it ebbs and flows

it'd probably have to be some sort of freak accident or rapid onset illness (liiiike explosive diarrhea? 👀) because he's on the younger side of the Senate's average age (here read: not obviously a lich or undead), but honestly? I'm willing to hope. I'm filled with optimism. anything could happen ✨

this cnn story includes a photo of Mitch and his wife Elaine, and supposedly quotes from the turtle man himself

...which is very interesting, compared to the information blackout we've had up until now.

if he was fine, why didn't he say anything sooner? why all the mystery?? why didn't Elaine just announce that he'd fallen and he was in recovery, as opposed to what we heard about a cardiac event???

1. Check that you have good access to shade trees, a shelter custom made to fit you and all your friends, and plenty of good airflow

2. Find the hottest, sunniest, and least windy part of you pasture and lay down

3. Make sure you look as much as possible like you have died of heatstroke

4. Get your friends in on it