ICEBURG ! RIGHT AHEAD ! ( ap. )

I am completely revamping this blog and I’m gonna get back into it. I am creating a new blog for James. I have done a lot of research in the last few days and I actually found new information that I didn’t know that actually.... really changes my characterization. So, I’m going to do that now... everybody just hang tight

HEY GUYS! LONG TIME NO SEE - I just wanted to drop by and tell you guys what’s been happening because my hiatus has been a really long time. I never lost my muse, just really lost the motivation to live my life normally after what happened. I had my you know what and I am feeling really renewed and refreshed and I feel safe coming back on and getting threads done now. 

For those of you who wish to stay in contact with me, please DM me and I’ll send you my number ( for those of you with iPhones, I use messenger but I have limited texting ), and/or facebook

YES. I did make James on sims. 

--- IT TOOK A LONG TIME TO FIND WHERE SHE LIVES. finally, he had seen a shop with her name on it and upon entering, he was immediately recognized and given the address of her estate. he taxis there, palms drenched in sweat and lips chapped. when he enters the property, he feels as if it were all a dream. he knows she is her own kind of royalty and she has established herself as such. when he knocks on the door, he is greeted by a butler, who invites him in and takes his flat cap and coat and rushes to get his mistress. he is left at the staircase with his heart beating rapidly. the house seems quiet except for an odd occurrence upstairs. a child crying? no, a baby. he swallows a lump in his throat. she has found another and they have conceived a child together. he will apologize and leave. 

--- THEY FOUND HIM 200 MILES AWAY, floating on a door. he was clinging to life at that point. hyperthermic, dirty, starving. his hand, mangled from his ravenous desire to eat. he had little choice. he was sent to a hospital in newfoundland before he was released to find his own way. the press constantly follows him, tracking his every move. he now stands in grand central station in new york city. he isn’t sure where he will find malena or if she has forgiven him. it’s been so many months since he forced her on that lifeboat. no doubt, she has read the papers and seen his face on the front cover. he is stopped all the time, sometimes scorn by grieving family members for being involved with the white star line and then praised for his valiant attempt to save passengers and facing the horrors of the sea alone. they ignore the leathery scars on his hand and he thanks god for that. nonetheless, his focus is on finding her and at least apologizing. if she does not forgive him, he will leave and never bother her ever again. he will not even utter her name, or dream of her, or mourn the loss of a promising relationship. he will just be happy to see her alive. 

--- HE MOTIONS FOR THE SAILORS IN CHARGE OF THE BOAT TO STEADY IT, and one moves to steady malena into the boat. the boat is already quite full, he notices and is ready to be taken down. suddenly, a woman pushes towards him, shoving a bundle into his arms. “ take her please, put her on the boat. “ he nods, looking at the small newborn that is now cradled in his arms. his eyes raises to malena but he entrusts the child to an older, grandmotherly like woman who is sat in the boat.     “ after this woman is seated, you are clear to embark. “ his eyes returns to malena, a small, apologetic smile on his face. “ godspeed. “

--- “ YES. I DO. I DO LOVE YOU. “ he says, almost embarrassed of himself. she is stubborn but her stubbornness is going to get her killed. he takes her face into his hands, wiping her tears away. “ i cannot just leave, malena. this is my job. i knew the risks and as much as i am willing to dedicate my life to you, you have to let me do this. you must at least try to survive. “ a part of him regrets ever being involved with her, at least if he had not known her, if she had not known him . . . she would have gotten on the boat without question. he is crying now but his tears are hot in his own passion and frustration. " now, get on the FUCKING boat before i have you restrained and tossed on like a sack of potatoes. do not DARE test me because i will. “

--- HIS MIND EASES IMMEDIATELY, and his head tilts back. it’s what he’s been dreaming of all day. a sigh escapes his mouth with a faint moan lingering behind. he watches her, wondering how god could have crafted such a perfect being. his gaze does not break. nobody has ever paid any attention to his balls before and he assumes it’s an italian thing. nonetheless, it feels divine.