Sissy Diary (english episode 3 -preversion in Bad english)
Do you know that feeling when you finally find some time to relax, think about your last days and you have no idea what to think about first because just so many things happened? Well, thatâs the feeling I have right now.
This was all happening so fast and it was exciting! Iâll try to give you the best possible impression, thatâs why I will exclude some experiences for the moment and write about them in later episodes. I want to give you a first impression of the most important topic: How is the life as a whore?
Itâs amazing! Itâs unbelievable! Sure, not everything is good and itâs absolutely not easy. Letâs start at the beginning.
Day starts 6 a.m. The morning rush-hour is important. So many lonely men â or married ones who have no or sparse sex with their women â who just want a fast quickie before going to their boring jobs and want an uncomplicated date directly on their way to work.
In best case I can do some of them at the same place. So I can save time which is important to harness that short interval. Usually that quickies donât last more than 5 minutes and I donât get much money for single dates. Thatâs why much effort for single dates are not worth. But if I can manage it to just stay at one place and get 2 or more guys there, this is the best time of the day in earning-effort ratio. Good places for that are bushes next to big streets or bus and tram changing stations (like the one in episode 2). Exactly at this place I had the exactly same client today. Unfortunately he would be the last one for a âlongâ time.
When I have finished the morning rush-hour I get home and check my replies. I write all of them down and think about how I can manage my Dates for maximum earning. This takes hours of time, also because I get new replies over and over. My smartphone vibrates permanently. Incoming replies via E-Mail, WhatsApp and SMS. I have to switch so often between the apps and clients are demanding! Some are writing E-Mails at first and then just text my phone and they expect me to know we already had a talk even when I canât know. Some just try to get some pictures for masturbation, some just disappear midway through concluding a date and others just donât answer my simple questions. And because some dates get cancelled I can say for about 20 replies I get one coming off date. Thatâs frustrating!
No lunchdate replies today. That happens. Lunchdates are the same people like in early rush-hour but in this interval I need to come next to their working places because they have to work again soon.
Today is not a good day. 1 morning rush hour date. No replies for lunch or afternoon. OK, so I can relax and prepare for my evening date. I have to.
I like this new lifestyle. I have money, I do so much experiences and i love the feeling of getting desired. Of course there are many bad factors. But all in all I love this. I love what I do, but I hate that I HAVE TO do it. This is maybe the best description. Some days are really hard and I have to decline replies because of no time. But some days I just have 5 replies. I had many jobs in my life and none was roughly swaying like being a whore.
One of my personal highlights are definitely the evening dates! I just fucking love them! At the clients home and with longer duration then this unpersonal quickies I can finally show what I am able to do. And because I know you all donât want to read just about âdaily routineâ I have a special experience for you â my so far best evening date!
It was the day after episode 2. After my afternoon dates â I already had 5 clients until evening â I could finally look forward to my evening date. It was my first reply who wanted me as crossdresser and not as a guy. He was so smart, nice and courteous, a southern type (semi black) and he promised me he will treat me like a princess. I felt so comfortable when I texted him that I get suspiciously.
I went to the drugstore to buy some hygiene products for woman. I needed shampoo, lotion, perfume and deodorant. My choice was easy, I just thought like a real Sissy. If I have the choice, I just take the pink one!
I took a shower and shaved my body â all over! I picked my outfit and dressed me up. He was so nice, he even asked me what he should buy to drink and if I have any wishes. He was amazing! The date was just awesome. We talked a lot about any topics. I had a bad start because i was so nervous that it was hard for me to break my manly habits at first. Maxi is still new to me and sometimes itâs hard to swap between Max and Maxi mode. I will talk about this in ep4.
He had a very affectionately dog what was really good for my start. I tried to calm down a bit while I stroke his fur. It worked, I get relaxed. I sat on his sofa with feminine crossed legs and we talked for hours. It was an intensive and varied conversation. Then my prince stroked softly over my legs. In no time we were naked and I sucked his cock. It was medium long but very thick. The acorn was velvet soft and perfectly shaped. I did my very best to give him a great show. I sucked and licked his balls like there is no tomorrow, I stroke his cock softly to tease him to the max, I sucked his cock until my chin touches his balls and I tickled his acorn like my life depends on it. He allowed himself much time to cum, what I liked very much because I could give him my full program. And then he came!
