Si

All I want to do is focus on myself. And love myself first. Learn to live by myself before I learn to live with someone else.

I don't want to get in a relationship with someone else before I'm in a relationship with myself.

The only reason I was crazy about getting into a relationship or in love at first was because everyone around me has been telling me that relationships are a must. That you should be in a relationship. That just because I am single means that I'm in lack because I don't have a relationship.

But being single doesn't mean being in lack.

Being in a relationship doesn't mean you're fulfilled.

Lack and fulfilment does not come from outside objects, titles, people.

It's a characteristic of yourself.

It's about you .

Being single doesn't automatically mean you're fulfilled or lacking. Similarly people in relationships can still be unfulfilled.

Contentment comes from self.

I can be by myself and completely fulfilled and I can exist in the same state even in a relationship.

I don't "have to stay single" or "get into a relationship" in order to experience fulfillment.

I although right now feel like being with myself first . Loving and learning myself before I do the same for someone else.

And whether it be coming from myself and platonic relationships or from romantic relationships, love is love.

I can build intimacy with myself if that is what I'm missing from romance. I can get intimate with myself, with the universe. And I don't need to follow guides or rituals in order to experience intimacy and pleasure. A simple intention followed by some action is enough.

I don't need instagram influencers telling me what to do . I don't want to be told what to do.

I know everything I do is right. Without second guessing.

But the thrill of it had me going

The way you would trigger me

That especially had me rowing

The boat that would eventually fall off the cliff

And I would leave you in it

I know how to heal from a wound that was never mine

Been there, done that, ever since I was a child

Even though I radiate softness and light

It only breaks from toughness

And the dark of the night