Tumbled Over

So it's been quite an ever-changing, up-then-down-then-up-again sort of past few months that made this one year plus. Everything is in flux again. I keep thinking it's about to settle and just then something else occurs. I'm making it sound dramatic and sinister. It's not. Alhamdulillah. I'm the mother of a 16 month old child who knows her mind, is opinionated about her clothes, food intake and her preferred form of entertainment. I've created a monster. It's fun negotiating with her on a daily, hourly, minutely basis. It's exhausting. But thrilling. It's a good bubble to exist in. Every now and again a window opens up connecting me back to a time before Nusaybah (BN? can I say that? Please don't crucify me.) So yeah BN times were great too and sometimes there's a part of me trying to reconcile these two phases of life and hoping to fuse it seamlessly. It's not entirely possible. She takes priority. She always will so maybe I should just go with that now. I'm fortunate to have supportive family and friends that accept the status quo and encourage me in whatever way they can to be more than a mum. Somewhere amongst all if this I performed Hajj. I'll write about that soon. I haven't talked about it enough I know that much. Who do I talk to it about? Life is moving even now. Nothing stops even if you try to just to reflect. It's moving in the way when you're on a ride and look in a different direction than the way the ride is moving and it all gets more confusing and dizzy. But I don't want it to stop. I just want it to slow down a little so I could reflect, discuss, digest and then progress. It seems there's no time for that.

It's been a while. Where have you been? Sorry I just got held up by life. Alhamdulillah in all situations. I have so very much to be grateful for. I hope the boys are able to bridge the gap and fill the dad-sized hole they had in their lives. It's a glaring hole we know. Given no choice you get used to it, walk past it as if it's a construction site showing great promise of the future. The future. Fast approaching realities of life including being 50% responsible for a life. A human. This is going to be interesting. I had a cyber pet once. Okthenbye

Life in flux.