We cuddled for some time and then I left. The evening was just so awesome. It was the first time I could be Maxi in real life â and I loved to be Maxi!
I had some replies for the night but I decided to decline all of them. I didnât want to ruin that evening with a gay quickie as a guy. So this evening could just become worse. Thatâs why I decided to go to bed â of course after I told Bambi and the sissy group every detail of my evening.
After I had a vacation day I got back to work on Monday. It was my best day, I had 10 clients even if 2 clients cancelled in last minute. Most of them were casual clients (40+, gay, lonely, in best case casual looking) but two of them were different. The first one was a nearly 30y old, attractive men. Straight and he have a girlfriend. He was just curious because a gay friend told him that gays give better blowjobs then girls and he wanted to try it. I gave him a quickie blowjob next to my house, directly at the main station at the lower stairs of a tunnel-emergency-exit.
6 hours later I had my last date of the day. He told me to enter the tram and to leave at the final station. I obey. When the passengers were all gone, I got it â my client is the tram driver and he was much older than me!
I wrote Bambi and told her about my situation. I was a bit shocked and needed someone to talk to get less nervous about it. Then I decided: Iâll do it! When we arrived at the final station he came towards me and lead me to the break-room of the tram drivers. He turned out as a dominant Daddy und knew how to treat a sub. He beat me (not too hard but also not too soft), he took what he wanted and he used my mouth like a sexpuppy. He paid very good and said we will have much more dates if I want. Iâll write more about him in episode 4, because the flashback is very long this time.
Last time I told you about the first cock I sucked, this time I talk about an experience which happened just a few months later and shaped me for all my life. And to give you a little spoiler: After this flashback I still was a virgin in relation to girls.
Since I was 4 years old I played soccer in a soccer club â and I was really good at it. My father often had to manage all the scouts who want to take me to their club, scouts of teams from second and third pro division. (No worry, I will cut the soccer part as short as possible). I ever was the kind of teamplayer, individually one of the outstanding ones (my club was really bad lol) but I never was the leader. I did my best for the team and just focused on my tasks in defense. And I was a good penality shooter.
One day we had a big competition with â except us â only very strong teams. With luck and commitment we reached the final. Soon we were 2-0 behind even when I did a good job. Then we got a penality. Our leader, Tom, shot them in usual. He was the leader on the field and off. He was the team alpha. I have no idea what creeped over me, I just felt invincible at that day, but I took the ball and shot it. I scored. Tom looked at me and I looked back. I could see how he freaked out in the inner. For him this was a majesty insult. (Can I say it like that in English?) He came to me and said I would regret it. And he should be rightâŚ
Of course there were a lot of scouts at the competition. And some of them directly went to my father. Tom passed them and pointed on me with his finger. Now it was time for shower. When I entered the shower there were just Tom and his 4 best friends left. If I would have known what would happen next I would have just run away and cry. But now Tom saw me and it was too late. âLook whoâs there, big courage to come here. We waited for you!â Tom said. His friends came to me and hold my arms and pushed me to Tom. He continued âAt first you fault 2 goals against us and then you take my penality? Are you crazy? I am the leader. I shoot the penalities. I score the goals! Your only job ist to prevent the opponents goals â and you failed 4 times this game! You did a bad job!â
He grabbed his shower gel from the soap tray and threw it with full power onto my chest. My breathe stopped and the pain pervaded all my body. I started to cry and wanted to let me fall down on my knees but his friends held me up. âAlready crying? I just started! You have to learn who ist he boss at least as long as I get an offer of a pro club!â He swing his leg back and kicked me with full power into my balls. I screamed, I cried, I whimpered when I felt the hardest pain of my life. Finally his friends let me go and I fell down on the floor. I rolled back and forth on the ground and Tom shouted âQuiet! If you make any more load noise Iâll kick much harder next time! Understood?â
I tried my best to stop. I still cried but I suppressed my noise as good as I could. I kneeled down now, between Tom and his friends who formed a privacy protection to the door. Tom said âAnd now, kiss my cock!â ⌠His words hit me even more then his kick. Suddenly all the pain was gone and i stopped crying immediately. I felt frozen and couldnât think anymore. I know that feel already, but this time it was much stronger. My chest felt like constricted and the time seemed to stand still. I couldnât move or even say one single word. The moment felt eternal, my brain turned off. I didnât feel anything â no pain, no sense of time, not a single thought in my brain.
