Cowardice and failure.
To my love eternal,
Dear Loreilei,
My one and only Commander.
Please forgive me. I have failed you. My pilgrimage to the temples took me away from you for too long and upon returning you were sent away before I had the courage to face you again. I had grown fearsome and cowardly and I still am. I am hardly fit to aid in the fight of the Legion on the field. I hardly have the words to explain my hermetic practices, nor have I the words to describe how compelling the call of the light has become.
I failed to rescue you from the grips of death. I failed to find you in time, despite searching until no Inn would take me anymore for the poor labor I could trade for staying. My craft did not bless me with the power to save you and I have become insecure and ashamed. My faith was shaken, when faith was all I ever had throughout my life.
You deserve so much better than the poor job I have done of being your partner in life. I have failed you at every turn and was too blind to notice in time. Even a sightless woman like me should have seen it.
I hope and pray that what little good I have done and what little joy I’ve given will not be completely overshadowed by the grief I have caused you and the pain in your heart.
We’ve not made official vows, but I hereby release you from our tie. I sincerely hope someone much more capable will take my place eventually, that will be there right by your side every step of the way.
I’ve learned that I am only capable of steady devotion to one thing at a time, just another shortcoming I bear. I did not mean to, but I realized I’ve abandoned you. At the very least, I wish to be of aid to the world with the priesthood. I’ve joined to dedicates at Netherlight temple, where I will life out the remainder of my life and serve the light in celibacy and silence.
I’ve enclosed a small ruby that has been cut into the shape of a heart, within which I’ve poured my heart and love that still very much courses through my soul. I hope one day, you will find it in you to forgive me, even for this horrifically cowardly way of tell you all this. I am already at the temple, writing this letter to you from a tiny corner in a room I share with two other priests who seem to have done the same, perhaps for different reasons.
Call upon the light within the gem, when all other light has faded. I love you. Always and forever.
- Caelestra
[ @wanderinglore ]]
