alexander ^_^

analysis

the whole song is filled with this utter bitterness and distain for his ex-wife. this song came out after the Georgie Fruit albums, and Kevin has stated that this album, and everything after, is no longer filtered through a persona; this is Kevin Barnes singing about Nina, his ex-wife. the whole song has this theme of pessimism and resignation. they know that their marriage has decomposed. ("theres no point even pretending, you know the sad truth as well as i.")

intro the delicate piano and wailing strings contrasted against the angry drum fill at the start help set the tone of the song, which is only bolstered by the vocals entering. Kevin's use of profanity so early in the song, as well as his delivery being less like singing and closer to a melodic speaking tone, is a strong choice to start a song. it can easily start to sound cheesy, but Kevin's genuine conviction makes it sound good.

in the intro, Kevin establishes his pessimism and how fed up he is with Nina, as well as the world in general. he says that nothing changes between them until something bad enough forces them to reconsider what they're doing. kevin has a desperate need for a break and to be alone. ("i cant function unless im the only one awake.")

verse 1 the first verse is about Nina using the l-word (love) against him to ensnare him. this, combined with his attraction to her, namely her eyes, means he cannot bring himself to leave her. ("that forbidden word you deform to handicap me, then abuse your advantage..." "...cuz your eyes are an agent of darkness.")

the section between the verse and chorus is notably quieter than the rest of the song. here, Kevin sounds tired which, when paired with the lyrics, seems like a portrayal of him shutting down during an argument. ("there's nothing to fight, its just a little fait accompli.") fait accompli is a french saying, which is used when there is only one option available, leaving only one course of action.

chorus one of my favorite parts of this song is the way the choruses progress. the first chorus is angry, but still controlled. by the end of the song, Kevin's vocals become unrestricted in their hatred. he is living as a shell of who he used to be, barely able to function. ("i spend my waking hours haunting my own life.")

their household is ruled by chaos and pain. they are constantly fighting and attacking each other. in fact, Kevin finds joy in the pain he inflicts. despite this hatred, Kevin knows that the way they handle their conflicts and relationship is not how they should. ("i made the one i love start crying tonight, and it felt good." "still, there must be a more elegant solution.")

post-chorus 1 because of the constant fighting, disdain, and general negativity, Kevin is engaging in self-destructive behavior. he knows that what hes doing, both to Nina and himself, is wrong and that he should be ashamed of himself. ("lately, im rotted in the filth of self-offered agonies that really should fill me with shame..." Kevin uses 'manic energy' to describe what he feels instead of shame. i can see manic energy either describing him experiencing definition mania or him feeling a general insanity. i think this because many terms, in this case maniac, are used interchangeably to describe being insane. no matter what he meant, the same point is made: he is not ashamed of his actions. ("...but all i have is this manic energy.")

bridge Kevin feels like hes become nothing but a source of pain and evil towards Nina. He's fed up with it, implying that Nina supported furthered this thought process, possibly through harsh criticism or comparing him to other people or lovers. ("i lost my patience being the black stamp disciple in your heart collage.")

the couple knows that they need to talk about their issues and have heavy conversations. Kevin talks about their "corinthian characters", which is based on the corinthians in the bible. the city of corinth was portrayed as being commercial, hedonistic, and heavily sexual. this implies that the pair were cheating on eachother and having sex with other people.

though they know they need to, the pair don't know to approach their conflicts well, but they do know previous attempts have failed. Kevin uses the term disembowel to describe either removing or, what i think is more likely, dissect their actions and behaviors. he also uses the word stratagem which, while similar, is not the same as strategy. a stratagem specifically relies on deception to achieve a goal, such as the trojan horse. ("...devise new stratagems to disembowel our corinthian characters.")

post chorus 2

Kevin is conflicted on how he feels about Nina. throughout the song, it is implied that there is still some sort of attraction or interest that makes the two hesitant to split. there are also small moments of kindness and decency, however they are so rare that Kevin is distrustful of their sincerity. he also recognizes that these moments of humanity are pushing him. they make him stay, and cause him to remain somewhat civil, stretching his boundaries and tolerance to everything else wider. ("i know im upside-down about you." "your kindness feels like blasphemy or some sick education on the limits of humanity...")

Kevin hates his marriage. he knows its supposed to be a sacred connection of people, but equates it to "victorian garbage." while marriage or marriage-like celebrations hasve been a long established tradition in various cultures, the victorian era is when many conventions, such as wearing white dresses, honeymoons, and being consensually married in the name of love instead having them arranged for money or power, became widespread. i think he's specifically referring to dishonoring the practice of marrying someone you love, because he can't say that he loves Nina anymore. To profane is to disrespect and/or disregard something sacred. ("...so i profane the laws of some victorian garbage...")

the last part of the sentence talks about Nina smashing up his studio, which can have a couple meanings. it could be her literally destroying his studio, or more symbolic of her destroying his possessions and parts of him. alternatively, it could be a more convoluted connection. Nina is not physically destroying his studio, rather, Kevin blames her for his actions. this could be Kevin literally breaking parts of his setup or 'smashing up' being used to describe him playing music. in a less literal sense, this could refer to him destroying parts of himself and having general outbursts and raging. ("...and listen to you smashing up my studio again."

post chorus 3

at this point, Kevin can't take anything else; all he can feel is loathing and emotional exhaustion. the only thing he knows how to express is anger. the things he says are hateful and should not be something any human being should feel, especially not about the one they love. "lately, all i can produce is psychotic vitriol that really should fill me with guilt, but all i have is asthmatic energy."

outro

the song ends in every instrument crescendoing and culminating in a single note on a piano. there is a very quiet continuation of drums and Kevin saying something that sounds like "there's no need to fight about it." this outro seems like a parallel to the interlude between the first verse and chorus, as it has a loud/quiet idea that represents a shut down during an argument. however, this outro is much tenser than the original section with the dynamic. the quiet part afterwards makes me think of someone trying to have the last word after an argument.

conclusion

this song is an emotionally charged look at one half of a mutually toxic marriage. its raw, angry, vulnerable, and provides a window into a head of hate. it focuses on the malice that can be between two people, but still acknowledges that every hurricane has an eye.