Sketchy

i could say a million things musing about ai in the art world, as well as the morality of copying. but to say it takes NO EFFORT? you think copying an image to paper, by hand, is NO EFFORT? the worst part is this guy had clearly homemade art on his page.

HOW DO YOU NOT KNOW HOW HARD IT IS TO DRAW!!

it really does start to feel like asexuality..... but yet, i HAVE shipped before. i shipped/still ship homestuck characters. i think crowley and aziraphael WOULD be very cute together, and same with phoenix wright and miles edgeworth. so, what is it? am i just not always _invested_ enough in a character to care? is it how the romance was written? am i only weak to gay couples?

that isnt to say i dont feel still feel bad, but..... im hoping no one else actually even remembers those.

anyway, a lot time ago i finally felt the grip homestuck had on me loosen. id been hardcore into it for years straight-- something like 7 years? to the point that when i finally felt myself calm at the idea of it again, i no longer knew what i could possibly draw other than homestuck.

that was at least a year ago, now... and in all the time since, i liked things, but i didnt feel PASSIONATE about anything anymore. until now.

the amazing digital circus has me. what do i do?? 😭 i feel like the term is immature somehow, but it really is perfect -- this is brainrot. so many things remind me of these characters, and all i can feel is an excited urge to see them more and more. i spent hours watching clips, analyses, theories, behind the scenes... by the time i finally managed to wrench myself away, i felt drunk. absolutely saturated in tadc. my brain was teeming with jax and pomni, with dread and anticipation at who would inevitably abstract next. i felt it all slowly dripping off of me again as the seconds passed away from the screen. i was in awe of my own brain and its power to, once again, latch onto something so inconsequential so strongly.

should i force myself to step back?? how cringe is this, really? do i practice self control and limit my obsession with these silly and tragic little circus dwellers before those around me end up sick of it?

or... should i embrace it? seek out and devour all the content i can find while i still feel the ecstasy? be the weird, immature goof i want to be and risk making not just others, but myself sick of it?