper thing here," Anthony said.

"Well, you should have thought of that before you used my thigh as a stress ball," Kate said and sighed "Anthony, do you want to sleep with me?" she asked.

"Yes. Of course, yes," Anthony said.

"Then let's not make it any more complicated than it needs to be. We love each other and we are both super fit so what's the issue?" Kate asked.

"Nothing," Anthony said with a smile and then he chuckled.

After paying the bill and getting into Anthony's car. Kate laughed to herself "You know this is the first time I've had to convince a man to sleep with me,"

Anthony who was driving faster than necessary said "Trust me, Kate, your legs are all a man needs,"

"Well, what about my face?" Kate said in a pretend pout.

"Perfect," Anthony said as a confession

Kate reached over to give Anthony a kiss on the cheek and he jeered off a bit "Anthony watch the road,"

"I'm trying everything I can to just watch the road here," he groaned out.

"Maybe I should just stick to my side of the car,"

"Maybe you should, temptress," Anthony said.

-----

Present:

Anthony was not a religious guy. In fact, most people he knew only maintained religious mirages for appearances. Easter and Christmas churchgoers but Anthony was not raised super religious. You see his grandfather, the Seventh Viscount Bridgerton, was not exactly the nicest man. He was awful to his father and uncle because of their supposed bad behaviour, which coupled with his overly religious beliefs made him quite the beloved patriarch of the peerage. So when Edmund Bridgerton welcomed his first son, he vowed to never force them to be anything but themselves. Of course, it made it tough for him to be a disciplinarian but the Eighth Viscount had something his predecessor never had: his children's respect. None of the children did anything too bad because they feared their father's disapproval and they loved and respected their father, they would never want to disappoint him.

Yes, Edmund Bridgerton was a hard man to disappoint, that was until he died. 

And Anthony thinks he has been disappointing him ever since. Lately, he has been feeling like it might be a good thing his father was not here to see him now.

So why was he in one of the chapels in the hospital? Avoiding his mother of course. She refused to talk about what he had overheard between her and Siena and Anthony had ordered her out. She refused to leave and for the first time in his life, he threatened his mother. It did not feel good and as she left he thought he would feel triumph but...

His mother was not his favourite parent, she never was. He knew she loved him and he loved her but Anthony valued his father more. There was a genuine nature in the way Edmund conducted his life. He apologised when he was wrong even to his youngest of children, he spoke politely and gently with everyone of every background and he never cared if the things his children did were embarrassing or out of the norm.

15-year-old Benedict coming out as Bisexual? Easy. 11-year-old Daphne wanting to commit to ballet? Sure. 6-year-old Eloise declaring herself a vegetarian? Sure. He even joined her. For a week.

His mother, on the other hand, was the opposite of genuine. Where her father was open and honest, his mother was secretive and cunning. Her kindness was only offered to those she knew, everyone else got a strained sort of politeness. He noticed with random people but it only came to the foreground of his mind when Kate came into the picture. She would be slow to smile, warn him more about appearances and stare at Kate which often made him want to ask what her problem was. But he never did. In a lot of ways, those first few moments of Violet disrespecting not just Kate but their relationship should have been a sign and he should have stopped his mother then and there.

He never did because he always thought if Kate had a real problem she would come to him but also Anthony thought his mother would see how happy he was and back off. She was always pestering him about getting into a relationship anyway.

If Anthony was honest with himself it made sense as to why he ended up in the chapel. Literally, he asked the nurse for a private place to think and they gave him the keys to the chapel, he was a high-profile patient so he really could do whatever but figuratively, Anthony needed divine intervention.

He had to switch psychiatrists because the first one was Kate's recommendation and she reminded him too much of Kate after their breakup. The second one was prominent amongst the peerage but then he got busted for basically running a pill mill. The third one was too invested in Anthony letting go of some of his family responsibilities and the last one was a good fit but she was young and after she texted him a little too flirtatious Anthony gave up. He still had full prescriptions from each of his doctors and he figured it wasn't a big deal. He didn't do therapy before so he would be good now right? And if he was having trouble sleeping then he could take one of the sleeping pills from his prescription.

He told Siena he was going to sessions when really he was either at the gym or having a drink at the club. Well, one bad month turned into another and Anthony started popping sleeping pills to even take naps and when that stopped working he moved over to a different prescription. He thought it was harmless, he thought all sleeping pills were alike. Well, he now knows that not all pills gel well and he ended up face down, alone, in his apartment for hours until his mother found him. 

He felt bad for scaring his family and his mother said with his permission they would be able to visit him but he did not think he could deal with their emotions on top of his own so he told his mother, Simon and anyone else who checked in on the family group chat that they can see him when he gets discharged.