A slap of Toms flat hand ripped me out of my petrification. I wanted to scream but I swallowed the noise because of my fear of another kick. Instead I drew my head closer to Toms cock. Tears still running down my cheek and my thoughts drove crazy! The humiliation was extreme and made me even more defenseless. I didnât want to do that! I would never ever kiss his cock voluntary. But what choice had I? On the one hand I feel disgusted about kissing or even touching his cock. Okay I sucked cock before, but never because of desire. The submission, the humiliation, the embarrassment did this indescribable arousing to obey. âOh look this faggot likes it!â, Tom scoffed while I kissed his acorn. I looked down on me â my clit was hard. Harder than ever before. I felt dirty. Tom continued âOpen your mouth!â I wanted to run away. But I had only 2 options. Do or get beaten up. âWhy wait? Stand up, bend over and suck my cock, hahaha!â I even had to stanp up. Toms friends grabbed my arms and pulled me up. Then they pushed my upper body forward until I touched Toms cock with my face. I opened my mouth and sucked his cock. I felt so unbelievable badâŚ
Then I felt something warm, velvety and hard at my butthole. What is thAAAAAAAATTTTTT! OMGOMGOMG, WHAT THE HELL? Enormously stinging pain at my butthole, but i couldnât move away because some help my hips! And I couldnât even look back because I had to suck Toms cock. I had no idea where this pain come from until the pain eased up a bit. Then I realized what happened with me. I was getting fucked in my ass! One of Toms friends rammed his cock without training and with just water as lube deep in my virgin asshole! I tried to tense my hole in the hope he will slip out but it causes just the opposite. When he felt my hole getting tighter his cock just get thicker and harder. Subsequently I just relaxed my hole to have the least pain possible.
âYes little faggot, if u betray this to someone then we will find you and we will be even more violent!â but honestly I woulnât talk about this humiliating story anyway.
Toms friend behind me moaned and I felt his cock pulsating. He came. âHave you just shot into his asshole?â Tom laughed. âYes I have hahaâ
Then another friend entered my ass and fucked me too. When Tom came in my mouth and the ofher one in my ass, Tom said âAh, okay. There is at least one thing you are good for!â and then they all left the shower. And me⌠I was sitting in the corner, crying and trembling, my clit still hard. When I touched it I came immediately and harder than ever before.
This day changes me â forever. I started to finger my asspussy daily and evolved rape fantasies in front of spectators or by a group or both. Before masturbate I fingered my pussy every time and without my wild fantasies I never get to orgasm again. Even today I canât cum without thinking about humiliation or getting raped. Even when I had my girlsfriends I just could get hard by thinking about such fantasies.
By the way I stayed in my football club. At the end of the season Tom and his friends rised to the next age group so they were not in my team anymore. Until the end of the season I even go to shower with them, sometimes a bit in hope this happens again. Sometimes there were other people, sometimes he sent me away but a few times he just said âCome hereâ and I kneeled down in front of him and sucked him.
He wanted me to beg for it and he and his friends treated me like a worthless whore. My head screaming âStop it! You donât want that! What are you doing!â but my body just continued and continued. I couldnât stop. I had to obey. After every time I felt bad like shit. But when I looked back some days later I got aroused.
Next time Iâll talk about my first sex with a girl which happened about 6 months later. Ep4 is in work already â Iâll try to finish it asap.
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